After Albert dropped Bethany off at home with a kiss to her forehead, Bethany could only stand there in shock at what had just occurred. With no one home yet, Bethany took off to see Carolyn. Surely her older sister could help her make sense of her muddled heart.
Here Albert was offering what Bethany had always dreamed he would. He came back—finally—wanting to marry her. At some point, Bethany thought her answer would be easy. She had always thought she would say yes, but now things were different.
Now Jeremy was in her heart as well. Jeremy who was so tender with Bethany’s feelings. He had waited so long and pursued her so faithfully. Jeremy loved her, maybe longer than Albert had.
And Jeremy had come back to her.
Reaching Carolyn’s house, Bethany flew through the door. “Oh Carolyn, you shall never believe what has happened…” Bethany let her voice trail off at the sight of Laura and Heather sitting with Carolyn at the kitchen table. “What is going on here?”
Carolyn stood and wrapped her arm around Bethany. “I sent Scott to find you, but you weren’t home. We’ve been talking long already.”
“Talking, not arguing?” And now they threw this at her. Could anything else possibly happen today?
Laura ran over as well and took both Carolyn and her hand. “Bethy, I am so, so sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It was Jake who finally made me see reason. I admit, I did get stubborn and refused to see reason. But now, all I want is for us to be happy again.”
Bethany tried to hold down a sob, but her emotions were already out of sync, “Oh Laura.” She wrapped her arms around both sisters, so very glad that this breach was mended.
Heather cleared her throat, “Come now, we must fill Bethany in of all that’s she missed. And don’t forget, we have only five days to finish preparing the Christmas dinner menu and decorating.”
Laura tugged Carolyn and Bethany back to the table. “Where were you, Bethy? I thought you were home this afternoon.”
The words wouldn’t form in Bethany’s mind and instead she looked to Carolyn, praying that she could read what she couldn’t explain.
Carolyn just looked at her with a question, “I don’t understand, Bethany. What did you come here to see me about?”
Looking at her sisters around the table, Bethany debated between telling and keeping it to herself for a bit longer. “Nothing that can’t wait. Like Heather said…”
“Out with it, Bethy.” Carolyn’s voice held no nonsense and the three of them were looking at her, knowing something was amiss, yet not sure what.
Taking a deep breath, she decided to make it as simple as possible. “Albert’s back.”
Laura’s mouth dropped open, “Wha….”
“And he asked me to marry him.” There was silence and Carolyn, Laura, and Heather stared at Bethany not quite believing what she had just said. “And now can we please move on to Christmas? I can’t process this right now.”
Carolyn was not about to be budged, “Bethy, I’m sorry. How will you ever decide?”
“I thought I came to you for advice, and all you say is ‘good luck deciding’?”
Carolyn came over and wrapped her arms around Bethany, “As much as I wish I could help you, this is a decision you must make on your own. Do you love Albert or do you love Jeremy? It doesn’t get much simpler than that.”
“But what if I don’t know?”
Heather now grasped Bethany’s hands, “Trust me, you’ll know. When you decide, deep down, you will feel a sense of peace and contentment with your decision.”
But how did she reach that decision?
The girls spent the rest of the morning planning their new Christmas traditions. It was decided that they would decorate the tree with new ornaments rather than the traditional popcorn garland and candles. Those would still be in place, but with less, and Laura was going to assist Rosie and Adam in making some paper stars as well as making some balls.
Momma came over later, thrilled that the girls were now agreeing again. They then decided on what to make for the Christmas meal — turkey, stuffing, creamed potatoes, vegetables, and different desserts. Laura decided to put on a Christmas skit with the help of the others. Everyone was delighted with the idea of acting it out, especially since it would help Rosie and especially Adam understand Jesus’ birth in a different way.
And so began the start of the Woodsmall family’s new-fangled traditions. As Bethany walked home with Laura, she was amazed at how things could develop so quickly and into something so wonderful indeed. She tried though to process her decision — DC with Albert or home with Jeremy. It should be relatively simple. At least, so Bethany would think.
Laura interrupted her thoughts though, “I’m glad Momma decided to go back with Heather. I wanted you to myself.”
Forcing her mind to focus now on Laura and her needs, she turned to her sister, “Oh? Is something bothering you?”
“Well not exactly, but I just wanted to tell you that you were right.”
This was new coming from Laura. “About what?”
“I was so set against Isaac because I thought I would care for him and now, I think I have.”
Bethany stopped, pulling Laura to a halt beside her. “Isaac as in Isaac Bradley, the new doctor assistant?”
Laura laughed, “Yes, and you needn’t act so shocked. I should have thought you would have seen it coming.”
“I confess, Laura, I have been quite preoccupied. But is that what has been keeping you in town so often?”
“I suppose so. He asked me to dinner tomorrow night. Can you believe it? Again! Even after I so rudely refused the first time.”
“And you said…”
“Yes? I told him it would just be as friends and he said that is what he wanted.”
“I’m happy for you truly. Just don’t play the friend card too much or you may come to regret pushing that level.” Her thoughts suddenly wandered to Jeremy who had been her friend for years now. Albert had been too, but Jeremy had always been there.
“Thank you, Bethany. I am ever so glad I have you to talk to. What would I do without you here?” Laura leaned over to kiss Bethany on her cheek.
“Don’t be silly, where would I go?” But as soon as the words left her mouth, Bethany knew her answer. She could have been in DC with Albert. What if he had come for her right when the war ended? Would she be there in DC? Would she have missed this time with her sisters? Carolyn and Laura’s Christmas fight. Adam and Rosie’s first St. Lucia’s celebration. Laura discovering a beau, well just a friend.
Suddenly Bethany’s decision became clear as ever.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Unfortunately, Bethany didn’t make it to town right away. When she returned home from Carolyn’s, she ran into Poppa and proceeded to tell him all that had occurred. Being the wise Poppa that he was, Poppa advised Bethany to wait before rushing off.
“It is always best to consult God first before you rush head long into a decision that you may come to regret.”
Bethany agreed and as the days passed, she began to feel even more content with her decision. But she couldn’t quite act on it yet. Between Carolyn and Laura, she was kept busy with getting ready for Christmas. The making of new traditions seemed to pull them all closer together than ever before. They had a lot to be thankful for and a lot to celebrate. Why, this was the first Christmas that they were all together since the Civil War! It was a time to rejoice and Bethany was glad that they were finally able to do that.
The day before Christmas Eve, Bethany decided to go in to town. She just had to see Jeremy before he came to a conclusion on his own and hated her for it. Besides, in order to make Christmas perfect, she had to settle some things first.
As she tied her horse in front of the church in town, she wondered where she would possibly find Jeremy. Just as she was gathering up her courage to go to his house, Albert came toward her. Well, she might as well tell him first.
“Bethany, wha
t a surprise! I was hoping to see you soon.” Albert reached down as if to hug her, but Bethany placed her hands on his arms to stop him.
“Albert, there’s something I must say.” Albert looked into her eyes and Bethany knew that he saw all that she had to say in her eyes. “I care for you, very much, as a friend. But I can’t marry you and move to DC.”
“What if I came back right away or if you got my letter? Would your answer be different?”
The way his eyes pleaded with her, hurt her, but she knew she was making the right decision. “It’s hard to know if things would’ve been different. But this remains the same, I can’t leave all those I love behind.” Including Jeremy, she now realized.
As if Albert could read her thoughts, he said, “It’s because of Jeremy, isn’t it? Nettie told me the two of you were courting.”
The need to defend herself appeared, “I promise, Albert, we didn’t begin courting till a few weeks ago. I was trying my hardest to wait for you, I was. But then he asked me, and it felt right. Oh it was quite rocky with my need to constantly be unsure, but then you came back. And…and I realized, I think I love him.” She looked up at Albert, praying that she hadn’t hurt him so.
He appeared wounded, but then quickly recovered himself. “He’ll make you happy, Bethy, I know he will. But please tell me that we can part as friends?”
She smiled then, “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Albert hugged her then, though Bethany couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t the same as when Jeremy hugged her. When he pulled back, there was a twinkle in his eye. “You best go tell him then, before he gets to feeling that he’s been rejected.”
Bethany followed his gaze to where Jeremy was sitting on the school steps. The need to go over to him was so strong, but she had to say good bye to Albert.
He beat her to it though, “Good bye, Bethany Woodsmall. I wish you all the best.”
Bethany touched his arm lightly, “Good luck in DC, Albert. You better be back to visit.”
Jeremy sat on the school steps and tried not to watch his Beth talk with Albert. Well, not his Beth any long. Not after the way she smiled when she embraced him. The rumor he heard that Albert Graber returned to bring Bethany back to the city must be true and Jeremy could do no more. All his years of loving her but her heart would never be his and he must resign himself to the fact.
“Do you remember when I first walked into this schoolhouse?” Her angelic voice greeted him and when Jeremy looked up, he could hardly believe that it was Bethany standing there. She sat down next to him, “Why, it was only about five years ago and then I met you for the first time.”
He was in no mood for her reminiscing, “What are you doing here, Bethany?”
She almost seemed surprised when he didn’t call her Beth, but he was sure he was imagining it. “I needed to talk to you. Is now a good time?”
He shrugged, “If you’d like, but I can save you from speaking as I already know what you are going to say.”
Her eyes lit up and she grasped his arm, “Really? And what do you think?”
“I think I saw it coming. All your talk about Albert and now he’s here. Congratulations.” It was hard not to keep the bitterness out of his tone. But it was that, or he’d break down and he really didn’t want to do that. Since there was nothing more to say, he tried to stand but Bethany held him down. Her mouth was slightly agape and wonder filled her eyes.
“Jeremy, I believe you are entirely misunderstood. Yes, Albert’s back and yes, he proposed…”
Could this hurt any worse? “There’s nothing more to say, Bethany.”
“But there is! I thought you said you’d wait for me?”
“I can’t keep waiting to get jerked around. Besides, why wait when you made your choice?”
“Because I need you to. When Albert came back, I confess I wasn’t sure what I’d do. But it made me realize something. I couldn’t leave all the people I love to go to DC. I believe I’m falling in love with you, Jeremy, and I’m asking if you’d come back to me — again. I won’t make the same mistake twice…” She couldn’t explain any more before Jeremy was pulling her to him. Closing her eyes, he felt her lean into him, reveling in the way having her in his arms made him feel.
“Are you for real this time? Because I don’t think I can bear to lose you again?” His words whispered against her ear and Bethany could only nod and smile. “I love you so much, my Beth, and you better not think of going anywhere.”
“I don’t want to, because now I’ve finally found who holds my heart.”
EPILOGUE
And so diary, it seems as though this Christmas has been the best one so far! Though we are missing our Henry, nothing could possibly be better. Seated around the table, I realize how blessed I truly am. Everyone is laughing and the dinner has proved much different than our one at Thanksgiving. Carolyn and Scott even announced that they are expecting a baby sometime in early spring. What absolute wonderfulness! Laura is in much brighter spirits and I believe that deep down she is falling for her doctor. She says that he, Dr. Luke, and Katie are stopping by later this evening and she couldn’t be happier.
Adam and Rosie are running around and Adam is reveling in all the presents that he has received. This Christmas is a big deal for a little boy born during the war. How I wish that situation could have been exchanged for him.
And now I have my Jeremy beside me. He enjoyed a Christmas dinner with us and was even a part of Laura’s skit. I feel as though everyone is glad to see him here and I feel as though he has fit in wonderfully. Jeremy left for his family’s dinner for a bit, but now he is back to take me on a sleigh ride. I shall have to write more later. But I feel as though I couldn’t be happier than I am right now.
“Bethany! Jeremy’s back!” Laura’s voice carried up to the loft and she quickly put her diary away before hurrying down.
Bethany couldn’t contain the smile that spread across her face as she spotted Jeremy at the door.
His appeared to match hers. “Ready to go, Beth?”
“Always,” she grabbed her shawl and before heading out, turned to say good-bye. Poppa and Momma stood there with strange smiles on their faces and Laura looked ready to burst. Thinking that everyone was just happy, Bethany left without thinking anymore about it.
As she sat in the sleigh with Jeremy, Bethany slid her arm through his. “Have I told you that I am so happy I’m here with you?”
Jeremy laughed as he looked down at her. “You might have mentioned it once or twice.”
“Well, I am exceedingly happy to be here with you. There, now I’ve said it three times. Which tops you. I don’t think you uttered it once.”
“I suppose I should change that then,” but instead of echoing her words, Jeremy remained quiet. She wondered what he could possibly mean, but right now, she was content to just sit with him in the silence as the snow began fluttering to the ground.
“It’s snowing, Jeremy, on Christmas. I love that.” Bethany closed her eyes, feeling the snow fall on her face. A cold blast of air surrounded her and when she opened her eyes, she realized that Jeremy was now facing her in the sleigh and not just sitting next to her.
Jeremy clasped both of her hands in his, “I know we haven’t been courting long, but I’ve long since told you how long I’ve known you. But coming to this conclusion, I just feel that it is as right as anytime and I even had a chance to talk to your father before bringing you out here.” Bethany looked up and saw that they were right at the lake. The ice glistened over the water making it look picturesque.
Now, Jeremy was urging her from the sleigh until they were both standing in the snow. Bethany gave a slight shiver, “What are you up to, Jeremy?”
“You’ll see,” with a twinkle in his eye, Jeremy went to one knee, still clasping one of her hands. “I am exceedingly happy that I am here with you and I don’t ever want to be anywhere else. I promise I’ll love you forever. Marry me, Bet
hany Woodsmall. Say you’ll be my girl forever.” He withdrew a ring from his pocket, and though it was simpler than what Albert’s might have been, Bethany couldn’t imagine wearing anything else.
“Yes, oh yes, I’ll marry you! And I love you too!” As Jeremy slid the ring on her finger, Bethany fell in his arms before he had a chance to get out of the snow. Now, this Christmas couldn’t have been any better.
EXCERPT FROM “FINDING FAITH”
Carolyn’s Diary
January 12, 1855
Dear Diary,
Around lunchtime, it started snowing pretty hard and around supper when I went out to do the barn chores, it was turning into a real blizzard. I kept Laura inside with Bethy when I went out, for I didn't need to worry about her. As I went, I took a rope with me that attached to the main house. I was quite relieved when I finally reached the barn door and pushed it open. It was warm in the barn, most likely from all the animals. Still, it took me twice as long to do the chores since there was no one to help me.
As I was putting hay in the horses' feed trough, the door flew open. A tall figure stood in the doorway. I gave a small scream and grabbed the pitchfork, which was right next to me.
The figure came closer with his hands in the air. "Relax, Carolyn, it's only me." It was Scott Harp.
With a sigh of relief, I lowered my pitchfork, "You know, you shouldn't scare people like that."
He gave a small laugh. "I reckon not."
I continued my job at hand. "So, what are you doing here? I would have thought that Luke would've told you that Jesse wasn't here."
Scott started filling another trough with hay, "He did, but we both thought that it would be good for someone to check up on you girls."
I turned to him. "We don't need checking up on, and besides, with a blizzard, there is no need for anyone to put their lives at risk."
Scott stopped what he was doing and looked my way. "Then just let the barn alone and stay inside and I won't come anymore."