The following day I felt uneasy about the whole situation but also quite euphoric. It was a fairly quiet day at work and it allowed me a little time to think things over. There was no doubt that after all I had been through over the past couple of years I was ready for a relationship in my life as the basic fabric of responsibility for Sally and a mortgage were all organised. But did I want it and did I expect it with another man? And was Eamon what I was looking for? After all, he would shortly be returning to France and our commitment to each other had not yet been defined. And then there was the introduction to the gay scene, this world that I had no idea existed. Eamon told me of many bars, pubs, restaurants, cafes and clubs all run by and for gay men and women and it fascinated me. It was like going through a familiar door and finding a whole new universe on the other side that you were not aware of but would be welcomed into.
But whether I was going to have a relationship with a man or a woman, the real tangle was did I want or need a relationship with anyone? After all, things were going well at work, and Sally was adorable and gave me most of what I needed. My domestic arrangements were all working well and I was still pining for Maggie.
There seemed to be way too much to consider but just riding it for the time being seemed to be the most positive option. I played it by ear and decided to take it all as it came rather than dwell on it. After all, we had still only known each other a matter of days and I was possibly jumping on a fictitious bandwagon.
He came around to the flat on Wednesday and Thursday evenings after we had eaten. The more I saw of him, the more I wanted him and we’d sneak a quick kiss or caress in the kitchen before Sally or Imogen came rushing in. Maggie’s parents also came over on the Thursday. It was Sally’s birthday the following week and they asked if they could take her out for the day and buy her a tracksuit as she’d said she wanted one. Normally I would not have been too happy about this. A young child with a tracksuit? Was it really necessary? However, it was the perfect opportunity to spend some time with Eamon and especially as Imogen was going to be away. I agreed that they could take her out and rather bravely suggested how they might take it a stage further.
“Why not take her out and then let her stay the night at your place?” I said.
Their eyes lit up and they were taken aback. I would not have suggested something like that before. I lied and said that I wouldn’t mind a little time on my own or even have a few work colleagues over for a meal.
It was settled.
They asked if I was sure and I explained that everything was okay and that I was a great deal more settled and confident now.
They would be over on Saturday morning to collect her. Sally was overjoyed and ran off to pack her new rucksack even though it was only Thursday.
Eamon dropped by on Friday evening. He’d arranged to see some friends that evening and wanted to know if we could spend some time together over the weekend. I told him the good news and he said he’d be over on Saturday afternoon when Imogen had gone out with her friends. I was uncertain about her plans but decided to worry about that later.
We kissed goodnight and I watched him walk down the street. I was jealous of the fact that his company was being granted to others. I wondered what his friends were like and if I would ever meet them.
It was soon after that I did meet them and the last thing they could be called were friends.
They say that all of us have a dark side, a closet with one, two or even full of skeletons. I was shortly to find out what Eamon’s were.