“She’s so sweet and loving that we treat her like a kith,” Neko chimed in. “And we protect her. When Pauly or Trish come in, we make sure Abyad sees them.”
“Looks like you got it together. Say, where’s the box. I need to go.” I hadn’t gone since before Tuyuur Song and I was desperate.
“We go outside,” Millicent said. “Come on.”
All of us went to a door, which had a smaller swinging door at the bottom. Millicent pushed it open and hopped out, followed by the others including Abyad. I was last, Chubby, trying to be a polite tom, hey.
“This is excellent,” I said as I went over to a place that looked sandy and prepared a hole. Two of the others did the same while the rest stretched and scent marked. I noticed there was a fence around the yard, but one that any amait could jump without trouble. Looked like we could escape any time we wanted. Wonderful, I thought as I took the beh yeh that makes your teeth itch. You know what I mean, Chubby. We returned to the house the way we went out, and Neko showed me where to sleep, which I did as if dead. I was warm and safe, so far.
Chapter 19
Dogs eat. Cats dine. Ann Taylor
Food was served at Tuyuur Song, and it was good–not great–but good. We had two big bowls, one with meat and gravy and the other a dry food that tasted sorta fishy. The clowder told me the dry was good for me because it contained minerals and vitamins, whatever that is. I didn’t care for it because I’d eaten real food that had lived moments before. The meat was okay but it wasn’t fresh and warm.
None of the others had ever hunted, which made me sad and a little aggravated with bašar for having imprisoned them for so long. But, they could go outside, which meant they could escape. Why didn’t they? I made a mental note to find out. But, all in all it was a good place, and I was going to like it until shemu.
Our play-acting for Pauly and Trish went well, and as Katia said, they bought it. And it was fun, pretending to fight, growling, hissing and batting each other around with soft paws. I was sorry when it was over.
My interest in Millicent increased, but I did feel guilty for being interested in a mollie so soon after Adele’s death. I’d been there for several days, and each day Millicent stayed close to me and talked. I was a little annoyed at first because she was always around, and I avoided her and tried to act surly and cranky. But, soon I started listening to her and found that she was very bright and experienced in ways I hadn’t considered, like walking on a leash with a kilaab and doing tricks, which she showed me. Fascinating stuff, but sad, I thought, because it only meant she was fully controlled by bašar.
“Just where do you come from?” I asked her one-day.
“From a very nice place, actually. The bašar who lived with me were wonderful. I loved them very much.”
“So why are you here?”
“They were killed in a car accident. I found out from other bašar who came in the house. I was scared out of my mind with all those strange bašar coming in and out, and one day one of them tried to pick me up and I bit her. So, they got rid of me.”
“Oh, wow. Wonder they hadn’t killed you on the spot.”
“That was the idea. Pauly was supposed to do it, but you’ve met Pauly. I really don’t think he could kill anything.”
I rolled on my side and looked at her. She was gorgeous, all right. Her belly faraawi was white and soft like feathers on a tuyuur and marked with splashes of deep gray with darker stripes. She had four white paws, and a white bib that started around nose and mouth. Her tail was slim, but straight and strong and tall.
And her eyes: Glistening yellow and filled with tender expression. Since Adele, I hadn’t seen another amait as beautiful.
“You’re an eye amait, ain’t ya,” Chubby interrupted.
“Guess so. Adele’s eyes captured me the first day, and Millicent’s got to me right away, too.”
“Tell me more,” I said to Millicent. “What was it like when you got here?”
“Intense. You gotta remember I’d never known any other home. My bašar, Matt and Carol, got me when I was just weaned. I don’t even remember my maama. Until I was at least a year old, I thought I had been born there and was the only amait alive.”
“How’d you find out you weren’t?”
“I heard them talk about it. I guess my maama lived with a friend of Carol’s who talked about me. Said I was the only one of my brothers and sisters marked the way I am between my eyes. Tabby, that is. Carol came, saw and adopted me on the spot.
“Anyway, when I came here it was the end of my world. I was terrified. They were the first amai I had ever seen. Everything about them frightened me, even their scent, which I had never encountered except on myself. So I went a little crazy. I hated everyone and everything. I hissed and growled; I screamed at any move they made that I didn’t understand, and I didn’t understand most; I wouldn’t eat; I stopped sleeping, and I bit Pauly once when he reached out. Any amait that got close to me got smacked hard.”
“You bit Pauly?” I laughed. “You were really asking for it.”
“Yeah. I fully expected to be killed, but I wasn’t. And that’s why I don’t think Pauly could kill anything.”
“So when did you come around?”
“Took me forever, it seemed. Then one day Abyad came to me and we talked.”
“That’s Snowball, right? But she’s deaf.”
“She talks with her body. You gotta watch carefully because she’s hard to understand, but she can talk in her own way.”
“Okay. So what’d she say?”
“Said I was being unfair, that Pauly and Trish were trying to help me and really liked me. Said she’d been there most of her life and had been treated like a pet amait. She said I needed to loosen up and give everyone a chance. But, I was stubborn, self-absorbed and stupid. I was not about to do that, but deep down I knew she was all right.
“Then she told me I was grieving. I didn’t know what that was, and she said it was feeling sad when someone close to us dies.”
“I know about that. I know a lot about that.”
“How so?”
I frowned. “Never mind. You go on. I’ll tell you later. So, Abyad said all that with her body?”
“Yeah. Took a while for it all to get through to me, but I understood, eventually.” She went after an itch on her belly before she said, “Abyad told me she was born in an alley behind a tavern. She was the only mollie out of five. Not long after she was born some tom bašar found them and proceeded to stomp Abyad’s maama to death along with her brothers. Abyad escaped by crawling under something, she doesn’t remember what, and the gaga didn’t see her.”
“Uh, gaga? What’s that?” I asked.
“We use it sometimes for cruel bašar. You never heard it?”
“Nope. New one on me. Gaga. Interesting.”
“Anyway, she told me she laid there forever until Pauly just happened along and heard her crying. The rest is pretty obvious. She was brought here. End of story, except that she was so little she had to be fed by Pauly, and for a long, long time she just moped around because she couldn’t hear and was so scared and hurt by what she’d seen that she wanted to die. She said for me to count my blessings because I had it pretty good compared to her.
“And you know, she’s right. Matt and Carol are dead. I can’t bring them back. So, I started eating. As you see, we have excellent food; also a warm place to sleep, and two sweet bašar who obviously think a lot of us. I mean they don’t have to take any of us in.”
I listened to her and thought of Adele and how tough she was, and I wondered if it might have been better if Millicent had been turned out and made to fend for herself. It’s possible she might have become a real amait like me. My face must have registered something because she said, “What’s the matter?”
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about something.”
“What?”
“I was thinking about the difference between you and me.” I paused for a moment
and looked into those wonderful eyes. “Ever eat a rat you’ve killed?”
“No.” She never shifted her gaze.
“A mouse? A tuyuur? Or a baby araanib or singaab?”
“No, I never have. Never had to.” She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. “What are you getting at, Gaylord?”
“Abyad was right. You have been very lucky. Lived a charmed life. In fact you’re still living a charmed life.”
“I don’t understand.” Her eyes narrowed and filled with darkness.
“I spent a lot of time on the streets, in alleys behind dives, in cracks so small only an amait or a rat could squeeze in, and every meal I ate I had to hunt and kill. Territory was fought for, not given. I’m proud to say I can survive anywhere, good or bad. I’m a real amait.”
She stared at me with those darkening eyes. For an instant I was afraid she’d jump me. Then she hissed at me and backed away. “You are the most arrogant, insufferable amait I have ever known. So you’re a real amait. What’s that make us poor sniveling little beasts? Unreal amai?” Her eyes were nearly black and she was growling low in her throat. She reacted exactly like Adele had.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant I have more experience, that’s all. I mean, am I right in saying that none of you have ever hunted and killed a meal? If I’m wrong I apologize.”
“I don’t know if you’re wrong. I just know you’re disgusting in your attitude. Who do you think you are coming in here and telling me that you’re better than we are because you’ve eaten a rat or singaab or whatever? Just because we’re indoor amai and haven’t had to struggle to exist, does not make us lesser amai. Maybe some of them have lived on the street, I don’t know. But whether they have or haven’t, they are just as good as you are.”
“No, Millicent, they’re not. There’s not one of you who could make it for a day on the streets without help.”
“Will you get out of here! Go out now for a beh yeh and just keep going. You don’t belong here. We don’t need to have you around looking down on us. Leave!”
She hissed again and screamed at me, arching her back and baring her claws. I didn’t want her to come at me because I didn’t want to hurt her, so I backed off, turned and went for the swinging door. Once outside I cleared the fence and took off across the field.
Chapter 20
It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming. Adlai Stevenson
I was bummed out and depressed, so I headed to the lake to find Fergus. Millicent’s voice and her screams rang in my ears, and as I ran I got madder and madder at her. I was not attacking her or the rest of those amai, Chubby. I was trying to point out, just as she pointed out, that we all come from different places and we all carry loads of stuff with us. Good stuff and bad stuff. I admitted to myself that I had poured it on a little strong about my experiences in the street, but it was true. I can survive anywhere and anytime. And I am an expert hunter and killer. If that makes me better than they are, so be it.
~ ~ ~ ~
“You are so full of yourself. You know that, don’t you?” Chubby was up yawning and stretching.
“But I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just more experienced in a different way. All of us are good at something, Chubby. Adele was an expert at finding food in dumpsters, and loving everyone. Fergus was great at bringing tuyuurs down, and Mutt . . . well, Mutt was good at just about everything. And you, you old mouser, is there anything you can’t do?”
“At my age? Yes, and don’t get smart mouthed.”
“I’ll be good, but I was sure all those amai at Pauly’s house, including Millicent, were good at lots of things.” I took a deep breath and yawned, too. “So, I decided it was a losing fight with amai like Millicent. They’d never understand, so I put her out of my mind.”
“You’re still full of yourself, and full of khara, if you don’t mind me saying. You’ve got every reason to be proud of what you’ve done, but nobody’s interested, Gaylord. Live what you are, don’t wear it on your tail.”
“Yeah, Chubby, you’re right. I soon learned.”
~ ~ ~ ~
It was Time of Owls when I found Fergus on his porch curled up in a chair. It felt good to be back in the old neighborhood, and it was especially good to see Fergus, who was knocked out when he saw me.
“Nebibi!” He jumped from the chair, tackling me and almost rolling us off the porch. “Where did you come from?” He was licking me to death.
“I really don’t know,” I tried to dodge his tongue without success. “It’s a long story and I’m hungry. Let’s get us a fat rat apiece.”
“You’re on.” He licked me several more times on the side of my face and purred up a storm. I was home with my brother.
Our meal was easy to find, two rats in the basement of an apartment building. After gorging ourselves, we started cleaning and Fergus asked me to fill him in. I told him everything: about Adele and getting her settled, about her getting killed and how I took care of the kilaab, about getting picked up and taken to Pauly’s, and about Millicent.
“Did I do something wrong when I said what I said to Millicent?” Fergus was older’n me and, just maybe, a little wiser.
“Yeah, you did.” Fergus was always blunt. “Look, she’s a mollie, okay. Wonderful, wonderful things, mollies, but they are different from us. Now, I didn’t say better or worse; I said different. They’re complicated, passionate and their feelings are on the surface. Respect is what they want, and you insulted her when you said you were better.”
“But I am better.”
“So?” He ginned.
“It’s simply the truth. No, no, I take that back. I’m not better. I’m more experienced at being a real amait.”
“See, that attitude even gets to me a little. Experienced at being a real amait. I hear you saying, I’m not a real amait.”
“Fergus! For Bast’s sake.”
“Just hold on there. I know what you mean because I’m a real amait, too, but even though I know it, doesn’t mean every amait has to know it. You live it. You don’t go ‘round braggin’ about it.
“See what I mean? Millicent’s a mollie that has lived a sheltered life. You, Nebibi, are an amait that’s been around, and you scared her. And when you went bigheaded on her, she blew up. I can understand that. You’re a great amait, but you gotta lot to learn about how to handle other amai, especially mollies. It’s called finesse.”
“What’s finesse?”
“Not a clue. I heard some bašar use it and I liked the sound of it. I think it means keep your mouth shut about yourself and only reveal little bits. Stay mysterious. Let them ask about that sleek black tom with coppery eyes, the one who can fight better than any amait in the clowder. Don’t spill your guts or your guts may be spilled.”
When End of Light came, we went frolicking on the beach. We pitched and tumbled with each other in the cold sand, and chased one another up and down the beach until we were exhausted. Fergus was as strong and quick as ever, but I found I was slower.
“Livin’ lazy like you’ve been is bad.” He sprawled and panted at the bottom of a small dune.
I dropped beside him. “I think I’ve gained some weight.”
“Well, I didn’t want to say anything, bein’ that I’m a polite amait.” He yawned.
“When have you ever been polite?” I cuffed his head, which, of course, started another round of wrestling and chasing. When we finally stopped, tangled together in a knot, I was starving.
“I have to have food,” I managed to grunt while gulping air. Fergus’ whole body was throbbing violently as he gasped for breath.
“Soon . . .as . . .I . . .return . . . from . . .the . . .dead, we’ll go.”
We laid there until we shivered, then limped off toward the apartment building we had hunted in earlier.
“All we might find are mice. Bašar been settin’ traps for rats and laying out poison for them. Big move to get rid of rats. Guess we ain’t good
enough.”
“Yeah, well, rats are stupid enough to get trapped. And they’ll eat anything. How come the mice aren’t affected?”
“Some are, but the traps are too big to catch ‘em. The poison can get to them because they’ll eat anything, too, you know.” We crawled in the crevice once again and looked around. “Not a rat in sight,” Fergus said. “We were just lucky this afternoon when we found those two. I think it’s gonna be mouse for dinner.”
He crouched low and began to advance toward the sound of mice squeaking. I followed. Before long we’d killed a bunch of mice and collected them in a pile just outside the crack.
“Well, let’s eat,” I said. We dove in and gobbled them like it was the first meal we’d ever had.
Now, as you know, Chubby, eating mice is not my favorite thing. No offense, but, I mean, they’re all right, and I would eat them all the time if I was starving and that’s all I could find. But to me they just don’t taste as good as a fat old rat. And, man, is that a change from when I first hit the streets, as I told you. I puked ‘em, hey. Besides the taste, which I dig now, there’s more to a rat; you gotta eat a lot of mice to make up for one rat.
My maama used to tell me, while we gobbled down some food I thought was delicious at the time, that we were supposed to eat mice. She said that in olden times, mice were all we had to eat and that we were expected to eat them or go away. Bašar back then kept us around to eat the mice so as to get rid of them. They didn’t like mice around. I asked her how they tasted, and she said she didn’t know because she’d always been a housie and never had to hunt. That was another reason I ran away; I wanted to hunt. But I always wondered how she knew all that stuff about rats and mice being a housie all her life.
Anyway, although rats are my favorite, with Fergus chomping away on mice with me they tasted better. Of course Fergus would eat anything as long as he killed it. Something that smelled rotten was not for him. Mutt? Well, all he had to know was that it was dead. How long didn’t matter. We missed Mutt a lot. I washed my face. “I’m stuffed, Fergus. I think I’m going to explode.”
“Ah, the delight of being painfully over fed.”
It was way into End of Light and colder’n ice, so we decided not to go rambling all over town but to find a warm spot to stay. Fergus knew a place down near the train station that was warm and quiet. We headed there, not running because our bellies were so full, but walking fast enough not to freeze to death. It was that grate I told you about with a warm cloud puffing up, and it was in back of the train station out of sight. Flopping down close together with our tails wrapped around ourselves, we were fast asleep in an instant.