“Cool. Where?”
“Washington.”
“State?”
I nod and pitch a melon rind
over the side.
“When you going back?”
My face pulls into a frown.
“Leave here?” My glance
indicates the paradise
of sparkling blue we float in.
“Are you kidding?”
“You can’t stay forever.”
“Why not?”
“Visa runs out.”
“That sucks.”
“Not for me. Commonwealth privileges!”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
I flick a piece of melon
at him and stick my tongue out,
wander to the back of the boat,
try to see what’s going on down under.
I’ve never been so eager to get
in the water, sink into Michael’s
kingdom, obey his every command,
trust him with my life
like our pudgy pal and her friends.
Cooper hands me a mask.
“Care for a swim?”
He tapes my cast in bag,
jams fins on my feet,
and comes along so I don’t
drown. “He’s over there.”
He points to bubbles
percolating on the surface.
I swim to them, mask down,
blowing too hard through
my snorkel until
Michael comes into view.
Perfect.
Except I’m here.
He’s there.
Gotta change that up.
Soon.
But today, this moment
of jeweled wonder floating
in pure clear ocean
I can watch, wait
and love him.
Chapter 16
BACKFIRE
LEESIE’S MOST PRIVATE CHAPBOOK
POEM #87, BABYSITTERS
Seth’s off this AM,
drunk again last night.
“Can you watch him?”
Alex says through her toothbrush.
I pull a bleck-are-you-crazy face. “What?”
She spits. “Watch him—hang out until we”—
she pauses to rinse—“all get back at lunch.”
“What would I do with him?”
I can see Seth through our half-open bedroom door,
awake earlier than he needs to be, turning his nose
up at bacon and eggs.
Alex rinses her toothbrush. “Keep him
away from the beer.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
She gives me a don’t-be-this-stunned-this-early
grimace. “Feed him coffee.”
“I don’t do coffee.”
“It’s a machine, hon. Already done.”
Me serving coffee? To hung-over Seth?
What a joke. Maybe I’ll try some.
Or join the guy in a couple of beers.
Michael won’t be around to stop me.
The apartment empties out.
Michael’s the last to go. He kisses
me good-bye and gives Seth a wave.
Friendly? Weird.
I don’t want Michael to walk out
that door and leave me behind
with Mr. Broken-Down-Boozer.
But he does.
I give Seth his coffee, disappear
into the bathroom, take too
long in the shower.
Loud knocking on the outer door
penetrates my steamy retreat.
Somebody’s yelling like there’s a fire.
I turn the water off, wrap fast in a towel,
drip my way to the door, don’t open it.
“What?” I yell at the wood.
“You all right in there?”
Seth’s yelling, angry? Still pounding.
“Fine.”
The knocking stops. “Oh, sorry.”
“And you?” Rude not to play
my part in this strange ballet.
“Fine.”
“Perfect. Can I get dressed now?”
“Fine.”
I put on my yellow dress with
turquoise stripes, sandals,
the baseball cap that matches,
open the door, peak out—
Seth’s sitting in the living room
mess of pulled out couch and unmade cots
sipping a beer.
I begin to withdraw, hide, renege on my promise,
but I push myself forward instead, march
up to him and grab the can. “Alex says
no beer this morning.”
He holds out his hand.
“Just let me finish that one.
I don’t want to waste it.”
I sniff the contents—reeking nastiness—
like grain that’s gone bad in the elevator—
fake a smile. “That’s okay. I’ll drink it.”
He’s out of his chair, lunges at me, grabs
the can—dumps it down the sink.
“No way, girl. Michael would kill me.”
My forehead folds into ugly creases.
“What has he told you guys about me?”
Seth stares at the retreating golden
liquid and mumbles, “That you don’t
drink beer, and you’re a—”
The guy actually blushes.
I reach over and turn on the faucet.
“What’s going on here?”
He pulls the spray gadget free
and squirts the sink clean.
“Michael asked me to—”
“Watch me?” I flip off the water. “That’s rich.”
“What?”
“Alex asked me to—”
Seth’s eyebrows arch, and I start
to see what Dani saw in him.
He grins. “Babysit me?”
Head shakes. Nervous laughs.
“We’re officially pathetic.”
He crushes the empty beer can.
“Dangerously psychotic.”
I take the can and trash it.
We both blurt,
“Who do they think they are?”
He yells, “Jinx.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“You can’t talk.”
“Nobody’s jinxed me since—”
Phil the Pill. A lump gets
stuck in my throat just
above my heart.
Seth’s got a pained look on his face, too.
“Damn. Sorry. Dani was goofy like that—
way into kid’s stuff—jinx and slug bugs
and—” His voice breaks. “Crap.”
I look down at the white linoleum I need
to scrub. “Sorry to remind you.”
He takes a minute to get control.
“No one mentions her—I hate that.
It’s like she’s dead or something.”
I close my eyes tight. “That would be worse.”
“Maybe not.”
“Trust me.”
We walk up the highway to East End’s
tiny grocery, buy hot dogs, buns,
and a foil pain full of easy-light mini
charcoal that we light on the beach.
I focus on the red glow creeping
through the miniature grill, glance
up at Seth, catch his eyes.
“Did you love Dani?”
His eyes drop down to the caged fire.
“I thought it was just for kicks—until
she left.”
I touch his hand. “You should tell
her that.”
He jerks his hand away from me.
“How? I don’t know where the hell she is.”
I speak slowly, not sure what or why,
let the words tumble out.
“But what if she misses you?
/> What if she’s sick of Kai?
What if she made a horrible mistake?
What if she loves you?”
He searches the horizon for returning
boats, stirs the reddening charcoal.
“The office probably has her address.”
I nod, smile. “Don’t you have her email?”
“Of course.”
“What are you waiting for?”
LEESIE HUNT / CHATSPOT LOG / 06/05 3:15 PM
Kimbo69 says: I can’t believe you told Seth to email the slut who ran off with your roommate’s boyfriend.
Leesie327 says: I know. I was possessed by something crazy. If Alex finds out I gave Seth the idea, I’m toast. I’ll be sleeping on the sidewalk.
Kimbo69 says: Alex already knows about it?
Leesie327 says: Oh, yeah. They all do.
Kimbo69 says: Seth told? She must have written back.
Leesie327 says: If a guy emailed you that he loves you and life is hell without you, what would you do?
Kimbo69 says: Send him a nice reply saying I’m sorry?
Leesie327 says: That’s a start.
Kimbo69 says: Call him and beg his forgiveness?
Leesie327 says: You’re getting warmer.
Kimbo69 says: Try to see him so I can convince him with my personal charms?
Leesie327 says: How about fly back to Cayman and move back in with him as if nothing ever happened.
Kimbo69 says: Seth is that much of a sucker?
Leesie327 says: It’s what he wants more than anything. He took her for granted until she was gone. He won’t do that again.
Kimbo69 says: Is Alex ballistic?
Leesie327 says: It got pretty ugly when Seth told her Dani’s coming “home” this weekend.
Kimbo69 says: What about the guy?
Leesie327 says: Kai? He’s staying in St. Lucia. Dani caught him cheating on her. She says he cheated on Alex with a bunch of other girls—not just her.
Kimbo69 says: Alex is well rid of the creep.
Leesie327 says: She sees that, but not enough to welcome Dani back into the nest.
Kimbo69 says: She and Seth should find another place to live.
Leesie327 says: No chance of that happening. Seth’s kicking Gabriel out of his room to make way for Dani.
Kimbo69 says: So where’s he going?
Leesie327 says: On a cot in the living room I guess. Alex would like him to move in with her, but I’m in the way.
Kimbo69 says: Is she making any progress?
Leesie327 says: I think so. He got all protective when Seth announced Dani was moving back. He and Alex went down to the beach together—didn’t come back until late.
Kimbo69 says: Total soap opera.
Leesie327 says: Right. Since I caused the problem, I’ve found the solution.
Kimbo69 says: What?
Leesie327 says: I looked up getting married on Cayman. If you’re a resident, you have to go to the registrar’s office and they post a notice in public that you are going to marry. People have two weeks to object. Crazy, huh.
Kimbo69 says: Like bans in Jane Austen novels?
Leesie327 says: If you’re getting married in a church, they still do that.
Kimbo69 says: What’s your status there? Are you like an illegal immigrant?
Leesie327 says: I’m a visitor. I can stay six months. Michael has a temporary work permit. So we’re not officially residents. Maybe he is. I can’t tell. I think we can get married using a non-resident permit.
Kimbo69 says: How does this help the situation?
Leesie327 says: Non-residents just have to pay $250, prove their age and citizenship, and they get a certificate. It’s easy. Fast. You go to some government office in Georgetown and get it.
Kimbo69 says: You’re really going to do it?
Leesie327 says: I have to convince Michael all this drama isn’t good for me. Moving into our own condo would be the only option. He’d do it if we’re married.
Kimbo69 says: You’ll end up convincing him to buy you a ticket home. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Leesie327 says: That’s not going to happen. He loves it here as much as I do. I think he’ll work here as long as they’ll let him. That’s something like eight years. I’m already home.
Kimbo69 says: But you have a family.
Leesie327 says: He’ll be my family. He’s all I need.
Kimbo69 says: What about your mom’s needs? What about your Dad—and Stephie?
Leesie327 says: This way they’re safe. I can’t hurt them anymore.
Kimbo69 says: That’s stupid. Twisted. Selfish and mean.
Leesie327 says: Me.
Kimbo69 says: No. It’s not you. Not the girl I know.
Leesie327 says: But it’s who I’ll be forever now. I’m scared for Michael. What will I do to him?
Chapter 17
COMPLICATIONS
MICHAEL’S DIVE LOG – VOLUME #10
Dive Buddy: Leesie plus
Date: 06/06
Dive #: --
Location: Grand Cayman
Dive Site: the apartment
Weather Condition: night time again
Water Condition: choppy
Depth: manageable?
Visibility: too clear
Water Temp: getting warmer
Bottom Time: not sure—hours
Comments:
Seth is supposed to pick Dani up at the airport tonight, but nobody’s seen them yet. I take Leesie out to dinner, and when we get back, Alex has Gabriel in the room. There’s a note to Leesie on the door. Come back at one.
I steer Leesie out of the apartment before she hears anything. She’s never been around stuff like this. I don’t like it.
“How long has that been brewing?”
“Since Kai left. Gabriel’s good at comfort.”
“But not commitment.” I put my arm around Leesie, and we head down the stairs.
“Alex thinks she can change that.”
My hand glides down to Leesie’s waist. “He seems to care about her. You should have heard him tear into Seth when we were cleaning up after this morning’s dives. Not like him at all.”
Leesie slips her arm out of her sling and wraps her fingers around mine. “He’s a classic hero. All he needed was a damsel in distress.”
I jingle the keys in my pocket. “You want to go for a drive.”
She wraps me closer, puts my hand on her stomach. “Nope.”
We wander across the beach and down to the dock. She wants to make out, but we need to talk.
I kiss her fingers. “So Alex and Gabriel? Is that going to be awkward?”
She runs the fingers of her casted hand through my hair. “I guess I could take the fifth cot in the living room.”
“No way. It’s not that serious. They’re just messing around tonight. He won’t move in with her.”
Her eyebrows rise. “You don’t know Alex.”
I sling both arms around her back. “You don’t know Gabriel.”
“She got your work schedules changed up, so they’re diving together—every shift.” She sticks out her tongue at me.
I wrinkle my nose back at her. “She’s so not his type.”
She leans in close. “But she needs him.” Her breath tickles my ear. “That’s intoxicating.”
I close my eyes and inhale her cocoanut closeness. I miss her sweet banana mango shampoo. “So what do you think we should do?”
She kisses me. “Make out.”
“But—”
Her mouth is on mine again. “But nothing.”
We kiss for awhile standing on the edge of the dock with the soft night surge swirling against the floating wood and the deep starry night for a backdrop. It’s sweet—slow, unhurried, neither of us going anywhere, pressuring each other to do anything else but hold each other and trade love with our lips.
I rest my cheek against her head. “You can’t stay in that apartment all summer. It’s not good for you.”
/>
Her face gets hot. “Maybe I’ll learn something.”
I grasp her face between my hands and tilt her head back. “I don’t want you to learn anything.”
Her shoulders rise in a hopeless shrug. “I have to learn sometime.”
“I’ll find a new place for you to stay.”
“Without you?” Her lips find my neck. “No way.” She looks down at our feet—mine on either side of hers. “Let’s buy our own place.”
She pulls me in close, kisses me, won’t let me talk.
I turn away from her lips. “But we can’t get married.”
“Yes”—she kisses me—“we can.” Another kiss. “It’s easy.” She goes in for another kiss, but I pull out of her reach.
She pouts, then flashes the smile I love. “I looked it all up. We could get married tomorrow—well Monday if I didn’t have my appointment.”
I study her happy face. “Did you plan the whole Dani thing out? Manipulate it all to get me to marry you?”
She laughs. “I’m not that smart. But I am in the way for Alex and Gabriel. We don’t have much choice.”
“We can’t get married.”
She kisses me, gets my tongue.
“Stop it, babe.” I cover her lips with my fingers, tip my forehead so it touches hers. “I promised your dad I’d take you home before we get married.”
The smile drains out of her face. “You what?” She releases me, turns her back, squats down and stares into the dark water.
I hunker down beside her. “When we talked on the phone—I promised him.”
She turns her glare on me. “I’m never going home. You know why. I’ll die if my mom finds out Phil and I were fighting before the crash.”
“I won’t tell her anything.” I can’t figure out why Leesie thinks that was such a big deal. “Who cares anyway? You guys always fought. What was it about this time? The radio station?”
She turns pale. “I’m not going home.”
I lean over and catch her lips. “If you want to marry me, you will.”
She moves fast—lies back, jerks me down on top of her. “We can shack up together. I don’t care.” Her legs wrap around me.
I push up off her. “Nope.” I get on my feet and offer her my hand.
She won’t take it, lies there looking up at me. “Then what are we going to do?”
“Go back up to the apartment and disappoint Alex and Gabriel.”