She spoke more softly but her words cut him even deeper. "Rabbi, if you shared witness to some of the things Other Memory has forced me to know, you would come back seeking new words for evil. Some things our ancestors have done debase the worst label you could imagine."
"Rebecca ... Rebecca ... I know necessities of ..."
"Don't make excuses about 'necessities of the times'! You, a Rabbi, know better. When are we without a moral sense? It's just that sometimes we don't listen."
He put his hands over his face, rocking back and forth in the old chair. It creaked mournfully.
"Rabbi, you I have always loved and respected. I went through the Agony for you. I shared Lampadas for you. Do not deny what I have learned from this."
He lowered his hands. "I do not deny, daughter. But permit me my pain."
"Out of all these realizations, Rabbi, the thing I must deal with most immediately and without respite is that there are no innocents."
"Rebecca!"
"Guilty may not be the right word, Rabbi, but our ancestors did things for which payment must be made."
"That I understand, Rebecca. It is a balance that--"
"Don't tell me you understand when I know you don't." She stood and glared down at him. "It's not a balance book that you set aright. How far back would you go?"
"Rebecca, I am your Rabbi. You must not talk this way, especially to me."
"The farther back you go, Rabbi, the worse the evil atrocities and higher the price. You cannot go back that far but I am forced to it."
Turning, she left him, ignoring the pleading in his voice, the painful way he said her name. As she closed the door, she heard him say: "What have we done? Israel, help her."
The writing of history is largely a process of diversion. Most historical accounts distract attention from the secret influences behind great events.
--The Bashar Teg
When left to his own devices, Idaho often explored his no-ship prison. So much to see and learn about this Ixian artifact. It was a cave of wonders.
He paused on this afternoon's restless walk through his quarters and looked at the tiny comeyes built into the glittering surface of a doorway. They were watching him. He had the odd sensation of seeing himself through those prying eyes. What did the Sisters think when they looked at him? The blocky ghola-child from Gammu's long-dead Keep had become a lanky man: dark skin and hair. The hair was longer than when he had entered this no-ship on the last day of Dune.
Bene Gesserit eyes peered below the skin. He was sure they suspected he was a Mentat and he feared how they might interpret that. How could a Mentat expect to hide the fact from Reverend Mothers indefinitely? Foolishness! He knew they already suspected him of Truthsay.
He waved at the comeyes and said: "I'm restless. I think I'll explore."
Bellonda hated it when he took that jocular attitude toward surveillance. She did not like him to roam the ship. She did not try to hide it from him. He could see the unspoken question in her glowering features whenever she came to confront him: "Is he looking for a way to escape?"
Exactly what I'm doing, Bell, but not in the way you suspect.
The no-ship presented him with fixed limits: the exterior forcefield he could not penetrate, certain machinery areas where the drive (so he was told) had been temporarily disabled, guard quarters (he could see into some of them but not enter), the armory, the section reserved to the captive Tleilaxu, Scytale. He occasionally met Scytale at one of the barriers and they peered at each other across the silencing field that held them apart. Then there was the information barrier--sections of Shiprecords that would not respond to his questions, answers his warders would not give.
Within these limits lay a lifetime of things to see and learn, even the lifetime of some three hundred Standard Years he could reasonably expect.
If Honored Matres do not find us.
Idaho saw himself as the game they sought, wanting him even more than they wanted the women of Chapterhouse. He had no illusions about what the hunters would do to him. They knew he was here. The men he trained in sexual bonding and sent out to plague the Honored Matres--those men taunted the hunters.
When the Sisters learned of his Mentat ability they would know immediately that his mind carried the memories of more than one ghola lifetime. The original did not have that talent. They would suspect he was a latent Kwisatz Haderach. Look how they rationed his melange. They were clearly terrified of repeating the mistake they had made with Paul Atreides and his Tyrant son. Thirty-five hundred years of bondage!
But dealing with Murbella required Mentat awareness. He entered every encounter with her not expecting to achieve answers then or later. It was a typical Mentat approach: concentrate on the questions. Mentats accumulated questions the way others accumulated answers. Questions created their own patterns and systems. This produced the most important shapes. You looked at your universe through self-created patterns--all composed of images, words, and labels (everything temporary), all mingled in sensory impulses, that reflected off his internal constructs the way light bounced from bright surfaces.
Idaho's original Mentat instructor had formed the temporary words for that first tentative construct: "Watch for consistent movements against your internal screen."
From that first hesitant dip into Mentat powers, Idaho could trace the growth of a sensitivity to changes in his own observations, always becoming Mentat.
Bellonda was his most severe trial. He dreaded her penetrating gaze and slashing questions. Mentat probing Mentat. He met her forays delicately, with reserve and patience. Now, what are you after?
As if he didn't know.
He wore patience as a mask. But fear came naturally and there was no harm in showing it. Bellonda did not hide her wish to see him dead.
Idaho accepted the fact that soon the watchers would see only one possible source for the skills he was forced to use.
A Mentat's real skills lay in that mental construct they called "the great synthesis." It required a patience that non-Mentats did not even imagine possible. Mentat schools defined it as perseverance. You were a primitive tracker, able to read minuscule signs, tiny disturbances in the environment, and follow where these led. At the same time, you remained open to broad motions all around and within. This produced naivete, the basic Mentat posture, akin to that of Truthsayers but far more sweeping.
"You are open to whatever the universe may do," his first instructor had said. "Your mind is not a computer; it is a response-tool keyed to whatever your senses display."
Idaho always recognized when Bellonda's senses were open. She stood there, gaze slightly withdrawn, and he knew few preconceptions cluttered her mind. His defense lay in her basic flaw: Opening the senses required an idealism that was foreign to Bellonda. She did not ask the best questions and he wondered at this. Would Odrade use a flawed Mentat? It went against her other performances.
I seek the questions that form the best images.
Doing this, you never thought of yourself as clever, that you had the formula to provide the solution. You remained as responsive to new questions as you did to new patterns. Testing, re-testing, shaping and re-shaping. A constant process, never stopping, never satisfied. It was your own private pavane, similar to that of other Mentats but it carried always your own unique posture and steps.
"You are never truly a Mentat. That is why we call it 'The Endless Goal.' "The words of his teachers were burned into his awareness.
As he accumulated observations of Bellonda, he came to appreciate a viewpoint of those great Mentat Masters who had taught him. "Reverend Mothers do not make the best Mentats."
No Bene Gesserit appeared capable of completely removing herself from that binding absolute she achieved in the Spice Agony: loyalty to her Sisterhood.
His teachers had warned against absolutes. They created a serious flaw in a Mentat.
"Everything you do, everything you sense and say is experiment. No deduction final. Nothing stops until de
ad and perhaps not even then, because each life creates endless ripples. Induction bounces within and you sensitize yourself to it. Deduction conveys illusions of absolutes. Kick the truth and shatter it!"
When Bellonda's questions touched on the relationship between himself and Murbella, he saw vague emotional responses. Amusement? Jealousy? He could accept amusement (and even jealousy) about the compelling sexual demands of this mutual addiction. Is the ecstasy truly that great?
He wandered through his quarters this afternoon feeling displaced, as though newly here and not yet accepting these rooms as home. That is emotion talking to me.
Over the years of his confinement, these quarters had taken on a lived-in appearance. This was his cave, the former supercargo suite: large rooms with slightly curved walls--bedroom, library-workroom, sitting room, a green-tiled bath with dry and wet cleansing systems, and a long practice hall he shared with Murbella for exercise.
The rooms bore a unique collection of artifacts and marks of his presence: that slingchair placed at just the right angle to the console and projector linking him to Shipsystems, those ridulian records on that low side table. And there were stains of occupancy--that dark brown blot on the worktable. Spilled food had left its indelible mark.
He moved restlessly into his sleeping quarters. The light was dimmer. His ability to identify the familiar held true for odors. There was a saliva-like smell to the bed--the residue of last night's sexual collision.
That is the proper word: Collision.
The no-ship's air--filtered, recycled and sweetened--often bored him. No break in the no-ship maze to the exterior world ever remained open long. He sometimes sat silently sniffing, hoping for a faint trace of air that had not been adjusted to the prison's demands.
There is a way to escape!
He wandered out of his quarters and down the corridor, took the dropchute at the end of the passage and emerged in the ship's lowest level.
What is really happening out there in that world open to the sky?
The bits Odrade told him about events filled him with dread and a trapped feeling. No place to run! Am I wise to share my fears with Sheeana? Murbella merely laughed. "I will protect you, love. Honored Matres won't hurt me." Another false dream.
But Sheeana ... how quickly she had picked up the hand-language and entered the spirit of his conspiracy. Conspiracy? No ... I doubt that any Reverend Mother will act against her Sisters. Even the Lady Jessica went back to them in the end. But I don't ask Sheeana to act against the Sisterhood, only that she protect us from Murbella's folly.
The enormous powers of the hunters made only the destruction predictable. A Mentat had but to look at their disruptive violence. They brought something else as well, something hinting at matters out there in the Scattering. What were these Futars Odrade mentioned with such casualness? Part human, part beast? That had been Lucilla's guess. And where is Lucilla?
He found himself presently in the Great Hold, the kilometer-long cargo space where they had carried the last giant sandworm of Dune, bringing it to Chapterhouse. The area still smelled of spice and sand, filling his mind with long-ago and the dead far away. He knew why he came so often to the Great Hold, doing it sometimes without even thinking, as he had just done. It both attracted and repelled. The illusion of unlimited space with traces of dust, sand, and spice carried the nostalgia of lost freedoms. But there was another side. This is where it always happened to him.
Will it happen today?
Without warning, the sense of being in the Great Hold would vanish. Then ... the net shimmering in a molten sky. He was aware when the vision came that he was not really seeing a net. His mind translated what the senses could not define.
A shimmering net undulating like an infinite borealis.
Then the net would part and he would see two people--man and woman. How ordinary they appeared and yet extraordinary. A grandmother and grandfather in antique clothing: bib coveralls for the man and a long dress with headscarf for the woman. Working in a flower garden! He thought it must be more of the illusion. I am seeing this but it is not really what I see.
They always noticed him eventually. He heard their voices. "There he is again, Marty," the man would say, calling the woman's attention to Idaho.
"I wonder how it is he can look through?" Marty asked once. "Doesn't seem possible."
"He's spread pretty thin, I think. Wonder if he knows the danger?"
Danger. That was the word that always jerked him out of the vision.
"Not at your console today?"
For just an instant, Idaho thought it was the vision, the voice of that odd woman, then he realized it was Odrade. Her voice came from close behind. He whirled and saw he had failed to close the hatch. She had followed him into the Hold, stalking him quietly, avoiding the scattered patches of sand that might have grated underfoot and betrayed her approach.
She looked tired and impatient. Why did she think I would be at my console?
As though answering his unspoken question, she said: "I find you at your console so often lately. For what do you search, Duncan?"
He shook his head without speaking. Why do I suddenly feel in peril?
It was a rare feeling in Odrade's company. He could remember other occasions, though. Once when she had stared suspiciously at his hands in the field of his console. Fear associated with my console. Do I reveal my Mentat hunger for data? Do they guess that I have hidden my private self there?
"Do I get no privacy at all?" Anger and attack.
She shook her head slowly from side to side as much to say, "You can do better than that."
"This is your second visit today," he accused.
"I must say you're looking well, Duncan." More circumlocution.
"Is that what your watchers say?"
"Don't be petty. I came for a chat with Murbella. She said you'd be down here."
"I suppose you know Murbella's pregnant again." Was that trying to placate her?
"For which we are grateful. I came to tell you that Sheeana wants to visit you again."
Why would Odrade announce that?
Her words filled him with images of the Dune waif who had become a full Reverend Mother (the youngest ever, so they said). Sheeana, his confidante, out there watching over that last great sandworm. Had it finally perpetuated itself? Why should Odrade interest herself in Sheeana's visit?
"Sheeana wants to discuss the Tyrant with you."
She saw the surprise this produced.
"What could I possibly add to Sheeana's knowledge of Leto II?" he demanded. "She's a Reverend Mother."
"You knew the Atreides intimately."
Ahhhhh. She's hunting for the Mentat.
"But you said she wanted to discuss Leto and it's not safe to think of him as Atreides."
"Oh, but he was. Refined into something more elemental than anyone before him, but one of us, nonetheless."
One of us! She reminded him that she, too, was Atreides. Calling in his never-ending debt to the family!
"So you say."
"Shouldn't we stop playing this foolish game?"
Caution gripped him. He knew she saw it. Reverend Mothers were so damnably sensitive. He stared at her, not daring to speak, knowing even this told her too much.
"We believe you remember more than one ghola lifetime." And when he still did not respond, "Come, come, Duncan! Are you a Mentat?"
The way she spoke, as much accusation as question, he knew concealment had ended. It was almost a relief.
"And if I am?"
"The Tleilaxu mixed the cells from more than one Idaho ghola when they grew you."
Idaho-ghola! He refused to think of himself in that abstraction. "Why is Leto suddenly so important to you?" No escaping the admission in that reponse.
"Our worm has become sandtrout."
"Are they growing and propagating?"
"Apparently."
"Unless you contain them or eliminate them, Chapterhouse may become another Dune."
/>
"You figured that out, did you?"
"Leto and I together."
"So you remember many lives. Fascinating. It makes you somewhat like us." How unswerving her stare!
"Very different, I think." Have to get her off that track!
"You acquired the memories during your first encounter with Murbella?"
Who guessed it? Lucilla? She was there and might have guessed, confiding her suspicions to her Sisters. He had to bring the deadly issue into the open. "I'm not another Kwisatz Haderach!"
"You're not?" Studied objectivity. She allowed this to reveal itself, a cruelty, he thought.
"You know I'm not!" He was fighting for his life and knew it. Not so much with Odrade as with those others who watched and reviewed the comeye records.
"Tell me about your serial memories." That was a command from the Mother Superior. No escaping it.