Chapter 19
PJ watched Ethan follow Grant with a puzzled frown. What could that be about? Ethan and Grant weren’t exactly friends, and the exchange hadn’t looked friendly. It’s none of my business, PJ reminded herself. Just because I’m in love with Ethan doesn’t give me the right to know his whereabouts every second.
She finished her cereal and listlessly stirred the spoon around the bowl. What was she going to do? She had messed everything up by not trusting Ethan; she could see that now. Why hadn’t she simply believed in him when he asked her to trust him? Why did she have to be such a novice at this and so horrible at it? Now she knew the truth, that he had been protecting Cam, that he hadn’t broken his word and betrayed the secret even when she had begged him to give her a reason.
If only she would have stayed off her high horse and looked at Ethan’s heart instead of her own high ideals. Of course Ethan, who had been good and perfect and wonderful since the moment he arrived, had only been protecting a friend when he asked her to lie to Chrissy. Maybe he could have handled it differently by informing Belle what was going on, but he had been protecting her, too. The outcome may have been misguided, but his intentions had been good and honorable. And she had treated him like public enemy number one.
He must think she was a goody-goody idiot, looking down on him from her ivory tower. How was she supposed to fix this mess she’d made before Ethan went back to New York? What if she had ruined things for good? What if he didn’t want to be with someone so inexperienced or high maintenance? It would be just her luck to find her Prince Charming only to lose him—and on Christmas, no less.
“You okay, PJ?” Sam asked, studying her with a worried frown.
“I’m good,” PJ said with an unconvincing smile. Belle, who wasn’t much of a morning person, joined them then. This morning she looked even greener around the gills than usual as she bypassed the coffee pot and grabbed a piece of toast. Sam and PJ exchanged looks across the table. If there was one thing everyone knew about Belle, it was that she had a raging coffee addiction. Why was she skipping coffee, unless…
“PJ, do you think maybe you could teach me to knit while you’re here?” Belle surprised everyone by asking.
“Sure, Belle,” PJ said. “Any particular reason?”
“I need to become more domestic,” she said vaguely.
“Belle,” Cam said, sidling up beside her and circling her with his arm. “Honey, you don’t have to do this. Don’t force things; they’ll come naturally.”
“I want to do this, Cam,” she said, looking up at him with a smile that looked almost shy. “I want to be a good mom.”
PJ and Sam glanced at each other again, having received an answer to their silent question.
“You’re going to be a great mom,” Cam assured her.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t happy about it before. I’m starting to get really excited about it now,” Belle said.
“You are?” Cam asked, setting aside his coffee so he could put his other arm around her.
She nodded. “Which is why we’re going into town tomorrow to buy furniture. I’ve also been doing some research on the best toys and activities for brain development. I made a list, and we…” She cut off when Cam kissed her. PJ looked away, smiling, knowing Cam was kissing her more out of a desire to shut her up than because he was happy. Once Belle sunk her teeth into a project, there was no turning back.
“I think I’ll go and visit Ivy,” PJ said as she stood and backed away from the table. She sounded as sad and listless as she felt, but she couldn’t help it. Ivy noticed as soon as she entered her room.
“Why the long face?” Ivy asked. “Did something happen to one of the horses?”
“Of course not,” PJ said, sinking into the chair at the side of the bed. “I told you they’re on the mend. Another week and the laminitis will be gone.”
“Thanks, PJ,” Ivy said as she reached out to snag PJ’s hand. “I owe you one.”
“I’d like to cash in,” PJ said. “Tell me how to fix things with Ethan, Ivy. I’ve messed up horribly, and I need to make it right. For once in my life, I want to be the girl who knows exactly what to say and do, to be the girl who’s amazing.”
Ivy smiled, though the look in her eyes was calculating. “Tell me, PJ, how do you feel about a makeover?”
“What?” she had expected Ivy to give her some advice on what to do or say, and instead she was fixating on her lackluster appearance. Self-consciously, she patted her ponytail. “Why?”
“Because all that stuff you just said is a waste of time. Ethan’s crazy about you; he’s in love with you. Don’t you dare try to be something you’re not when you’re already amazing. He’s already said he wants you. All you have to do is go and get him, and I for one think when you do, you should look your very best.”
“What did you have in mind?” PJ asked, her heart an odd mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Ivy always looked so beautiful and put together. Could PJ?
“Call Sam, Layla, and Belle and tell them to come over. We have work to do.”
PJ reached for the phone, hoping as she did so that she wasn’t about to make a fool of herself and fall flat on her face.