CHAPTER i. -- A DEBATE.
It was still early, and Mrs Delvile was not expected till late. Cecilia,therefore, determined to make a visit to Miss Belfield, to whom she hadbeen denied during the late disorders at Mr Harrel's, and whom she couldnot endure to mortify by quitting town without seeing, since whateverwere her doubts about Delvile, of her she had none.
To Portland-street, therefore, she ordered her chair, deliberatingas she went whether it were better to adhere to the reserve shehad hitherto maintained, or to satisfy her perplexity at once by aninvestigation into the truth. And still were these scruples undecided,when, looking in at the windows as she passed them to the door of thehouse, she perceived Miss Belfield standing in the parlour with a letterin her hand, which she was fervently pressing to her lips.
Struck by this sight, a thousand painful conjectures occurred to her,all representing that the letter was from Delvile, and all explainingto his dishonour the mystery of his late conduct. And far were hersuspicions from diminishing, when, upon being shown into the parlour,Miss Belfield, trembling with her eagerness to hide it, hastily forcedthe letter into her pocket.
Cecilia, surprised, dismayed, alarmed, stopt involuntarily at the door;but Miss Belfield, having secured what was so evidently precious to her,advanced, though not without blushing, and taking her hand, said "Howgood this is of you, madam, to come to me! when I did not know where tofind you, and when I was almost afraid I should have found you no more!"
She then told her, that the first news she had heard the precedingmorning, was the violent death of Mr Harrel, which had been related toher, with all its circumstances, by the landlord of their lodgings, whowas himself one of his principal creditors, and had immediately been atPortman-square to put in his claims; where he had learnt that all thefamily had quitted the house, which was entirely occupied by bailiffs."And I was so sorry," she continued, "that you should meet with anyhardships, and not know where to go, and have another home to seek, whenI am sure the commonest beggar would never want an habitation, if youhad one in your power to give him!--But how sad and melancholy you look!I am afraid this bad action of Mr Harrel has made you quite unhappy? Ahmadam! you are too good for this guilty world! your own compassion andbenevolence will not suffer you to rest in it!"
Cecilia, touched by this tender mistake of her present uneasiness,embraced her, and with much kindness, answered, "No, sweet Henrietta! itis you who are good, who are innocent, who are guileless!--you, too, Ihope are happy!"
"And are not you, madam?" cried Henrietta, fondly returning her caress."Oh if you are not, who will ever deserve to be! I think I should ratherbe unhappy myself, than see you so; at least I am sure I ought, for thewhole world may be the better for your welfare, and as to me,--who wouldcare what became of me!"
"Ah Henrietta!" cried Cecilia, "do you speak sincerely? do you indeedthink yourself so little valued?"
"Why I don't say," answered she, "but that I hope there are some whothink a little kindly of me, for if I had not that hope, I should wishto break my heart and die! but what is that to the love and reverence somany have for you?"
"Suppose," said Cecilia, with a forced smile, "I should put your loveand reverence to the proof? do you think they would stand it?"
"O yes, indeed I do! and I have wished a thousand and a thousand timesthat I could but shew you my affection, and let you see that I did notlove you because you were a great lady, and high in the world, and fullof power to do me service, but because you were so good and so kind, sogentle to the unfortunate, and so sweet to every body!"
"Hold, hold," cried Cecilia, "and let me try if indeed, fairly andtruly, you will answer what I mean to ask."
"O yes," cried she warmly, "if it is the dearest secret I have in theworld! there is nothing I will not tell you; I will open my whole heartto you, and I shall be proud to think you will let me trust you, for Iam sure if you did not care a little for me, you would not take such atrouble."
"You are indeed a sweet creature!" said Cecilia, hesitating whether ornot to take advantage of her frankness, "and every time I see you, Ilove you better. For the world would I not injure you,--and perhaps yourconfidence--I know not, indeed, if it is fair or right to exact it--"she stopt, extremely perplext, and while Henrietta waited her furtherenquiries, they were interrupted by the entrance of Mrs Belfield.
"Sure, Child," cried she, to her daughter, "you might have let me knowbefore now who was here, when you knew so well how much I wished anopportunity to see the young lady myself; but here you come down uponpretence to see your brother, and then stay away all the morning, doingnobody knows what." Then, turning to Cecilia, "Ma'am," she continued, "Ihave been in the greatest concern in the world for the little accidentthat happened when I saw you before; for to be sure I thought, andindeed nobody will persuade me to the contrary, that it was rather anodd thing for such a young lady as you to come so often after Henny,without so much as thinking of any other reason; especially when, to besure, there's no more comparison between her and my son, than betweenanything in the world; however, if it is so, it is so, and I mean to sayno more about it, and to be sure he's as contented to think so as if hewas as mere an insignificant animal as could be."
"This matter, madam," said Cecilia, "has so long been settled, that I amsorry you should trouble yourself to think of it again."
"O, ma'am, I only mention it by the way of making the proper apology,for as to taking any other notice of it, I have quite left it off;though to be sure what I think I think; but as to my son, he has so gotthe upper hand of me, that it all goes for nothing, and I might justas well sing to him. Not that I mean to find fault with him neither; sopray, ma'am, don't let what I say be to his prejudice, for I believe allthe time, there's nobody like him, neither at this end of the town northe other; for as to the other, he has more the look of a lord, byhalf, than of a shopman, and the reason's plain, for that's the sort ofcompany he's always kept, as I daresay a lady such as you must have seenlong ago. But for all that, there's some little matters that we mothersfancy we can see into as well as our children; however, if they don'tthink so, why it answers no purpose to dispute; for as to a better son,to be sure there never was one, and that, as I always say, is the bestsign I know for making a good husband."
During this discourse, Henrietta was in the utmost confusion, dreadinglest the grossness of her mother should again send off Cecilia in anger;but Cecilia, who perceived her uneasiness, and who was more charmedwith her character than ever, from the simplicity of her sincerity,determined to save her that pain, by quietly hearing her harangue, andthen quietly departing; though she was much provoked to find from thecomplaining hints every instant thrown out, that Mrs Belfield wasstill internally convinced her son's obstinate bashfulness was the onlyobstacle to his chusing whom he pleased; and that though she no longerdared speak her opinion with openness, she was fully persuaded Ceciliawas at his service.
"And for that reason," continued Mrs Belfield, "to be sure any lady thatknew her own true advantage, could do nothing better than to take therecommendation of a mother, who must naturally know more of her ownchildren's disposition than can be expected from a stranger; and as tosuch a son as mine, perhaps there a'n't two such in the world, for he'shad a gentleman's education, and turn him which way he will, he'll seenever a handsomer person than his own; though, poor dear love, he wasalways of the thinnest. But the misfortunes he's had to struggle withwould make nobody fatter."
Here she was interrupted, and Cecilia not a little surprised, by theentrance of Mr Hobson and Mr Simkins.
"Ladies," cried Mr Hobson, whom she soon found was Mrs Belfield'slandlord; "I would not go up stairs without just stopping to let youknow a little how the world goes."
Then perceiving and recollecting Cecilia, he exclaimed "I am proud tosee you again, ma'am,--Miss, I believe I should say, for I take it youare too young a lady to be entered into matrimony yet."
"Matrimony?" cried Mr Simkins, "no, to be sure, Mr Hobson, how can yoube so out of the
way? the young lady looks more like to a Miss from aboarding-school, if I might take the liberty for to say so."
"Ay, more's the pity," cried Mrs Belfield, "for as to young ladieswaiting and waiting, I don't see the great good of it; especially if aproper match offers; for as to a good husband, I think no lady shouldbe above accepting him, if he's modest and well-behaved, and has beenbrought up with a genteel education."
"Why as to that, ma'am," said Mr Simkins, "it's another guess matter,for as to the lady's having a proper spouse, if I may be so free, Ithink as it's no bad thing."
Cecilia now, taking Henrietta's hand, was wishing her good morning;but hearing Mr Hobson say he was just come from Portman-square, hercuriosity was excited, and she stayed a little longer.
"Sad work, ma'am," said he; "who'd have thought Mr Harrel asked us allto supper for the mere purpose of such a thing as that! just to servefor a blind, as one may say. But when a man's conscience is foul, whatI say is it's ten to one but he makes away with himself. Let every mankeep clear of the world, that's my notion, and then he will be in nosuch hurry to get out of it."
"Why indeed, ma'am," said Mr Simkins, advancing with many bows toCecilia, "humbly craving pardon for the liberty, I can't pretend for tosay I think Mr Harrel did quite the honourable thing by us; for as tohis making us drink all that champagne, and the like, it was a sheertake in, so that if I was to speak my mind, I can't say as I esteem itmuch of a favour."
"Well," said Mrs Belfield, "nothing's to me so surprising as a person'sbeing his own executioner, for as to me, if I was to die for it fiftytimes, I don't think I could do it."
"So here," resumed Mr Hobson, "we're all defrauded of our dues! nobody'sable to get his own, let him have worked for it ever so hard. Sad doingsin the square, Miss! all at sixes and sevens; for my part I came offfrom Vauxhall as soon as the thing had happened, hoping to get thestart of the others, or else I should have been proud to wait upon you,ladies, with the particulars; but a man of business never standsupon ceremony, for when money's at stake, that's out of the question.However, I was too late, for the house was seized before ever I couldget nigh it."
"I hope, ma'am, if I may be so free," said Mr Simkins, again profoundlybowing, "that you and the other lady did not take it much amiss my notcoming back to you, for it was not out of no disrespect, but only I gotso squeezed in by the ladies and gentlemen that was looking on, that Icould not make my way out, do what I could. But by what I see, I mustneeds say if one's never in such genteel company, people are alwaysrather of the rudest when one's in a crowd, for if one begs and praysnever so, there's no making 'em conformable."
"Pray," said Cecilia, "is it likely any thing will remain for MrsHarrel?"
"Remain, ma'am?" repeated Mr Hobson, "Yes, a matter of a hundred billswithout a receipt to 'em! To be sure, ma'am, I don't want to affrontyou, that was his intimate acquaintance, more especially as you'vedone nothing disrespectful by me, which is more than I can say forMrs Harrel, who seemed downright ashamed of me, and of Mr Simkins too,though all things considered, it would have been as well for her not tohave been quite so high. But of that in its proper season!"
"Fie, Mr Hobson fie," cried the supple Mr Simkins, "how can you beso hard? for my share, I must needs own I think the poor lady's to bepitied; for it must have been but a melancholy sight to her, to see herspouse cut off so in the flower of his youth, as one may say; and youought to scorn to take exceptions at a lady's proudness when she's in somuch trouble. To be sure, I can't say myself as she was over-complaisantto make us welcome; but I hope I am above being so unpitiful as for toowe her a grudge for it now she's so down in the mouth."
"Let everybody be civil!" cried Mr Hobson, "that's my notion; and then Ishall be as much above being unpitiful as anybody else."
"Mrs Harrel," said Cecilia, "was then too unhappy, and is now, surely,too unfortunate, to make it possible any resentment should be harbouredagainst her."
"You speak, ma'am, like a lady of sense," returned Mr Hobson, "and,indeed, that's the character I hear of you; but for all that, ma'am,every body's willing to stand up for their own friends, for whichreason, ma'am, to be sure you'll be making the best of it, both for theRelict, and the late gentleman himself; but, ma'am, if I was to makebold to speak my mind in a fair manner, what I should say would be this;a man here to go shooting himself with all his debts unpaid, is a merepiece of scandal, ma'am! I beg pardon, but what I say is, the truth'sthe truth, and I can't call it by no other nomination."
Cecilia now, finding she had not any chance of pacifying him, rang forher servant and chair.
Mr Simkins then, affecting to lower his voice, said reproachfully to hisfriend "Indeed, Mr Hobson, to speak ingenusly, I must needs say I don'tthink it over and above pelite in you to be so hard upon the younglady's acquaintance that was, now he's defunct. To be sure I can'tpretend for to deny but he behaved rather comical; for not paying ofnobody, nor so much as making one a little compliment, or the like,though he made no bones of taking all one's goods, and always chused tohave the prime of every thing, why it's what I can't pretend to standup for. But that's neither here nor there, for if he had behaved as badagain, poor Miss could not tell how to help it; and I dares to say shehad no more hand in it than nobody at all."
"No, to be sure," cried Mrs Belfield, "what should she have to dowith it? Do you suppose a young lady of her fortune would want to takeadvantage of a person in trade? I am sure it would be both a shame anda sin if she did, for if she has not money enough, I wonder who has. Andfor my part, I think when a young lady has such a fine fortune as that,the only thing she has to do, is to be thinking of making a good useof it, by dividing it, as one may say, with a good husband. For asto keeping it all for herself, I dare say she's a lady of too muchgenerosity; and as to only marrying somebody that's got as much of hisown, why it is not half so much a favour; and if the young lady wouldtake my advice, she'd marry for love, for as to lucre, she's enough inall conscience."
"As to all that," said Mr Hobson, "it makes no alteration in myargument; I am speaking to the purpose, and not for the matter ofcomplaisance; and therefore I'm bold to say Mr Harrel's action hadnothing of the gentleman in it. A man has a right to his own life,you'll tell me; but what of that? that's no argument at all, for it doesnot give him a bit the more right to my property; and a man's running indebt, and spending other people's substances, for no reason in the worldbut just because he can blow out his own brains when he's done,--thoughit's a thing neither lawful nor religious to do,--why it's acting quiteout of character, and a great hardship to trade into the bargain."
"I heartily wish it had been otherwise," said Cecilia; "but I stillhope, if any thing can be done for Mrs Harrel, you will not object tosuch a proposal."
"Ma'am, as I said before," returned Mr Hobson, "I see you're a lady ofsense, and for that I honour you; but as to any thing being done, it'swhat I call a distinct thing. What's mine is mine, and what's anotherman's is his; that's my way of arguing; but then if he takes what'smine, where's the law to hinder my taking what's his? This is what Icall talking to the purpose. Now as to a man's cutting his throat,or the like of that, for blowing out his own brains may be called theself-same thing, what are his creditors the better for that? nothingat all, but so much the worse it's a false notion to respect it, forthere's no respect in it; it's contrary to law, and a prejudice againstreligion."
"I agree entirely in your opinion," said Cecilia, "but still MrsHarrel"--
"I know your argument, ma'am," interrupted Mr Hobson; "Mrs Harrel i'n'tthe worse for her husband's being shot through the head, because shewas no accessory to the same, and for that reason, it's a hardship sheshould lose all her substance; this, ma'am, is what I say, speaking toyour side of the argument. But now, ma'am, please to take notice what Iargue upon the reply; what have we creditors to do with a man's family?Suppose I am a cabinet-maker? When I send in my chairs, do I ask who isto sit upon them? No; it's all one to me whether it's the gentleman'sprogeny or his friends, I must be
paid for the chairs the same, use themwho may. That's the law, ma'am, and no man need be ashamed to abide byit."
The truth of this speech palliating its sententious absurdity, madeCecilia give up her faint attempt to soften him; and her chair beingready, she arose to take leave.
"Lack-a-day, ma'am," cried Mrs Belfield, "I hope you won't go yet, for Iexpect my son home soon, and I've a heap of things to talk to you aboutbesides, only Mr Hobson having so much to say stopt my mouth. ButI should take it as a great favour, ma'am, if you would come someafternoon and drink a dish of tea with me, for then we should have timeto say all our say. And I'm sure, ma'am, if you would only let one ofyour footmen just take a run to let me know when you'd come, my sonwould be very proud to give you the meeting; and the servants can't havemuch else to do at your house, for where there's such a heap of 'em,they commonly think of nothing all day long but standing and gaping atone another."
"I am going out of town to-morrow," said Cecilia, "and therefore cannothave the pleasure of calling upon Miss Belfield again."
She then slightly courtsied, and left the room.
The gentle Henrietta, her eyes swimming in tears, followed her to herchair; but she followed her not alone, Mrs Belfield also attended,repining very loudly at the unlucky absence of her son; and the cringingMr Simkins, creeping after her and bowing, said in a low voice, "Ihumbly crave pardon, ma'am, for the liberty, but I hope you won't thinkas I have any share in Mr Hobson's behaving so rude, for I must needssay, I don't think it over genteel in no shape." And Mr Hobson himself,bent upon having one more sentence heard, called out, even after shewas seated in her chair, "All I say, ma'am, is this; let every man behonest; that's what I argue, and that's my notion of things."
Cecilia still reached home before Mrs Delvile; but most uneasy were hersensations, and most unquiet was her heart; the letter she had seen inthe hands of Henrietta seemed to corroborate all her former suspicions,since if it came not from one infinitely dear to her she would nothave shewn such fondness for it, and if that one was not dear to her insecret, she would not have concealed it.
Where then was the hope that any but Delvile could have written it? insecret she could not cherish two, and that Delvile was cherished mostfondly, the artlessness of her character unfitted her for disguising.
And why should he write to her? what was his pretence? That he loved hershe could now less than ever believe, since his late conduct to herself,though perplexing and inconsistent, evinced at least a partialityincompatible with a passion for another. What then, could she infer, butthat he had seduced her affections, and ruined her peace, for the idleand cruel gratification of temporary vanity?
"And if such," cried she, "is the depravity of this accomplishedhypocrite, if such is the littleness of soul that a manner so nobledisguises, shall be next, urged, perhaps, rather by prudence thanpreference, make me the object of his pursuit, and the food of hisvain-glory? And shall I, warned and instructed as I am, be as easy aprey and as wretched a dupe? No, I will be better satisfied with hisconduct, before I venture to trust him, and since I am richer thanHenrietta and less likely to be deserted, when won, I will be more on myguard to know why I am addressed, and vindicate the rights of innocence,if I find she has been thus deluded, by forgetting his talents in histreachery, and renouncing him for ever!"
Such were the reflections and surmises that dampt all the long-soughtpleasure of her change of residence, and made her habitation in StJames's-square no happier than it had been at Mr Harrel's!
She dined again with only Mr and Mrs Delvile, and did not see their sonall day; which, in her present uncertainty what to think of him, was anabsence she scarcely regretted.
When the servants retired, Mr Delvile told her that he had that morningreceived two visits upon her account, both from admirers, who eachpretended to having had leave to wait upon her from Mr Harrel.
He then named Sir Robert Floyer and Mr Marriot.
"I believe, indeed," said Cecilia, "that neither of them were treatedperfectly well; to me, however, their own behaviour has by no meansbeen strictly honourable. I have always, when referred to, been veryexplicit; and what other methods they were pleased to take, I cannotwonder should fail."
"I told them," said Mr Delvile, "that, since you were now under my roof,I could not refuse to receive their proposals, especially as there wouldbe no impropriety in your alliance with either of them but I told them,at the same time, that I could by no means think of pressing their suit,as that was an office which, however well it might do for Mr Harrel,would be totally improper and unbecoming for me."
"Certainly;" said Cecilia, "and permit me, Sir, to entreat that, shouldthey again apply to you, they may be wholly discouraged from repeatingtheir visits, and assured that far from having trifled with themhitherto, the resolutions I have declared will never be varied."
"I am happy," said Mrs Delvile, "to see so much spirit and discernmentwhere arts of all sorts will be practised to ensnare and delude. Fortuneand independence were never so securely lodged as in Miss Beverley, andI doubt not but her choice, whenever it is decided, will reflect asmuch honour upon her heart, as her difficulty in making it does upon herunderstanding."
Mr Delvile then enquired whether she had fixed upon any person to chooseas a guardian in the place of Mr Harrel. No, she said, nor should she,unless it were absolutely necessary.
"I believe, indeed," said Mrs Delvile, "your affairs will not muchmiss him! Since I have heard of the excess of his extravagance, I haveextremely rejoiced in the uncommon prudence and sagacity of his fairward, who, in such dangerous hands, with less penetration and soundsense, might have been drawn into a thousand difficulties, and perhapsdefrauded of half her fortune."
Cecilia received but little joy from this most unseasonable compliment,which, with many of the same sort that were frequently, thoughaccidentally made, intimidated her from the confession she had plannedand finding nothing but censure was likely to follow the discovery, sheat length determined to give it up wholly, unless any connection shouldtake place which might render necessary its avowal. Yet something shecould not but murmur, that an action so detrimental to her own interest,and which, at the time, appeared indispensable to her benevolence,should now be considered as a mark of such folly and imprudence that shedid not dare own it.