Wearing just a casual gray T-shirt and jeans, James looked disarmingly hot and sexy, the down-to-earth type I found hard not to fall deeply for. As he strolled toward me, I didn't miss the graceful sway of his hips and the slight swing of his powerful shoulders. Not to mention his gorgeous face, which at the moment was grinning with delight from the fun time he had with his daughter.
The man made himself comfortable beside me. He even planted a kiss on my cheek when Aria wasn't looking.
"You're having fun." I began the conversation as I gazed at his profile.
"You should join us," he said.
I chuckled. "I'd probably demand you slow down, as Aria did."
"Was I really too fast?" he asked innocently.
Gosh, this man was truly more than meets the eye. The more I got to know him and the deeper our relationship became, the more he revealed himself to me.
I licked my lips and touched his strong jawline with my palm. That made him turn his eyes to me.
He grinned and asked, "What's this all of a sudden, Mia? Are you teasing me again?" He leaned closer and whispered hotly, "Do you want another sexy session like last night?"
I blushed at his inciting suggestion and pulled my hand away. I held my head high and said haughtily, "That was way too much, James. Honestly, five times? I don't think I can handle that too often. You need to think about my health. I'm not fit like you, you know."
He chuckled and made me a lascivious offer. "How about me as your personal trainer?"
I cocked my head to one side. "What?"
"Both in the gym and in the bedroom," he explained.
I chuckled at the same time I gave him a weak, playful punch on his shoulder. "No thank you," I said. "I'm fine as I am."
After that, I was quiet for a moment as I watched Aria playing with Sammy and Alfie. I thought it'd have to be now or never if I were going to bring up the topic of the little girl and her overbearing nanny.
Clearing my throat, I began. "James?"
"Hmm?" He glanced at me. "What is it?"
I licked my lips and then said, "It's about Aria."
I noted he became serious instantly. Perhaps he could sense in my voice the subject needed his full attention.
"What about her?" he asked.
I sighed, praying hard he wasn't going to be pissed that I was intervening in his family affairs.
Before I freaked out and changed my mind, I blurted out, "Do you think Sophie is somehow bullying Aria?" I paused and shook my head, needing to clarify my proposition. "What I mean is I noticed Aria behaves differently when she's around Sophie, like she's afraid of the woman or something. Not like when she's around you or me. With me, she's so outgoing and hyperactive, and she speaks her mind and behaves as a child should. But with Sophie, she's different. She's distant and quiet and-- I don't know. Her behavior is just different, like she has to sort of restrict herself somewhat."
I finally drifted my eyes to James to see if his expression would tell me he was upset with me for bringing up this subject about his daughter's behavior.
His expression was a sort of mask, which I had no clue what it meant. Then I wondered if this was the poker face he usually wore when he was doing business deals.
I licked my lips and continued in a hurry. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have intervened." I turned away, hoping like hell he'd forget the topic.
The moment I did so, however, James demanded, "Mia, look at me."
I regretted it immediately. God, I shouldn't have brought up the issue, and now I must suffer the consequences.
Reluctantly I turned to look at him, more than a little afraid.
"Why do you bring up the subject?" he asked.
I blinked. Shit! Why was he asking me this? Wasn't it obvious I cared about Aria? That I cared about him? That I was head over heels in love with him and I wanted to be more than just his mistress? That I wanted more to be than just a friend to Aria?
"Because I care about Aria," I said, looking into his eyes. I wanted to tell him I meant what I said, that there was no hidden agenda.
His face still a hard mask, he asked, "Why do you care about Aria?"
I furrowed my brow. God, did he really need me to spell out each word and explain its meaning?
"Because I love her, James; that's why. She's such a sweet child, and she's your daughter. Granted, I've never been with children before, but with Aria, I feel we just kind of click."
Like it clicks when I'm with you, I wanted to say.
"I care about her a lot, James. I'm worried Sophie is hurting her like..."
"Like?" He probed.
I sighed and reluctantly said, "Like the way my aunt and uncle used to hurt me. It's not nice, James. It hurt and scarred. It breaks you and drags you down. The scars, they don't go away. It haunts you at night and..."
I took in a deep breath, feeling tears brewing in my eyes. "And... it's painful, those nightmares... Those memories..."
Suddenly I felt my body being pulled forward, and I found myself burying my face against the side of James's neck. I was in James's arms, I realized, and I took full advantage of it. I just didn't care at that moment if Aria saw us in such an intimate embrace. I needed to be in James's arms. I wanted to be in James's arms, and nothing else mattered.
I sniffed and inhaled his manly scent, which calmed the turmoil that erupted within me.
"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" he asked softly.
I had no idea how this came to be. I thought we were talking about Aria and Sophie. So how did it turn out like this? Me blurting out my past? Me being consoled by James?
Nonetheless, I didn't care and took advantage. It was nice in James's comforting arms, being pampered by him. He made me feel safe. He made me feel I was of worth, like I was one of a kind and important.
"Feel like telling me about it?" he asked gently. "I'm all ears."
I shuddered involuntarily at his kind offer and lightly chuckled with joy. I'd been waiting for this moment, hadn't I? I'd been wanting to tell someone, anyone, I could trust. And here was James, like a knight in shining armor, presenting himself to me in such an unconventional way.
I wrapped my arms around him and nodded eagerly. Then I began my tale, telling him of how my wonderful parents had died during a car accident when I'd been twelve, of how Andy and I were severely injured. This was followed by our new home with Uncle Herbert and Aunt Miley, which began our teenage years of being bullied and molested. I recited how Uncle Herbert had sexually assaulted Andy and me, how he'd whip us with his belt, how he and his wife would verbally bully us, which ultimately planted some very dark scars inside us.
I told him when I was seventeen, I took Andy with me and ran away, thus ending that torturous life. I still had nightmares of the car accident, and sometimes I dreamed of Uncle Herbert coming to me at night and doing all sorts of disgusting things to me, like torturing me and whipping me. That sometimes he'd go too far and end up killing me, which scared me witless.
By the time I had finished, I was crying like a baby, tears streaming down my cheeks. God, I couldn't believe this was happening, that I was telling James about my dark past, that I was in his arms and crying my heart out.
"Shh..." James comforted me, his hands stroking my back, which helped ease my painful thoughts of my past and fears of the unknown future. I was still scared that one day Uncle Herbert would eventually find me and...
I didn't want to think about it and blanked my mind at the possibility.
James kissed my forehead gently and said, "You're safe with me, Mia. Nothing is going to hurt you again, not your aunt, not your uncle, not anyone. I promise."
I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity there. I knew he meant what he said because he was James, and James never went back on his word where I was concerned. I knew he'd keep me safe, that he'd annihilate anyone who would dare to hurt me or anyone I cared about. Hadn't I seen it already when Andy had been kidnapped by the Mexican?
I felt my heart glow w
ith affection and nodded my head. Then I couldn't help myself and raised my face to his in an offering. I wanted him to kiss me, because to me, that intimate act was like a seal to our promise, an oath of sorts of him keeping me safe and bound to him.
James lowered his face toward me and was about to kiss me when Aria's voice interrupted us.
"What ya doing, Daddy?"
I hastily pulled back and hid my face against James's chest, feeling totally embarrassed, as if I'd just been caught red-handed doing something very wicked.
I wiped tears from my eyes and cheeks before the little girl could see me in such a disheveled state.
"Mia?" Aria queried tentatively.
I could feel her adorable face close to mine as I was doing my utmost to hide from her. The little girl wouldn't let me off the hook and even went so far as to draw my attention by touching my cheek with her small hand.
"Mia? Why are you hiding your face against Daddy's chest?" she asked curiously.
James, meanwhile, chuckled wholeheartedly and pulled his daughter into his arms too. When I lifted my head, Aria was in front of me, sitting on her father's lap opposite me.
"My two darlings in my arms," James said. "I'm the luckiest man alive."
Aria giggled and said, "That's what Susie's daddy said when he had Susie and her mommy in his arms."
I sniffed and asked, "Who's Susie, Aria?"
Aria wrapped her small arms around her father's neck and said to me, "Susie is my friend. You haven't met her yet, but you will when I bring her around for a playdate next weekend." She turned to her father again. "Isn't that right, Daddy? 'Cause Susie is allowed to come around for a playdate next weekend?"
Once James nodded in confirmation, Aria once again turned her undivided attention to me. She looked at me closely and then cocked her head to one side as she asked, "Are you crying, Mia?" She said to her father. "Daddy, did you make Mia cry? You're naughty. What if she hates you and runs away? Then you can't kiss her like Susie's daddy kisses her mommy, and that'd be sad. You'll be sad, won't you, Daddy? 'Cause I know I'll be."
James didn't answer his daughter's many demanding questions. He simply chuckled with amusement.
I blinked, more than a little confused as to what Aria was going on about, this friend of hers named Susie and Susie's mom and dad. I wondered what they had to do with James and me for that matter.
"James didn't make me cry, Aria," I said, which drew the little girl's attention to me again. "I was just thinking about my own mom and dad and my past, that's all, and it made me sad."
The little girl looked at me for a moment, as if trying to understand my situation, which I knew she couldn't because she was so young.
"Well...," she began. "If your mommy and daddy and your past makes you sad and cry, then why do you think about them? Why don't you stop thinking about them? That way you'll be happier, right?"
I simply stared at her, dumbfounded. Gosh, Aria was smart for a six-year-old girl. She grabbed the bull right by the horns. There was no point in thinking about the past when it hurt you so bad.
I chuckled and said, "You're right, Aria. And you're so smart." In which case, she beamed at her father delightfully.
Thinking this was as good a chance as any, I changed the topic completely and asked the little girl, "Aria? Do you like Sophie?"
Chapter 12
Mia
Aria furrowed her brow for a moment as her eyes stared off at Alfie and Sammy in the distance. The naughty duo was still energetically chasing each other near the park bushes.
"Not really," she said finally.
Her answer made my heart ache. To have a person you didn't much like watching over you and controlling your every move wasn't pleasant; that was for sure. Aria must have felt very constricted and unhappy.
"Why?" I asked weakly.
Aria pulled a face and said in distaste, "'Cause she's weird. She makes me do things I don't like."
"Does she?" James asked.
From the corner of my eyes, I could see he had a hard expression on his face again.
"What type of things, Aria?" When he saw his daughter was about to evade his interrogation, he continued. "Sweetheart, Daddy wants to know everything. I love you, you understand? I don't want anyone to hurt or upset you."
Aria pulled her face again before succumbing to her father's inquiry. "You promise you won't tell on me?"
I frowned at this remark. Seriously? Tell on her? If Aria said that, then there was no doubt Sophie was threatening the little girl. Instantly I felt disgusted by the woman. How could she do that to Aria, a little girl who needed an older female's approval and affection? More than that, an older female such as Sophie who should be a role model?
I knew it was hard for James to make such a childish promise, but he nodded regardless, just to ease his daughter's fear. Truth be told, who was he going to tell anyway? Since there was no one bigger or more influential than James himself.
Aria cast her eyes downward and said, "Umm... Sophie keeps telling me I'm naughty and silly and that I'm a bad little girl. I have to behave because otherwise Daddy won't love me. She said me if I keep being so naughty, like talking too much and running around too much and playing with Alfie and Sammy too much, then Daddy won't come home to see me like Mommy won't come home to me. That Daddy won't buy me presents and won't play with me and will run away and never come back like Mommy did. So I have to behave."
She raised her head, a shameful look on her adorable face. "Mommy hates me because I'm naughty and talk too much; that's why. But I'm really, really sorry, Daddy, because I can't help myself when I'm with you, so I talk lots 'cause I'm so happy when I'm with you."
She buried her face in the side of James's neck and began to sob, ashamed of herself.
I felt my heart break right then and there for Aria and subconsciously stroked the little girl's small back to ease her pain. For sure, it was the first time I'd ever heard Aria talking about her mother, whom I just surmised had run away from home.
"It's okay, sweetheart," James said. "It's Daddy's fault Daddy wasn't there for you."
James was blaming himself for his daughter's suffering under Sophie's hands. His daughter was craving his affection and love, and she was lonely. I also knew that he wasn't going to forgive himself.
There I sat, watching James clutching his daughter tight in his arms, his face a dark mask of fury. I could see the intense Prussian-blue fire in his eyes that signified his wrath.
He was hurting, and he was blaming himself for everything that went wrong in Aria's life.
Ever since I'd known James, which hadn't been very long, this was the first time I'd seen such raw emotion in those beautiful blue eyes of his. I knew without a doubt that he loved his daughter dearly. I selfishly prayed that one day that unconditional, deep, meaningful love would also extend to me.
Both Alfie and Sammy decided to end their tag game and join us then. The duo sat before us and watched us with curiosity. Oddly enough, they didn't bark, just sat there quietly as if they understood Aria and her father were kind of in a melancholy mood.
I kept silent as Aria finally raised her face again and asked her dad meekly, "Daddy?"
"Yes, sweetheart?" James replied roughly.
Aria sniffed noisily and continued. "You're not angry with me, are you? You won't run away like Mommy did 'cause you hate me, will you? 'Cause that's what Sophie said. That you'll run away too, and I'm scared. Whenever you're going away, I'm so scared of being alone. So I go into your room and sleep in your bed and pray to God you'll come back soon. It makes me so happy when you call me and tell me you'll buy me presents and you'll come home soon."
Tears were falling down the little girl's cheeks as she confessed all to her father. Right here and now, Aria was pouring her heart out, telling him her feelings, which were raw and real.
I found I was in awe of the little girl. I was crying along with her, so taken by her primal emotions.
In a way, I fully recognized Aria
's feelings, which were the same as mine when I'd been young. That sense of emptiness, of not having your parents by your side and the fear of seeing them leave and never return. I knew those feelings, the terror of being alone, of not having anyone to love and no one to love you in return.
"No, sweetheart," James said darkly, his voice hard and edgy. "Daddy will never, ever run away. I will always be by your side. I love you so much."
Aria sniffed and asked, "Really? You promise?"
James nodded. "I promise."
That seemed to ease Aria's fear and brighten her up. She smiled once again and then gave her father a peck on his cheek. "Thank you, Daddy. I promise to be good so you won't have to go away too often."
I couldn't help myself and chuckled at the little girl's remark. Honestly, Aria truly had a talent for words because she could really come up with the cleverest comment that could knock you out of the park.
I wiped tears from my eyes and said, "Why don't you tag along with him when he's going away for business, Aria?"
"But I have school," Aria said.
True enough. "You can always get a private tutor, but if you really love school, you can always tag along with your father when you're on vacation."
Aria nodded vigorously at this. "Can we do that, Daddy? Can we? Can we? Next time I'm on vacation, can I come along with you on your trip?"
James chuckled delightfully and nodded. "Of course."
Aria then turned her attention to me and asked, "Am I a naughty little girl, Mia? 'Cause I talk too much?"
I chuckled. I couldn't help myself. "No, of course not," I said. "I like when you act yourself. That hyperactive, talkative Aria. You're so adorable when you're friendly and outgoing." I shook my head. "I don't like it when you're quiet and have to behave stiffly like you have a stick up your backside."
Aria cocked her head to one side. "I have a stick up my backside? What does that mean?"
I blushed and thought, Shit. I shouldn't have used that phrase.
James came to my rescue and said, "She means she doesn't like it when you act like Sophie. And to be frankly honest, neither do I."
Aria widened her eyes at this revelation. "You don't, Daddy?"
He nodded and said, "From now on, you be yourself, all right?"