My parents’ door was locked, so I rang the doorbell. A normal doorbell. Ding dong, that was it.
My mother looked at me funny and asked, “Why did you go to the front door? You always come in from the carport.”
“I know,” I said, putting down my basket and taking off my jacket. “But I’ve been hanging out with the superior crowd ringing doorbells, and I just wanted to hear a normal chime.”
“You have such a strange life,” she said, shaking her head.
I shrugged my shoulders, picked up my basket and walked to the washing machine. After loading and starting the machine, I found my mother in the living room reading the paper.
“A woman I went to high school with died,” she said shaking her head, “I wonder if I should go to the funeral.” She looked up and asked, “What do you think?”
“If you haven’t seen her since high school, don’t go and don’t ask me to go with you,” I said glaring. I paused then added, “The last time you asked me to go to one of your old school chum’s funerals you tried to set me up with his son. His son, Mama. The man’s father had just died, and you’re trying to arrange a date so I could console him.”
“He was a doctor,” she said with a straight face.
I took a deep breath and let it out noisily. “Quit reading the obits and read this,” I said taking the obituaries away and giving her the comics.
“I wasn’t through with those,” she said, taking them back.
I could have played tug of war with her, but it wasn’t worth it because I wasn’t going to any more vaguely familiar acquaintance’s funerals.
We sat ignoring each other for a few minutes and then she asked, “Do you want to eat supper with us tonight?”
Okay, I couldn’t tell her I had plans, she’d ask me with whom? ‘Cody’s partner, have you met him? Oh, by the way when you tell Cody, make sure he comes by my apartment with a machete. It’ll give me something to do tomorrow like clean blood and body parts off the wall.’
“Thanks, but I can’t. Friends and I are getting together.” It was a total lie. A friend and I were getting together. Come to think about it; friend may be stretching the truth as well.
“Who? The girls you usually hang out with? All of you need to get more serious about settling down.”
“Believe me; we all want to settle down. Getting a dog, getting married, having one or two kids, of course, a boy and a girl are all we ever talk about. Or is that two dogs and one kid?”
“But…”
“Uhhh…you said settle. Do you want me to settle?” I asked. “Why do you think we serial date?” I cocked my head and said, “We’re looking for the right man. And I mean man, not boy, not mama’s boy, not Mr. Macho. We want someone that will treat us like we’re the only woman in the world. A man who wants to be with us when we’re old and gray as much as they want to be with us now.”
She looked at me a little sad and said, “No, don’t settle. Don’t ever settle.” She hesitated smiled and said, “I didn’t.”
I gave her a big hug and said, “I know you and Daddy didn’t. I don’t care what Me-Maw Couvie says.” I laughed, and she slapped my arm. My mother’s mother liked to joke about trying her best to break up my parents before they married. The truth was she’d always kind of, sort of liked my father. She liked to say, ‘Is any man good enough for her daughters?’
“You’ve met Cody’s new partner. What do you think about him?” she asked going back to her newspaper.
Oh, him? He slept in my bed last night. “He’s alright. They seem to get along,” I said casually. Oh God, she’s my mother, she can read my mind. If she looked up, I needed to remember to make eye contact.
“Good, I hope he watches Cody’s back.” She looked up from her paper and asked, “Is that how you say it?”
“Yep, very hip Mama. And I’m sure he has Cody’s back.” I smiled. Change the subject quick. “Have you heard from any of your siblings?” Perfect she’d talk about them and their kids and switch to Daddy’s side of the family until it was time for me to leave. At least I remembered to make eye contact.
It was five thirty by the time my clothes were finished washing and drying; Daddy called and said he would be late. Of course, he’d be late, he was always late. He rarely came home before six thirty so why would today be any different? I was standing by the phone when it rang so I answered it and gave my mother the message.