CHAPTER vi.
A CONTEST.
The rest of the day was passed in discussing this adventure; but in theevening, Cecilia's interest in it was all sunk, by the reception of thefollowing letter from Mrs Delvile.
_To Miss Beverley_.
I grieve to interrupt the tranquillity of a retirement so judiciouslychosen, and I lament the necessity of again calling to trial the virtueof which the exertion, though so captivating, is so painful; but alas,my excellent young friend, we came not hither to enjoy, but to suffer;and happy only are those whose sufferings have neither by follybeen sought, nor by guilt been merited, but arising merely from theimperfection of humanity, have been resisted with fortitude, or enduredwith patience.
I am informed of your virtuous steadiness, which corresponds with myexpectations, while it excites my respect. All further conflict I hadhoped to have saved you; and to the triumph of your goodness I hadtrusted for the recovery of your peace: but Mortimer has disappointedme, and our work is still unfinished.
He avers that he is solemnly engaged to you, and in pleading to me hishonour, he silences both expostulation and authority. From your ownwords alone will he acknowledge his dismission; and notwithstanding myreluctance to impose upon you this task, I cannot silence or quiet himwithout making the request.
For a purpose such as this, can you, then, admit us? Can you bear withyour own lips to confirm the irrevocable decision? You will feel, I amsure, for the unfortunate Mortimer, and it was earnestly my desire tospare you the sight of his affliction; yet such is my confidence in yourprudence, that since I find him bent upon seeing you, I am not withouthope, that from witnessing the greatness of your mind, the interview mayrather calm than inflame him.
This proposal you will take into consideration, and if you are able,upon such terms, to again meet my son, we will wait upon you together,where and when you will appoint; but if the gentleness of your naturewill make the effort too severe for you, scruple not to decline it, forMortimer, when he knows your pleasure, will submit to it as he ought.
Adieu, most amiable and but too lovely Cecilia; whatever you determine,be sure of my concurrence, for nobly have you earned, and ever must youretain, the esteem, the affection, and the gratitude of AUGUSTA DELVILE.
"Alas," cried Cecilia, "when shall I be at rest? when cease to bepersecuted by new conflicts! Oh why must I so often, so cruelly, thoughso reluctantly, reject and reprove the man who of all men I wish toaccept and to please!"
But yet, though repining at this hard necessity, she hesitated not amoment in complying with Mrs Delvile's request, and immediately sent ananswer that she would meet her the next morning at Mrs Charlton's.
She then returned to the parlour, and apologized to Mrs Harrel andMr Arnott for the abruptness of her visit, and the suddenness of herdeparture. Mr Arnott heard her in silent dejection; and Mrs Harrelused all the persuasion in her power to prevail with her to stay, herpresence being some relief to her solitude: but finding it ineffectual,she earnestly pressed her to hasten her entrance into her own house,that their absence might be shortened, and their meeting more sprightly.
Cecilia passed the night in planning her behaviour for the next day;she found how much was expected from her by Mrs Delvile, who had evenexhorted her to decline the interview if doubtful of her own strength.Delvile's firmness in insisting the refusal should come directlyfrom herself, surprised, gratified and perplexed her in turn; she hadimagined, that from the moment of the discovery, he would implicitlyhave submitted to the award of a parent at once so reverenced and sobeloved, and how he had summoned courage to contend with her she couldnot conjecture: yet that courage and that contention astonished notmore than they soothed her, since, from her knowledge of his filialtenderness, she considered them as the most indubitable proofs she hadyet received of the fervour and constancy of his regard for her. Butwould he, when she had ratified the decision of his mother, forbear allfurther struggle, and for ever yield up all pretensions to her? this wasthe point upon which her uncertainty turned, and the ruling subject ofher thoughts and meditation.
To be steady, however, herself, be his conduct what it might, wasinvariably her intention, and was all her ambition: yet earnestly shewished the meeting over, for she dreaded to see the sorrow of Delvile,and she dreaded still more the susceptibility of her own heart.
The next morning, to her great concern, Mr Arnott was waiting in thehall when she came down stairs, and so much grieved at her departure,that he handed her to the chaise without being able to speak to her, andhardly heard her thanks and compliments but by recollection after shewas gone.
She arrived at Mrs Charlton's very early, and found her old friend inthe same state she had left her. She communicated to her the purpose ofher return, and begged she would keep her granddaughters up stairs, thatthe conference in the parlour might be uninterrupted and unheard.
She then made a forced and hasty breakfast, and went down to be readyto receive them. They came not till eleven o'clock, and the time of herwaiting was passed in agonies of expectation.
At length they were announced, and at length they entered the room.
Cecilia, with her utmost efforts for courage, could hardly stand toreceive them. They came in together, but Mrs Delvile, advancing beforeher son, and endeavouring so to stand as to intercept his view of her,with the hope that in a few instants her emotion would be less visible,said, in the most soothing accents, "What honour Miss Beverley does usby permitting this visit! I should have been sorry to have left Suffolkwithout the satisfaction of again seeing you; and my son, sensible ofthe high respect he owes you, was most unwilling to be gone, before hehad paid you his devoirs."
Cecilia courtsied; but depressed by the cruel task which awaited her,had no power to speak; and Mrs Delvile, finding she still trembled, madeher sit down, and drew a chair next to her.
Mean while Delvile, with an emotion far more violent, because whollyunrestrained, waited impatiently till the ceremonial of the receptionwas over, and then, approaching Cecilia, in a voice of perturbation andresentment, said, "In this presence, at least, I hope I may be heard;though my letters have been unanswered, my visits refused, thoughinexorably you have flown me--"
"Mortimer," interrupted Mrs Delvile, "forget not that what I have toldyou is irrevocable; you now meet Miss Beverley for no other purpose thanto give and to receive a mutual release of all to or engagement witheach other."
"Pardon me, madam," cried he, "this is a condition to which I have neverassented. I come not to release, but to claim her! I am hers, and herswholly! I protest it in the face of the world! The time, therefore, isnow past for the sacrifice which you demand, since scarce are you moremy mother, than I consider her as my wife."
Cecilia, amazed at this dauntless declaration, now almost lost her fearin her surprise; while Mrs Delvile, with an air calm though displeased,answered, "This is not a point to be at present discussed, and I hadhoped you knew better what was due to your auditors. I only consented tothis interview as a mark of your respect for Miss Beverley, to whom inpropriety it belongs to break off this unfortunate connexion."
Cecilia, who at this call could no longer be silent, now gatheredfortitude to say, "Whatever tie or obligation may be supposed to dependupon me, I have already relinquished; and I am now ready to declare--"
"That you wholly give me up?" interrupted Delvile, "is that what youwould say?--Oh how have I offended you? how have I merited a displeasurethat can draw upon me such a sentence?--Answer, speak to me, Cecilia,what is it I have done?"
"Nothing, Sir," said Cecilia, confounded at this language in thepresence of his mother, "you have done nothing,--but yet--"
"Yet what?--have you conceived to me an aversion? has any dreadful andhorrible antipathy succeeded to your esteem?--tell, tell me withoutdisguise, do you hate, do you abhor me?"
Cecilia sighed, and turned away her head; and Mrs Delvile indignantlyexclaimed, "What madness and absurdity! I scarce know you under theinfluence of such irrational viole
nce. Why will you interrupt MissBeverley in the only speech you ought to hear from her? Why, at once,oppress her, and irritate me, by words of more passion than reason?Go on, charming girl, finish what so wisely, so judiciously youwere beginning, and then you shall be released from this turbulentpersecution."
"No, madam, she must not go on!" cried Delvile, "if she does not utterlyabhor me, I will not suffer her to go on;--Pardon, pardon me, Cecilia,but your too exquisite delicacy is betraying not only my happiness, butyour own. Once more, therefore, I conjure you to hear me, and then if,deliberately and unbiassed, you renounce me, I will never more distressyou by resisting your decree."
Cecilia, abashed and changing colour, was silent, and he proceeded.
"All that has past between us, the vows I have offered you of faith,constancy and affection, the consent I obtained from you to be legallymine, the bond of settlement I have had drawn up, and the high honouryou conferred upon me in suffering me to lead you to the altar,--allthese particulars are already known to so many, that the leastreflection must convince you they will soon be concealed from none: tellme, then, if your own fame pleads not for me, and if the scruples whichlead you to refuse, by taking another direction, will not, with muchmore propriety, urge, nay enjoin you to accept me!--You hesitate atleast,--O Miss Beverley!--I see in that hesitation--"
"Nothing, nothing!" cried she, hastily, and checking her risingirresolution; "there is nothing for you to see, but that every way I nowturn I have rendered myself miserable!"
"Mortimer," said Mrs Delvile, seized with terror as she penetrated intothe mental yielding of Cecilia, "you have now spoken to Miss Beverley;and unwilling as I am to obtrude upon her our difference of sentiment,it is necessary, since she has heard you, that I, also, should claim herattention."
"First let her speak!" cried Delvile, who in her apparent wavering builtnew hopes, "first let her answer what she has already deigned to listento."
"No, first let her hear!" cried Mrs Delvile, "for so only can she judgewhat answer will reflect upon her most honour."
Then, solemnly turning to Cecilia, she continued: "You see here, MissBeverley, a young man who passionately adores you, and who forgets inhis adoration friends, family, and connections, the opinions in whichhe has been educated, the honour of his house, his own former views,and all his primitive sense of duty, both public and private!--A passionbuilt on such a defalcation of principle renders him unworthy youracceptance; and not more ignoble for him would be a union which wouldblot his name from the injured stock whence he sprung, than indelicatefor you, who upon such terms ought to despise him."
"Heavens, madam," exclaimed Delvile, "what a speech!"
"O never," cried Cecilia, rising, "may I hear such another! Indeed,madam, there is no occasion to probe me so deeply, for I would not nowenter your family, for all that the whole world could offer me!"
"At length, then, madam," cried Delvile, turning reproachfully to hismother, "are you satisfied? is your purpose now answered? and is thedagger you have transfixed in my heart sunk deep enough to appease you?"
"O could I draw it out," cried Mrs Delvile, "and leave upon it no stainof ignominy, with what joy should my own bosom receive it, to heal thewound I have most compulsatorily inflicted!--Were this excellent youngcreature portionless, I would not hesitate in giving my consent; everyclaim of interest would be overbalanced by her virtues, and I would notgrieve to see you poor, where so conscious you were happy; but here toconcede, would annihilate every hope with which hitherto I have lookedup to my son."
"Let us now, then, madam," said Cecilia, "break up this conference. Ihave spoken, I have heard, the decree is past, and therefore,"--
"You are indeed an angel!" cried Mrs Delvile, rising and embracing her;"and never can I reproach my son with what has passed, when I considerfor what an object the sacrifice was planned. _You_ cannot be unhappy,you have purchased peace by the exercise of virtue, and the close ofevery day will bring to you a reward, in the sweets of a self-approvingmind.--But we will part, since you think it right; I do wrong tooccasion any delay."
"No, we will _not_ part!" cried Delvile, with encreasing vehemence; "ifyou force me, madam, from her, you will drive me to distraction! What isthere in this world that can offer me a recompense? And what can prideeven to the proudest afford as an equivalent? Her perfections youacknowledge, her greatness of mind is like your own; she has generouslygiven me her heart,--Oh sacred and fascinating charge! Shall I, aftersuch a deposite, consent to an eternal separation? Repeal, repeal yoursentence, my Cecilia! let us live to ourselves and our consciences, andleave the vain prejudices of the world to those who can be paid by themfor the loss of all besides!"
"Is this conflict, then," said Mrs Delvile, "to last for-ever? Ohend it, Mortimer, finish it, and make me happy! she is just, and willforgive you, she is noble-minded, and will honour you. Fly, then, atthis critical moment, for in flight alone is your safety; and then willyour father see the son of his hopes, and then shall the fond blessingsof your idolizing mother soothe all your affliction, and soften all yourregret!"
"Oh madam!" cried Delvile, "for mercy, for humanity, forbear this cruelsupplication!"
"Nay, more than supplication, you have my commands; commands you havenever yet disputed, and misery, ten-fold misery, will follow theirdisobedience. Hear me, Mortimer, for I speak prophetically; I know yourheart, I know it to be formed for rectitude and duty, or destined bytheir neglect to repentance and horror."
Delvile, struck by these words, turned suddenly from them both, andin gloomy despondence walked to the other end of the room. Mrs Delvileperceived the moment of her power, and determined to pursue the blow:taking, therefore, the hand of Cecilia, while her eyes sparkled with theanimation of reviving hope, "See," she cried, pointing to her son, "seeif I am deceived! can he bear even the suggestion of future contrition!Think you when it falls upon him, he will support it better? No; hewill sink under it. And you, pure as you are of mind, and steadfast inprinciple, what would your chance be of happiness with a man who nevererring till he knew you, could never look at you without regret, be hisfondness what it might?"
"Oh madam," cried the greatly shocked Cecilia, "let him, then, see me nomore!--take, take him all to yourself! forgive, console him! I will nothave the misery of involving him in repentance, nor of incurring thereproaches of the mother he so much reverences!"
"Exalted creature!" cried Mrs Delvile; "tenderness such as this wouldconfer honour upon a monarch." Then, calling out exultingly to herson, "See," she added, "how great a woman can act, when stimulated bygenerosity, and a just sense of duty! Follow then, at least, the exampleyou ought to have led, and deserve my esteem and love, or be content toforego them."
"And can I only deserve them," said Delvile, in a tone of the deepestanguish, "by a compliance to which not merely my happiness, butmy reason must be sacrificed? What honour do I injure that is notfactitious? What evil threatens our union, that is not imaginary? Inthe general commerce of the world it may be right to yield to itsprejudices, but in matters of serious importance, it is weakness to beshackled by scruples so frivolous, and it is cowardly to be governed bythe customs we condemn. Religion and the laws of our country should thenalone be consulted, and where those are neither opposed nor infringed,we should hold ourselves superior to all other considerations."
"Mistaken notions!" said Mrs Delvile; "and how long do you flatteryourself this independent happiness would endure? How long could youlive contented by mere self-gratification, in defiance of the censureof mankind, the renunciation of your family, and the curses of yourfather?"
"The curses of my father!" repeated he, starting and shuddering, "O no,he could never be so barbarous!"
"He could," said she, steadily, "nor do I doubt but he would. If now,however, you are affected by the prospect of his disclaiming you, thinkbut what you will feel when first forbid to appear before either of us!and think of your remorse for involving Miss Beverley in such disgrace!"
"O speak not suc
h words!" cried he, with agonizing earnestness, "todisgrace her,--to be banished by you,--present not, I conjure you, suchscenes to my imagination!"
"Yet would they be unavoidable," continued she; "nor have I said to youall; blinded as you now are by passion, your nobler feelings are onlyobscured, not extirpated; think, then, how they will all rise in revengeof your insulted dignity, when your name becomes a stranger to yourears, and you are first saluted by one so meanly adopted!--"
"Hold, hold, madam," interrupted he, "this is more than I can bear!"
"Heavens!" still continued she, disregarding his entreaty, "what in theuniverse can pay you for that first moment of indignity! Think of itwell ere you proceed, and anticipate your sensations, lest the shockshould wholly overcome you. How will the blood of your wronged ancestorsrise into your guilty cheeks, and how will your heart throb with secretshame and reproach, when wished joy upon your marriage by the name of_Mr Beverley_!"
Delvile, stung to the soul, attempted not any answer, but walked aboutthe room in the utmost disorder of mind. Cecilia would have retired,but feared irritating him to some extravagance; and Mrs Delvile, lookingafter him, added "For myself, I would still see, for I should pityyour wife,--but NEVER would I behold my son when sunk into an object ofcompassion!"
"It shall not be!" cried he, in a transport of rage; "cease, cease todistract me!--be content, madam,--you have conquered!"
"Then you are my son!" cried she, rapturously embracing him; "now I knowagain my Mortimer! now I see the fair promise of his upright youth, andthe flattering completion of my maternal expectations!"
Cecilia, finding all thus concluded, desired nothing so much as tocongratulate them on their reconciliation; but having only said "Let_me_, too,--" her voice failed her, she stopt short, and hoping she hadbeen unheard, would have glided out of the room.
But Delvile, penetrated and tortured, yet delighted at this sensibility,broke from his mother, and seizing her hand, exclaimed, "Oh MissBeverley, if _you_ are not happy---"
"I am! I am!" cried she, with quickness; "let me pass,--and think nomore of me."
"That voice,--those looks,--" cried he, still holding her, "they speaknot serenity!--Oh if I have injured your peace,--if that heart, which,pure as angels, deserves to be as sacred from sorrow, through my means,or for my sake, suffers any diminution of tranquility--"
"None, none!" interrupted she, with precipitation.
"I know well," cried he, "your greatness of soul; and if this dreadfulsacrifice gives lasting torture only to myself,--if of _your_ returninghappiness I could be assured,--I would struggle to bear it."
"You _may_, be assured of it," cried she, with reviving dignity, "I haveno right to expect escaping all calamity, but while I share the commonlot, I will submit to it without repining."
"Heaven then bless, and hovering angels watch you!" cried he, andletting go her hand, he ran hastily out of the room.
"Oh Virtue, how bright is thy triumph!" exclaimed Mrs Delvile, flyingup to Cecilia, and folding her in her arms; "Noble, incomparable youngcreature! I knew not that so much worth was compatible with humanfrailty!"
But the heroism of Cecilia, in losing its object, lost its force; shesighed, she could not speak, tears gushed into her eyes, and kissing MrsDelvile's hand with a look that shewed her inability to converse withher, she hastened, though scarce able to support herself, away, withintention to shut herself up in her own apartment: and Mrs Delvile,who perceived that her utmost fortitude was exhausted, opposed not hergoing, and wisely forbore to encrease her emotion, by following her evenwith her blessings.
But when she came into the hall, she started, and could proceed nofurther; for there she beheld Delvile, who in too great agony to beseen, had stopt to recover some composure before he quitted the house.
At the first sound of an opening door, he was hastily escaping; butperceiving Cecilia, and discerning her situation, he more hastily turnedback, saying, "Is it possible?--To _me_ were you coming?"
She shook her head, and made a motion with her hand to say no, and wouldthen have gone on.
"You are weeping!" cried he, "you are pale!--Oh Miss Beverley! is thisyour happiness!"
"I am very well,--" cried she, not knowing what she answered, "I amquite well,--pray go,--I am very--" her words died away inarticulated.
"O what a voice is that!" exclaimed he, "it pierces my very soul!"
Mrs Delvile now came to the parlour door, and looked aghast at thesituation in which she saw them: Cecilia again moved on, and reached thestairs, but tottered, and was obliged to cling to the banisters.
"O suffer me to support you," cried he; "you are not able tostand,--whither is it you would go?"
"Any where,--I don't know,--" answered she, in faltering accents, "butif you would leave me, I should be well."
And, turning from him, she walked again towards the parlour, finding byher shaking frame, the impossibility of getting unaided up the stairs.
"Give me your hand, my love," said Mrs Delvile, cruelly alarmed by thisreturn; and the moment they re-entered the parlour, she said impatientlyto her son, "Mortimer, why are you not gone?"
He heard her not, however; his whole attention was upon Cecilia, who,sinking into a chair, hid her face against Mrs Delvile: but, reviving ina few moments, and blushing at the weakness she had betrayed, she raisedher head, and, with an assumed serenity, said, "I am better,--muchbetter,--I was rather sick,--but it is over; and now, if you will excuseme, I will go to my own room."
She then arose, but her knees trembled, and her head was giddy, andagain seating herself, she forced a faint smile, and said, "Perhaps Ihad better keep quiet."
"Can I bear this!" cried Delvile, "no, it shakes all myresolution!--loveliest and most beloved Cecilia! forgive my rashdeclaration, which I hear retract and forswear, and which no falsepride, no worthless vanity shall again surprise from me!--raise, then,your eyes--"
"Hot-headed young man!" interrupted Mrs Delvile, with an air of haughtydispleasure, "if you cannot be rational, at least be silent. MissBeverley, we will both leave him."
Shame, and her own earnestness, how restored some strength to Cecilia,who read with terror in the looks of Mrs Delvile the passions with whichshe was agitated, and instantly obeyed her by rising; but her son, whoinherited a portion of her own spirit, rushed between them both and thedoor, and exclaimed, "Stay, madam, stay! I cannot let you go: I see yourintention, I see your dreadful purpose; you will work upon the feelingsof Miss Beverley, you will extort from her a promise to see me no more!"
"Oppose not my passing!" cried Mrs Delvile, whose voice, face and mannerspoke the encreasing disturbance of her soul; "I have but too longtalked to you in vain; I must now take some better method for thesecurity of the honour of my family."
This moment appeared to Delvile decisive; and casting off in desperationall timidity and restraint, he suddenly sprang forward, and snatchingthe hand of Cecilia from his mother, he exclaimed, "I cannot, I will notgive her up!--nor now, madam, nor ever!--I protest it most solemnly! Iaffirm it by my best hopes! I swear it by all that I hold sacred!"
Grief and horror next to frenzy at a disappointment thus unexpected, andthus peremptory, rose in the face of Mrs Delvile, who, striking her handupon her forehead, cried, "My brain is on fire!" and rushed out of theroom.
Cecilia had now no difficulty to disengage herself from Delvile, who,shocked at the exclamation, and confounded by the sudden departure ofhis mother, hastened eagerly to pursue her: she had only flown into thenext parlour; but, upon following her thither, what was his dread andhis alarm, when he saw her extended, upon the floor, her face, hands andneck all covered with blood! "Great Heaven!" he exclaimed, prostratinghimself by her side, "what is it you have done!--where are youwounded?--what direful curse have you denounced against your son?"
Not able to speak, she angrily shook her head, and indignantly made amotion with her hand, that commanded him from her sight.
Cecilia, who had followed, though half dead with terror
, had yet thepresence of mind to ring the bell. A servant came immediately; andDelvile, starting up from his mother, ordered him to fetch the firstsurgeon or physician he could find.
The alarm now brought the rest of the servants into the room, and MrsDelvile suffered herself to be raised from the ground, and seated in achair; she was still silent, but shewed a disgust to any assistancefrom her son, that made him deliver her into the hands of the servants,while, in speechless agony, he only looked on and watched her.
Neither did Cecilia, though forgetting her own sorrow, and no longersensible of personal weakness, venture to approach her: uncertain whathad happened, she yet considered herself as the ultimate cause of thisdreadful scene, and feared to risk the effect of the smallest additionalemotion.
The servant returned with a surgeon in a few minutes: Cecilia, unableto wait and hear what he would say, glided hastily out of the room; andDelvile, in still greater agitation, followed her quick into thenext parlour; but having eagerly advanced to speak to her, he turnedprecipitately about, and hurrying into the hall, walked in hasty stepsup and down it, without courage to enquire what was passing.
At length the surgeon came out: Delvile flew to him, and stopt him,but could ask no question. His countenance, however, rendered wordsunnecessary; the surgeon understood him, and said, "The lady will dovery well; she has burst a blood vessel, but I think it will be ofno consequence. She must be kept quiet and easy, and upon no accountsuffered to talk, or to use any exertion."
Delvile now let him go, and flew himself into a corner to return thanksto heaven that the evil, however great, was less than he had at firstapprehended. He then went into the parlour to Cecilia, eagerly callingout, "Heaven be praised, my mother has not voluntarily cursed me!"
"O now then," cried Cecilia, "once more make her bless you! the violenceof her agitation has already almost destroyed her, and her frame is tooweak for this struggle of contending passions;--go to her, then, andcalm the tumult of her spirits, by acquiescing wholly in her will, andbeing to her again the son she thinks she has lost!"
"Alas!" said he, in a tone of the deepest dejection; "I have beenpreparing myself for that purpose, and waited but your commands tofinally determine me."
"Let us both go to her instantly," said Cecilia; "the least delay may befatal."
She now led the way, and approaching Mrs Delvile, who, faint and weak,was seated upon an arm chair, and resting her head upon the shoulder ofa maid servant, said, "Lean, dearest madam, upon _me_, and speak not,but hear us!"
She then took the place of the maid, and desired her and the otherservants to go out of the room. Delvile advanced, but his mother's eye,recovering, at his sight, its wonted fire, darted upon him a glance ofsuch displeasure, that, shuddering with the apprehension of inflamingagain those passions which threatened her destruction, he hastily sankon one knee, and abruptly exclaimed, "Look at me with less abhorrence,for I come but to resign myself to your will."
"Mine, also," cried Cecilia, "that will shall be; you need not speakit, we know it, and here solemnly we promise that we will separate forever."
"Revive, then, my mother," said Delvile, "rely upon our plightedhonours, and think only of your health, for your son will never moreoffend you."
Mrs Delvile, much surprised, and strongly affected, held out her hand tohim, with a look of mingled compassion and obligation, and droppingher head upon the bosom of Cecilia, who with her other arm she pressedtowards her, she burst into an agony of tears.
"Go, go, Sir!" said Cecilia, cruelly alarmed, "you have said all that isnecessary; leave Mrs Delvile now, and she will be more composed."
Delvile instantly obeyed, and then his mother, whose mouth stillcontinued to fill with blood, though it gushed not from her with theviolence it had begun, was prevailed upon by the prayers of Cecilia toconsent to be conveyed into her room; and, as her immediate removalto another house might be dangerous, she complied also, though veryreluctantly, with her urgent entreaties, that she would take entirepossession of it till the next day.
This point gained, Cecilia left her, to communicate what had passed toMrs Charlton; but was told by one of the servants that Mr Delvile beggedfirst to speak with her in the next room.
She hesitated for a moment whether to grant this request; butrecollecting it was right to acquaint him with his mother's intention ofstaying all night, she went to him.
"How indulgent you are," cried he, in a melancholy voice, as she openedthe door; "I am now going post to Dr Lyster, whom I shall entreat tocome hither instantly; but I am fearful of again disturbing my mother,and must therefore rely upon you to acquaint her what is become of me."
"Most certainly; I have begged her to remain here to-night, and I hopeI shall prevail with her to continue with me till Dr Lyster's arrival;after which she will, doubtless, be guided either in staying longer, orremoving elsewhere, by his advice."
"You are all goodness," said he, with a deep sigh; "and how I shallsupport--but I mean not to return hither, at least not to thishouse,--unless, indeed, Dr Lyster's account should be alarming. I leavemy mother, therefore, to your kindness, and only hope, only entreat,that your own health,--your own peace of mind--neither by attendanceupon her--by anxiety--by pity for her son--"
He stopt, and seemed gasping for breath; Cecilia turned from him to hideher emotion, and he proceeded with a rapidity of speech that shewed histerror of continuing with her any longer, and his struggle with himselfto be gone: "The promise you have made in both our names to my mother,I shall hold myself bound to observe. I see, indeed, that her reasonor her life would fall the sacrifice of further opposition: of myself,therefore, it is no longer time to think.--I take of you no leave--Icannot! yet I would fain tell you the high reverence--but it is betterto say nothing--"
"Much better," cried Cecilia, with a forced and faint smile; "lose not,therefore, an instant, but hasten to this good Dr Lyster."
"I will," answered he, going to the door; but there, stopping andturning round, "one thing I should yet," he added, "wish to say,--I havebeen impetuous, violent, unreasonable,--with shame and with regret Irecollect how impetuous, and how unreasonable: I have persecuted, whereI ought in silence to have submitted; I have reproached, where I oughtin candour to have approved; and in the vehemence with which I havepursued you, I have censured that very dignity of conduct which hasbeen the basis of my admiration, my esteem, my devotion! but never canI forget, and never without fresh wonder remember, the sweetness withwhich you have borne with me, even when most I offended you. For thisimpatience, this violence, this inconsistency, I now most sincerelybeg your pardon; and if, before I go, you could so far condescend as topronounce my forgiveness, with a lighter heart, I think, I should quityou."
"Do not talk of forgiveness," said Cecilia, "you have never offended me;I always knew--always was sure--always imputed--" she stopt, unable toproceed.
Deeply penetrated by her apparent distress, he with difficultyrestrained himself from falling at her feet; but after a moment's pauseand recollection, he said, "I understand the generous indulgence youhave shewn me, an indulgence I shall ever revere, and ever grieve tohave abused. I ask you not to remember me,--far, far happier do I wishyou than such a remembrance could make you; but I will pain thehumanity of your disposition no longer. You will tell my mother--butno matter!--Heaven preserve you, my angelic Cecilia!--Miss Beverley,I mean, Heaven guide, protect, and bless you! And should I see you nomore, should this be the last sad moment---"
He paused, but presently recovering himself, added, "May I hear, atleast, of your tranquillity, for that alone can have any chance to quietor repress the anguish I feel here!"
He then abruptly retreated, and ran out of the house.
Cecilia for a while remained almost stupified with sorrow; she forgotMrs Delvile, she forgot Mrs Charlton, she forgot her own design ofapologizing to one, or assisting the other: she continued in the posturein which he had left her, quite without motion, and almost withoutsensibility.