She raised her arms to cup his face. “I know. But we still love each other. Why shouldn’t we make love?”
Seth wasn’t about to object. With a groan, he lowered himself over her again. Kissed her deeply and hungrily. Then began to caress her body, sliding his hands along her sides, hips, and thighs, over the fabric of her clothes. He was kissing her again when one of his hands dipped under her loose top to cup and squeeze the swell of her breast.
She was moaning softly into his mouth, her body responding as it always did to his touch. Her own hands were moving over his shoulders, back, and butt urgently, needing to feel the hard lines of his body beneath her fingers.
There was a noticeable bulge at the front of his pants, pushing against her hip in a way that made her inner muscles clench, when he asked, “Did you want to go inside or stay here?”
“Here is fine,” she answered, not wanting to move from where she was. On a blanket in the grass, on a beautiful day in August. Spread out beneath her favorite tree, beneath her husband.
Seth’s expression was tight with desire when he pulled up again to stare down at her face. “Are you ready?” he asked hoarsely, pushing up her skirt with one hand so he could feel between her legs.
“Yeah,” she told him, squirming restlessly as he cupped her over her panties, as he felt how hot and wet she’d become. “I’m ready.”
She spread her thighs and pulled up her skirt all the way as Seth unfastened his pants. Then he positioned himself between her legs, bringing one of his hands down to his freed cock.
He was poised at her entrance, and she was holding her breath in anticipation when he met her eyes one more time. “Erin?” he asked.
“Yes, Seth. I want this. Hurry up.” She rocked her hips up, rubbing her arousal against the tip of his erection.
He made a long, guttural sound, holding himself above her with one arm, and then began to guide his erection into her body.
She was surprisingly tight, from going without for so long, so the pressure of his hard length pushing inside her was unusually uncomfortable. At the way her muscles were forced to stretch, resisting the penetration, Erin raised her upper body on her elbows in automatic defense and whimpered out a long, “Eh-hey.”
Already panting erratically, even though they had barely started, Erin tried to relax and adjust.
Halfway in, Seth had frozen, his head jerking to the side and his eyes squeezing shut. Now, however, he muttered out, “Oh, fuck,” and then pulled his cock out of her body all the way.
Erin let out a huff of surprise as their bodies disconnected. “Seth?” she asked, blinking up at him in surprise. “Why did you pull out? It was a little uncomfortable at first, but it’s not like I’m a trembling virgin. I've had two kids. I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”
Seth chuckled tensely. Still had one hand on his cock and now squeezed the base of it briefly. “I’m sure you can. But I’m not sure I can.” When he’d gotten himself under control enough, he opened his eyes and gave her a dry look. “You’re so much tighter than usual, and it’s been so long. I really don’t want to embarrass myself.”
Erin’s mouth curled up in a teasing half-smile, although she was feeling quite tender. “All right. Do you have another plan then?”
Lowering himself over her enough to give her a sweet kiss on the mouth, Seth murmured, “Of course, I have a plan.”
He reached between her legs with the hand that had been on his cock. Slid one finger inside her, stroking her most intimate flesh.
Erin was still supporting her upper body on her elbows behind her, so she had a good view of Seth’s ministrations. Sighing in pleasure at his touch, she teased, “That feels very nice. But it’s not a very flattering reflection of your girth.”
Seth let out a surprised burst of laughter. Then gave her a very significant, smoldering look. “Just wait.”
Then, as Erin watched, he joined the one finger with a second, curling them up and rotating them around so he could massage all of her inner walls, the moisture of her arousal making the motion smooth and slippery, and causing a slightly wet sound as he pumped his fingers inside her.
The friction was lovely, and Erin was gently rocking her hips with the pressure. It wasn’t anything too urgent or overwhelming—just felt like he was stroking the deepest parts of her.
Her lids were getting heavy with pleasure when his slid out his slick fingers and added a third. Pumped them in and out, curling them and stretching her as he did.
The tighter feeling heightened the sensations, and Erin’s breath started to come out in eager little huffs. She bent her legs at the knees and tried to angle her hips so he could get deeper.
“How’s that?” he asked, his hungry eyes devouring her flushed face.
“Good,” she gasped, as his three fingers slid against the clench of her inner muscles, sending out tingles and jolts of pleasure that were building into a deep pressure at her center. “Good, oh, oh, there.” She whimpered as he curled his fingers precisely enough to find her g-spot. “God, Seth, I want it right there.”
He pushed against the spot a little harder. Bent the arm he was supporting himself on to lower his body over hers even closer. “Did I find something good?”
“Yeah,” Erin rasped, all of her lethargic pleasure coalescing into a sudden urgent need for release. Her pelvis pumped up against the pumps of his fingers, and her head fell back helplessly, as she panted, “Yeah, Seth. There. Right there.”
Since her eyes had fallen closed and she was focused on the slow swelling of an orgasm, she had no warning when Seth added a fourth finger to penetration.
This was much, much tighter. So tight her pleasure was mingled with a significant amount of discomfort. “Ah!” she gasped, her back arching instinctively and her thighs trying to press together around Seth’s arm.
“Too much?” Seth asked.
“Try,” Erin gasped, blazing hot and urgent and trembling.
Seth pumped his fingers a few times, and—while she could handle it—it just didn’t feel as good. Since he couldn’t comfortably get in the position to find her g-spot.
“Three is better,” she mumbled, opening her eyes to make sure Seth wasn’t disappointed.
He didn’t look disappointed. He looked flushed and tense and aroused and like he wanted to swallow her whole.
But not disappointed.
He used three fingers again, curling up and connecting with her g-spot in a tight, delicious pattern.
“Oh, oh, God,” Erin could feel the muscles in her belly and thighs tighten as the pressure kept building at her center.
Then suddenly, she wanted to feel him inside her. All of him. Wanted both of them to feel this good.
“Seth,” she pleaded, clawing at his shoulders and trying to pull him farther up and over her. When he didn’t move, just kept thrusting into her with his fingers, she tossed her head. “Seth, want you. Inside me. Now.”
He groaned desperately and levered himself up—not even trying to argue at this point. In fact, he was in such a state that she wondered, if she’d have come from his hand, whether he would have come too…whether he’d wanted to or not
Pushing her thighs farther apart, he poised his cock at her entrance once more. Then he pushed into the emptiness his fingers had left, and Erin moaned long and loud at the much more substantial length of his cock. It still felt tighter than he normally felt inside her, but his fingers had stretched her enough that his girth was no longer uncomfortable.
He pulled back and stroked in, in the long, slow thrusts he always began with. And soon Erin was gasping out wordless expressions of need and effort again.
The friction from Seth’s long strokes inside her was pleasurable, but the angle wasn’t as precise as his fingers, and Erin began to squirm in frustration. She moved her arms so she could lie back once more on the blanket, planted her feet on the ground, and tried to raise and angle her hips so he’d come closer to hitting her g-spot.
Despite his hot
haze, Seth must have noticed her restless squirming. “Baby, what is it?”
Erin made a broken, sobbing noise as she writhed without success. “It’s good,” she gasped, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “But can you…I need…the right spot.”
He reared up immediately, tense, perspiring, and breathing heavily through his nose. Situating himself on his knees, he grabbed her hips and raised them slightly, giving himself more freedom to sustain an effective angle.
He’d been thrusting fairly deep, but now he pulled out some and instead levered his pelvis in short, quick slides, adjusting her body with each thrust until she felt his cock connect to the sensitive spot he’d been massaging with his fingers.
“Yeah,” she cried out, stretching out her back as she felt the tingling spiral out from her center. With fumbling hands, she reached down to bunch up her skirt more to get it out of the way. “Yeah, there, right there.”
Arching his neck in effort, Seth stared down at her twisting body and contorted face. “Erin,” he said thickly, squeezing the flesh of her hips in his hands as he rocked into her. “Erin, baby, can you come?”
“Think so.” She shamelessly shook her body to get the kind of friction she needed. “Just stay…right there.”
He did. He didn’t thrust. Just held his cock in position and kept pushing in tight rhythm against her g-spot. He was coiled so tensely he was shuddering with the pressure, but he managed to hold them in position as the rich pleasure gathered between her legs.
Erin realized she must look desperate and frenzied, as she jiggled and panted in the open air, trying to work herself into release.
“Erin,” Seth muttered, his eyes almost agonized as he held onto his control. “Beautiful. Beautiful. Missed you so much.”
She released a few loud sobs—the flooding of her heart mingling with the intense physical sensations—then she cried out a frantic, “Seth! Seth!” She felt the pleasure finally erupt inside her, sending out waves and spasms of overwhelming sensation.
She sobbed with her release, convulsing wildly and trying to grab onto the blanket beneath her. Her inner muscles were clenching ruthlessly around him cock, threatening to push him out altogether.
He kept pushing back against the contractions, letting out a long, guttural groan of effort and frustration.
When Erin finally started to come down, Seth relaxed his grip on her hips, changed his angle suddenly, and thrust into her more fully.
She cried out at the shift and managed to keep her eyes open, wanting to see him as he came.
His features contorted almost unrecognizably as he gave a few hard, jerky pushes into her tightened channel. “Fuck,” he gasped, twitching his head and freezing momentarily. “Oh, fuck.”
Then he came. And it was hard and intense and Erin watched as it transformed his face. His whole body pulsed, until she could feel him releasing himself in several short spurts inside her.
“Oh, fuck,” Seth said again, his voice so hoarse it sounded like it hurt. Inhaling desperately, he fell forward, catching himself with his arms before his weight landed on her. Then he lowered himself onto her more gently, his hot, heavy body resting on hers.
Erin gasped and clung to him. Felt like she might cry.
After a minute, his weight and the sticky results of their coupling began to be less appealing and more uncomfortable. Shifting beneath him, Erin said gently, “Seth.”
With a groan, he pulled his head out of the space between her head and shoulder. “Am I getting heavy?”
“A little,” she admitted. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” With effort pulling his damp, softening cock out and then rolling off her.
Erin fumbled around until she’d found a couple of tissues she’d brought with her outside—in case she’d felt the need for a good cry—and handed one of them to Seth. As he wiped off his cock and pulled up and fastened his pants, she did her best to clean up between her legs with the other tissue.
It wasn’t entirely successful, but it would do for now.
When they’d both straightened their clothing, Seth relaxed back on the blanket and pulled Erin over to nestle against him. Pressing a soft kiss into her hair, he asked, “So, do you think you might be ready to come home?”
Erin sucked in a sharp breath, realizing that the warm simplicity of their interlude was over. That—even after making love—she was going to have to hurt him again. “I…” she began brokenly. “I don’t know.”
His only reaction was to tense up briefly, but she knew that her answer had wounded and disappointed him.
Stroking his chest with her hand, she twisted so she could peer up at him. “I’m sorry, Seth. This was so good. And I’m really glad we could do it. But you know it can’t really fix things.”
“I know.” His face was quiet and watchful again. “But I thought it might be a start.”
“It is,” she agreed hurriedly, pulling up so she could look down at him. “It is. And I’m going to come home really soon. But I want to make good decisions. So I just need to think about it reasonably, and not let your studliness turn me into a big heap of silly mush.”
Seth gave her a half-smile. “All right,” he murmured, stroking her hair back from her damp face. “I understand. I don’t want you to get caught up in feeling and act too quickly either. Take your time.”
She’d known that had been hard for him to say. She knew he wanted nothing more than to snatch her up and carry her home with him. So she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.”
They shared a deep, warm look that Erin was briefly afraid she might drown in.
To pull herself out of it—being serious about wanting to make good decisions and not let herself be pulled back into a thoughtless acceptance of their old situation—Erin curled up her lips. “Besides, the girls have been promised a picnic at the lake tomorrow, and they’d never forgive me if I took them home before that occurred.”
Seth smiled back at her. “As it happens, I’ve been invited to that picnic as well.”
Feeling a rising sense of warm anticipation, one that was strangely new, despite the years they’d spent together, Erin asked, “And were you planning to attend the illustrious picnic?”
His thumb tracing along the swollen line of her bottom lip, Seth replied, “I was. In fact, I thought I might stay in town tonight instead of driving all the way back to Atlanta.” He met her eye with an uncharacteristic hesitance. “I could stay at Mac’s old place if you rather I not stay at the house.”
Erin swallowed hard. Felt a rush of nervousness rise in her throat as she tried to figure out how to respond.
Things had felt so natural and simple just a few minutes ago—when they’d been in each other’s arms. But now all of the complexities of their relationship and history kept forcing their way back into the situation.
It would be nice, if their whole lives could be as simple as their loving each other. It would be nice—like a dream or a story.
But no one’s life was ever that simple.
“Um,” she mumbled, feeling anxious and almost guilty about having to hurt him again. “Um, you can stay here—I’m sure the girls would love it—but maybe you could sleep in the den.”
Seth didn’t reply. Just gazed up at her silently.
“I’m so sorry, Seth,” Erin told him, her voice cracking and her face twisting in regret. “I know it’s not what you want. And I’m sure it sounds like a silly gesture after what we just did. But…but as I said before, our problems aren’t just because of you. They’re also because of me, because of what I let myself accept and become. And…and I need to know that I’m capable of making wise, mature decisions, and not just dissolving into Jell-O because of some particularly good lovin’.”
She’d been hoping her choice of words would cut the sting of her decision, would cause him to relax into amusement. So she was pleased when his mouth softened.
“All right,” he said at last. “I think I understand.
I know we have a lot to work on, so there’s no sense in rushing and potentially making things more complicated later.” He cupped her warm cheek and concluded, “I’ll be happy to sleep in the den.”
Erin couldn’t help it. She melted into a warm, full smile. “Thank you, Seth. The girls are going to be so excited.” Glancing back toward the direction of the house, she added, “And you can help us make pizza tonight.”
***
The next morning, Erin was awakened from the first good sleep she’d had in weeks by the sound of whispering at her door.
“Mommy’s still sleeping.” That was Anna’s whisper—a kind of lisped stage whisper that was as loud as her regular speaking voice. Erin would know it anywhere.
Mackenzie replied, her voice actually closer to a real whisper. “Why won’t she ever wake up?”
They must be peeking at their mother through the door. Erin felt a warm swell of affection for her sweet little girls, despite their being awake at what felt like an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning.
“She sleeps forever,” Anna complained, her childish voice a little louder this time.
“Not forever.” Another murmured voice, this one lower and more mature. Seth. “You’ve only been up for an hour yourself.”
“We’ve been up forever,” Mackenzie insisted. “Why doesn’t Mommy wake up?”
Erin couldn’t help it. She raised her eyelids just enough for her to peer through her lashes and was rewarded by the sight of all three of them huddled in her partially opened doorway, staring at her as they not-so-discreetly discussed her sleeping habits.
The sight of her family made her so happy she could barely keep from giggling, but she wanted to see what would happen next, so she continued her pretense of sleep.
“Well,” Seth suggested, a familiar amusement in his voice. “Maybe you should wake her up the way you woke me up this morning.”
“Jump on her?” Anna asked excitedly.
Erin almost choked at the image of their girls ecstatically jumping on Seth as he slept in the den, waking him up first thing in the morning.
Seth must know by now she was already awake, or he likely wouldn’t have suggested such a sudden, violent end to her slumbers. “Yes,” he agreed. “On the count of three, we should all jump on Mommy.”