“So what do you do for a living, Meagan?”
Grayson moaned. “Mom, really? You’re going to start grilling her?”
“No! I’m just curious.”
With a giggle, I looked at Grayson and shook my head. “It’s fine. I don’t mind at all.” Turning back to Ashley, I took a sip of my water and set it down in front of me. “I have a masters degree in social work. My specialty is clinical therapeutic services. I work for a non-profit company that deals a lot with schools. I mainly focus on middle school and high school kids with bullying.”
Ashley’s eyes rose. “Really? I think that’s amazing. Grayson helped start a program for young boys from troubled homes.”
With a smile, I turned to Grayson as his face blushed. “Yes, I know. I’ve worked with them a lot.”
“What made you decide that was the field you wanted?”
I moved about nervously in my seat. I rarely talked about what had happened to me when I was at Baylor. “Well, unfortunately, I had my fair share of bullying in college.”
Ashley’s eyes pinched together as she reached across the table and took my hand in hers. I was touched by the action more than I wanted to admit. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Was it bad?”
The lump in my throat formed as I tried like hell to push it down. With a fake smile, I nodded. “At times, but it made me a better counselor, so I’d like to think it was all worth it.”
I stole a peek over to Grayson who was watching me intently.
“What made you decide to move to Durango?”
“Mom, I think you’ve grilled Meg enough today.”
With a chuckle, I waved Grayson off. “It’s totally fine. I’m an open book.”
Grayson lifted his eyebrows and smiled. Turning away from him, I focused back on his mother. “My sister and a few friends of mine came up for a girls trip the summer before my senior year. I fell in love with it and knew I had to move here.”
“Meg and I actually kind of met during that trip.”
“Kind of?” Ashley asked with a confused face.
Grayson’s eyes burned with desire as our stare locked. I was instantly taken back again for the second time to him up on that damn bar dancing. Looking away, I cleared my throat. “He actually met one of my best friends, Lauren. Then come to find out Noah was dating my other best friend, Grace.”
Ashley leaned back in her chair. “I wish I could have made it to Texas for Noah’s wedding. Crazy small world isn’t it?”
“Totally,” Grayson and I said together.
Grayson pushed off the counter and clapped his hands together. “Okay, Mom I’m going to go cut up some of that firewood and bring it in here. They’re calling for a lot of snow up here in the next few days.”
“You’re too good to me, Grayson.”
I watched as Grayson kissed his mother on the forehead and smiled. “Nonsense, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Mom.”
Died. I just died.
There was something utterly romantic about a man who isn’t afraid to show his love like that.
Ugh. Friends, Meg. You’re just friends today. Wait. How long did we decide to do this friends thing? Shit! Was it just for today? I think so. Damn it. Why didn’t I put down better rules?
Not being able to pull my eyes from Grayson, I watched as he made his way out back.
“He’s something else,” Ashley said.
“He certainly is,” I barely said.
“Friends huh?”
My eyes snapped over to Ashley. “Excuse me?”
With a tilt of her head, Ashley crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a smile that said, you’re not fooling me.
“Grayson has brought plenty of friends home before.”
My heart felt as if it physically ached from that statement.
“And none of them have been girls.”
The smiled that spread across my face was involuntary.
Shit. That last statement made me much happier than I should be.
With a nervous laugh, I opened my mouth to talk as I stole a look at Grayson through the huge bay windows in the eating nook.
“Well, I won’t lie to you and tell you we’re just friends. I mean, we are friends. Just friends with ben . . . um . . . I um.”
Oh Jesus H Christ. Was I really about to say that?
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I wished I could dig a hole and crawl into it. “Oh gosh, I can’t even believe I was about to say that. What I mean is . . . ahh.”
Ashley laughed as she stood up. “Let me put you out of your misery, Meagan. You can think all you like that my son only sees you as a friend with benefits, but I know Grayson. I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. I would dare say you are much more than what you think you are in his eyes.”
I swallowed hard as I looked back out to Grayson. Maybe what was between us was more than just casual sex. I chewed on my lip as I let the idea of Grayson and I together settle in. Did I truly not see how he really felt about me?
“Now, let me heat up some chili for the two of you for an early dinner. I’m sure Grayson wants to beat this storm before it really blows in.”
With a grin, I stood. “Would you like some help?”
“Sure! You can grate the cheese.”
Ashley and I settled into an easy conversation as I helped her get the chili ready. A few times I would glance out at Grayson and she must have noticed.
“He’s turned out to be such an amazing man. I was worried how it would affect him after his father left us and it was just me raising him.”
With a slight smile, I stole another look at Grayson before directing my attention back to Ashley. “You did an amazing job with him. He really is a great guy.”
Ashley beamed with pride. “Thank you, Meg. That means a lot to me.” Grayson was just finishing up bringing in the firewood when Ashley called him to the table. I carried over the grated cheese and crackers as Ashley set three bowls of steaming hot chili on the table.
“Damn, Mom. That smells heavenly.”
Ashley’s face blushed as she grabbed three beers out of the refrigerator and set them on the table.
Grayson grabbed some cheese and tossed it into his chili followed by a handful of crackers that he crumbled up and tossed in the bowl. It was clear to me that Grayson and his mother had a close relationship. I started to imagine what Grayson would be like as a full on boyfriend and that caused my lower stomach to clench. Deciding I needed to stop where my thoughts were going, I focused on the food in front of me.
Taking a bite, my eyes about rolled into the back of my head. “Oh. My. Gosh. Ashley this is amazing!” I said as I shoved another spoonful in.
“She has a secret she won’t tell me. I’m convinced she keeps it a secret so I’ll keep coming home.”
Chuckling, I took another bite. “Well, whatever it is, it’s amazing.”
“Thank you, Meagan. Save room for dessert. Caramel apple pie.”
Moaning, I closed my eyes and mumbled, “I just gained ten pounds.”
Grayson
“BE CAREFUL DRIVING back, kids.”
With a smile, I pulled my mother in for a hug. “We’ll be fine, Mom. Thank you for the chili and apple pie.”
“Anytime, Grayson.” Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I took a step back.
“Love you, Mom. I’ll see you soon.”
I watched as Meagan walked up to my mother with a huge grin across her face. I knew instantly my mother loved Meagan. “Thank you so much for the amazing food. I’ll have to try to convince you to share your secret ingredient.”
With a chuckle, my mother gave Meagan a hug. “We might be able to make some kind of arrangement.”
My mother shot a look at me and winked before turning back to Meagan. I’d never before brought a girl home and I knew my mother’s mind was going into overdrive right now.
“We better get going, Meg. The snow is really coming down now and sticking pretty good to the g
round.”
Meagan hugged my mother one more time before jumping into the truck.
I lifted my hand and waved goodbye as my mother gave me that all-knowing look. “I’ll be sure to call you tomorrow, Grayson.”
Oh hell.
With another quick kiss on her forehead, I whispered, “Don’t start planning a wedding, Mom. We’re just hanging out.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you are.”
Running around the front of the truck, I called out, “Later, Mom!”
I jumped into the truck and glanced over to Meagan. She only had my sweatshirt on still as she wrapped her arms around her. I cranked up the heat and headed back to Durango.
We drove a good part of the ride back in silence before Meagan broke it. “Your mom is so sweet.”
With a smile, I said, “Yeah, she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I’m not really sure how she did it all those years on her own.”
I could feel Meagan’s eyes pinning me with a stare but I chose to keep looking straight ahead. “What was it like? Growing up without a father and your mom having to work so hard to provide for you?”
My hand pushed through my hair as memories flooded my mind. “We had good times and bad. I can remember breaking down at the table one day and crying because my mother put a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me with toast.”
“Why did that make you cry?” Meagan asked as I turned to look at her.
“Because it was the tenth night of eating the same thing. Eggs and bread were cheap.”
Meagan’s eyes widened, and I saw pity in them. I couldn’t stand when people felt sorry for me.
“My friends gave me hell when I became a stripper, but they quickly shut their mouths when I was bringing in more cash in one night than they made in three months working at Home Depot.”
Meagan cleared her throat as she asked, “Does your mom know you were a stripper?”
“She didn’t at first, but I finally told her. The only reason I did was because she thought I was dealing drugs.”
With a chuckle¸ Meagan looked straight ahead as I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment. “Did you um . . . you know . . . ever get offered to do other things for women?”
My head snapped over to look at her, but she was still looking straight ahead. “All the time,” I said as I whipped into my space.
Now it was Meagan’s turn to snap her head over to me. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or scared by what I had said. Something about that small look of jealousy in her eyes had my heart beating just a little faster.
“Like . . . what?” Meagan asked.
Putting the truck in park, I opened my door and got out as Meagan did the same. As I walked around the back of my truck, I met up with her. “Do you really want to know?”
She swallowed hard. “I guess that depends on what it was and if you did it.”
“Why do you care if we’re just friends, Meg?”
With a shrug, she acted unaffected. “I don’t and you don’t have to even tell me if you don’t want to.”
I grabbed her hand and led her to the elevator. I liked the fact that she didn’t try to pull her hand away. “I had an older woman, maybe forty-six, ask if I wanted to come home with her and have a threesome with her husband. She offered me six thousand dollars to come and spend the weekend with them.”
“Holy shit! You didn’t, did you?”
With a laugh, I shook my head. “Fuck no I didn’t. There was another lady, probably around twenty-eight. She offered to pay me two thousand for a threesome with her and her best friend. They were on a girls’ weekend and both wanted some action with one guy. Both were married and they wanted some fucked up fantasy of watching each other get fucked by a younger guy.”
“Wow. That’s messed up.”
“Yeah it is.”
Stepping into the elevator, I hit the floor my apartment was on. The lack of sleep was kicking in.
“So did you?”
The doors opened and I looked at Meagan. “Did I what?”
“Hook up with the two girls?”
My stomach felt like it was twisting in knots. I didn’t want to be talking about my past with Meagan.
“My mother was about to have her car taken away from her for late payments. It would have been easy money, but I turned her down. Told her I wasn’t into that kind of thing. The girl offered me fifteen hundred to fuck her alone, but she still wanted the friend to watch.”
For once in my life, I felt ashamed for some of my actions when I was younger. “I figured it would be an easy way to make some quick cash.”
Meagan’s eyes widened as she searched my face before she looked away. “Did you um . . . did you use protection?”
I closed my eyes and stopped walking. When I opened them, Meagan was staring at me. “I’ve always used protection, Meg. I’ve fucked around with my fair share of women. I regret almost all of it, but none of them meant anything to me. I was younger, and it was money. Money I used to buy my mother that house.”
Her eyes softened as she took a step closer to me and placed her hands on my chest. The air in my lungs felt like it was sucked out the moment she touched me. “Gray, I’m not judging you. Besides, it’s not like I’m a sweet innocent girl. I’ve slept with my fair share of guys.”
The thought of Meagan fucking another guy drove me insane. “How many guys?” I asked as I narrowed my eyes at her.
“How many girls?”
With a shrug, I said, “Probably around twenty.”
Meagan took a step back and covered her mouth. “You fucking manwhore!”
My heart dropped as I looked at her. “Wait! You made it seem like you’ve slept with a lot of guys!”
Meagan shook her head as she dropped her hands and stared at me with a gaped mouth. “Yeah, I’ve slept with like six guys! Six! Jesus H. Christ, twenty? Here I thought I was a slut. Oh my God. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Meagan turned and headed to my apartment as I closed my eyes and shook my head as I cursed myself.
Stupid! You stupid fucking idiot! Why did I tell her the truth?
Slowly making my way to the door, Meagan stepped to the side and looked down at the floor. “Meg, I don’t want this—”
Her blue eyes looked up and pierced mine. “It doesn’t matter, Gray. It’s your past like I have my past.” With a smile she winked and said, “Besides, isn’t this what best friends talk about?”
I instantly felt sick. “Maybe best friends who don’t have feelings for each other. I’m fucking going out of my mind trying to think of how I can track down those six guys and pound their faces in.”
Meagan’s eyes sparkled as a wide grin spread across her face. “You have feelings for me, Gray?”
I opened the door and pushed Meagan in as I backed her up against the wall. Keep it simple, Gray. This is not about sex.
My eyes lingered on her lips before I searched her face. Each breath looked as if it was a labored action on her part. “Really, Meg? You can’t feel it when I kiss you?”
Meagan’s mouth parted open as I moved closer to her. Our lips were inches apart from one another.
“Gray.” She barely spoke as I placed my hand on the side of her face and gently rubbed my thumb over her soft skin. Son-of-a-bitch, touching her was one of my favorite things to do.
“It’s just a kiss.”
With trembling lips, Meagan said, “It’s dangerous.”
I lifted my eyebrow as I looked into her eyes. I’d never felt like this before with anyone. Meagan had a way of bringing out the one thing I was so afraid to let out.
Love.
“Why is it dangerous, baby?”
“This feeling . . . I’ve never felt it before with anyone but you and that scares me.”
I held my breath as I asked, “Why does that scare you?”
Meagan closed her eyes. “I’m so scared you’re going to break my heart, Gray.” Her eyes opened as she chewed on the corner of her lip. “I hones
tly don’t know if I would survive if I let you in and you left me.”
My knees about buckled out from under me as I fought to keep my breathing steady.
“Meg,” I whispered as I lightly brushed my lips across hers. The energy that raced between our bodies was something I’d never in my life experienced before.
Deepening the kiss, our tongues slowly danced together as I placed my other hand on her face as I kissed her with more passion. Meagan let out a small whimper as I pulled her lower lip into my mouth. Her head dropped back when I released her from the kiss. I softly spoke as I kissed along her jawline. “Don’t you feel it, baby”?”
Meagan’s hands grabbed onto the side of my sweatshirt as she pulled me closer to her. When our eyes met, her smile said everything my heart was feeling.
“Yes, I feel it.”
My hands moved up as I took her hair out of the bun and let it fall along her shoulders. Running my fingers through her hair, I pulled her head to the side as I gently blew in her ear and spoke. “Good. Don’t ever forget this feeling, Meagan.” My lips moved softly across her neck. “I’m pretty sure this is what falling in love feels like.”
It felt as if Meagan’s legs gave out as she started to slide down the wall. Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around my waist as I brought her lips to mine and claimed her with just a kiss.
Meagan
JUST A KISS, my ass. My head was reeling from that kiss and from Grayson’s confession of falling in love.
Please God, please don’t let him hurt me.
When we finally stopped kissing, I couldn’t help but smile. I’d never experienced anything like that before. Being with Grayson had always been different, in a good way. I knew I had feelings for him, but I never had the courage to admit it.
Grayson looked deep in my eyes as my heartbeat pounded in my ears. Was I ready to admit to him what my heart knew the moment he first touched me? I wasn’t sure, but I knew running from it was the last thing I wanted to do.
His blue eyes lit up as he took in my smile. “I’m falling in love with you too, Grayson.”
The grin that spread across his face was the most beautiful sight ever. Those dimples caused my chest to tighten as I pressed my lips together to keep from asking him to make love to me.