“I didn’t outgrow it, Lu. I’m never going to outgrow it or you. And if you would just give me a chance, I’ll show you.”
I turned to face him, finally able to do so without the fear of embarrassing myself with stupid tears. “But I’ve outgrown you, Harris. I’ve moved on. I don’t need you anymore.” It was a total lie, a complete bullshit lie, but this was what I had to do. I knew that what I felt for that guy went beyond just friendship and I didn’t want to risk my heart when I knew that it could never be more than that.
The pain that flashed through his eyes had the power to eviscerate me. I hardened my heart to it, putting up all the walls I kept erect for the outside world. It felt so wrong to do that with Harris but it was the only way. I wasn’t strong enough—
“Lucy, you don’t mean that. You can try to tell yourself you don’t need me all you want, but I know you.” His laugh was sad, and I had to bite my lip to keep it from trembling. “And then again, maybe you don’t need me. The thing is, I don’t care. I miss you, damn it. I miss you and I want us to be friends again. Just give it a chance, Lu.”
“No.” I pushed past him and went back into the house. I knew he would follow, could feel him just a foot or so behind me as I went through the quiet house and opened the front door. “I’m sorry, Harris.”
Those beautiful eyes of his bored into me and he stood there for a long moment. I averted my eyes, scared he could see through everything and make this even harder on me. Fuck, I was such a coward. My hands started to tremble and I pushed them into the pocket of my hoodie to hide it.
Finally Harris muttered a curse and stepped through the open door. “I’ll call you.”
“I’ve changed my number.”
“Good thing Layla gave me the new one then, huh?” He turned and winked down at me. “See you soon, Lu.”
“Not going to happen,” I bit out and slammed the door in his handsome face.
“Lucy?”
I blinked back the memories and met Marcus’s gaze. He was standing with the back passenger door open, his hand out waiting for me to take it. Blowing out a frustrated sigh, I took it and let him help me out. Kin was already standing on the sidewalk waiting on me, her bright blue eyes darkened with concern.
“You really don’t want to be here, do you?” Kin grasped my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “Look, we don’t have to do this. I can come back by myself another time.”
I mentally kicked myself. My cowardice was going to hurt my friend and I just couldn’t do that. Kin needed my support more than I needed to hide from Harris Cutter. It was time I pulled up my big-girl panties and started acting like a real friend. I returned her squeeze. “No. We are doing this. I’m sorry for being such a drag. It’s over now, though. I’m going to go in there and fan girl the place down when you get up there.”
Her face brightened and she hugged me tight. “Thanks, Lucy.”
Marcus cleared his throat and Kin stepped back, taking the guitar case he was holding. It had surprised me when she’d told me that she played guitar a little. When she’d met all of my family, Drake had pretty much pushed his favorite Fender into her hands and told her to play something. The way his jaw had dropped when she’d started playing “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica still had the power to make me grin. Kin didn’t play ‘just a little’ she played like a freaking dream.
The bouncer at the front of the line stopped us again. This guy was different from the one who had been keeping the crazed club goers at bay on Saturday night. When I told him my name he rolled his eyes so I pulled my ID out of my back pocket to prove who I was. The fact that five different pap photographers were screaming it from across the street as their cameras flashed over and over again just didn’t convince him.
After taking his time looking for my name on the list, he begrudgingly let us in. Tiny stepped out from the darkness by the stairs that led to the VIP lounge but I shook my head at him. We weren’t here to party with the other VIPs. Kin was here to amaze the music execs and we couldn’t do that upstairs. Open mike was on the first floor, so that was where we were going.
“Miss Thornton, my security staff can’t guarantee your safety in there.” Tiny’s voice was softer than it had been the last time I’d heard it, imploring. “Please, come up and join the other VIPs. It will be more enjoyable.”
I glanced at Marcus who lifted his lips in the closest thing resembling a grin I’d ever seen from him before turning back to the extremely large man. “I don’t need you to guarantee anything. That’s what he gets paid the big bucks for.”
Tiny stepped back but he didn’t look particularly happy about it. Kin tugged me forward and we entered the first floor of the club. It wasn’t nearly as crowded as it had been Saturday, despite the line outside being just as long, but there were still very few seats to choose from.
Marcus found a nearly empty table, scared off the two twenty-something guys sitting there and held out a chair for me and then for Kin. Once we were seated he stepped back a few paces and stood there assessing the room. It offered us some measure of privacy, which we were thankful for.
A waitress stopped by our table minutes later and asked us what we wanted to drink. “Ginger ale,” I told the girl in the classy dress pants with a white button-up top. She had the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and the top three buttons undone, showing off a hell of a lot of nice cleavage. The girl was pretty, seemed nice, and was quick to get us our drinks.
With our glasses of ginger ale sitting in front of us, Kin glanced around the room. For the first time tonight she looked nervous. Open mike was about to start and I knew she was starting to have second thoughts.
Reaching over, I grasped both of her hands. “Kin, you’re going to kick ass up there. Don’t worry about getting the chords right, or if your voice gets off key. You aren’t here to become a rock star. You’re here to get your songs recognized, maybe even sell it. You are a gifted writer and you are going to bring the house down with that song of yours, babe.”
Her lips quivered at the edges for a moment before she pursed them together. Inhaling deeply, she blew it out in a rush and grinned at me. “You’re right. Now, where do I sign up for my chance to get up there and kick some ass?”
“From what Aunt Emmie told me, you tell the bartender and he adds you to the rotation.” I glanced over at the bar where I saw two chicks in the same outfit our waitress had been wearing pouring drinks. “Best bet is over there, babe.”
Straightening her shoulders, she stood and moved through the crowd to the bar. I watched as she spoke to one of the bartenders who quickly pointed toward the end of the bar. Kin’s face tightened and I followed her gaze to find Jace sitting there with a beer in hand, talking to Harris.
Groaning, I raked my hands through my hair. If I hadn’t spent two hours straightening the crazy curly locks, my fingers would have tangled, but they went through the straightened length easily. Would it have been asking too much to have had Harris take a night off? Just one? Damn him and his work ethic.
Even from across the club, I could see the determination that entered Kin’s expression, followed by an evil-ass grin. Oh shit. What was she going to do? I might have only known her a few weeks, but I’d learned really quickly that she had a devious mind. Especially after seeing how pretty pink both her stepsisters’ hair had turned after they had pissed her off just days after she’d moved in with her father and his family. That had been hilarious, but I didn’t know if I wanted that evil genius loose tonight when all I wanted was to avoid Harris as much as possible.
Kin moved and when she walked there was a new sway to her hips. The girl was nearly six feet tall and her long legs encased in the skinny jeans she was wearing made them look like they went on for miles. The way they molded to her ass, making it look so perfect, would have seriously made me jealous of her if I didn’t love her so much. The heeled sandals she was wearing were classic black and probably the only pair she owned since her taste in clothes wasn’t far from my own.
We both liked comfort and if it weren’t for the dress code at school, we would have both been wearing jeans and classic rock T-shirts every day. Tonight her rocker shirt had been replaced with a simple white tee and vintage black leather half vest. She looked the part she was going to play on stage tonight.
Like a kick-ass rock star.
As Kin drew closer to the two guys my gaze drifted toward them. Jace looked like he was dressed more for comfort in jeans, a Tainted Knights T-shirt and biker boots. His facial hair was scruffy and his hair was styled in an I-don’t-care-but-you-still-think-I’m-sexy look. I wasn’t all that into the slightly shaggy look.
No, I thought, as my gaze quickly moved past the rocker, I preferred them clean cut. Harris had always been a little obsessed keeping his hair short and neat. I knew it was because his dad’s hair had always been long. The two could have passed for twins at a distance and that irritated Harris in the extreme. His short hair set them apart and that’s the way he wanted it to stay.
Unlike the guy sitting next to him, Harris was dressed a little more professionally in a pair of dress pants and a dark blue button-up shirt that was only half buttoned. When I caught a glimpse of hard, yummy muscles peeking through his half opened shirt I quickly averted my eyes. Damn, damn, and double damn. I did not need a reminder that what I felt for Harris Cutter was completely different than what it had once been. This went beyond friendship, and it went a hell of a lot further than a simple crush.
If it had been just a crush I might have even been able to get past it and get our friendship back. It wasn’t, though. This was full-on hardcore lust mixed with something that I didn’t have the guts to put a name to. That was why I couldn’t give in. It would only end in a very ugly disaster.
Kin was less than three feet away from them when Jace lifted his head and met her gaze. She faltered for a half a step then that evil grin turned shy and mysterious. That grin scared me even more than the evil one. Oh damn. What was she up to?
Jace’s eyes seemed to eat up the sight of her. The look on his face was familiar to me since I saw it every day when my dad looked at my mom. The rocker was in love with my friend, which only confused the hell out of me. If he loved her so much, why the fuck had he left her when she’d needed him the most?
Guys were such dumbass dickheads sometimes.
While Jace was devouring Kin with his eyes, she was looking past him, completely ignoring him. She leaned against the bar, her hips popped out and her boobs front and center as she spoke to Harris. Jace’s face turned to stone more and more the longer the other two talked.
After a few minutes, Kin nodded her head toward me and Harris’s aquamarine eyes turned in my direction. I quickly looked away, not wanting to get trapped with his gaze. I picked up my phone and started going through messages and notifications so that I at least looked like I was distracted.
Kin was back sooner than I thought she would be. She dropped down into the chair beside me. When the chair on my left was pulled back, my head jerked up and I was helpless to look away this time. Harris had a smug-ass grin on his face and I had to clench my hands together to keep from smacking it off his face. Crap-tastic.
“Why haven’t you answered my messages?” he asked as a way of greeting, scooting his chair as close to mine as possible. “I figured I would have at least gotten a ‘fuck you’ or a ‘go to hell’. Instead all I get is nothing. I’d rather have the ‘fuck you’, Lu.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded. “I haven’t gotten any messages from you.” I would have remembered that. I would have answered with a ‘go fuck yourself’ rather than the two he’d suggested. I was a little more direct than that. If I’d told him ‘fuck you’ I would have just been stating what I wanted from him, not really insulting him. Yeah, I wasn’t going to go tempting myself any more than I already was.
“The hell you say. I’ve been texting you since Sunday night.” He pulled his phone from his pants pocket and pulled up his messages. The text name was mine, and there was one message after another on the screen with not one single reply. I snatched the phone from his hands and went straight to the information. A grin teased at my lips when I saw the number that he’d said my mom had given him.
“What’s going on?” Kin asked, leaning over my shoulder to glance at the screen. “That’s not your number.” She frowned. “Lucy, really, why would you wrong number the guy?”
“I didn’t,” I snickered. “Mom did.”
Harris snatched his phone back with a curse. “Layla wrong numbered me?” His face dropped; hurt flashing in his eyes for a split second before it vanished. “I thought she liked me.”
“Oh, stop it. Mom loves you.” I picked up my ginger ale and took a small sip. “She just loves me more.”
“So give me your real number.” He held out the phone again. “Let me send you stupid messages that you can actually read and ignore, or—and this is my preference by the way—actually talk to me.”
Before I could respond, the last free chair at our table was jerked back and Jace St. Charles sat down. His shoulders were ridged, his face set in stone and his ice blue eyes drill holes into Kin. “Are you really going to play games with me, Kin?” he gritted out. “I thought you were more mature than that.”
Bright blue eyes snapped up. “Go to hell, Jace.”
“So, your number?” Harris waved his phone in my face, momentarily distracting me from the drama that was taking place right beside me. “Come on, Lu. You know you want to. You can call and keep me up all night any time you want. I won’t mind.” He winked and leaned a few inches closer. “Admit it, sweetheart, you miss me.”
My heart shuddered in my chest and I lowered my eyes to the phone in his hand so he wouldn’t see the truth in my eyes. I missed him like an amputated limb. He was the missing piece of the puzzle that was my sanity, yet he was also the piece of the puzzle that could shatter my heart. Damn it.
I could feel myself caving as I inhaled and the scent that I remembered so clearly as belonging to him—a little woodsy, a little spicy, and one hundred percent Harris Cutter—invaded my senses. Before my heart and head could wrap around what I was doing, I had snatched his phone back and started punching in my number.
He was quick to take it back once I was finished. He typed something and seconds later my phone chimed with an incoming message. Rolling my eyes, I picked up the phone and saw his number across the screen. Say cheese!
I barely had time to read the message when I heard his phone clicking as he snapped a picture of me. I shoved his shoulder. “Pig. Erase it. No way are you using something stupid like that.”
He chuckled as he did something to his phone then grabbed my hand and tugged. I didn’t want to go, but his hold tightened and I rolled my eyes again. Getting to my feet, I expected him to stand up too so that we could take a picture together. Instead he pulled me down onto his lap and tucked me closer to his chest. My heartrate took off at the speed of a bullet train. His scent was richer this close to him. My back was pressed into a hard, hot chest and I couldn’t relax. Not when my thighs were starting to burn with something I’d only read about in all the romance books that had become my secret addiction. This feeling was pure, unadulterated lust, made all the worse because it was my first time of truly experiencing it.
“Relax, I’m not going to bite you.” Harris’s warm breath skimmed over my neck seconds before his lips skimmed over my cheek. I felt my face turning red with a mixture of embarrassment and a need I wasn’t sure I completely understood just as the sound of the camera on his phone snapped our picture.
I caught a glimpse of my over-bright eyes and his smug grin before he moved it away, examining the picture better. I had to admit that it looked good. Despite my blush and lust-filled eyes, I looked good. We looked good together.
“Okay, your turn.” He leaned forward and picked up my phone lying next to my glass of soda. “What do you want? Goofy? Serious? We can send one to your dad where Marcus is strangling me in the b
ackground. Jesse will love that.”
My heart twisted as I watched his face while he messed around on my phone. This right here—this felt like old times. This happy feeling blooming in my chest, the small snicker bubbling up at the thought of what my dad would say about getting a selfie from me with my bodyguard strangling Harris in the background… This was what I’d missed the most.
My decision was made for me then and there. In that moment it didn’t matter that I was probably going to break my heart on this guy. All I wanted was this feeling, this happy carefree feeling, to stay a little longer. Pulling my phone out of his hands, I snuggled back against his chest and lifted my hand, ready to snap at least a dozen pictures.
Two strong arms wrapped around my middle and he turned his head. Warm lips skimmed over my cheek once more and I held down the button on the camera, letting it take picture after picture instantly in a burst.
“So when does this open mike thing start?” Kin asked and I dropped my hand. On the outside she didn’t look affected in any way except for a slight tremble in her fingers as she lifted her glass of ginger ale. “I’d like to get this over with.”
Harris glanced down at the watch on his left wrist and cursed. “Fuck. It should have started five minutes ago.” He pressed another kiss to my cheek and lifted me off his lap like I didn’t weigh anything at all. “Give me ten and I’ll get everything settled,” he told her, then turned those beautiful eyes back to me, flashing those sinful dimples. “Don’t go anywhere.”
I wasn’t going anywhere.
Stupid girl.
Chapter 6
Harris
I had paperwork to handle, emails to return, liquor orders to make, and employees to manage. First Bass wasn’t going to run itself, no matter how competent my staff might have been. I had an assistant manager that I trusted to run the place once a week so that I could actually have a few hours of peace during the week, but she wasn’t working tonight.