CHAPTER ix
A VICTORY.
As not a moment was now to be lost, Cecilia had no sooner suggestedthis scheme, than she hastened to St James's-Square, to try itspracticability.
She found Mrs Delvile alone, and still at breakfast.
After the first compliments were over, while she was considering inwhat manner to introduce her proposal, Mrs Delvile herself led to thesubject, by saying, "I am very sorry to hear we are so soon to lose you;but I hope Mr Harrel does not intend to make any long stay at his villa;for if he does, I shall be half tempted to come and run away with youfrom him."
"And that," said Cecilia, delighted with this opening, "would be anhonour I am _more_ than half tempted to desire."
"Why indeed your leaving London at this time," continued Mrs Delvile,"is, for me, particularly unfortunate, as, if I could now be favouredwith your visits, I should doubly value them; for Mr Delvile is goneto spend the holidays at the Duke of Derwent's, whither I was not wellenough to accompany him; my son has his own engagements, and thereare so few people I can bear to see, that I shall live almost entirelyalone."
"If I," cried Cecilia, "in such a situation might hope to be admitted,how gladly for that happiness would I exchange my expedition to VioletBank!"
"You are very good, and very amiable," said Mrs Devile, "and yoursociety would, indeed, give me infinite satisfaction. Yet I am no enemyto solitude; on the contrary, company is commonly burthensome to me; Ifind few who have any power to give me entertainment, and even of thosefew, the chief part have in their manners, situation, or characters,an unfortunate something, that generally renders a near connection withthem inconvenient or disagreeable. There are, indeed, so many drawbacksto regard and intimacy, from pride, from propriety, and various othercollateral causes, that rarely as we meet with people of brilliantparts, there is almost ever some objection to our desire of meeting themagain. Yet to live wholly alone is chearless and depressing; and withyou, at least," taking Cecilia's hand, "I find not one single obstacleto oppose to a thousand inducements, which invite me to form afriendship that I can only hope may be as lasting, as I am sure it willbe pleasant."
Cecilia expressed her sense of this partiality in the warmest terms;and Mrs Delvile, soon discovering by her manner that she took not anydelight in her intended visit to Violet Bank, began next to question herwhether it would be possible for her to give it up.
She instantly answered in the affirmative.
"And would you really be so obliging," cried Mrs Delvile, with somesurprise, "as to bestow upon me the time you had destined for this gayexcursion?"
"Most willingly," answered Cecilia, "if you are so good as to wish it."
"But can you also--for you must by no means remain alone in PortmanSquare--manage to live entirely in my house till Mr Harrel's return?"
To this proposal, which was what she most desired, Cecilia gave a gladassent; and Mrs Delvile, extremely pleased with her compliance, promisedto have an apartment prepared for her immediately.
She then hastened home, to announce her new plan.
This she took occasion to do when the family was assembled at dinner.The surprize with which she was heard was very general: Sir Robertseemed at a loss what conclusion to draw from her information; Mr Arnottwas half elated with pleasure, and half depressed with apprehension; MrsHarrel wondered, without any other sensation; and Mr Harrel himself wasevidently the most concerned of the party.
Every effort of persuasion and importunity he now essayed to prevailupon her to give up this scheme, and still accompany them to thevilla; but she coolly answered that her engagement with Mrs Delvile wasdecided, and she had appointed to wait upon her the next morning.
When her resolution was found so steady, a general ill humour took placeof surprise: Sir Robert now had the air of a man who thought himselfaffronted; Mr Arnott was wretched from a thousand uncertainties; MrsHarrel, indeed, was still the most indifferent; but Mr Harrel couldhardly repress his disappointment and anger.
Cecilia, however, was all gaiety and pleasure: in removing only from thehouse of one guardian to another, she knew she could not be opposed;and the flattering readiness with which Mrs Delvile had anticipated herrequest, without enquiring into her motives, had relieved her from asituation which now grew extremely distressing, without giving to herthe pain of making complaints of Mr Harrel. The absence of Mr Delvilecontributed to her happiness, and she much rejoiced in having now theprospect of a speedy opportunity to explain to his son, whatever hadappeared mysterious in her conduct respecting Mr Belfield. If she hadany thing to regret, it was merely the impossibility, at this time, ofwaiting for the counsel of Mr Monckton.
The next morning, while the family was in the midst of preparation fordeparture, she took leave of Mrs Harrel, who faintly lamented the lossof her company, and then hastily made her compliments to Mr Harrel andMr Arnott, and putting herself into a chair, was conveyed to her newhabitation.
Mrs Delvile received her with the most distinguished politeness; sheconducted her to the apartment which had been prepared for her, led herto the library, which she desired her to make use of as her own, andgave her the most obliging charges to remember that she was in a houseof which she had the command.
Young Delvile did not make his appearance till dinner time. Cecilia,from recollecting the strange situations in which she had lately beenseen by him, blushed extremely when she first met his eyes; but findinghim gay and easy, general in his conversation, and undesigning in hislooks, she soon recovered from her embarrassment, and passed the rest ofthe day without restraint or uneasiness.
Every hour she spent with Mrs Delvile, contributed to raise in heresteem the mind and understanding of that lady. She found, indeed, thatit was not for nothing she was accused of pride, but she found at thesame time so many excellent qualities, so much true dignity of mind, andso noble a spirit of liberality, that however great was the respect sheseemed to demand, it was always inferior to what she felt inclined topay.
Nor was young Delvile less rapid in the progress he made in her favour;his character, upon every opportunity of shewing it, rose in heropinion, and his disposition and manners had a mingled sweetness andvivacity that rendered his society attractive, and his conversationspirited.
Here, therefore, Cecilia experienced that happiness she so long hadcoveted in vain: her life was neither public nor private, her amusementswere neither dissipated nor retired; the company she saw were eitherpeople of high rank or strong parts, and their visits were neitherfrequent nor long. The situation she quitted gave a zest to that intowhich she entered, for she was now no longer shocked by extravaganceor levity, no longer tormented with addresses which disgusted her, normortified by the ingratitude of the friend she had endeavoured to serve.All was smooth and serene, yet lively and interesting.
Her plan, however, of clearing to young Delvile his mistakes concerningBelfield, she could not put in execution; for he now never led to thesubject, though he was frequently alone with her, nor seemed at alldesirous to renew his former raillery, or repeat his enquiries. Shewondered at this change in him, but chose rather to wait the revivalof his own curiosity, than to distress or perplex herself by contrivingmethods of explanation.
Situated thus happily, she had now one only anxiety, which was to knowwhether, and in what manner, Mr Belfield had received his surgeon, aswell as the actual state of his own and his sister's affairs: but thefear of again encountering young Delvile in suspicious circumstances,deterred her at present from going to their house. Yet her naturalbenevolence, which partial convenience never lulled to sleep, impressingher with an apprehension that her services might be wanted, she wasinduced to write to Miss Belfield, though she forbore to visit her.
Her letter was short, but kind and to the purpose: she apologized forher officiousness, desiring to know if her brother was better, andentreated her, in terms the most delicate, to acquaint her if yet shewould accept from her any assistance.
She sent this letter by her servant, wh
o, after waiting a considerabletime, brought her the following answer.
_To Miss Beverley_.
Ah madam! your goodness quite melts me! we want nothing, however, yet,though I fear we shall not say so much longer. But though I hope I shallnever forget myself so as to be proud and impertinent, I will ratherstruggle with any hardship than beg, for I will not disoblige my poorbrother by any fault that I can help, especially now he is fallen solow. But, thank heaven, his wound has at last been dressed, for thesurgeon has found him out, and he attends him for nothing; though mybrother is willing to part with every thing he is worth in the world,rather than owe that obligation to him: yet I often wonder why he hatesso to be obliged, for when he was rich himself he was always doingsomething to oblige other people. But I fear the surgeon thinks him verybad! for he won't speak to us when we follow him down stairs.
I am sadly ashamed to send this bad writing, but I dare not ask mybrother for any help, because he would only be angry that I wrote anything about him at all; but indeed I have seen too little good come ofpride to think of imitating it; and as I have not his genius, I am surethere is no need I should have his defects: ill, therefore, as I write,you, madam, who have so much goodness and gentleness, would forgive it,I believe, if it was worse, almost. And though we are not in need ofyour kind offers, it is a great comfort to me to think there is a ladyin the world that, if we come to be quite destitute, and if the proudheart of my poor unhappy brother should be quite broke down, will lookupon our distress with pity, and generously help us from quite sinkingunder it.--I remain, Madam, with the most humble respect, your ever mostobliged humble servant, HENRIETTA BELFIELD.
Cecilia, much moved by the simplicity of this letter, determined thather very first visit from Portman-square should be to its fair andinnocent writer. And having now an assurance that she was in noimmediate distress, and that her brother was actually under Mr Rupil'scare, she dismissed from her mind the only subject of uneasiness that atpresent had endeavoured to disturb it, and gave herself wholly up to thedelightful serenity of [unalloyed] happiness.
Few are the days of felicity unmixed which we acknowledge while weexperience, though many are those we deplore, when by sorrow taughttheir value, and by misfortune, their loss. Time with Cecilia now glidedon with such rapidity, that before she thought the morning half over,the evening was closed, and ere she was sensible the first week waspast, the second was departed for ever. More and more pleased with theinmates of her new habitation, she found in the abilities of Mrs Delvilesources inexhaustible of entertainment, and, in the disposition andsentiments of her son something so concordant to her own, that almostevery word he spoke shewed the sympathy of their minds, and almost everylook which caught her eyes was a reciprocation of intelligence. Herheart, deeply wounded of late by unexpected indifference, and unreservedmortification, was now, perhaps, more than usually susceptible ofthose penetrating and exquisite pleasures which friendship and kindnesspossess the highest powers of bestowing. Easy, gay, and airy, she onlyrose to happiness, and only retired to rest; and not merely heightenedwas her present enjoyment by her past disappointment, but, carrying herretrospection to her earliest remembrance, she still found her actualsituation more peculiarly adapted to her taste and temper, than any shehad hitherto at any time experienced.
The very morning that the destined fortnight was elapsed, she receiveda note from Mrs Harrel, with information of her arrival in town, and anentreaty that she would return to Portman-square.
Cecilia, who, thus happy, had forgot to mark the progress of time, wasnow all amazement to find the term of her absence so soon past. Shethought of going back with the utmost reluctance, and of quittingher new abode with the most lively regret. The representations of MrMonckton daily lost their force, and notwithstanding her dislike ofMr Delvile, she had no wish so earnest as that of being settled in hisfamily for the rest of her minority.
To effect this was her next thought; yet she knew not how to make theproposal, but from the uncommon partiality of Mrs Delvile, she hoped,with a very little encouragement, she would lead to it herself.
Here, however, she was disappointed; Mrs Delvile, when she heard of thesummons from the Harrels, expressed her sorrow at losing her in termsof the most flattering regret, yet seemed to think the partingindispensable, and dropt not the most distant hint of attempting toprevent it.
Cecilia, vexed and disconcerted, then made arrangements for herdeparture, which she fixed for the next morning.
The rest of this day, unlike every other which for the last fortnighthad preceded it, was passed with little appearance, and no reality ofsatisfaction: Mrs Delvile was evidently concerned, her son openly avowedhis chagrin, and Cecilia felt the utmost mortification; yet, thoughevery one was discontented, no effort was made towards obtaining anydelay.
The next morning during breakfast, Mrs Delvile very elegantly thankedher for granting to her so much of her time, and earnestly begged tosee her in future whenever she could be spared from her other friends;protesting she was now so accustomed to her society, that she shouldrequire both long and frequent visits to soften the separation. Thisrequest was very eagerly seconded by young Delvile, who warmly spokehis satisfaction that his mother had found so charming a friend, andunaffectedly joined in her entreaties that the intimacy might be stillmore closely cemented.
Cecilia had no great difficulty in according her compliance to thosedemands, of which the kindness and cordiality somewhat lessened herdisturbance at the parting.
When Mrs Harrel's carriage arrived, Mrs Delvile took a most affectionateleave of her, and her son attended her to the coach.
In her way down stairs, he stopt her for a few moments, and in someconfusion said "I wish much to apologize to Miss Beverley, before herdeparture, for the very gross mistake of which I have been guilty. Iknow not if it is possible she can pardon me, and I hardly know myselfby what perversity and blindness I persisted so long in my error."
"O," cried Cecilia, much rejoiced at this voluntary explanation, "if youare but convinced you were really in an error, I have nothing more towish. Appearances, indeed, were so strangely against me, that I oughtnot, perhaps, to wonder they deceived you."
"This is being candid indeed," answered he, again leading her on: "andin truth, though your anxiety was obvious, its cause was obscure, andwhere any thing is left to conjecture, opinion interferes, and thejudgment is easily warped. My own partiality, however, for Mr Belfield,will I hope plead my excuse, as from that, and not from any prejudiceagainst the Baronet, my mistake arose: on the contrary, so highly Irespect your taste and your discernment, that your approbation, whenknown, can scarcely fail of securing mine."
Great as was the astonishment of Cecilia at the conclusion of thisspeech; she was at the coach door before she could make any answer: butDelvile, perceiving her surprise, added, while he handed her in, "Isit possible--but no, it is _not_ possible I should be again mistaken. Iforbore to speak at all, till I had information by which I could not bemisled."
"I know not in what unaccountable obscurity," cried Cecilia, "I, ormy affairs, may be involved, but I perceive that the cloud which I hadhoped was dissipated, is thicker and more impenetrable than ever."
Delvile then bowed to her with a look that accused her of insincerity,and the carriage drove away.
Teazed by these eternal mistakes, and provoked to find that though theobject of her supposed partiality was so frequently changed, the notionof her positive engagement with one of the duelists was invariable, sheresolved with all the speed in her power, to commission Mr Monckton towait upon Sir Robert Floyer, and in her own name give a formal rejectionto his proposals, and desire him thenceforward to make known, byevery opportunity, their total independence of each other: for sick ofdebating with Mr Harrel, and detesting all intercourse with Sir Robert,she now dropt her design of seeking an explanation herself.
She was received by Mrs Harrel with the same coldness with which she hadparted from her. That lady appeared now to have some uneasiness
upon hermind, and Cecilia endeavoured to draw from her its cause; but far fromseeking any alleviation in friendship, she studiously avoided her,seeming pained by her conversation, and reproached by her sight. Ceciliaperceived this encreasing reserve with much concern, but with moreindignation, conscious that her good offices had merited a betterreception, and angry to find that her advice had not merely failed ofsuccess, but even exposed her to aversion.
Mr Harrel, on the contrary, behaved to her with unusual civility, seemedeager to oblige her, and desirous to render his house more agreeable toher than ever. But in this he did not prosper; for Cecilia, immediatelyupon her return, looking in her apartment for the projected alterations,and finding none had been made, was so disgusted by such a detection ofduplicity, that he sunk yet lower than before in her opinion, and sherepined at the necessity she was under of any longer continuing hisguest.
The joy of Mr Arnott at again seeing her, was visible and sincere; andnot a little was it encreased by finding that Cecilia, who sought notmore to avoid Mr Harrel and Sir Robert, than she was herself avoidedby Mrs Harrel, talked with pleasure to nobody else in the house, andscarcely attempted to conceal that he was the only one of the family whopossessed any portion of her esteem.
Even Sir Robert appeared now to have formed a design of paying herrather more respect than he had hitherto thought necessary; but theviolence he did himself was so evident, and his imperious nature seemedso repugnant to the task, that his insolence, breaking forth by starts,and checked only by compulsion, was but the more conspicuous from hisinadequate efforts to disguise it.
BOOK IV.