Read Chantecler Page 6

Praise the Night, when we take vengeance

  On the goldfinch for his beauty,

  On the titmouse for his grace!

  When the darkness takes possession

  Let them tremble, those confiding

  Hostages of Day's!

  THE WOOD-OWL

  For there is a choice in murder!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  And the inkier the blackness

  All the clearer do we see

  To select the whitest pigeon

  In the dove-cote, and the bluest

  Blue jay on the shuddering tree!

  THE BARN-OWL

  Praise the hour and taste and relish

  Of the eggs we suck, destroying

  Hopes of many a haughty line!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  And the councils where in whispers

  We prepare what shall resemble

  Accidents by every sign!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Praise the shadow's grim suggestions!

  The advantage over others

  We inherit through their fright!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  For our grisly cachinnations

  Give the very eagle goose-flesh--

  ALL TOGETHER

  Praise our patroness, the Night!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  And now let the Screech-Owl in his russet robe take the floor.

  SEVERAL VOICES

  Silence!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_On his fagot._] What an awf'ly lovely evening party!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  [_Oratorically._] Brethren of the Night--

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_To the_ OWL _next to him._] The meeting-place seems to me particularly

  well chosen. The blackest spot, the moldiest tree. To the right, old

  postherds. To the left, in the dark between the hollies--the view!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  Brethren of the Night!--

  AN OWL

  There comes the Mole!

  SEVERAL VOICES

  Silence!

  THE OWL

  She must have taken, to come here, a route below the roots of the

  daisies--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  The subway, what else?

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_To his neighbor._] Is that the Blackbird?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Coming forward._] Yes, your Grace. And the two agate balls over there

  are the Cat.

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  I can hear him licking his paws.

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  [_Resuming._] Brethren of the Night! Inasmuch as everybody here--and we

  plume ourselves upon it!--is possessed of the evil eye--

  ALL THE BIRDS

  [_Chuckling and rocking in their peculiarly disgusting and

  characteristic fashion._] Ha, ha!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Spreading his wings to demand silence._] Hush! [_All return to their

  appalling stillness._]

  THE BLACKBIRD

  My eye is merely roguish. I am here to look on, you know, without taking

  sides,--in the artist spirit, that's all.

  AN OWL

  If you are not taking sides, then you are siding with us!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Oh, I say, what a primitive notion!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  [_Completing his sentence._] Let us express ourselves with simple and

  direct malevolence: the Cock is a robber!

  ALL

  A robber! He robs us!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Now, what the--Robs you of what?

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Of health! Gladness!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  How is that?

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  By his crowing!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  His crowing brings on enlargement of the spleen and pericarditis! For it

  heralds--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Hopping about._] Oh, I see--The light!

  [_All make a violent motion in his direction; the_ BLACKBIRD

  _frightened, hides among the fagots._]

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Emphatically._] Never speak that word! When that word is spoken, Night

  at the horizon feels a crawling discomfort, a titillation underneath

  her wing.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Cautiously correcting himself._] The brightness of--[_General start

  of dismay repeated; the_ BLACKBIRD _again dodges behind the fagots._]

  AN OWL

  [_Hurriedly._] Never utter that horrible grating word, which so

  hatefully suggests the scratching of a match!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  You should express yourself: The Cock heralds the folding back of the

  pall--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  But the day--[_Start and threatening gesture from all._]

  ALL

  [_In voices of unspeakable anguish._] Not that word!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  You must refer to it as "that which will be!"

  THE BLACKBIRD

  What difference does it make whether or not he heralds the--

  ALL

  [_Stopping him._] Ha!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  --the folding back of the pall, since that which will be--will be!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_In tones of despair._] Simple torture it is to hear a brazen throat

  forever reminding you of what you know to be only too true!

  ALL

  [_Writhing in pain._] Too true! Too true!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  He begins while the night is still pleasant and cool--

  CRIES ON ALL SIDES

  He is a robber, a thief!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  He cheats us!

  ALL THE OWLS

  He cheats us! Cheats us!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Of the good bit of night there still is left.

  AN OWLET

  He compels us to leave our posts beside the warrens--

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  Our feasts of steaming flesh!

  THE WOOD-OWL

  The witches' routs where we ride perched on the fist of a hag!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  After cock-crow an Owl is no longer in his normal state--

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  He does evil in a hurry!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  And bungles it in consequence!

  THE OLD HORNED-OWL

  As soon as the Cock has crowed all becomes temporary provisional--

  THE BARN-OWL

  Though the Night be still black, we are painfully aware of it growing

  less and less black!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  When his metallic voice has cleft the night, we squirm like a worm in a

  fruit that is cut in two.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_On his fagot, mystified._] The other Cocks, however--

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Their song creates no uneasiness. It is his song which must be silenced.

  ALL THE NIGHT-BIRDS

  [_Flapping their wings, in a long lament._] Silenced! Silenced!

  AN OWL

  How can it be accomplished?

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  The Blackbird here has worked in our cause.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Who--I?

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  Yes, you laughed at him.

  ALL

  [_Cackling._] Ha, ha!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Spreading his wings._] Hush! [_They resume their sinister stillness._]

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  But his song has not acted any the less directly on our gall-bladders

  for the fun that has been made of him. He has grown stronger than ever

  since he wa
s found ridiculous.

  ALL

  What shall we do?

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  The Peacock, that great booby--

  ALL

  [_Cackling and rocking._] Ha, ha!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Opening his wings._] Hush! [_All instantly motionless._]

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  Through the Peacock, likewise working in our cause, the Cock came out of

  fashion. But his song is just as inconvenient, in fashion or out of it.

  He is all the more proudly uncompromising for no longer being in style.

  ALL

  What shall we do?

  AN OWL

  Cut his throat!

  CRIES

  Death to the Cock!

  AN OWL

  Death to that aristocrat posing as a democrat and socialist!

  ANOTHER

  With spurs on his heels, but a liberty cap on his head!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Night-birds all, arise!

  [ALL, _arising with outspread wings and glaring eyes, increase

  enormously in size. The night appears doubly dark._]

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_With unabated lightness._] Midnight to the fore!

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  Kill him! But how can we, when our eyes cease to see the moment he comes

  out?

  ALL

  [_Wailing like an ancient chorus._] Woe!

  THE OLD HORNED-OWL

  [_Craftily._] How kill--from afar?

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  By means of what secret spring?

  A VOICE

  [_From the tree._] Duke, may I lay a plan before the assembly?

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  Scops! Let us hear!

  ALL

  [_At sight of a small_ OWL _dropping from a bough, and coming forward

  with tiny hops._] Scops, dear little Scops!

  SCOPS

  [_Bowing before the_ GRAND-DUKE.] You are aware, mighty

  Blind-by-day-and-seer-by-night, that in pleasant gardens up yonder hill

  a breeder of birds--termed aviculturist, raises for exhibitions--termed

  agricultural, the most magnificent Cocks of the most extraordinary

  varieties. Now, that great discoverer of rare birds, the Peacock, who,

  possessing a voice which pierces the ear-drum cannot abide a voice which

  pierces the darkness--the Peacock, whose specialty it is to confer

  celebrity upon every strange beast--

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_To his neighbour._] From every strange region!

  SCOPS

  Cherishes the dream of presenting these same Cocks to-morrow, in the

  kitchen garden, at the--

  ALL TOGETHER

  [_Laughing._] Guinea-hen's!

  SCOPS

  And launching among her set these Birds whose glory will be the

  finishing blow to the glory of Chantecler.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Flatten him out like a pan cake!

  THE SCREECH OWL

  But those Cocks are always locked in!

  SCOPS

  I am coming to that. This evening, when a maid, having entered their

  wire-netted close, was scattering corn in a golden shower, I started up

  suddenly from the hollow of a pollard willow, and the girl--

  AN OWL

  [_To his neighbour._] What a bright mind, our little Scops!

  SCOPS

  At sight of the ill-omened bird--

  ALL

  [_Cackling and rocking._] Ha, ha!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Spreading his wings._] Hush! [_All suddenly still._]

  SCOPS

  Fled, with one arm across her eyes! The cage was left open, and the

  whole fantastic host will meet Chantecler to-morrow at the--

  ALL

  [_With peals of laughter._] Guinea-hen's!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  He is not going. He has refused.

  SCOPS

  The devil!

  THE CAT

  [_Quietly._] Go on, Scops. He will be there.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Looking at him from a distance._] What do you know about it, pocket

  panther?

  THE CAT

  I saw a Pheasant-hen exciting his admiration, and I saw that he would

  go.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  It's when you're sound asleep that you see everything!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_To_ SCOPS.] Very well, then, let us suppose him going.

  SCOPS

  Chantecler, for all his fame, has retained his bluff country squire's

  frankness. When he sees this--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Prompting._] Tea-fight--

  SCOPS

  And the contortions of those--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Same business._] Snobs--

  SCOPS

  In the presence of those--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Same business._] Big guns--

  SCOPS

  He is sure to say things which they are equally sure to take up.

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Thrilled._] And do you believe that a cock-fight--?

  SCOPS

  Such is my fond hope.

  THE CAT

  But listen, Scops. Suppose Chantecler should win?

  SCOPS

  Know, Angora, that there will be among those fancy cocks a genuine

  game-cock, lean, with tawny wing, the same who--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Seeing the_ OWLS _puff out their feathers for joy._] Sensation among

  the audience!

  SCOPS

  The same who has defeated the most famous champions--the White Pile.

  And as this victor in Flemish and English encounters wears at his heels,

  for the defter dispatching of his enemy, two razors fastened there by

  the ingenuity of man, by tomorrow night Chantecler will be dead, and his

  eyes picked out of their sockets.

  THE SCREECH-OWL

  [_Enthusiastically._] We will go and gloat over his corpse!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Risen to his full height, formidable._] And his comb, which looked

  above his forehead like an incarnate bit of scarlet dawn, we will take

  his comb,--our dearest dream at length fulfilled!--and we will eat it!

  ALL

  [_With a yell, which ends in their ferocious cackling and rocking._] And

  we will eat it,--eat it, ha, ha!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_Spreading his wings._] Hush! [_Dead silence._]

  SCOPS

  And after that--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Hopping._] It's quite a tidy proposition as it stands--

  SCOPS

  What?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Your scheme! By Jingo, if I were the sort of bird to take things

  solemnly, I would go straight to the Cock and tell him. But I will do

  nothing of the sort. [_He concludes, with four little hops._] For I

  know--that all this--will turn out--beautifully!

  SCOPS

  [_Ironically._] Beautifully indeed! [_He continues in growing

  excitement._] And after that, if those absurd Cocks of far-fetched

  breeds have not by to-morrow evening gone back to their cages, we will

  eat them all, no longer good for anything!

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_In his neighbour's ear._] And after that we will eat the Blackbird for

  dessert.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Who has not caught the last sentence._] What did he say?

  SCOPS

  [_Quickly._] Nothing! [_In a still increasing frenzy of glee._] And

  after that--

  [_In the distance: Cock-a-doodle-doo! Instant silence. _SCOPS
_ stops

  short and collapses, as if mown down. All the puffed _OWLS_ appear

  suddenly to have grown thin._]

  ALL

  [_Looking at one another and blinking._] What is it? What was that?

  [_They hastily spread their wings and call to one another for flight._]

  Grand-Duke! Minor! Minimus!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Hopping from one to the other._] Going? So soon? Why, what's your

  hurry?

  VOICE

  [_Of one of the_ NIGHT-BIRDS _calling to another._] Nyctalis!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  It's hours before daybreak. Oceans of time, you have!

  AN OWL

  Asio, are you coming?

  ANOTHER OWL

  [_Calling._] Nictea!

  ANOTHER

  [_Fluttering up to him._] Yes, my dear! [_They all stagger and trip over

  their wings._]

  THE BLACKBIRD

  What makes them stumble?

  THE NIGHT-BIRDS

  [_Winking and blinking with marked evidences of pain._] Oh, how it

  hurts! Ow! Ow!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Lightning opthalmia, I declare! [_One by one the_ OWLS _fly off._]

  THE GRAND-DUKE

  [_The last to go, spins on himself with a cry of pain and rage._] How

  does he contrive, that pernicious Cock, to have a voice that fairly puts

  out your eyes! [_He heavily flaps off._]

  VOICES OF THE NIGHT-BIRDS

  [_In the distance._] Strix!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Looking after them among the branches, and later in the blue space

  over the valley._] They are calling one another!

  VOICE IN THE DISTANCE

  Scops!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Bending over the valley, where the dark wings are dwindling and

  fading._] They wheel--waver--dip--

  VOICES

  [_Dying in the distance._] Owl of the Wall! Of the Belfry! Of the Yew!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Gone! [_He looks about, gives a hop, and with an immediate return to

  levity._] But it's supper-time.--Now for a bite of cold grasshopper!

  [_The_ PHEASANT-HEN _suddenly flies over the brushwood tangle, dropping

  beside him._] You!

  SCENE SECOND

  THE BLACKBIRD, THE PHEASANT-HEN, _later_ CHANTECLER

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  [_Panting, tragically earnest._] I ran all the way.--You were

  there.--Oh, I am half dead with terror!--Well you must have overheard

  their dreadful secret! You, his friend!

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Cheerfully rummaging among the moss._] Or the thigh of a katydid will

  do.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  I was watching from a distance. I crouched in a ditch--[_In an anguished

  voice._] Well?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_In genuine surprise._] Well, what?

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  Their conspiracy--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Calmly._] It all went off very nicely.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  What do you mean?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  The shadow was a correct and appropriate blue, and the Owls said

  perfectly characteristic things.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  [_In wild alarm._] Heavens, they plotted his death?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  His decease, which is not nearly so bad.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  But--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Don't smite your brow! In spite of the Screech-Owl's grave and

  self-important tone, I shouldn't wonder if it all amounted to

  very little.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  Those Owls--

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Are good enough in their various parts, but it's the old excessive style

  of acting.

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  I beg your pardon?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Back numbers!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  Oh?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  They have eyelashes, fancy, all the way round their eyes! It's too much

  of a good thing, really.--And that black plot, those desperately dark

  designs, all that belongs to the year one; you can see moss growing

  on its back!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  [_Fluttering hither and thither feverishly._] I am never quite sure of

  understanding when a person is talking in fun.

  THE BLACKBIRD

  [_Winking at her._] No flies on your acting!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  Surely you wouldn't be laughing if he were in danger? Those ruffians--?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Prattlers! Wooden Swords! Knights of Hot Air!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  But Scops--?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  A stuffed Owl!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  And the Great Bubo--?

  THE BLACKBIRD

  Just two ten-candle-power lamps, to be turned on and off with a

  switch,--crick-crack! And Flammeolus, two lamps likewise--but acetylene!

  THE PHEASANT-HEN

  [_Bewildered by his imagery._] And so--?