“But how? If Alice will not agree to help us, I don’t see how we can possibly force her. It’s true we might be able to get her to Avebury against her will, but there would be no way to force her to participate in the Rite.”
“I don’t have the answers, Dimitri. Not now.” I close my eyes. “I simply know that I cannot wait, and that I’m very tired.”
He stands, bending over me. Before I can protest, he lifts me into his arms and begins walking toward the bed. His arms are strong and unfaltering, and I feel as if he could carry me forever without tiring.
“What are you doing?” I ask softly.
His face is very near mine, his eyes bottomless pools of liquid onyx. “I’m taking you to bed so that you may sleep.”
We reach the bed and Dimitri lowers me gently to the mattress, pulling the covers up to my shoulders. He sits carefully on the edge of the bed, bending to kiss me softly on the mouth. His lips are supple on mine.
“Everything will look better in the morning, you’ll see. Just sleep, my love.”
It seems an impossible task, but soon I am slipping into the darkness.
Dimitri’s face is the last thing I see.
I am back in the Void, Samael closer than ever before. The putrid scent of the Souls is overpowering. I feel the hot breath of their horses on my back.
Even in my dream, I am tired. I go through the motions of spurring my horse forward. Of trying to outrun the Beast and his army of fallen angels. But part of me already knows it’s futile, and my horse slows a little at a time until a great tug pulls me from his back.
I hit the ice hard, but it is a sensation I only dimly register. I don’t feel the pain of it as I would in my world. And there is no time to dwell on it. The army of Souls surrounds me in a circle as I lie on the ice, and I know it’s over.
Now I will be consigned beneath the ice for all eternity.
But first, He will come.
I hear the horse, snorting as it makes its way through the crowd of parting Souls, as if angry I have led it on such a chase. I feel the heartbeat, beginning as a low rumble in my chest, vibrating from within as it grows stronger and nearer. Soon I hear it, too. Not just the heart of Samael, the Beast, but my own heart, beating in time with his.
It is strangely comforting, and if I close my eyes, I can almost believe I am in the womb. I lie back on the ice, giving myself over to the beating heart, the feathers of Samael’s wings fluttering like black snow around my body. They touch my face, soft as a kiss, when they fall.
And I think, Yes. It is this easy after all.
When I awake I am shaking. My bones are rattling as if loose in my skin, my teeth clanking together.
“What? What is—”
“Lia! Wake up, Lia!” It is Dimitri’s face that hovers over mine, and I wonder absently why he does not want me to sleep.
Didn’t he say I was supposed to sleep? Or was that a dream?
I am confused, disoriented, and I look around, wondering if I am in the woods on the way to Altus, in Loughcrew, in one of our many camps on the way back to England. But no. I see the richly papered walls of my chamber, the carved wood of my bedposts at Milthorpe Manor.
There is pressure on my shoulders. It is uncomfortable, nearly painful, and when I look I am surprised to find that Dimitri’s hands are the source.
“What are you doing?” I try to sit up. “You’re hurting me!”
He drops his hands from my body, holding them up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry! God, I’m sorry, Lia. But… You…”
His gaze is dark, haunted, and when I follow it I see why.
Something is in my left hand. Something trailing black velvet. I sit up, my breath catching in my throat as I open my fingers and see the medallion resting there. In my palm, not on my wrist as it should be. As it was when I went to sleep.
I look into Dimitri’s eyes, and he moves to take the medallion from my hand.
“You were thrashing about in your sleep, and when I came to wake you, you suddenly stopped.” He ceases talking, a look of puzzlement crossing his face as he meets my eyes once again. “And then you just lay back and removed the medallion from your wrist, as calmly as if you were wide awake and aware of what you were doing.”
I shake my head. “But I wasn’t. I didn’t.”
“Yet, the fact remains: You removed the medallion yourself, Lia.” There is real fear in his eyes as he continues. “And you were trying to use it to bring forth the Souls.”
I know from the expression on the other girls’ faces that I look as bad as I feel.
I have called them to the parlor, along with Aunt Virginia, after a sleepless night in which Dimitri and I discussed every possibility. I knew from the beginning there was only one thing to do, but he insisted on walking through all of the options. In the end, he agreed to my decision only because he had no choice. I will do what I must with or without his support.
There is simply no other way.
I scan the faces of the keys—Luisa, Sonia, Helene, and Brigid. They are so much more to me than pieces of the prophecy, yet none of us will be free if we don’t act now. And whether they realize it or not, our alliance will not suffer another year of waiting—of hoping—to bring Alice to our side.
“Is everything okay, Lia?” Sonia asks. “You don’t look well.”
She sits next to Luisa on the sofa, with Brigid on her other side. Helene sits on the tall-backed chair. I am already unsurprised to see her so separate from the others.
“I’ve been up most of the night trying to formulate a plan for moving forward.”
It is no accident that I do not answer her question by telling her that I’m all right. That everything is fine. I will not lie. Not to myself, and not to the others whose lives have been altered by the prophecy.
“Alice refused you.” It is a statement of fact, though Sonia’s voice is gentle. She, more than anyone, knows how my feelings for Alice still twist and turn.
I nod, swallowing against the lump in my throat.
None of the girls looks surprised, but it is Luisa who speaks. “Now what? What do we do next?”
I take a deep breath, studying my hands, not wanting to meet their eyes. “Though the prophecy doesn’t technically have to be concluded this year, I will not survive to see another Beltane.”
Sonia begins to protest, but I look up, raising my hand to stop her. “It’s true, Sonia, however much we wish it were not. I haven’t been well. I battle the Souls even in my sleep, and I grow weaker by the day.” I bite my lip, for the next will be the hardest thing to admit yet. “Just last night Dimitri stopped me from wearing the medallion over my mark. From bringing forth more Souls.”
Sonia’s eyes are full of sadness, and something close to pity. It rallies my sense of dignity, and I sit straighter, willing strength into my voice. If I must lead them toward danger, I will at least be worthy of the responsibility.
“I don’t know if I have the strength, the authority, to close the Gate without Alice. It may not even be possible. But if I don’t try… If I wait…” I look at each of them, wanting to be sure they understand the ramifications of waiting. “I’ll be waiting to die. To have my soul entombed in the Void. Then no one will be able to close the Gate until a new Angel is appointed. And that could take centuries.”
“We could all die this way.” There is a note of accusation in Helene’s voice when she finally speaks.
I hesitate. “Yes, though I don’t believe you would. Without me, you are, forgive me for saying, somewhat useless to Samael and the Souls. It is my belief that whatever happens at Avebury, you would be spared.”
“But you cannot be certain,” Helene points out.
I shake my head. “No.”
“But, Lia…” Brigid’s voice is gentle. “If you cannot close the Gate, will you not certainly die? What if the Rite calls you to the Otherworlds? Wouldn’t the Souls be able to detain you there, given your weakened condition?”
I cast a glance at Dim
itri before answering. My easy acceptance of my possible fate is not as easy for him.
“It’s possible, yes. But I cannot… I cannot sit here waiting, day after day, for the Souls to weaken me enough to claim me for the Void. I am—” My voice shakes, and I try to steady it before continuing. “I am tired. I would rather see this end, for all of us, than subject you to an endless wait in which all of your lives are placed on hold.”
“So we would travel to Avebury in time for the sunrise on Beltane, fulfill the Rite, and… what? Try to close the Gate without Alice?”
I nod. “I would summon what power remains and ask you to do the same, and we will try to force the Gate closed without her. It’s a gamble, but no more than the one we take each and every day we wait.” I play with a loose thread on the skirt of my gown.
“And if we are unable to do it without her?” Sonia asks softly.
I shrug. “Then whatever will be will be. I’ll likely be detained in the Void, and you will all go on to live the full lives you so deserve. It’s a sacrifice I’ll make to end my own torment and see to your freedom.” I look at Aunt Virginia, taking in her frail frame. “All of you.”
Luisa looks at Dimitri. “I assume you’ve already tried to talk her out of this?”
His arms are folded across his body, his jaw set in a line of barely controlled frustration. “All night long.”
Luisa nods, turning back to me. “Then there’s nothing to do but help you, Lia. Help you find the peace you need. I, for one, will do everything possible to see that you get it. Even this.”
“And I, as well,” Brigid says.
We all look at Helene. She straightens her back, heaving a frustrated sigh. “Well, if it will free me of this business and get me back to Spain, I suppose I’ll do it.”
I wonder if it is my imagination that the rest of us breathe a collective sigh of relief into the room.
My gaze rests on Sonia, and she stands, walking toward me and lowering herself next to Luisa. “I would bear the burden of being a key forever to keep you with us, but if this is what you need, you have it. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help you, Lia.”
Tears of gratitude spring to my eyes. I push them back as I give Sonia and Luisa’s hands a quick squeeze before rising.
“Let’s prepare to leave then, shall we?”
33
A week has passed, and as I prepare for bed in my chamber, I am still surprised that we are packed and ready to go.
Gareth, Dimitri, and Edmund have made most of the arrangements, putting everything quickly in place despite the fact that we have a larger group than ever before. Luisa, Sonia, and I have done everything possible to prepare Helene for the rigors of the journey, for while Brigid held her own on the way back from Loughcrew, Helene has in the past ridden only sidesaddle—and certainly never in breeches.
As I put on my nightdress and brush through my hair, I think about the time Sonia, Luisa, and I have spent trying to increase Helene’s confidence with the horses. After two frustrating days at Whitney Grove, we have lost patience with her whining and despair that she will not be able to stay atop her horse should strenuous riding be necessary. To make matters worse, she flatly refuses to wear the breeches that Brigid accepted without question. I couldn’t care less about her attire the rest of the time, but in this case, her stubbornness could cost us all our lives should we have to race through the forest as we did on the way to Altus.
I turn toward a knock at the door, knowing it’s probably Dimitri. “Come in.”
He steps through the door. The worry lines about his eyes tell me that he is unhappy to have agreed to tonight’s plan. Crossing the room, he makes his way to me, reaching for my hands and bringing me to my feet. He pulls me toward him, wrapping my body in the arms that never cease to make me feel safe, however false the illusion. It is not my imagination that he has held me tighter, longer, these past few days. As if afraid I’ll disappear from his grasp at any moment.
Finally, I pull back just enough to look into his eyes. “Are you ready?”
He nods. “But only because there’s no way to change your mind.”
I feel the sadness in my smile. “You’re right. There isn’t.”
The decision to visit the Otherworlds one last time was an easy one to make. I don’t know what will happen at Avebury, but I must be honest with myself: Without Alice’s help, there is every possibility that my soul will be detained in the Void, my body left to die. My parents—and probably Henry with them—have risked their souls to remain in the Otherworlds in case I should need their assistance. It is only right that I should free them to cross into the Final World, in the event that I don’t live to see it done. And though I am at peace with my fate, I want to see my parents and brother one more time. I want to speak to them and embrace them.
More than anything, I want to say goodbye.
I let go of Dimitri’s hand, making my way to the bed and climbing into it. He sits next to me, running his fingers across my cheek and all the way to my chin. “If you let me come with you, I’ll be able to see that you return safely.”
I shake my head. I have already rejected this argument. “I won’t have you suffer repercussions—or worse yet, forfeit your place with the Grigori entirely—because of me.”
He looks away, clenching his jaw. “You still don’t understand, do you?” His voice is petulant.
“What?” I raise myself up on my elbows. “What don’t I understand?”
He turns his face to mine. “Do you think I worry over my place with the Grigori? Do you think, after everything that’s happened between us, that I care about repercussions?” He shakes his head, looking away for a moment before turning back to me with fire in his eyes. “You’re everything to me, Lia. I would forfeit my place with the Grigori in an instant if it meant seeing you safely to the other side of the prophecy.”
Reaching up, I fasten my arms around his neck, touching my lips to his. It does not take long for the tender kiss to become passionate, urgent, and I press my body to his, knowing that the feelings between us are all the more powerful for the knowledge that we may lose each other in the coming days. A flutter rises from my stomach, becoming urgent as it spreads to every part of my body. He must feel it as well, for he tips my head to gain better access to my mouth, and I press myself even closer to his body, wanting to melt into him in this one moment.
Wanting to be inside his skin, his body, his soul.
He removes his hands from the tangle of my hair, placing them instead on my shoulders.
“Lia… Lia.” He lifts one of my hands, turning it over and kissing my palm before leaving a trail with his lips to the tender skin at the inside of my wrist. He leaves a last kiss on the raised skin of my mark before meeting my eyes. “I had hoped to have a lifetime to hold you. To love you.”
I reach out, touching my fingertips to his forehead before letting my hand drop back into my lap. I don’t know how I can smile, but somehow his love makes me stronger, and it’s not so hard after all.
“I promise I’ll fight, Dimitri. I’ll fight to stay with you.” I shrug. “The rest will be up to fate.”
He nods as I scoot farther under the covers, lying back on my pillow. “Do what you must, and come back to me.”
He drops another kiss on my lips and leaves my bedside to take his position in the chair. Should we reach toward one another, we could probably touch fingertips. Yet, he already feels a million miles away.
Closing my eyes, I still my mind and slip into the half-sleep that will enable me to travel and still retain some control over my destination. I think of my parents—of my mother’s green eyes and my father’s booming voice. I think of Henry and the infectious smile that seemed to light not only his eyes, but the eyes of those around him as well.
I think of them all. I picture their faces in my mind. And then I fall.
I feel sure I will meet them in the fields surrounding Birchwood. It is the only real place to say goodbye.
; This time I walk by the river behind the great stone house. It’s just as I remember it. The house my great-grandfather built peeks through the big oaks. There is nothing dark or sinister about it in this world.
I feel a pang of sadness as I spot the large boulder James and I called ours and try not to wonder if he and Alice now call it theirs. The river gurgles happily nearby, and I realize that all rivers sound different. It doesn’t make sense, really; they should sound the same. Wherever they may be, they are all water running over rock. But this is my river, and it calls to me like a lost friend.
Closing my eyes, I stand on the bank, concentrating on the images of my family in my mind until I hear the sound of boots making their way through the dry leaves on the wooded ground.
I should be prepared. I know they’re coming, for I’ve summoned them with every ounce of my now considerable power, but it still takes me by surprise to turn and see my parents and Henry walking—walking— toward me.
The sadness lasts only a moment, for when he smiles his big Henry smile, I can do nothing but run toward him. I see my parents as well, but it is my brother I long to embrace.
He rushes me with a strength he didn’t have when he was alive, and I realize that I have never seen or felt him strong. He spent his life as a prisoner to his steel chair. He lived and died with it. The tears flow freely down my cheeks as I hold him, knowing that now he is finally free.
“Henry! Oh, Henry!” It is all I can say. I’m overflowing with something that is altogether too much and too powerful to name.
“Lia! I can walk, Lia! Do you see? I can walk?” His voice is just as I remember it, the still-high voice of a child with all the excitement and enthusiasm that were his gifts.
I pull back and look at him. “I do see, Henry. I do. You walk beautifully.”
His grin is as wide as the blue sky above. “Then why are you crying?”