Read Christopher's Journey: Sometimes it takes being lost to find yourself Page 43

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  "Hanna, Hanna we need to get up." Chris said gently shaking her shoulder. Almost two days had passed since her dream. They had barely left the bed, only for Chris to throw hay and grain at the animals and for Hanna to use the necessary.

  She shook her head slightly. "I don't want to." she softly exclaimed.

  "We cannot just lie here and whither away the last days of our time together. Not that I don't want to endlessly hold you, Hanna but I want to leave this place seeing your beautiful eyes and glorious smile."

  She opened her eyes to look at him, they quickly filled with tears.

  "This is not good for you, this is not good for the baby... I know," he popped up. "Let's go have a picnic at the peninsula. It's a beautiful day, the air is warm, the birds are singing. I'll even make the lunch. Just promise me you'll get up."

  She nodded ever so slightly still clutching to his arm. He gently pulled his arm out of her grasp, kissed her on the forehead and headed out to the kitchen.

  He lovingly and carefully packed up a loaf of bread and wrapped up some butter. He grabbed a jar of blackberry jam, Hanna's favorite, and arranged them all into a small basket. He intently listened for any movement in the bedroom.

  He let out a sigh of relief when he heard shuffling. 'She's up. Thank you, Lord.' Chris thought.

  He worried for her. If she was sinking into a sea of depression and he was still here, how would she handle him leaving? She would not care for herself, therefore not caring for the baby. He wondered if they should go talk to her family and have them take her in after he left. He was not ready to divulge this information to just anyone, however, he was still pleading with God to allow him to stay. Could his prayers be answered? If they were, he didn't want the entire town to label him as 'the crazy one' putting a label, also, on Hanna and the baby. He wondered if she should even tell anyone the truth after he left, not wanting her to carry that label for him for the rest of her life.

  Hanna was fully capable of taking care of herself. She had a job once school started and she had a very supportive and loving family that would always care for her. He wanted to know that she would be alright and he wanted to be assured of this before he left.

  A gut wrenching thought made his body go limp. It wasn't what Chris would ever want to imagine but it was the right thing to do..

  Chris and Hanna slowly made their way through the yard and in between the rows of wheat. Hanna shuffled her feet as if she was leaving a trail of the last of her energy behind her.

  "The wheat looks wonderful." Chris said running his fingers over the top of it. "It looks to be a beautiful harvest. Your pa should be happy about that." Chris then said, realizing he wouldn't be the one to harvest his hard work.

  Hanna didn't respond. She kept her eyes forward and continued to trudge along. The leaves and twigs crunched under their feet as they made their way through the woods and to the river. Instead of turning right to get to the peninsula from the Browley farm, they turned left when they reached the river.

  Chris paused slightly when they reached the spot, he and Mr. Browley had sat when he asked for the courtship of his daughter.

  It was hard to believe what all had happened since. The engagement, the blizzard, the wedding, the fire.. and of course all of the small but important things that happened in between.

  Chris tightened his grip on Hanna's hand. "Here we are." he said to her with a smile.

  They made their way across to the peninsula and settled down onto the plush grass. The river flowed around them and sounded peaceful and free.

  "I brought your favorite." Chris exclaimed as he lifted the jar from the basket. "Blackberry."

  "I'm not hungry." She said.

  Chris studied his wife. The same gut wrenching feeling came over him.. “Hanna. There’s something I’ve been thinking about.” he reluctantly began.

  She lifted her head to him to meet his eyes. Chris could only imagine that they were full of pain and regret for what he was about to say next. He had to, though. For the sake of his wife, for the sake of his child. He had to make sure they would be alright once he was gone. It was his duty to make sure they were taken care of.

  “After I am gone...” He began, pausing again. “I... I want you to marry Cale.”