“Now that you are there,” Logan continued as if he saw the same thing as me. Who knew? Maybe he could, since I was still holding his hand. “Look at the fort. It has four little pieces jetting out. Find one of those and focus there. That’s where we will end up. Please don’t put us in the moat. Now, concentrate on that one spot and will time to change, feel it rewind the two weeks you want.”
I looked at one of the points on the fort and waited. Two people still stood around until a park ranger ushered them away. Sure enough, the scene changed. It grew brighter and then darker as night set in and day came back. Time picked up and flew by. It became a colorful whirl. Suddenly it stopped. It was still dusk, but now there were no people standing around, and no ranger ushering them away. Soon my body began to fade and reappear exactly where I was looking.
Logan was beside me, holding tight to my hand. He looked around, surprised. The sun was almost set and casting a pretty purple glow across the sky. I felt the magic of being there and being able to just jump anywhere in time. Happiness tingled in me from head to toe. I was different. I could travel through time. I could see the world. This was magical.
Logan held my hand more gently as all my realizations set in. The world was not as scary as it once was. I was afraid college was the last time I could get to be me. I’d have to join my grandfather in his business, and live out my life never having really lived it. Now I didn’t have to worry about that. I could live life and have any adventure I wanted. I had the power to go through time and be anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye. It was amazing to feel the power within me. My life had just changed completely. I wasn’t afraid anymore. I was in control.
“Magical,” I said quietly as the last rays set. It was a perfect sixty-five degrees even though we had just left snow.
“It sure is,” Logan replied. I didn’t turn to look at him, but I sensed he wasn’t staring at the sunset.
Logan pulled me over to the edge of the fort we stood by and up on the top of the fort roof that had warning signs.
“Um, we’re not supposed to climb on this,” I replied, pointing to the signs.
Logan gave me boyish grin that told me he didn’t care. I still didn’t move. “The rangers won’t look for us. We didn’t enter the park from their point of view. Once they have their head count correct, they closed up. Trust me. No one will know.”
“What if it’s dangerous?” I asked. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but climbing on a slightly crumbling structure never seemed like a good idea.
“Then don’t let go of my hand. If anything happens, I’ll just send us home,” Logan replied.
“Why don’t we head home now?” I asked.
“Because I want you to try going forward, too. And I know you’ll need time to re-energize,” Logan replied, squeezing my carnelian hand to remind me. “Come on. We can sit and watch the stars a bit. It is a beautiful night, not a cloud in the sky. I’d say we’re safe to sit here a little bit.”
I let him lead me forward. We climbed up past the warning signs. They were there for a reason, but I guess we didn’t need to follow rules. I held tight to his hand. I didn’t know if I could get myself home if I got in trouble. I basically had no choice. We sat down on a ledge, and the sky darkened. Nighttime was completely upon us now. The park was silent, and all you heard was the water and occasional wildlife. It was actually quite peaceful.
“Mari, have you ever wondered if I had told you the truth about who I was, would you still be with me?” Logan asked.
I was startled by the question. I hadn’t thought of that.
“I mean,” Logan added, seeing my hesitation. “We were quite good together, if you ask me. We never fought beyond me leaving for work. I was always happy, and I thought you were, too. We had so much fun. Remember that time that we convinced Amy that they were making space trips to the moon?”
That was kind of funny. She didn’t spend any of her allowance for two weeks as she thought she would get a seat on the moon plane we told her about. I smiled. Yes, we had fun times, but I remembered the rough times, too, like when he would leave me alone somewhere, and I’d be left waiting for him to return, if he ever did. There were many times I drove myself home in his car. He always came back apologizing and bringing me a gift, and I always forgave him. That was the problem with our relationship to begin with. I always forgave him, therefore he never changed. I slid my hand from his. It wasn’t completely safe, but I feared I was giving him the wrong idea. I’d be safe where we were sitting if I didn’t move.
“I never once meant to hurt you,” Logan said gently. I turned to look at him and felt the stones beneath me wobble a bit. Logan slid his arm around my waist to keep me on the edge and from slipping away.
“But you did,” I replied. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I had cried enough over Logan Jones, but now everything came right back to how I felt two years ago. “Again and again. I told you it hurt, and you promised to never do it again. Yet, you always did.”
“And I will regret that for the rest of my life. I’m sorry about everything, especially prom. I’m hoping in some form I can make it up to you. I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your humor. I miss your kisses.” Logan used his free hand to brush hair out of my face. “I’ll do anything to win you back. And if that isn’t possible, I’ll do anything to make you happy.”
My heart beat harder in my chest. I waited two years to hear him say those words. Two long years of not looking for someone else. Two long years of not trusting any guy. Logan had turned my life upside down when I dumped him. And now he was finally telling me he was sorry. But it was too late. I had moved on.
“Then help me find Seth. I love him, and he makes me happy. If you truly want me to be happy, help me,” I replied, turning around to get off the unstable wall where I was forced to touch him and remember a past that was completely different now that I knew the truth. “All I can be with you is friends.”
“Have you ever thought of what Seth might be doing in the past?” Logan asked. There was no malice or hate, it was just a simple question. Yes, I had thought about it, and often wondered. “He doesn’t live in a time where he can wait around years until you come back. His father had already made an arrangement for him before he brought you back. He will be expected to marry and carry on his lineage. He will be expected to love and have children with someone else. You are not of his time. He can’t sit around waiting for you.”
Logan said exactly what I had been thinking. All the bad what ifs I had ever questioned were coming out of his mouth. If I didn’t go back to the exactly the right time, Seth would have moved on. He would be with someone else, and I would have been forgotten.
“He wouldn’t do that to me,” I replied. I had to believe that Seth loved me as much as I loved him. There was no way I could just move on without Seth, and I hoped he couldn’t without me.
“He wouldn’t have a choice,” Logan replied. That was true. I had met Seth’s dad, the general. I doubt he ever gave Seth a choice in anything. “What will you do if you go back and he’s married? Will you ruin the life he built without you?” That was a question I didn’t want to answer.
I felt tears welling up. I didn’t want to think about that. I didn’t want Seth to move on, but I had no control if he did or not. I was spending all my time trying to get back to him, but he could already not be there waiting for me. I hated that thought, and it killed me inside. I hoped that I could find him in the past and he would be waiting for me, but there was a good chance he wouldn’t be. His life was there and not here.
“I will never hurt you again,” Logan said. “I promise you that, Mari. If you let me be the one, I will give you anything you want. I can make you happy. Seth will only bring you sadness. He isn’t from our time. I love you, Mari, and I know you can love me, too, if you tried. The spark between us isn’t gone. It can never be gone.”
I scooted down past the warning sign and to the solid ground. Distance was needed. It was too confusing to
be close to him. I didn’t feel the constant flutters in my stomach when I was around Logan like I did with Seth, yet his touch still made my heart beat faster. He was my first love. I had heard you never truly got over your first love, but this was harder than I thought. He was saying everything I needed to hear. It was easy to be over him when I thought he was a jerk, but now it wasn’t as easy.
Logan followed me.
“After traveling so much today, you should probably not do anything tomorrow. You will be tired. It takes time to get used to, and the further you go back, the more you have to recover,” Logan explained, going back to teacher mode.
“Sure. I’ll relax tomorrow,” I replied.
Logan stopped right behind me. I could feel his breath on my head. I didn’t know how much more I could be around him. He was making me think too much. What would have happened two years ago if I knew the truth? Would we still be together? Would I have forgiving him for running away time and time again? Would I have ever met Seth? I shook my head to stop the questions. The reality was that I did meet Seth, and I did find that someone could make me happier than Logan ever had. I needed space from Logan. He confused me with everything he said.
“I think I have all the basics down now. Maybe I won’t need you to come back and oversee my practice,” I told him as I turned. Logan had stopped only inches from me. I was staring at his chest. If I looked up our lips would only be inches apart. That wasn’t a good place to be if I wanted to convince him that all I wanted to be was friends. I moved to step back, and he caught me by wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Is that what you truly want?” Logan asked, his deep violet eyes staring hard at me. My hands rested on his chest, and I was frozen although I wanted to push him away. It was way too familiar.
“It’s what I want,” I replied, even though I wasn’t completely sure now with his arms around me. It felt too real. Too much like a life that I remembered also enjoying.
“Then you owe me my payment,” he said huskily, waiting for what he wanted, and I now just figured out it was a very bad deal to have made.
But a deal was a deal. I stood up on my tippy-toes and moved to kiss his cheek. I never agreed the kiss had to be on the lips. Logan turned his head and caught my lips with his own. Too many memories came flooding back at once. I remembered those lips, and I remembered those kisses that always made me weak in the knees. My hands decided, on their own, to wrap around his neck and pull him closer. His lips brought back feelings I had forgotten. He deepened the kiss at my response and pulled me tighter, pressing my body to his. He wasn’t the only one who still remembered everything. Memories kept rolling through my mind. The kiss, his lips against mine, was everything I had pictured as my goodbye kiss I never got to give him when I cut him out of my life cold turkey. I moved on. I went to pull away, but by now his hands were tangled in my hair and mine in his. I panicked and thought of home where we left Ty standing.
The shock of shifting through time brought Logan back to reality as he slid his hands down around my waist, yet he refused to end the kiss. It became even more of a reality when we appeared before Ty.
Ty took one look at us with my hands on Logan’s chest and Logan holding me tight against him with our lips still together. Ty pulled me from Logan and with all one motion punched Logan in the face. Logan stumbled back and wiped the blood dripping down his nose.
“How dare you touch her?” Ty said, getting ready to punch Logan again.
“We’ll have to do that again,” Logan said teasingly to me as Ty fumed. Logan looked to Ty for only an instant before beginning to fade away. As I caught my last glimpse of Logan, he winked at me and smiled. He still wasn’t giving up on me.
I was more confused than ever. I still had some hidden feelings left for him that I didn’t want to have. Maybe he did just want to help me, maybe he had other plans. One thing was for sure- I didn’t want to be alone with Logan any more. There was too much left between us, even though I had moved on. Logan wasn’t used to taking no for an answer, and I had a feeling that he was going to always be around somehow. My life needed to be Logan-free.
Chapter 5
Getting Answers
Ty and I spent the next two weeks working on the time travel practice. We would pick the locations and times, and I would travel there. I was getting better at visualizing the map and going places faster. I was getting better at feeling the power of the goddess stone when Ty held it so that I didn’t need to be touching it at the same time. Slowly we also discovered that I could push Ty through time back to my room. I didn’t even want to try somewhere else, but that was enough to know that if we encountered trouble, I could get him home if needed. As Logan predicted, it was slow going. We had to wait days in between any lengthy travel and had to be careful to pick locations that I could hide in for hours when I went places.
The weeks passed quickly and before long it was already the holidays. Ty had to return to the Sangre house in Chicago which turned out to be Logan’s house, and we were invited to attend dinner there for the holidays. I really didn’t want to attend, but my grandfather looked a bit down without my mother around. I did my best to keep his spirits up, and I had to be there with him as his date. I could do it for my grandfather, but nobody said I would have to talk to Logan. I could ignore him, but I had to be polite since it was Mr. Sangre that invited us.
The ride over to the Sangre house was quiet, and I didn’t attempt to fill the silence. My mind was reeling with too many thoughts to have an actual conversation. Ty had been at the Sangre house for two days now, and I was ready to get back to traveling. We had been planning a trip the furthest back we thought we could travel safely. We planned to go back to Ty’s village before he left it. He knew his way around, and he could keep us hidden and safe while we waited to return. It would tell us if we were ready to try getting my mom back home.
When we reached the house, my grandfather finally spoke.
“We only have to stay for the dinner,” my grandfather told me. He might have noticed that Logan was no longer around.
“What?” I asked. I was expecting to have to stay hours while the older men all talked. At least I had Ty and would be entertained by him, I hoped.
“I know something happened again with you and Logan. I don’t want you to have to stay here any longer than you’re comfortable with,” my grandfather added. “I may be old, but I’m not blind.”
While I was off in my own world trying to get my mom back, I had forgotten how observant my grandfather was. He was paid for his attention to detail, so that was to be expected.
“I want to stay for you,” I replied, reaching over and taking his hand. I wanted him to be happy during the holidays. “Ty will be here. Talk and visit as long as you’d like. I’m sure the two of us can find something to do that won’t get us into trouble.” I grinned at him and he smiled back.
“You look too much like her,” he said as he stared at me.
“Well, I hope so. She is my mother after all,” I replied. “Please, Grandfather, don’t worry about me. I will be fine with Ty. We’re friends.”
“And that worries me, too,” my grandfather added. “I know you two are up to something. You are always talking for hours and reading away at those history books in the library. I can guess it has something to do with finding your mother. Yes, at first I wanted your mother back, but now I have grown to accept it. I was given twenty years with her as my daughter. She filled a void in my heart I didn’t even know I had. But now it’s time to let her have her life. She never did have a life here. She always was with me, taking care of me. I want her to be happy, and if that’s in the past, then that is where she belongs.”
“And what if she isn’t happy?” I asked. It was my major concern.
“Then she will find a way to come back. You don’t need to risk everything to find her. You can stay here and grow up like she wanted. You can have a life here,” he replied as the car pulled up in front of the house. Our chauffeur came out
and opened my door.
“I can’t leave her in the past if she isn’t happy,” I said before exiting the car. I waited for him to stand out of the car. And I couldn’t have a life without Seth.
“You get that from her, you know. She was just as stubborn,” he told me. He offered me his arm, and I took it. “Now, no more talk of dabbling in things you should let go. Let’s go spread some holiday cheer.” His voice actually sounded hopeful. Maybe he really was moving on.
Mr. Sangre and Logan greeted us at the doorway. When Logan bent down to kiss my cheek I tried not to blush. It was too weird after how I last saw him. While Mr. Sangre chatted with my grandfather, I stood and looked around the house. I wasn’t about to chat with Logan.
“Mari,” Ty boomed, coming up to the doorway and taking me away from the Sangres.
“Lifesaver,” I whispered to him.
“Always,” he replied. He led me away from the dining room. “Dinner won’t be ready yet for at least another twenty minutes,” he explained. He kept us walking away. There were several more rooms in the direction we were walking, but I had no clue where we were going now. By the time Ty finally stopped to open the door, he was leading me outside by the pool.
“It’s a little chilly to be going for a swim,” I commented.
“Not a swim. We need to get to my room for a little light reading,” he replied cryptically.
Ty led us past the pool, and I regretted giving my coat away inside. Luckily it wasn’t far, and he was opening a door to the pool house. Once inside, he shut the door behind me and locked it. It was warmer in here and the slight chill I had from our walk around the pool was gone instantly.