Read Circle of Desire Page 23


  He kissed the tears from her cheeks, then shifted their bodies, and the heat of him claimed her in the most basic way possible. It felt so right, and yet so wrong. Because it wasn’t her he was seeing. Wasn’t her he was claiming.

  He began to rock inside her. She trembled, biting her lip, fighting the urge to move with him. She couldn’t do this. Had to stop him. But how, she had no idea.

  “Under the divine light of the moon, I offer you my heart.” His voice was a stroke of heat across her lips.

  She closed her eyes. It felt like her own heart was shattering into a million pieces. “Don’t,” she whispered, but the magic surged, and she found herself adding, “Under her light, I offer you mine.”

  His rocking became stronger. It felt so good she wanted to cry. “Don’t do this, Ethan. Don’t make promises you’ll regret when the fever is gone.”

  He still wasn’t hearing her. Or maybe the moon’s spell had him convinced he was at last making the promises he’d never had the chance to make.

  Would it be so wrong to give in to that dream? To pretend, just for a moment, he was seeing and making his promises to her?

  Yes, she thought. It would.

  He’d said he would hate anyone who tried to trap him by becoming pregnant. Why would pretending to be someone else to gain his promises be any different?

  She wasn’t Jacinta. She could never hold his heart, as much as she might have believed otherwise. This night, and this ceremony he seemed determined to continue, were proof of that.

  “Under the divine light, I offer you my soul,” he continued.

  The sting of magic was becoming stronger, his movements more urgent. Sweat bathed her skin as she battled the sweet sensations rolling through her. “Don’t do this. Don’t say these words.” Because she was certain the magic he was raising would be permanent.

  She thought about pulling away again but knew it wouldn’t be safe now that the spell was under way. He might not have known what sex magic was, but that was what this spell was. And like all magic, there would be proper protocols to follow in breaking it. Without knowing those, she had no hope of stopping it—not without endangering them both.

  Heat and magic shimmered between them, warming the night. Warming her. He was pushing her into a place where only sensation existed, and that was dangerous. She had to keep her head. Had to watch what she said, or she might well bind herself to this man forever.

  Though in many respects, there was no need of magic to do that, because she already was bound to him in more ways than he would ever know.

  His movements were filled with rising urgency. Deep down the tremors were beginning, spreading through her body like a wave. She gripped his shoulders, digging her nails into his flesh as she fought the sensations. Fought the need to just let go. Fought the words forming on her lips.

  But there was no stopping them.

  “By her light, I offer you mine.” Moisture ran down her cheeks, dripping from her chin. Tears he didn’t even see.

  His thrusts became more demanding. Jolts shook her, building to a crescendo. “Oh God, Ethan, don’t.” But the words came out as little more than a strangled groan as her body burned with the need for release.

  “Then let our souls become one as our bodies have become one.”

  Still the words came. “Let the moon bless and rejoice in this union.”

  “Do you accept the gift of my seed?” he ground out. “Do you accept the promises of the night and the moon?”

  His seed. That she could accept because she was already pregnant. “Yes,” she gasped. “Yes.”

  The dance of magic seemed to explode around them, and her climax came in a rush of power that stole her breath, stole all thought, and swept her into a world that was sheer, unadulterated bliss. A heartbeat later he went rigid against her, the power of his release tearing a roar from his throat that sounded so very briefly like a wolf howling her name to the moon.

  He held her for one last thrust, then his lips sought hers, his kiss a lingering taste of heat.

  “Let our souls become one as our bodies have become one. What the moon has joined, let no man break.”

  The thrum of magic muted but didn’t entirely die at his words. In some ways, it felt incomplete. She hoped that meant the spell of binding—if that was indeed what it was—hadn’t worked.

  He kissed her nose, her forehead. His lips were warm against her skin and stirred the embers of desire to life. He was still hard inside her, and she wondered if that was the spell or simply the need of a werewolf caught by the moon.

  “By the moon’s divine light, let us now celebrate this union,” he continued.

  Magic seemed to flow through every pore of her being. It felt as if the moon itself was blessing her. Blessing them. She fought the sting of more tears. But right now, she could do nothing more than follow this through to the end.

  And hope Ethan didn’t hate her too much when he came out from under the moon’s spell.

  KAT BIT HER LIP TO STOP HER TEETH FROM CHATTERING and carefully eased out from under Ethan’s arm. He might be immune to the cold, but it felt as if ice had settled into her bones. Making love under the stars was fine in summer, but in the midst of winter it was something close to hell. At least it was when the passion was over and you were left lying on the cold, wet ground.

  The moon had long ago waned, but it had been only in the last half hour that their so-called celebrations had eased into sleep. If his snores were anything to go by, he wouldn’t wake for at least another couple of hours.

  Though any other man would certainly have slept beyond tomorrow.

  She rose. While she was muddy and cold and more than half wishing she hadn’t so readily discarded the wet blanket, she also felt incredibly invigorated. Maybe the magic he’d raised still pulsed through her blood. Or maybe it was simply all the great sex they’d shared.

  Only it was more than just sex. It was a commitment. But not one meant for her.

  She thrust away the pain of that thought and glanced skyward. Though the rain had stopped, the night was still bitter, and she didn’t particularly want to leave him lying there naked. Frowning, she raised a hand and kinetically retrieved his discarded jeans. Then she turned the energy on him, lifting him gently and carefully pulling his jeans up his legs.

  She took the condoms from his pocket, then eased him back down. He stirred, murmuring something she couldn’t quite catch. She waited until he was still again, then gathered a heap of undergrowth and leaves from beneath the nearby trees and covered him. The end result wasn’t really adequate—not if she wanted to keep him from freezing to death. She bit her lip for a moment, then changed form and went in search of the blanket she’d discarded. With that retrieved, she cocooned him in its thick warmth, then covered him again with undergrowth. It would help keep him warm and provide some cover from inquisitive eyes—whether human or animal.

  She lifted her arms and called to the wildness of her alternate shape. On night-dark wings, she headed back to her grandmother.

  Gwen had the door open as Kat approached, allowing her to arrow inside before she shifted shape. “You just missed Ethan’s boss and partner. They’ve been keeping me company while we waited for you two.” Gwen hesitated, eyes twinkling and a smile twitching her lips. “Where have you left him?”

  Kat kissed Gwen’s leathery cheek. “Sleeping the sleep of the well sated. I hope. Do you mind if I shower while we chat? I need to get warm again.”

  She threw the condoms on the table and headed into the bathroom. Gwen followed her in and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “Something happened out there, didn’t it?”

  Kat felt the temperature of the water, then stepped inside the shower. “Yeah,” she said, avoiding the intentness of her grandmother’s gaze by raising her face to the stream of heat. “The mara tried to blow us up again.”

  “I know that. Benton got a call from the sheriff stating you and Ethan were still missing after being caught in a motel explosion.”


  She spat the water out of her mouth and quickly explained what had happened. “If the soul-sucker thinks we’re dead, it gives us a huge advantage. One we’d better take immediately.”

  “Then you’re intending to go after her?”

  “We don’t dare do anything until we get those kids to safety. Once we have, you and I are free to confront the bitch.”

  Gwen nodded. “I don’t hear Ethan’s name mentioned in any of that.”

  “He’ll be with me this morning.”

  “And later?”

  “It’s you and me. Ethan’s task will be to get his niece to safety.”

  “And you think he’ll settle for that?”

  She smiled grimly. “It’s what he came for. It’s all he wants.” Other than Jacinta. She grabbed the soap and quickly began washing.

  The heat of her grandmother’s gaze burned into Kat’s back. After a while Kat said, “What?”

  “You didn’t answer my question, you know.”

  “That’s because nothing of importance happened. You want to work up a kit of goodies I can take into the cave? I have to get back to Ethan in case he wakes.”

  She knew her grandmother wasn’t fooled by her casual tone and words. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away. Right now, she really didn’t want to talk about it. Not when there were more important things to worry about.

  Besides, she definitely didn’t want to know for certain that she’d committed her heart, her body, and her soul to a man who would never love her.

  Gwen sighed, then levered herself off the bathtub and walked out. Kat closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the cool tiles. He’d told and told her he couldn’t love her, but she’d refused to believe him. Until tonight. Until he’d made his promises and celebrated a union to a woman that she wasn’t. It hurt. God, how it hurt!

  My fault, she thought. If she hadn’t been so pig-headedly certain she was right and he was wrong … She took a deep breath and pushed away from the tiles. Right and wrong weren’t important. Getting those kids back was. Everything else would save for later.

  She finished washing and quickly dried herself before heading into her bedroom to get dressed. She grabbed a sweater and boots for Ethan, then walked back into the living room.

  Gwen offered her the backpack. “You’ve got stakes, sleep bombs that’ll affect both zombies and shape-shifters—oh, and some masks for you and Ethan for protection—and some holy water. Be careful.”

  Kat swung the pack over her shoulders and gave her grandmother a hug. “Keep safe.”

  “I intend to kick this thing’s butt, so don’t worry about me.”

  Kat grinned and grabbed her cell phone off the table. “It’ll take us an hour to get back up the mountain on foot, and God knows how long to snatch the kids. If you get a car, I’ll give you a call and let you know where to meet us.”

  “I might let Ethan’s boss in on the pickup. Might be handy if we can swap the kids into a different car somewhere along the line.”

  “Good idea.” She kissed her grandmother, then headed for the door.

  “Kat?”

  She hesitated and looked over her shoulder. The understanding in her grandmother’s green eyes threatened to shatter the wall she was building around her emotions.

  “The promises a werewolf makes under the divine light are very rarely false ones.”

  “They are if the woman he sees when he’s making his promises is not the one he’s with,” she said, and walked out.

  THE SOFT SOUND OF A FOOTSTEP WOKE ETHAN. HE DIDN’T open his eyes, remaining still as he listened. Material scraped against wood, then silence fell again. The wind whispered through the trees and thunder rumbled in the distance. The air was crisp, cold, and filled with the scent of the storm, the ripeness of the wet ground, and Kat.

  Her scent was on his skin, her taste in his mouth. Every intake of air seemed bathed in her essence. Longing stirred his body to life, but right now, it was a need he had to ignore. At least until he found out what had happened and how he’d gotten here.

  There was only one thing he was certain of—hours had passed. The storm had eased, and dawn had come and gone. But the full moon was closer than ever, and the hunger in his veins would continue to escalate right through the day until the animal in his soul finally took control. Only then would he be free of the burning need.

  He looked around. Kat was fully dressed and sitting cross-legged on a log six feet away.

  “Gwen dropped by,” she said before he could ask. “She also brought some weapons.”

  She was lying, though why he was so certain he couldn’t say. He pushed away the forest and blanket covering him and rose. Her gaze skated down his body and jumped away, but he could smell her arousal as easily as he could feel his own.

  “What happened after the explosion?” he asked.

  Her posture suggested wariness, and something churned in his gut. What on earth had he done?

  “You don’t remember?”

  He caught the sweater she tossed him. “Not a lot after the explosion.” He hesitated. He remembered the power of the moon singing through his veins, through the very air around them. Remembered howling her name to the moon. He brushed his fingers across his jeans pockets as he pulled on the sweater. Most of the condoms were gone, but that didn’t really mean he’d used them. “I remember making love.”

  Relief flared briefly in her eyes, but he had a feeling it wasn’t because of what he remembered but rather what he didn’t. And that only made fear tighten his gut further.

  “The explosion blew us and the bathtub well clear of the motel, but the moon had you in its grip. We escaped into this forest.”

  “And made love?”

  She tossed him his boots and looked away again, but not before he’d seen the sheen of tears in her eyes. What in hell had he done?

  “Now that the moon fever has abated—”

  “It hasn’t,” he said sharply. “And it won’t now. Not until the change comes.”

  Her eyes widened a little, glimmering brightly in the light. “Can you control it? We need to get back to the cavern. The soul-sucker thinks we’re dead, and this may be our best chance to grab those kids.”

  “I’ll control it.” He covered the distance separating them in two steps and placed a finger under her chin, turning her gaze back to his. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”

  God, he hoped not, but with the heat of the moon burning through his veins, anything was possible.

  Her smile seemed forced. “No, you didn’t hurt me.”

  He frowned. She was still lying, and he wasn’t sure why. “Then what happened? Why are you so upset?”

  “It’s been a long few days, and I haven’t had much sleep. I tend to get emotional at the stupidest things when I’m tired. Don’t worry about it.” She pulled her chin from his grip and rose. “We have to move.”

  His frown deepened. “If you’re tired, it might be better—”

  “No.”

  Her eyes flashed with annoyance and something else. Something that looked a lot like desperation. It was an emotion that made no sense, though maybe it would if he could just remember what had happened between them.

  “We have the advantage right now,” she continued. “And we have to use it to get those kids back. How good is your sense of direction?”

  “Very.” And she was right about getting the kids back. The nagging sense that he’d stepped beyond some self-imposed boundary could wait until Janie was safe and in his brother’s arms once again. He grabbed the pack out of Kat’s hands and slung it over his shoulders. “Let’s go.”

  He pushed through the undergrowth, forcing a path where there was none, taking the most direct route back to the cavern. She walked behind him, a silent shadow he was all too aware of.

  The totality of that awareness worried him. That he’d be sexually aware of her was natural, given he was a wolf and the moon bloomed almost full. But this went far deeper. He could feel her s
cent in his pores, feel every breath she took. Her emotions not only swam around him but through him, so that her unhappiness became his. It made him want to turn around, pull her into his arms, and simply hold her until all the hurt faded away. Which was something she neither needed nor wanted.

  But it was more than just that. He had a feeling he only had to reach out with his thoughts and he would touch hers. Completely. It was almost as if they had become two parts of a whole.

  No, he thought. It isn’t possible. He cast a troubled glance skyward. Even though dawn had passed by several hours ago and the moon had long faded from the sky, he could feel its presence. Feel its power. The full moon broke tonight, which meant the night just past had been the night of promises. A night when the power of the moon could be raised to bind. A time when soul mates promised eternity.

  Kat wasn’t his soul mate. He couldn’t have performed that ceremony.

  But what if he had?

  What if, through some vicious quirk of fate, the damn spell had worked?

  If it had, he’d bound them together. Heart. Soul. Body. For as long as they both lived. And while the thought sent an odd thrum of excitement through his veins, she deserved far more than just his lustful visits during the bloom of the moon. Deserved more than just his caring.

  The spell couldn’t have worked. It took love to initiate that spell. Love to complete it.

  He didn’t love her. Couldn’t love her. Because of Jacinta.

  He scrubbed a hand across his jaw and wished his memory would return. But that didn’t always happen when the moon fever burned high. He could ask her, but he had a feeling honesty wasn’t high on her list of priorities right now.

  The slope steepened and his muscles began to burn with effort. Sweat trickled down his back, and he thrust up his sleeves, needing to get some cool air circulating across his skin. The tang of Kat’s sweat flamed the sparks of desire, but her breathing was short and sharp, and that concerned him. She needed a break, needed time to recoup her strength. The thought brought a grim smile to his lips. He’d probably been responsible for sapping a fair amount of her energy during the night. And if he was honest, given half the chance he’d probably waste a whole lot more. But while he wanted her, it wasn’t the urgency of the moon thrumming through his veins right now. It was something far more powerful. Something he didn’t dare put a name to.