Part One: Nick
Just two weeks after that night and we were on our way to Keswick in the beautiful Lake District. It’s undoubtedly an area of outstanding beauty and I would be happy to live there had I not chosen to live in Rousillon and, initially, Stoke Newington in London. I found us a little cottage from the small ads in the small village of Troutbeck, which was very reasonable for that time of year, and was situated with easy access to all the lakes. The cottage was not exactly picture postcard with a thatched roof and roses around the door but it was clean, comfortable and very well equipped, including a bloody huge satellite dish in the garden which rather spoiled the view.
During the two weeks prior to that, I passed my driving test. The date had gone clean out of my mind; like many people, I keep a diary but never refer to it. There was a rush the week before to book up some extra lessons. I was fairly confident and Eamon suggested I get myself a car immediately to take the test in rather than the driving school vehicle. He knew of an auction in North London and we attended. With the help of a mechanic from the Automobile Association, I purchased a dark blue, three-year-old Sierra and Eamon was the named driver.
I passed with flying colours and we shared the driving to the lakes. We had not been able to rent a house at the seaside but the lakes were the next best thing. Sally was also very excited about me driving and thought she had better keep shouting instructions to me just in case I forgot.
The cottage had two bedrooms, one with a double bed for Eamon and me, and a twin-bedded room for the girls. Over the two weeks prior to that, Eamon had stayed the night a number of times and Sally now accepted him as part of her world. They were getting along exceptionally well and Eamon never seemed to tire of her.
I now saw Imogen in a totally different light. It had not occurred to me that she could be a lesbian but, then, why should it have done? It certainly made things much simpler and we were able to talk about things more openly, like relationships and expectations of life. Her English improved considerably because of the effort I was then making, though I must confess I was rather guilty of previously only looking on her as a child minder for Sally.
That week away from London was the best thing for all of us, especially for Eamon, though at that time I had no idea about Bulmer. We had reasonably good weather and managed quite a bit of walking each day. That meant that Sally was tired by the early evening and went to bed early. She was a little disappointed that there were no rainbows to chase.
Eamon speaks reasonably good German and assisted Imogen when she was unsure of the word or term to use. On the second evening, after Sally had been tucked in by all three of us, Imogen told us about her childhood in Stuttgart. She had been having a relationship with one of the girls in her school who was a year older, and their respective parents found out. Christina, her lover, came from a strict Methodist family and her father was a part-time preacher. They believed that the relationship their daughter was having was down to the fact that the devil was paying them back for conceiving her the week before they were married. Christina was immediately taken on a camping trip to Bavaria so that her soul could be cleansed in the spa waters. That meant cold baths twice a day and prayer sessions every evening for three weeks. Imogen was almost in tears as she told us.
Her parents, on the other hand, took it slightly better but, to avoid a public scandal – in other words, the neighbours finding out – she was packed off to England as an au pair in the hope it would all be forgotten. It turned out not to be the case as they wrote to each other through one of the teachers who was also gay. She told us that when she eventually returned to Germany, they would both be old enough to ignore the parents and set up home together in Frankfurt or Dusseldorf.
Eamon suggested that she ask Christina to come and stay with us in London. It seemed like a good idea but Imogen did not think it would be allowed, though she said she would write and see if anything could be arranged.
Eamon and I slept together for the whole week and Sally would come into our room in the morning and sleep with us for at least half an hour. Every day there was something exciting for her, especially as it was her first holiday. Initially I was uneasy about her seeing Eamon and me together and so close, but to her it was perfectly natural and I became more relaxed when Eamon touched me in her presence. It’s only adults who find the idea of two men or women sleeping together disgusting, which is rather odd as the majority of time that’s all gay people do.
Toward the end of the week I wondered what things would be like when we returned to London. If the grandparents questioned Sally carefully, she would innocently spill the beans on our little set-up and then, I presumed, all hell would be let loose. However, I was becoming much stronger and the closer I got to Eamon, the less I cared about other people’s reactions.
I woke early on the Thursday morning after a fairly mixed alcoholic evening to find Eamon staring down at me in the bed. It was still too early for Sally to be awake.
“You know I love you ... don’t you?” he asked.
I smiled.
“It makes things rather awkward for me now though,” he continued. “How can I go back to France and leave you here?”
I’d been avoiding that for some time.
“How do you think it makes me feel?” I asked. “I suppose you do have to go back, do you?”
“Yes. I’m still tied to a contract for another two years; there’s no way I can be released from it. But I’ll be able to return to London at the end of each term. That is, of course, if you still want me.”
I snuggled closer.
“What do you think?”
“Besides, there are other things I need to do in Paris so I need to return.”
“And what are the other things to be done?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing really.” He turned away. “Just deliver some documents and write a few reports.”
“But that sort of thing can be done from here.”
“No, it ... they can’t be. Anyway I’ll tell you all about it some other time. It’s very boring.”
“But I don’t find anything you do boring.”
He became slightly anxious.
“Nick, I’m not quite as innocent as you think I might be. There are some skeletons in my closet, you know, and before long I’ll tell you all about them. But not now.”
I pulled myself up on my elbows.
“Ah, so I don’t really know the real you?” I asked
“Something like that. But let’s drop the subject. I can hear the girls.”
He stepped out of bed and slipped on some jogging shorts. His backside was beautiful, lightly tanned and very small. I loved resting my hand on it. But then I loved him.
He was being slightly evasive here, which was out of character. However, he was entitled to a little privacy and I knew that whatever had happened in his past would be acceptable to me.
We returned to London on the Friday and he agreed to tackle Chrissie and Peter about our relationship. We agreed that he would handle it and I was relieved. He went straight in to see them when we got back to the flat and said he would come over later. I knew there would be many questions to answer and did not expect to see him for quite some time.
It was me who was more surprised that anyone. At 8 p.m. that evening the doorbell rang and all four of them were standing on the step with smiles all over their faces. I was embarrassed. Annette and Sally went off to the bedroom to play and I got the glasses out as they had brought some wine. Imogen was in her room writing to her girlfriend.
Eamon had sat them both down to tell them but it had not been any great shock. Peter had already realised and had mentioned it to Chrissie. She was initially uncertain but, having spoken about it for over an hour, she found the whole situation acceptable and rather amusing.
They hadn’t really known Maggie when she was alive. They saw her in the street a couple of times on her way to the shops or taking Sally as a baby out in the pram but I didn’t get to know them until after he
r death. I point this out as I think it was probably why they accepted our relationship so readily. Things might have been different had they known her.
During that period, I was so wrapped up in my own life that I hadn’t given a second thought to others. Chrissie and Peter were going through a very rough period then and had their own problems to think about rather than ours. The signs were there, but I either ignored them or perhaps I didn’t want to get involved.
From then on things were much easier or at least for the next three weeks before Eamon had to leave. He had virtually moved in and it took some of the weight of looking after Sally from Imogen and me. I trusted him with her totally.
During those weeks, we went out to various gay establishments and a couple of dinner parties with other gay couples whom Eamon knew. Things became a little more difficult when the parents visited and Eamon would have to disappear. On one occasion, Maggie’s parents turned up unexpectedly when he was staying for supper. I think they must have thought he was after Imogen and we didn’t tell them otherwise.
I tried hard to put the idea that he was leaving out of my mind. It was nearly September and all we had agreed on was that he would spend the Christmas holiday with Sally and me. Imogen would be returning to Germany for the festivities and Sally could be shared between the parents, allowing us some time together.
But how the hell was I going to get through the next three months?