She lifted her fingers to her face and touched the smooth skin below her eye as she shook her head. “No. Jared got rough with me a couple times previously. Normally, when he was coming down off a high or freaking out about how he was going to get his next fix. He hit me once because I was supposed to bring beer to a party and I didn’t and my mom and some co-workers noticed the black eye. One of the guys that works at the bar told Jared if I ever showed up with anything other than a smile on my face, he would make sure that I was the last woman he ever raised his hand to. He left me alone after that.”
“So you knew Mr. Dalton had a substance abuse problem and a history of violence and yet you went with him that night. Why?”
I felt her balk a little and couldn’t resist the urge to look at her. Her eyes were wide in her face and she was very pale. It was obvious she was trying to think of a way to answer that question that explained her convoluted reasoning at the time without giving too much of her story away.
“Because I was scared and he told me he was taking me somewhere safe. I went with him because he was my boyfriend, and as I mentioned earlier, I was pretty sure I was in love with him.”
“Not so sure of those feelings anymore?” The snide question had me narrowing my eyes threateningly at the other end of the table, which made the man smirk at me knowingly.
“Spending a couple nights in jail really does wonders for clarity. I could never love a man that threatened someone I care about with a weapon. Jared was desperate and dangerous that night.”
“And why is that, Ms. Walker?”
She shrugged a little. “Because he stole drugs and money from bad people and they were looking for him.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because before they found him, they found me.” Her tone was cutting and it was obvious that Larsen was starting to get to her.
“Is that so? There are no police reports from you or from anyone else that indicates you had a run-in with these supposed bad people that were after my client.”
“I didn’t want to get Jared in trouble so I didn’t call the police, but you can contact Asa Cross. He came to see me the day after the attack and he can tell you what I looked like. You can also question the landlady from Jared’s apartment complex. She’s the one that scared off the guys that attacked me.”
Larsen leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers on the file in front of him. “Well, you see, Ms. Walker, that’s where we run into some problems with your account of the events that led up to the robbery. The landlady doesn’t recall anyone being in the apartment besides you and my client, and Mr. Cross has an ax to grind considering he was the one at the bar the night of the robbery. The woman he is involved with is also the police officer that shot my client, so his interest in seeing my client incarcerated makes him biased in so many ways. The only person claiming there was an attack prior to the robbery is you, so isn’t it much more likely that you were mad about the bar being sold out from underneath you and coerced your drug-addicted boyfriend to rob it? Knowing he couldn’t say no to money for a fix or to the woman he loved?”
My skin crawled when he mentioned the landlady because I was pretty fucking sure her current memory loss only came about after fistfuls of cash exchanged hands. This guy wasn’t above bribing a witness to get his way and that let me know that this was going to be as ugly and as dirty as it could get.
A broken laugh wheezed out of her as she turned her head in my direction and then jerked it back towards Larsen. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Even if I was mad, which I told you I wasn’t, I would never risk the lives of the people that worked there. I was stupid enough to stay with Jared after the first time he hit me, but I would never inflict him on anyone else. I knew how dangerous he could be when he was high.”
“Is that so?”
She heaved a deep sigh and shook her head. “Yes, it’s so. I mess up and I get myself into bad situations, but I do my best not to let that bleed on to anyone that I care about.”
“So, what happened with Autumn Thompson a few years back?”
She and I both stiffened when he mentioned the girl’s name that had been so instrumental in leading Avett down the path full of self-inflicted wounds and purposeful pain. I heard her breath wheeze out of her in a tortured sound that had my heart cracking right down the middle.
“Autumn took her own life, as I’m sure you are well aware.” I couldn’t keep the razor sharpness out of my tone or the warning. I could typically play these dodge and parry games with the best of them, but with Avett caught in the middle and her composure as the prize I was barely keeping all the things I knew about brutality and violence leashed.
“Ms. Thompson’s parents feel very differently about the matter. They have a lot to say about Ms. Walker and her influence on their daughter. It seems your client is very good at leading other people into trouble and then ducking out while everyone else suffers some very dire consequences.”
“I think my client has a knack for finding lost souls and trying to help them out in her own way and we both know if you put the Thompsons on the stand that Townsend is going to pull them apart. Why would you question the parents and not the boys that actually hurt their daughter? The only people guilty of committing any kind of crime that night were the boys that attacked Autumn. Townsend’s going to ask the parents why they let Autumn spend time with Avett in the first place if they were so concerned about her influence. He’ll question their parenting ability and all the jury is going to see is you bringing up a dead girl and rehashing bad memories. People don’t like being manipulated, Tyrell. It doesn’t go to probable cause at all, and the judge won’t let it go beyond one question. Your sole purpose for bringing that part of my client’s past up is because you wanted to rattle her.”
His eyebrows went up again and that slick-as-shit smile was back on his face. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to let my hands curl into fists where they rested on the arms of the chair.
“You would do the same thing if you were in my position, Counselor. I’m obligated to give my client the best defense possible.”
It irked me because he was right. That was a huge, open, gaping wound that festered and seeped into pretty much every aspect of Avett’s life. It was her major weak point and every attorney, no matter what side of the law they were on, learned to go straight for that spot when dealing with anyone on the stand.
Suddenly, Avett straightened up in her seat and she reached out to grab my forearm. Her head turned in my direction and her multicolored eyes popped open so wide they seemed to take up half of her face. “Asa wasn’t alone when he came to see me the day after the attack. His sister was in town visiting and she was with him.”
“My client is accused of robbing her brother at gunpoint. Her testimony would be as suspect as Mr. Cross’s.” Larsen’s tone was sharper than it had been and his gaze had narrowed at our end of the table. It was the first time since we entered the room that some of the smug satisfaction that surrounded him slipped.
I snorted and leaned forward so that I could put a forearm on the glass tabletop. “Right, the brother and the sister and my client are all conspiring to set your client up and to send him to jail. Sounds like there is witness testimony available that backs up my client’s story that your client ripped off his suppliers and was desperate for money, leading to my client being shaken down and roughed up. The robbery was clearly his idea.”
“This witness isn’t on the prosecution’s list and hasn’t been vetted.”
It was my turn to smirk and flash some teeth. “It’s called discovery for a reason, Tyrell. I’ll be sure to send Townsend this new information, as soon as we leave.”
We had a vicious stare-down for several long minutes until Larsen moved forward and closed the file in front of him with more force than the task required. “I think that’s all for me today, Ms. Walker.”
Avett let out an audible sound of relief, but I could see by the predatory look in the other m
an’s eyes he was far from done with her or with me.
“Thank you for your time. I want to remind you that when you are on that stand, nothing, and I do mean nothing, is off-limits. I can ask you about your past, including the men in it, and I can ask you about your current circumstances. I’m sure McNair and Duvall will be thrilled to have their firm’s name tied to a felony robbery case when it hits the press that one of their top litigators is sleeping with one of the witnesses. I can discredit both of you, with the right innuendo and the right wording. We both know exactly how to do that, don’t we, Jackson? You’ll have no chance of making partner when this trial is over. That’s a promise.”
The other attorney swept out of the room and before I could tell Avett not to give a second thought to his idle threats she was on her feet and moving out of the conference room after him. I called her name but she didn’t even look back as her small body artfully moved in and out of the rush of people coming and going in the busy courthouse. She hit the glass entrance doors without slowing down and only stopped when I caught up to her a few hundred feet from the entrance. I put my hand on her elbow and spun her around to face me and felt my heart had split open when I noticed she was crying and that her lush bottom lip was quivering.
I didn’t think. I didn’t deliberate the pros and cons. I didn’t rationalize that it wasn’t the time or place. All I could do was react. My girl was hurting and I wanted to make it stop, so I pulled her to me and put my lips over hers and tried to kiss the pain away.
At first, she yielded soft and sweet, her return kiss a delicate surrender. Unfortunately, it quickly turned from something warm and comforting into something that felt more like combat. She jerked her head away from mine and then her hand cracked across my cheek with enough force to have my head snapping to the side. She gasped in shock at the same time I barked her name. She lifted the shaking fingers of one hand to her mouth and put the others on what I was sure was a violent red welt that was rising on my cheek. I could feel her shaking and remorse all the way through my body.
“I’m so sorry, Quaid. Oh, my God, what is wrong with me?” She took a step back and I saw fresh tears start to spill out of her wild and terrified eyes.
“Avett.” I said her name with patience I wasn’t feeling, especially when I caught sight of a familiar blonde woman watching our interaction with open curiosity as she talked on the phone pressed to her ear.
“No, Quaid. I’m super sorry I hit you. I’m shaken up and heartsick but that isn’t an excuse. I never seem to be able to do the right thing or react the right way, even when I really want to. I feel terrible but maybe it’s for the best. It looks like we’re having an epic breakup and that means your bosses won’t get on your case and maybe it’ll keep that viper of an attorney off of your back. Walk away from me, Quaid. Walk away from this entire mess before it’s too late and your entire future is gone.”
I reached for her again but she evaded my grasp and shook her head violently from side to side. “I’m serious. I’m always going to be the girl that jumps, Quaid. I’m going to jump not knowing what’s below. I’m going to jump even when I know the water is cold and that it’s dangerous. I’m going to jump when I know the risks and when I don’t know them. I’m going to jump even when I know the landing is going to hurt. You said yourself that you’re not the kid who jumps anymore because it lost its appeal. You know better and maybe I do, too, but I’m still going to jump because that’s who I am. Who I am is not going to ruin you, Quaid. I won’t let it.”
She looked like she was ready to bolt after she tossed her revelations at me. I put my hands in my pockets and studied her thoughtfully. “Did you ever think that I was ruined when you found me and that you’ve been instrumental in reconstructing me? I wasn’t living any kind of life before you blew into it, Avett. My wife left me after starting a family with someone that wasn’t me, even though I gave her everything I was capable of. My parents practically disowned me because they didn’t approve of the way I wanted to live my life. I have a job that is getting increasingly difficult to stomach, and all I have to show for it is a nice wardrobe and a killer view. Everything was all for show and there wasn’t a single real thing until you. I told you that your chaos doesn’t scare me.” But her wild terrified me because I knew there was no way to harness the wind and she looked like she was getting ready to blow out of my life as quickly as she had careened into it.
She put a hand to her chest and pulled her watery gaze away from mine. “But it scares me. There are very few people in this world that I want to protect from the kind of mayhem I bring with me and you are one of them. I love you, Quaid. I didn’t want to but I do, and that means I’m going to let you go.”
I wanted to shake her and hold her to me and never let go. I wanted to throw every argument I could think of at her to keep her from making this mistake. I wanted to pick her words apart and put them back together into ones I wanted to hear. I wanted to focus on the fact she said she loved me, not the fact that she was leaving, but she turned around and started moving away from me, which made that impossible to do.
“Avett.” She pulled up short and shot me a look full of sorrow and sadness over her shoulder. “This is a bad decision you don’t have to make. You don’t have to protect me from you or anything that comes with being with you. I’m a big boy.”
She gave a shuddering sigh and I saw the finality of her decision stamped all over her expressive face. “That’s the thing, Counselor. This feels way too much like the right decision. And I’m not protecting you from me. I’m protecting you from yourself, and the things you’ll lose if you love me back.”
Her words hit me hard, and all of the feelings and emotions she had stirred to life inside of me got so big and so out of control that I felt like they were going to consume me. I wanted to give her so much, everything I had, and none of it had a dollar sign attached to it. I knew I could tell her that, throw words at her until I was blue in the face, and that I could lawyer-speak my way around her argument and fear that she would hurt me by being with me, but words felt like they were too simple and could be too easily misconstrued. I was going to have to show her she was worth everything to me and then some.
I’d worked hard at my education because I knew it was my ticket out. I’d worked hard to distance myself from my childhood and from having nothing because I knew I wanted more out of life than the basics. I worked my ass off to establish myself in my career and to be considered a force to be reckoned with in the courtroom and in the bedroom because I wanted to be the best and I wanted everyone to know it. I put up a reasonable fight to save my marriage before I realized it was all a sham and I battled through my divorce so I could keep all the things I thought were the most important to me.
Watching Avett walk away from me for my own good, I realized I needed to work and fight like I never had before because I wasn’t willing to let her go. This was a battle I wasn’t going to lose because to do so meant losing her. She was everything I wanted and all that I never knew I needed. I could put in all of my effort for her because she was more valuable than anything I owned and worth more to me than how many wins in the courtroom I could brag about. She finally managed to show me what was really important in life and what I had been missing from what felt like the very beginning. I needed someone to love me for me and for what I had or didn’t have. I needed someone to support me because what was important to me was important to them since they cared about me. Avett did all of that without a second thought and I knew, deep down into the fibers that made me the man that I was, that she was the only person I was capable of giving my all to, because she deserved everything I had to give … even though she never asked for any of it.
I knew if I wanted to keep her I was going to have to show her and prove to her that she wasn’t my ruin. She was my salvation.
She jumped, and I was going to have to show her that I was willing to be the guy that jumped after her.
CHAPTER 17
Avett
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I was glad I had refused to let anyone go with me to the deposition even if digging in my heels about it had made my dad extragrouchy and my mom supernervous. I knew I was going to be shaky and off balance after the interrogation from Jared’s lawyer and I knew that I was going to be a total mess after being around Quaid. I was right on both counts and it was taking everything I had not to crumple into a useless ball of broken heart and rivers of tears on the sidewalk in front of the courthouse. I made my way to the street while wiping ineffectively at the mascara that I was sure was running over my cheeks like sad war paint and hailed a cab.
My dad was home waiting for a status report and surprisingly my mom had opted to take the day off and wait with him. Her wanting to be around for moral support and to offer a hug after what was undoubtedly going to be a bad day was a testament to how much our relationship had changed and improved now that both our stories were out there in the open. We would never have the typical mother/daughter relationship and I would always very much be my father’s daughter, but it was nice to know that my mom and I had been able to find a way to a better relationship, despite the roadblocks we’d both thrown up. Getting to a place where I could let my mom love me and love her back was instrumental in me finding my way to forgiveness and understanding myself and both of our past misdeeds.
Walking away from Quaid for good had me feeling lower than I ever had, and knowing there was nothing on this Earth or beyond that could make me feel any worse than I did at that moment, I decided it was finally time for me to try and make amends with the one person I hadn’t been able to face since I put the wheels of this entire debacle in motion all those months ago. It was time to put on my big-girl panties and try to make things right with Rome Archer. I knew I was going to squirm and falter under that unwavering blue gaze that cataloged and weighed every single move I made, but it was time. Because even if he refused to accept my apology, even if he didn’t want my story and the honest compunction that came along with it, I would walk away knowing I had done the right thing with one less anchor tied to my soul. Rome was important to my dad, which by default made him important to me, but I knew now that even if the big, scarred man couldn’t forgive me, I couldn’t carry that around for the rest of my life. I needed to have my hands free to catch any of the good stuff that I was fortunate to have come my way, and that meant I couldn’t keep my hands full of the garbage and negativity I had been clutching like a lifeline for so long.