"I want you to get your sister and get as far away from this thing as you can."
I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder, my brain firing while searching for a solution. "Am?lie seems to have some kind of hold over Rafe. I can't explain, but I think she makes him? better. Maybe she can convince him-"
Rowan put his hand over mine and squeezed. "Trust me. Get your sister and find Sasha. She knows a safe place to take you both tonight."
"What about you?" My hand was shaking.
"I have to go. He's my brother."
I nodded. "Okay, let's head back. I'm not going to tell Am?lie what's happening until Sasha has us safely away. She'll want to go to him, to do her best to stop this. Before we go, are you sure you don't want her-"
He shook his head. "If it's not tonight, it'd be later. Hemming and Rafe won't be able to co-exist. Our nature is to have only one alpha. Anyway, we better get back." He turned back toward the house, but hesitated. Without facing me, he added, "Thanks for listening. I really appreciate it."
"Of course."
With that, we took off. Once we arrived back at the house, he stopped at the edge of the driveway and wished me luck. Then, he was gone. I headed inside and ran into Sasha. She motioned for me to come with her. Although I was anxious to find my sister, I knew talking to Sasha first was a good move.
Sneaking out was wearing me down. Not only was I exhausted, I hated deceiving my sister. Yet, every time he called me, I answered.
This evening was no different.
As I walked to his room, he met me halfway. "Do you trust me?"
Could he really doubt that at this point? "Of course."
He took my hand and led me outside. "Let's go where nobody can find us."
Worry took over. What if Madeleine woke up and wondered where I was? Would she go searching? My gut told me she knew I was sneaking off to see Rafe, but she might still come looking. I was worried Rafe would get upset if I shared my doubts, so I nodded and followed.
We walked about half a mile. It was dark, so I stayed close to Rafe's side. When we came up to a group of trees, Rafe pushed aside some branches and pulled away a tarp. Underneath was a motorcycle.
"Ever been on one?" he asked.
"No."
He got on and patted the seat. I threw a leg over and put my arms around his waist, holding on for dear life. Soon, it roared to life and we were off. I closed my eyes. There was little to see thanks to the cloudy night, and I settled in close to him.
We came to a stop, and I opened my eyes. In front of us was a small concrete building; it looked like a crypt of some kind. Fear prickled at the back of my neck. "Where are we?"
Without a word, he led me inside and turned on a light. Now I could see it was more like a bunker. He opened a door, which led to a staircase, and we walked down. Madeleine would be yelling at me for my foolish choices if she knew. She was always the one who screamed at the characters in horror movies for being so stupid, saying they deserved to die-survival of the fittest and all.
With each step into total darkness, my trepidation escalated. Just as I was about to ask to go back home, Rafe led me into another lit room.
"Very few people know about this place," he said, motioning me to a couple of chairs. We sat, and he took my hands. "Hemming has no clue how to lead us. Hard choices have to be made sometimes. I don't like making them, but we can't just sit by and wait for the battle to come to us. I won't lose anyone else I care about."
"He seems to respect you. Can you talk to him?"
"Actually, he values my brother more. Just like my dad did. Rowan tends to be the thinker, where I'm all about action. Hemming is too old and too soft to do what needs to be done."
Anger flowed from his body, and I did my best to push through it and calm him.
"My mom was the only other person who ever believed in me." He leaned in and kissed me, long and hard. When he pulled back, he stared into my eyes and stroked my face. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Nobody had ever needed me like he did, and I could empathize about being the second best sibling. Although I knew Mom and Dad loved me, they always seemed to see more potential in Madeleine.
"I'll do whatever it takes to keep our pack safe and protect our interests. Ultimately, if that means fighting for the alpha role, then I'll do what I have to do."
Now it was my turn for intense emotions. I couldn't lose him, and it terrified me how far he'd go. Hemming had been the leader for quite a while from what I understood, and I doubted he'd step aside easily. Afraid I'd appear too clingy, I didn't often tell Rafe my feelings, but maybe it would help him to know.
"I can't lose you. I love you," I said, letting my head drop because I was terrified I wouldn't see in his eyes what I needed to. We'd never exchanged these words.
He placed his hand under my chin and gently pushed it up, forcing me to look at him.
"I love you, too."
My heart leapt at his declaration, and I wrapped my arms around him. His words played over and over in my head, as if on a constant loop. I'd never forget them.
Without pulling away, he continued, "No matter what you hear others say, I need you to believe my truth. If you have questions or fears, come to me. I don't handle betrayal well." His grip on me tightened, and my breathing became strained.
"I'd never betray you." I hoped the words would reassure him and cause him to relax his hold. When he did, the air rushed out of me.
He stood and checked his watch. "We should get back." I nodded and took his outstretched hand.
We wound our way back upstairs. Once we were outside, I started toward the motorcycle.
"Oh, and one other thing," he said from behind me. I turned to look at him. "Don't ever try and leave me."
I shook my head in answer.
"Promise me."
"I promise," I said.
For the whole ride back, I considered the events of the evening. It was a night I'd never forget.
He loved me.
Still, as much as I tried to focus on those words, I couldn't completely overlook the intensity of his warnings.
I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I wanted more than anything to share my joy with Madeleine, but she wasn't around. Thinking she'd gone for a run, I decided to grab a snack.
All that sounded good was a bagel and some coffee, so I grabbed those and headed for the back porch. There, I found Madeleine and Sasha chatting.
"Oh, there you are. I thought you might be out for a run or something," I said. "Do you mind if I join you?"
"Actually, I need to get going," Sasha said. She gave Madeleine a quick pat on the back. I couldn't help but notice the sadness in my sister's eyes. If I had to guess, she and Sasha had been in a pretty deep conversation.
Madeleine and I were the only two left on the porch.
"I know it's none of my business, but I hope you're being careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"I love him."
It was my turn to break eye contact. I needed her to know, because hiding it from her was killing me. I braced for her opinion. Instead, she stood up, gathered her stuff, and left.
Rafe's words had filled a balloon of love in my heart, and Madeleine burst it. My appetite was gone, so I decided to go for a stroll and clear my head.
No amount of walking helped, although I only stayed gone about twenty minutes before exhaustion set in. When I got back to our room, it was empty.
Desperate for distraction, I ventured into the library room. Sasha had shown it to me a few days prior. I looked for my favorite book, Depression Cookies, and found it. Clutching it to my chest, I returned to our room.
I hadn't been reading very long when Madeleine returned. Then, Sasha arrived and urged us to hurry.
***
Once we were a safe distance from the battleground, Am?lie demanded to know what we were doing. I explained the best I could what Rowan had told me.
"I can't let this happen," she said, transforming.
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It was the first time I'd ever seen her do it. She took off, but she was no match for my speed. I caught up within a quarter of a mile and rammed into her, sending her sliding across the clearing.
"Don't do this. We can't help them. Rowan did the best he could under the circumstances. It's the same thing I would've done for you." I sent the words to her. "Rafe would want you safe. Hopefully, we'll know something soon."
She shifted back, and I did the same.
"Rafe's on the edge, and I don't want to lose him."
Both of us stood there naked in the raw moment.
Sasha tossed us a couple of blankets. "Good thing I packed a couple of bags, not knowing how long we'd be out here."
We huddled under our new covering and sat in a circle.
"I know we have different opinions about Rafe, but-"
"You don't know him like I do," Am?lie said, cutting me off.
I rolled my shoulders back and reminded myself this was the first time she'd ever been in love. She was under his spell, and trashing him would only turn her against me. If she could rationalize away what happened in the last battle, I knew she was completely blinded by her feelings. I pushed back the images in my mind of just how well I knew him. Every time I thought back to those moments now, even though it was something I wanted desperately at the time, I felt sick. How could I blame her-or condemn her-for being so wrong, when I'd made the same mistake?
Sasha must have sensed the awkwardness, because she took a turn. "I've known him for a while, and he's always been volatile. I don't doubt his alpha-ness, but Hemming doesn't deserve the fate that'll most likely befall him tonight."
In the silence following her statement, I could hear the wind whistling.
I preferred action to waiting, and I wished there was something we could do. "Any word yet from Rowan or Ricardo?"
"No." Sasha stood up, fiddling with a branch she'd picked up while she was sitting. Then, she froze.
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
"I have an intense feeling, like nothing I've ever experienced. I'm going to shift and check the perimeter."
Once in wolf-form, she took off.
"It wasn't that long ago, I'd have been terrified to be caught out in the woods at night," Am?lie said.
"True. Now we're hiding while our new family fights against each other."
"You blame Rafe," she said.
I hesitated. A huge part of me wanted to shake some sense into her, but blasting Rafe wouldn't accomplish anything. At the end of the day, I loved my sister, and I didn't want to cause her pain. "I don't blame Rafe; I just think he needs to calm down his approach. Hemming put a lot of trust in Rowan and Rafe, and there was no need for this to come to a head. Rafe should've-"
"From what you've told me, this was Hemming's choice. Heck, if Rowan hadn't told Rafe, Rafe's the one who'd be in danger."
Her trust in him ran deeper than I thought, but her words did hold some truth: Hemming forced this to a head.
I heard a rustling in the trees and moved closer to Am?lie. "Did you hear that?"
She didn't answer but pinned her body to mine.
Then, Sasha came bursting into the area. I let out the breath I was holding.
"What happened? Is Rafe okay?" Am?lie asked.
No obvious concern for Rowan, Ricardo, or any of the other pack members. If I doubted how far gone she was about Rafe before, I knew now.
"It's over. Hemming's dead," Sasha said, her eyes wide. "Sounds like Rafe is the new alpha. We need to hurry back to the house. We don't want anyone to think we ran. Plus, I'm sure there'll be lots to discuss."
Hemming was dead, and Rafe was responsible.
No matter how much I tried to ignore my doubts, I worried how Rafe's new command would change him; how it would change us.
Sasha, Madeleine, and I raced back to the house. By the time we got there, people were already gathering in the living room.
Ricardo greeted us in the foyer when we entered. "Glad you ladies are back. Most of us raced back as soon as we could. Rafe wants a meeting with everyone, and he would've noticed you ladies not being here."
"That's what we figured," Sasha said.
"Is he okay?" I asked. It felt selfish, considering Hemming was dead, but I had to know.
Madeleine grabbed my arm and pulled me aside before Ricardo could answer. "Let's show some respect for what was lost tonight. Obviously Rafe's okay if he's calling meetings."
I yanked my arm back, knowing I'd have a bruise there tomorrow. Words formed in my head, but I couldn't get them out of my mouth before she walked away. Familiar faces raced around the halls, and most seemed to stare at me. Or maybe I was becoming paranoid.
Wanting to clear my head, I stepped outside and sat on the front porch. It was nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of activity, even for a moment. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. An unpleasant scent wafted over me. Any hope of settling down evaporated, and I opened my eyes, stood, and tried to find the source of the smell. I caught a flash of movement and then another. A wolf crept over, its red eyes boring into me.
I took a step backward, closer to the front door. Both times I'd encountered these beings before it hadn't gone well. As it edged toward the stairs, it growled and bared its teeth. Then, it lifted its nose in the air and whined. I placed one foot on the step and then another, drawn to the animal but still cautious. When I got to the bottom, it sat. I'd only seen these types of wolves calm down around Rafe.
"Guess he likes you."
Rafe's voice came out of nowhere, and I stumbled and fell back onto the stairs. He scooped me up. "Sorry."
I threw my arms around his neck. "You startled me, but I'm glad you're okay."
He put me down. "We need to get inside."
My life took a drastic turn the day vampires invaded my house. I could only imagine how my life would change now.
***
Rafe's meeting was quick and to the point. He was the new leader. Nobody talked when it was over, and the silence spoke volumes.
Am?lie and I retreated to our room without exchanging a word. Everyone was processing. I was, too, but about much more than the change in leadership and the possible consequences.
Even though I already knew, could even hear the little heartbeat drumming in my head, I had to have proof. There was no way I could disappear to the drug store without drawing attention to myself. Everything was a powder keg right now, and my absence would be a devastating spark.
Then it hit me. Sasha. She'd know what to do. I couldn't share anything with my sister, not yet. This news would devastate her. As exhausted as I was, it took me hours to finally go to sleep.
Morning came before I was ready. I needed to find Sasha, so I walked down to the basement and made my way to her room. Her door was open, and I saw her sitting at her desk.
"Mind if I come in?" I asked, noticing Ricardo wasn't there.
She threw a hand to her chest. A pang of regret stabbed at me. The poor girl had so much on her mind; we all did.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Do you have a second?"
"Sure," she said, pushing back from her desk and standing. "Guess I'm just a little jumpy these days."
"Totally understandable." I clicked the door shut. "I need your help."
She came over and put an arm around me. "Anything."
"I think I'm pregnant, but I need to take a test to know for sure." No sense in beating around the bush.
Again, her hand went to her heart. "Oh, God."
I hung my head. "I know."
"Stay here. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"What do I say if anyone asks where you went?" There was too much at stake to draw Rafe's attention.
"Tell them Ricardo and I went to patrol the South border. It was our assignment soon anyway, so they'll think we left early. I'll grab Ricardo to go with me. I'll slip back when I can with what you need and then go back to patrol duty." She hesitated before reaching out to rub my upper arm. "Han
g in there, honey."
Then, she was gone. I didn't know what to do with myself. As much as I wanted to reach out to Rowan, I couldn't until I knew for sure. If only Mom were here. She'd know what to do. For any other issue, I would've gone straight to Am?lie. How could I look my sister in the face and tell her I was pregnant with Rafe's baby, the man she loved beyond all reason? I shook off the thought. Until I had undeniable proof, I needed to quiet my mind.
I decided to go back to my room and fidget until Sasha returned. Since Hemming's death, the house had a heavy air. Everybody was on edge and somber, and it felt hard to breathe. For some, his death was like losing a father. For others, there was an uncertainty about Rafe and what his plans were for their future. Where else did any of us really have to go?
If I didn't have Rowan, and his contacts in the werewolf world, I would've simply transferred my allegiance from Hemming to Rafe. I thanked God again for bringing Rowan into my life. Maybe I should try to reach out to my dad. He'd know what to do. Not about the pregnancy, but about the politics of our new life. I couldn't allow myself to believe he was dead, since I'd already lost so much.
Sasha returned about an hour later with what I needed. I went into the bathroom and took the test. Three of the longest minutes in my life resulted in several more of crying. I turned on the shower to drown out my sobs. Life grew inside me, but with it came fear and dread. Rafe would use it against me. It? What a horrible thing to think. Yet, I knew with every fiber of my being it was cursed by evil. I couldn't bring part of Rafe into the world. Then, everything was clear. I had to get rid of it. Turning off the water, I walked over to the mirror, rubbed away the fog, and looked at my reflection. I could do this. I had to do this.
When I pushed open the door, Sasha was there. She looked at me, and pulled me into a hug.
"I'm here for you," she whispered as she squeezed me tighter. She pulled back and wiped away a few of my tears. "You need to tell Rowan. We can't stay here any longer."
Her words didn't shock me-I'd been thinking along the same lines-but how was I going to convince Rowan and my sister to leave?
Sasha seemed to sense my conflict, because she pulled me into her room and detailed why she and Ricardo were leaving. She'd seen too much, and she also knew Rafe and Rowan's backstory. She said he'd tell me when he was ready and convinced me I was key to him leaving.