I was interested despite myself. ‘Did the Tang dynasty Chinese Cinderella also have a stepmother who was mean to her and a fairy godmother who looked out for her?’ I asked.
‘Instead of a fairy godmother, Chinese Cinderella had a magic fish that protected her. But she did have a wicked stepmother who was very mean. Why do you ask?’ Master Wu said. ‘Do you have a stepmother?’
‘Sort of.’ I looked at my aunt, wondering whether I should tell him more.
‘Her father is Ye Jia-Lin (), my younger brother,’ Big Aunt explained. ‘Her mother was my best friend. So, besides being my niece, Ye Xian is also my god-daughter. We shared a room in my brother’s house before his latest girlfriend moved in three years ago. She and I don’t get on. I like reading, music and art and she is only interested in jewellery, playing mah-jong () and shopping. That’s why I moved out last year.’
‘What do you call your stepmother?’ Master Wu asked me.
‘Father told me to call her Niang…’ I began.
‘I’ve never liked you calling her Niang,’ Big Aunt interrupted heatedly. ‘“Niang” is another term for “Mama”. If that woman is your mama, then what about your real mama? As far as I’m concerned, you have one mama and will always have only one real mama. Unfortunately she died! That woman and your father aren’t even married!’
‘So what should I call her?’
‘Call her “Father’s New Woman”!’
‘How can I?’ I said. ‘I can’t say, “Good morning, Father’s New Woman. How are you today?” They’d kill me.’
‘It worries me that you’ll be under the thumb of someone like her for the rest of your life.’ From outside came the sound of hammering as workers erected wooden arches for a parade to celebrate the Japanese takeover of Singapore. ‘History will repeat itself, just like the Cinderella story.’
‘Many of my friends tell me it’s fashionable to have an English name as well as a Chinese name nowadays,’ I said, changing the subject. ‘I’d love to have an English name.’
‘I think Cinderella is perfect for you,’ Master Wu said. ‘It’s the English equivalent of your Chinese name Ye Xian.’
‘Yes,’ Big Aunt agreed. ‘Chinese Cinderella – but that’s such a mouthful. Why don’t we just use the initials and call you CC?’
And that is how I got my English name, CC.
2
The Chinese Zodiac
‘Now let’s begin,’ said Big Aunt. I took my usual seat at the round dining table, which Big Aunt also used as her writing desk. Her sitting room was sparsely but elegantly furnished with tatami mats on a wooden parquet floor, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, large windows shaded by bamboo screens, a comfortable couch and two cosy armchairs. Pots of chrysanthemums dotted the room and two large black-and-white ink paintings hung on the wall.
Big Aunt sat next to me and poured a little water on the ink-stone, then made fresh ink by grinding a stick of charcoal against the stone’s surface. She dipped a brush in the ink and quickly wrote a number of characters in our exercise book. They were so easy I felt insulted.
‘I know these words! I’m not three years old! I’m nearly twelve!’
‘Xiao bao bei (), my precious little treasure!’ Big Aunt said patiently. ‘Yu su bu da! () More haste, less speed! Just read them aloud and translate them into English!’
I sighed and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. ‘They’re all animals: the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, chicken, dog and pig.’ Suddenly I caught on. ‘But these are the signs of the zodiac. I know them! I’m a horse.’
‘Yes, xiao bao bei! But do you know that the Chinese zodiac has twelve-year cycles? It starts with the rat, and ends with the pig. After that the cycle starts again with the rat.’
‘Why is the rat always first?’
‘Legend has it that Buddha wanted to start a calendar to keep track of time,’ Big Aunt explained. ‘He summoned all the animals and announced that the first twelve would be included in the Chinese zodiac. The rat came first, the pig last, and all the other animals came in between. Each animal was given a year of its own. For instance, people born in the year of the rat would adopt the personality traits of the rat.’
‘Who would want to be like a rat?’
‘A person has no choice in that matter,’ Master Wu said. ‘Actually, I was born in the year of the rat and am now forty-two years old. Can you figure out when I was born, CC?’
I had to think. ‘Since it is 1942, you must have been born in 1900. Is that right, Master Wu?’
‘One hundred per cent correct!’ Master Wu concurred. ‘Let me tell you something else. Your Big Aunt was also born in the year of the rat’
‘Mama told me I was born in the year of the horse,’ I said. ‘Which year am I, Master Wu?’
Master Wu’s eyes were bright. ‘The horse is the seventh animal on the zodiac; 1906, 1918 and 1930 were all horse years. Since you don’t look thirty-six or twenty-four years old, my logic tells me that you were born in 1930.’
‘What are horse people like?’ I asked.
‘Horse people are quick-witted and adventurous,’ Big Aunt said with a smile. ‘Most compatible with those born in the year of the tiger. Here is a chart for you to take home (page 268). Have fun with it at school. Your friends will be so impressed when you tell them what they are like and who they can be friends with. Now I have something else for you.’
Quickly Big Aunt wrote another two characters in the book.
‘Easy again!’ I said. ‘These mean bear and cat.’
‘Yes!’ Big Aunt said. ‘But they also have another meaning. It’s a riddle… Master Wu, will you give CC a hint?’
Master Wu produced a faded photograph from his wallet. It was a picture of him standing next to a giant panda! The panda was pushing a basketball into a specially constructed hoop halfway up a tree.
‘This is Mei Mei (), Master Wu’s pet,’ said Big Aunt.
I stared at the photo in disbelief as the truth slowly dawned. ‘The characters for “bear” and “cat” can also mean “giant panda”!’ I exclaimed.
‘Yes, xiao bao bei!’ Big Aunt said. ‘You’ve solved the riddle! Master Wu has a giant panda as a pet!’
‘Where is your panda, Master Wu?’ I asked breathlessly. ‘May I see it?’
Master Wu shook his head. ‘Mei Mei hates the city. She lives in the mountain forests of Nan Tian Island where there are plenty of bamboo leaves to eat.’
I looked at the adorable panda’s white face with dark circles around her eyes. ‘Will she know you when you see her again?’
‘Of course! I’ve raised her since she was a baby, pink and almost hairless, lying all soft and helpless on the palm of my hand.’
I looked at his hand and tried to imagine the tiny baby panda. ‘How did you find her?’
Master Wu settled back on the couch and I sat beside him. Big Aunt poured hot water from a thermos into three blue and white china teacups, added a pinch of tea leaves to each, and covered the cups with matching lids for the tea to brew.
‘Four years ago,’ Master Wu began, ‘I was visiting my uncle in Sichuan province in the southwest. His house was high in the mountains, near a misty, cloud-covered bamboo forest. One morning while I was out walking, I heard a shot and some hunters crashing through the trees. Then I came upon a terrible sight – a giant panda, mortally wounded. I hid and watched the hunters tie up the body and carry it away.’
I felt sick. The thought of such a beautiful animal being slaughtered revolted me. ‘Why did they do it?’ I asked.
Big Aunt looked sad. ‘Panda skin and meat fetch a high price. The paws especially have medicinal value. Many people think they’re a great delicacy.’
‘After the hunters had gone,’ Master Wu continued, ‘I searched for the dead panda’s den and found it in the hollow stump of a fir tree, lined with twigs, wood chips, leaves and stalks of bamboo. Then I heard the sound of an animal squealing and saw the baby panda. It was still pink, w
ith just the slightest covering of white fur…’
‘Was it inside the den?’ I could hardly bear to think of the baby panda losing its mother in such a brutal way.
‘No, it was lying on a pile of dead leaves a little distance away. Pandas often carry their cubs in their mouths when they search for food. The cub probably dropped out of its mother’s mouth when she was shot.’
Master Wu took a sip of tea. I was sitting on the edge of the couch hanging on to every word.
‘I carried the baby panda back in my coat to our home in Nan Tian. My mother’s neighbour is Liu Nai Nai (), Grandma Liu. She often rescues animals and I knew she would give the panda the best chance of survival. We called the panda Mei Mei, which means Beautiful Sister. Grandma Liu and I fed her powdered milk with a baby’s bottle until she was old enough to eat bamboo leaves on her own. I taught her to turn, somersaults, climb trees and play basketball. She’s very smart. Eventually, when she was big enough, we released her into the forest. But, even now, she often visits the house, and comes to me when I call her name.’
Big Aunt placed a pot of water on the stove. I saw that she had prepared sweet sesame balls as well as anise-flavoured tea eggs. The three of us sat around her kitchen table drinking jasmine tea and eating her delicious snacks. I wanted to stay there forever.
‘Please let me stay here tonight,’ I begged.
‘I don’t want to go to Father’s house and face Niang. I’m going to miss you so much.’
‘Has it been bad?’ Big Aunt asked. She reached for my hand.
I realized my fingers were clenched.
‘Niang hates me!’ I said. ‘Everything I do is wrong. She doesn’t even call me by my name any more! It’s always “you loathsome creature” or “you disgusting troublemaker”. I just want to be with you.’
Big Aunt looked at Master Wu before turning back to me. ‘Tonight is my last night in Shanghai. I want to be with you too. Why don’t you phone your father and ask to stay with me?’
When I called, Father sounded preoccupied but agreed that I could stay. I didn’t want the night to end.
3
Abandoned and Homeless
I knew it was going to be bad as soon as I came home from school. Ah Sun (), one of our maids, said, ‘Your Niáng wishes to see you. She is waiting in the living room.’ I had dreaded this moment all day and now it was upon me. I gritted my teeth and tried to remember what Big Aunt had said that morning.
‘You can be anybody you wish to be as long as you study hard. Knowledge is power. Don’t let anyone drag you down. Zi qiang bu xi! () Work hard and be strong always! Have faith in yourself because I’ll always believe in you.’
‘Where is Father?’ I asked Ah Sun.
‘He’s taking a nap in his bedroom.’
I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, and went into the living room.
‘Good afternoon, Niang.’
Niang sat on the couch, filing her bright red, perfectly manicured nails. She gave me a quick glance. Her back was stiff and her eyes hard. She reminded me of a beast of prey readying for the kill. An insistent voice in my head said, ‘Be careful!’
‘Where were you last night?’ she said sharply.
‘At my aunt’s flat.’
‘Who gave you permission?’
‘Father did. I telephoned him.’
‘Come here!’ she commanded.
I approached her gingerly, trembling with fear. Without getting up, she extended her arm and slapped my cheek. It was so hard I almost fell.
‘Why did you slap me? What did I do wrong?’
‘Shut up!’ she shrieked, slapping me again. ‘This is for staying out all night without permission!’
‘That’s not true!’ I cried. ‘I did get permission! From my father!’
‘What about me?’ she screamed. ‘Did you get permission from me? Of course not! You think I’m nobody, don’t you? You and that slut of an aunt of yours!’
‘Don’t call my aunt a slut!’
‘Who are you to tell me what to call your aunt? You miserable nuisance! I’ll call her whatever I want!’
‘If anyone is a slut,’ I said recklessly, ‘it’s you!’
This time Niang did not slap me, but placed her cold hands around my throat. I felt her long, sharp nails digging into my neck as she squeezed with all her might. Desperate for air, I wriggled and kicked in a furious attempt to get away. I was certain that she was going to kill me. I had a crazy vision of my limp body lying in a child’s coffin, and Big Aunt’s tear-stained face. My legs began to quiver and the floor felt soft under my feet. My nostrils were filled with the terrifying fragrance of her perfume.
With one desperate effort, I opened my mouth wide, pulled wildly at her hair, and sank my teeth into her bare arm. She released her chokehold with a yelp of pain and stared at her arm. I felt something warm and wet trickling down my chin. Gasping for air, I wiped my streaming nose with the back of my hand. Bright red blood smeared across my wrist. Her slaps had caused my nose to bleed.
My legs were shaking so violently I could hardly stand. I could not believe what I had done. In a trembling voice, I stammered, ‘I’m sorry I bit you. Please forgive me! I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that I couldn’t breathe.’
She did not look at me as she pronounced the dreadful words. ‘Since you are not happy here, then get out! I’m going to tell your father that you behaved like a wild dog! You don’t belong in this house!’
She went upstairs. The silence was ominous. Then my father rushed downstairs in a cold fury.
‘How dare you bite your mother?’ he demanded.
When I tried to explain that I was defending myself, he refused to listen. ‘Obviously you’re not happy living here,’ he said coldly.
‘She called Big Aunt a slut!’
‘Did you or did you not bite her?’
‘She was choking me to death!’
‘You are the child and she is your Niang! She has every right to punish you in whatever way she wishes.’
‘Even if she kills me?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous! Of course she’s not going to kill you! She has your welfare at heart at all times. After all, she’s your Niang.’
Then I said something awful. I was so tired of her malice and his hypocrisy. But even as the words came bursting out of my mouth, I knew that my life was doomed. ‘You and I both know she is not my Niang. She hates me! No, Father! She is not my Niang and has never been my Niang! She is just your New Woman!’
‘How dare you! Get out of my house this minute! Get out and never come back!’ He was in such a rage that he grabbed the back of my school uniform and lifted me off the floor as if I were a kitten. Then he marched to the back door, dumped me outside and slammed the door behind me.
On the streets of Shanghai, Japanese soldiers were everywhere, in their belted uniforms and peaked caps, their bayonets flashing. I saw a headline on a news-stand as I walked by: ‘USA and Britain cowering under the might of Japan and Germany’. The war seemed close in a way I’d not experienced before. Now I was on the streets, too, unprotected and on my own like thousands of homeless refugees. What would become of me?
I shivered. My winter school uniform was made of thick navy-blue wool, but I had neither a coat nor a sweater. Everyone had somewhere to go. I started to panic.
Suddenly there was a commotion. Two Japanese soldiers were attacking a paper boy, kicking, slapping and abusing him verbally for not bowing as they walked by. The terrified boy begged for mercy and the soldiers eventually swaggered off after kicking down his stand and scattering what was left to the wind. Like the other bystanders, I could only watch in fear and silence, keeping my eyes down. The front page of a copy of China Daily landed at my feet. Another headline proclaimed: ‘A Second Pearl Harbor? British forces collapse in Singapore after only one day of fighting.’
Motor cars, trams, pedicabs, rickshaws and bicycles whizzed by. I was caught up in the life of the street, but belonged nowhe
re. A father and daughter dressed in rags crouched on the pavement. Around the child’s neck was a sign: ‘FOR SALE! My name is Luo Ying. I am eight years old.’ For a second our eyes met and the girl thrust her thin dirty hands into my face. I pulled away and ran down an alley, the blood pounding in my ears. Had the world gone mad?
Without thinking about where I was going, I ended up outside Big Aunt’s flat. How could Father have done this to me, his daughter? And Mama - why did she have to die? I couldn’t see through my tears. How fast fortune changes! Yesterday, I was still the lucky child enjoying an acrobatic show in the park…
Acrobatic show! I remembered the card given to me by the boy acrobat. I plunged my hand into my pocket, dizzy with relief.
LONG XIA HUI
Dragon Society of Wandering Knights
Martial Arts Academy
Plaza in Du Mei Gardens
and
2200 Avenue Petain, Shanghai
We help the oppressed and downtrodden.
We show the Too (way) to those who are lost.
Martial Arts. Judo. Karate. Boxing. Kickboxing. Acrobatics.
Chinese classics. Poetry. Calligraphy. Brush Painting. Music.
With a rush of hope, I sprinted into the park.
It was completely deserted. Yesterday’s stage had been removed and the acrobats had vanished. I felt limp. This was bad. Very bad. Big Aunt was gone, the acrobats were gone. For a fleeting moment I considered creeping back to Father’s house and begging him for forgiveness, but the thought of Niang overwhelmed me with dread. Perhaps it would be better to end the misery and die.
I looked at the sycamore tree next to me, searching for a foothold to climb to the top and jump to my death. But there, near a clump of leaves, I saw a row of ants struggling up a slippery rock face. The ants’ determination gave me courage. If the ants could survive, so could I.
For a long time I sat in silence, trying to picture Big Aunt’s expression when she first taught me the proverb: ‘Bai zhe bu nao! () Stick to your goal despite a hundred setbacks.’ I was far away in my thoughts when I heard a gardener clipping the lilac bushes nearby.