"You can beat this perversion, and you came to the right place, there is no full proof way to get rid of homosexuality but with a little prayer every day and ignoring those desires as best as you can you can find deliverance!" Minister said
Then I took those words into context and after his advice I started to think....what was wrong with me? All those lessons in Sunday school and surrounded by the church environment like I knew what I felt....but it felt so wrong, I don't know I mean I knew Bryson really loved me but he's gone now, his parents probably came down his throat too just like mine! But deep down I still wanted to be with him no matter how much I tried to resist...
A month later......
I been at this boujee school for a bit now and slowly I was working on myself. I focused more on my drawings, even tho I was in school for a BA. I loved art, that was one of the electives I had no issues with, every day during lunch I sit by myself and just doodle away in my notebook, when one day this girl from art class came an sat next to me.....
"Hey Aaron,"
"Hey Joslyn, what you doin here?"
"I saw you by yourself and I thought I give you some company!"
"Thanks, but I'm alright!"
"What you drawing it looks amazing?"
"It's a hero I made I don't know exactly what I should call him tho,"
"You know I got my own sketch book in my place.....
I was trying to focus on my art but damn.....this girl was kinda thick and perfect shape, I don't know what was going thru my head but I think this how straight boys act. Joslyn took me to her dorm and showed me all her paintings and stuff like she was a serious artist!
"Damn you got skills!"
"Thanks, I just love art you know, it's so freeing and I can just be in my own world!"
"Yeah I know....hey I didn't know you had superman comics!
"Yeah just a little collection but nothing over the top you know!"
"I'm kinda want a latte you want one too?" I asked
"Ooooh yeah I can sure use one!"
And at that point I didn't know it but......I think I just asked this girl out! So me and Joslyn went to the school coffee stand and got lattes and basically just talked for like 2 hours, I was connecting so much with this gurl, and I was actually enjoying her company! After that lil date I took her back to her dorm room and we said goodbye. I asked her if we could do this lil "latte date" again, and she said yes, and for the first time since all the drama with Bryson, I actually thought I was over him and STRAIGHT just like folks wanted me to be! But no matter how hard I try, Bryson was still on my mind, and maybe we might run into each other again who knows...maybe it was just a phase......
Chapter 7: Switching Sides
January 10th, 2007
Me an Joslyn been seeing each other for like almost a year pretty much! She was so cool and we have everything in common, our art is what brought us together, and I started to really feel something for her! Sometimes I think about Bryson but as I get more and more in touch with Joslyn and grow closer......I actually think I'm straight again!! Maybe my parents were right, and when I went to chapel with Joslyn we sit with each other and it just like being in church again! After chapel we was about to head back to class when Minister Clarence came up to me...
"Aaron, can I speak to you for a minute,"
"Yeah Minister?"
"I see you been delivered, no more homosexual lust or desires?" He asked
"No I really think God changed me! Like I have a girlfriend pretty much now!"
"Well I see the lord has saved you from a trip to hell, well you take care....and you two look wonderful together," said the minister as he walked away
I was actually enjoying this straight thing....kinda, but when I hear like Mariah Carey I get like super gay boy again lol, but I'm trying to refrain from acting to so flamboyant, because Im now "delivered" and I kinda wanna stay that way......kinda.
Later on in the day I was in my dorm getting ready for another date with Joslyn and I was kinda finishing a sketch I was doing, when suddenly my parents called.....I was hesitant to answer them at first after that homophobic fiasco and putting me into this boring ass school! But now that imma changed man I thought maybe they should know about me and Joslyn.
"Hey mom hey dad!"
"Hey Aaron how you liking the new school?" Mom asked
"Well I kinda have a surprise for you guys, but I'm coming home for the weekend I'll show you guys then!"
"Son what's going on, is anything I should be concerned about," asked dad
"Nah nah look just trust me you'll like it!"
Then after I hung up the phone I found a couple pics of me an Joslyn I put in my wallet, I was gonna take them with me when I see my family again.
Saturday Morning.....
After much thought I decided to go back to Columbia and see my parents, I even promised to go to church with them! When I got there mom greeted me and dad hugged me, we sat down on the couch and I just told them....
"Things are going good at school, listen I know last year you guys didn't like my.....gay relationship with Bryson but some things have changed.....in delivered!" I jumped up and said
"What do you mean Aaron?" Dad asked
"Look.....this is Joslyn, my um.....girlfriend!"
"Oh Aaron, she's pretty!" Mom said beaming with joy
"Yeah we met in art class, she's pretty, she means a lot to me..."
"Well son, I'm glad you going on the right path, because you don't want to be caught in an unnatural spirit, you know what I mean son!" Dad lectured
"Yeah dad I understand,"
"Well tomorrow I want us all to go to church!" Mom said
I didn't know what to feel, going back to my old church where me an Bryson started our relationship, it was kinda bittersweet cause I wouldn't see him again..
Sunday morning....
It was time to back to church, and I was sitting in the sanctuary with my parents. All the nosey ass, old ass, hypocritical ass church folk came and tried to get into my business! I showed all them Joslyn, one bitch even asked about marrying her!! Like no we just dating it ain't serious like that! Then across the way I saw Bryson's mom she was all by herself in the middle pew, so after the preacher was done I went over to talk to her....
"Hey miss Roberts...."
"What do you want...?” Henrietta asked kinda meanly
"I just wanted to say hi, I thought.....
"You thought what....you think imma forget seeing you kiss all on my son!" She protested
"Look I'm sorry, but I'm straight now pretty much, look at my girlfriend....what ever happened to Bryson?"
"He joined the army, we didn't talk for a bit but he's getting over it.....let's hope it stays that way!" Said Henrietta
Seeing the mean look in her eyes was just made me relive the shameful feeling all over again! Like at this point I just wanted to get away from here, an get on with my life.....later on that night I said goodbye to my folks, they liked Joslyn a lot and now mom talkin bout marriage....bitch slow ya rolls! On the drive back I turned on the radio to have something to listen to and low an behold it was "Hurts The Most" by Monica.....man just hearing those lyrics I began to think about me an Bryson, I tried to get it out my mind but those times he held my hand, the car sex, his smile.....GODDAMN I MISS HIM SOO MUCH!!!
When I came back to my dorm, I kinda had tears in my eyes, I lost the REAL love of my life! I thought being with Joslyn and being straight is what God wanted....but maybe he knows that deep down I LOVE BRYSON!!!
I was still awake so I decided to work on some graphics on my laptop, when I checked my phone....it had a voicemail, and I got the best news of my life!!
"Hi this is Mindy from Covertoons Creations we saw your portfolio and we would love to discuss an opportunity of Creative Partner for our firm in New York....call us back, bye!"
"OH MY GAWWWWWWD......OMG OMG OMG I GOTTA CALL THESE FOLKS BACK THIS COU
LD BE MY BIG BREAK......HELLO, yeah I got your message.....nah it's okay I'm usually up this late....yeah I'm very interested I'll take it.....nah NYC ain't no problem....good I'll see you Tuesday....thank you so much bye!!"
And after that good news I was running up and down, like a crazy ass child, then I almost forgot To call Joslyn.....cause that's my girlfriend...I called her and I knew it was kinda late but it was big news! She told me that she had a huge event coming up at her church and she couldn't make it, but she said she'll support me all the way!!
Tuesday January 14th, 2007....
I WAS IN NEW YORK FUCKIN CITY!!! I got a lil hotel in Queens cause lord knows I can't afford no fancy Manhattan lodge! I went to see the folks that called me, they were working on this huge project.....superstar rapper Ja Rule wanted to make his own cartoon basically, and I showed them my designs and then they went to a board room meeting, at first I was nervous as hell but then they came out all smiles!!
"Aaron...we are pleased to welcome you to the Covertoons team!!" Said Mindy
I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN SHE SAID THAT OMG!! WHEN I GOT OUT I DECIDED TO GO TO MANHATTAN AT ONE OF THOSE OLD SCHOOL DINERS JUST CELEBRATE WITH A BIG JUCIY BURGER AND FRIES!!! I called Joslyn and told her all the good fuckin news!
"OMG BABE CONGRATS!! THIS IS SOOOOO HUGE LIKE OH MY GOD.....JA RULE.....I WISH I WAS UP THERE TO CELEBRATE WITH U!!"
"It's okay.....listen imma go to Central Park I always wanted to go there!!
I was so excited, I had the biggest smile on my face!! I didn't tell my parents yet because they really don't care for art....I was happy as a jay bird I didn't look where I goin till I bumped into somebody.......
"Oh.....I'm so sorry bro!"
"Nah its alrigh.......Aaron!
"Bryson.........!"
Chapter 8: The One I Really Love
I couldn't believe it......Bryson was standing right in front of me! I missed him soooo much, at first I thought I forgot about him and I wasn't gay no more...but seeing him instantly brought back those memories!
"How you been?" He asked in that deep voice that I missed
"Wow...um a lot has happened, you wanna go for a lil walk?"
Then Bryson left the waitress a tip, and we walked out the diner....TOGETHER! We were basically walkin up and down 4th avenue and time just flew by!! I see this man kinda changed in a year, he grew a lil beard (which was very sexy) he got a new haircut, and he gotta lil thick too....lord he had a really nice ass! But I told him everything that happened...
"Man life been crazy....I joined the army like I said, my parents were pissed because of us being together so we didn't talk for a bit but they slowly forgiving me, I was stationed at a base on Long Island and after I was discharged they paid for my construction certificate and now I'm workin here in the big apple!"
"Damn I'm happy for you! Well after we split my folks were determined to get the gay outta me so they sent me to this like Christian college and then I met this girl named Joslyn....we been seeing each other for like 7 months or so..."
"Do you like her?" Bryson asked
"Well I thought I was straight again, but.........Bryson I missed you, you had no idea how much it killed me inside when you were gone, I...."
"Aaron, do you still love me?" Bryson asked as he came closer to me
"Yes.....yes I do, I never really stopped!"
AND THEN IN THAT MOMEMT WE SHARED A LONG OVERDUE KISS....AND AT THAT MOMENT I FORGOT WHO JOSLYN EVEN WAS! DAMN THAT KISS FELT SOOOO GOOD WE BOTH DIDN'T EVEN WANNA STOP.....but that's how much I missed him!
"Baby, we can we back to yo place?" I asked him softly
"Ain't even gotta ask......"
Then we both looked into each other's eyes and smiled!! He took me to his temporary apartment in Brooklyn and he took me to his room.....this nigga dimmed the lights, took off my shirt an started kissing my neck, his lips felt so good and he knew how to kiss!! Then pushed me on the bed and then he got on top and ripped off his shirt....HOLY FUCK...BEING IN THAT ARMY BUFFED HIM UP GODDAMN HE WAS SO BUILT!!
Then he took my hand and put it on his chest....I felt his abs....IT MADE ME SO WEAK! Suddenly he rips my pants off, uplifts my legs and then pressed his chocolate body on top of mine kissing all on me!
"You ready for it....,"
"Yes daddy....."
Then Bryson buried his face into my booty and his tongue action was just......I was grabbing sheets, it was like prom night allover again!! After he got me super stimulated He then got this cream, rubbed on his hard dick and then a lil on my backdoor.....and I felt him as he went inside, giving it a couple strokes and then HARDER AND FASTER, KISSIN ON ME WHILE HE WAS POUNDING....I WAS MOANING HARD AS FUCK!! HE HAD SUCH GOOD DICK!! I FELT LIKE THIS WOULD GO ON ALL NIGHT.....
It was morning and the aftermath of our hot sex! Bryson was makin breakfast for me while I slept in the bed, I woke up to see him cookin ooooh he looked so sexy, all shirtless and chocolate!
"Good morning baby!" He said
"Good morning babe, my sexy ass nigga!
"How you feelin?"
"Like a train just ran thru me.....a really nice big train!"
"Yeah last night was amazing as fuck I'm still kinda feelin it!" He said as we both kissed
"Well I wanted to tell you yesterday but....we got occupied....um you know how I told you I like art and stuff, well this like cartoon company called me, BABY YOU LOOKIN AT A CREATIVE PARTNER FOR COVERTOONS!!"
"Oh shit baby this is great, where is it?"
"That's another thing, it's here in New York, so I was thinking now that we back together we can live together...cuz Bryson, baby I wanna be with you!"
"I want you too, let's do it let's move in together, so I can run that train thru you over an over!!"
This was like a dream come true, me an Bryson were finally back together! I knew I couldn't be straight, I can't stop loving this nigga! But there was one issue.....before I go any further I had move away from Orange Grove and Joslyn. I don't know how I'll break the news to her but she has to know!
Saturday January 18th, 2007.....
After a couple days reuniting with Bryson....and more sex, we decided it was time to get my things from the college and move into Bryson's place, so we drove down to North Carolina and as I went into my dorm with Bryson, Joslyn saw me.....and she was upset.
"What happened to you! You left for 4 days and don't even call....who is she!"
"Look I can explain, first I got the job and I'm moving to New York, but there isn't a "she"....this is Bryson....my boyfriend!"
Then Joslyn suddenly ran away to like this corner, I knew she wouldn’t take it well but I had to tell her! So I found her on this bench crying,
"Why, why did you this to me I thought we had something!" She wailed
"I know, but I didn't tell you but before you me and Bryson were together and then our parents found out and we split apart, I thought when I met you I was straight again but....."
"You still love him don't you?"
"I never really stopped."
"Does he make you happy?"
"Hell yeah, I’m very happy, I didn't mean to lead you on like this but I'm gay, and I love that man with everything in me!"
"If you're truly happy, then I can't stand in the way, I don't understand it but I can see that you really love him and by the look on your face I bet he puts it down!"
"Yesss!"
"I'm sorry Aaron,"
Then me and Joslyn like hugged it out, she cried a lil bit but at least she understands....after I got my stuff me and Bryson went back to OUR home and we felt like a real couple! All this time I waited for this moment, and my heart finally found a place where it belonged....with this man! But our parents who split us up to begin with didn't know, so me and Bryson decided not to tell them.....at least not now but when we feel ready.
March 9th, 2007
Bryson and me have been living together for a few months, and my career was taking of
f, I really was in a good place on my life! But then Bryson knew the lease the apartment was almost up and his 22nd birthday was coming up so I decided since we was both bringing in some good ass money that for his birthday we get somethin real nice.....A HOUSE! Now New York ain't the most affordable place, and we kind got tired of the city so Bryson drove me out to this lil town called Coram like it was near East Hampton that's how far it was!
"Are we almost there yet?" I asked
"Babe calm down the map says the house should be right up this street!"
Then Bryson turned down this street and came up to this cute lil house...It was $274,000 and in New York that was a fuckin bargain! We looked around and decided at that moment it was the perfect house!
"Baby let's get this house! With our jobs we can afford it!" I said happily