Baird knew she was seeing him too—he could feel her compassion through their mind link when she saw what was being done to him. And he knew then that he had to escape, had to get away from the Fathership or he would never meet her. Never hold her in his arms and claim her as his bride.
He saw himself waiting for the perfect opportunity. Watched as he ripped the wires that were sucking the life out of him from his skin and used them to strangle the guard who had gotten too close. The desperate game of hide and seek he had played with his captors until he was able to steal a ship and fly away, get back to the Kindred ship where Sylvan waited anxiously, wondering if he would ever be able to function again. Few escaped the clutches of the Scourge and if they did, their minds were usually full of holes and broken memories afterwards. Almost none of them was able to resume their place as a fully functioning member of society.
But Baird had been lucky—he’d had Olivia to pull him through. Because of her he had never given up hope. Because of her he had retained his sanity, his strength. And now that he was free, he needed her. Needed her in his arms, in his bed.
He watched as their claiming ceremony played out, saw the entire last week of his life in fast-forward as he pursued his new bride and she resisted and retreated. He relived the feel of her in his arms, the delicious sensation of having her under him, the heat her soft fingers had raised in him as she caressed his shaft and mating fist. And then their fight, his pain when she refused to let him touch her. Olivia, I love you…Need you so much…my life, my mate, my bride…
And suddenly he was back in the sacred grove kneeling before the priestess of the Mother of Life, knowing she had seen it all.
She drew in a deep breath and removed her fingers from his temple. “You have suffered much, Warrior. Why did you not come to the temple for healing after your escape from the Scourge?”
“Because I don’t like this,” Baird said honestly. “The feeling of somebody else inside my head—I had enough of that with those slimy bastards. Not that it’s as bad when you do it, your holiness, but still, a male should have privacy inside his own mind.”
The priestess frowned. “I understand your reluctance, Warrior, but you should know that delving into the mind of another is no more comfortable for me than it is for you. Some of my sisters call it a curse—the ability to see within a male and know his true thoughts and actions. It is why so many of us choose to dedicate ourselves to the Mother of Life instead of finding a mate. Your memories especially are terrible—some of the worst I have ever seen.”
“I’m sorry.” Baird didn’t know what else to say. He’d had no idea that the process was as uncomfortable to the priestess as it had been for him.
“Do not be.” She patted him on the shoulder. “We each act for the will of the Mother. It is she who decides the fate of us all.”
Baird looked at her eagerly. “And can you see my fate? What will happen with my bride—with Olivia?”
The priestess looked grave. “I wish I could tell you that the way before you is smooth, Warrior. But I fear you have some trials ahead of you.”
“Trials? What trials? What am I supposed to do?”
She closed her green-within-green eyes, a frown crossing her face. “I see a choice you will have to make. A terrible sacrifice. And danger—so much danger.” She opened her eyes and they were troubled. “I fear for you.”
Baird felt a shadow pass over his heart. “What do you fear? It’s not danger to Olivia, is it? I don’t care what happens to me as long as she’s safe.”
“There will be danger for both of you, I am afraid.”
“But what can I do? How can I protect her?”
The priestess shook her head. “I wish I could tell you more but this is all the Mother of Life has given me to see. My own advice to you is to follow your heart. It may be that you will have to lose your bride in order to gain her. And I fear you may lose yourself in the process.”
“What does that mean?” Baird asked in frustration. “How am I supposed to follow advice I can’t even understand?”
She shook her head. “You will have to discover the meaning for yourself. I only pray you will be able to do so before it is too late.” Then she turned and glided away, her bare feet making almost no sound on the sacred grass.
Baird was left kneeling, his head filled with more questions than ever. Damn it, this was what he hated about consulting a priestess. Why couldn’t they just spell things out instead of all this mysterious mumbo-jumbo crap? But the worst thing was, it wasn’t just crap and he knew it. The priestesses of the Mother of Life were never wrong. In the very near future he and Olivia were going to be in danger—what kind he didn’t know.
He just hoped he could keep her safe and get them both out of it alive without losing her forever in the process.
Chapter Seventeen
The rest of the week was incredibly tense. Liv and Baird didn’t speak about their fight but things didn’t exactly go back to normal—or what she’d come to think of as normal, anyway. True to his word, Baird refused to let them leave the suite and toward the end of the week Liv was beginning to go stir crazy. It wasn’t just that she minded being confined to a single set of rooms, although that was bad enough. But there was also the growing attraction between herself and the big warrior to contend with and the more time she spent with Baird, the worse it got.
He warned me it would get worse. I can handle this, she told herself. Forewarned is forearmed. But somehow her determination to hold out and resist got hazy whenever she was near him. And it left her completely every night when it was time for the bathing ceremony. Because Baird insisted on following the contract and washing her in the bathing pool every single night despite the fact that she’d made it clear she didn’t want him anywhere near her.
Of course, there was nothing Liv could do about fulfilling the contract she’d signed. But she wished that just once, she could keep her cool and icy demeanor in place while Baird washed and touched her. Unfortunately, that never seemed to happen, no matter how sternly she talked to herself about not giving in to desire. When he put his big, warm hands on her and washed her bare breasts and stroked between her thighs with his fingers she lost her self control every single time. More often than not, she wound up begging him to take her and Liv knew that only the fact that he had promised not to bond her to him during this week kept Baird from doing just that.
Unfortunately, the end of their second week together was over. The first night of their tasting week was tonight and Liv was pretty sure that the minute Baird was legally allowed to go farther with her he absolutely would.
The worst thing was, she had caught herself wondering, more than once, if it would really be so bad to just give in. She could feel the love in Baird’s hands when he touched her, could see the need in his amber eyes when he looked at her. It was hard to remain unmoved when it was obvious that he had genuine emotions for her. And when she had feelings for him too, though she would scarcely allow herself to admit it.
She might have decided to hell with it and just let matters take their course—she was fighting a losing battle, after all, and she knew it. But there was still something that bothered her. She didn’t like the way she lost control when he touched her, the way she couldn’t remain cool and unfeeling when he washed her in the bathing pool. Liv had never been with a man she couldn’t distance herself from if she wanted to.
Mitch had only ever made halfhearted attempts at foreplay and even the main event with him had been lackluster. Liv hadn’t had a problem putting sex on the backburner with her old fiancé—there was literally nothing to get excited about. But with Baird, she found herself helpless not to feel, unable to block out his need for her and hers for him. He was so gentle and so passionate at the same time. She reacted no matter how hard she tried not to, her body betraying her every time.
There has to be something more to it than just all that crap about the right chemistry and our bodies needing each other that Baird is always
talking about, she told herself. There has to be some reason why I can’t say no to him. Why I want him every time he touches me. Why every time he makes me come it doesn’t really satisfy me—it only makes me want him more.
But whatever that something was, she had no idea and she was almost resigned to never finding out. Until Baird told her that he had to leave for a day and a night to attend a conference about the Scourge on the moon.
“I don’t like to leave you like this and I wouldn’t have to if we weren’t still at war.” He sounded apologetic as he got dressed in his uniform, the same tight black pants and deep crimson shirt he’d been wearing when he first claimed her. “I hate like hell to go, especially with things still so up in the air between us.”
Liv was watching him from the bed. “Nothing’s up in the air. You’re determined to keep me and I’m determined to go.”
His face darkened. “You’re not so damn determined when I have you in the bathing pool.”
Liv felt a heated blush creep into her cheeks but she refused to back down. “Be that as it may, what I say or do in the, uh, in the heat of passion doesn’t change how I feel.”
A look that was almost despair crossed over his chiseled features. “Damn it, Olivia, can’t you admit to yourself that you feel for me what I feel for you? Can’t you just try to imagine having a life here with me on the ship?”
“I could…if I didn’t already have a life waiting for me back on Earth.” She sighed. “Look, let’s not fight about this right now. You have to go, fine. I’ll manage okay on my own here.” To be honest she was looking forward to a reprieve from the constant lust she felt while being cooped up with him in close quarters.
He frowned. “I shouldn’t be leavin’ you alone during our claiming period. If I hadn’t had a direct order from my CO—”
“It’s okay, really. I’ll find something to keep me occupied. I’ll try the translator and read one of your books. And I can work the wave well enough to make my own lunch without burning a finger off now.”
“All right, fine.” He looked slightly mollified. “But whatever you do, stay in the suite. Don’t leave for any reason.”
“Yes, sir!” She gave him a mocking salute. “To hear is to obey, oh my lord and master.”
“Lilenta…” He sighed. “This is for your safety. I’m not trying to order you around for the hell of it.”
“No, you just want to make my decisions for me. Stay here, don’t go there. Live the rest of your life on the ship instead of ever seeing your loved ones on Earth again. Why should this be any different?” Liv knew an edge of bitterness had crept into her voice but she couldn’t seem to help it.
Baird scowled. “In time you’ll see that this is best. The only way I can protect you is to keep you close to me.”
“Funny how much being protected feels like being owned.”
“I thought you didn’t want to fight.”
“You started it.” Liv knew it sounded childish but she didn’t care.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Damn it, Olivia…” Then he shook his head, as though sensing the futility of any argument. He pointed a finger at her instead. “I’m going but I’ll be back tonight in time for the start of our tasting week.”
“You…I’m surprised you want to…to do anything at all.” Liv worked hard to keep the tremble out of her voice but didn’t quite succeed.
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean with you trying to pick a fight at every opportunity and generally resisting me every step of the way? I have news for you, Lilenta, none of that affects the way I feel for you—the way I need you—one bit.” He walked over to the bed where she was sitting on the edge and pulled her to her feet. “I still want you more than any other woman I’ve ever seen. Still need to be inside you, bonding you to me, making you mine,” he growled softly, pulling her close.
“Baird, stop it!” She wanted to beat against his broad chest in protest but she somehow found herself melting against him instead.
“Don’t you want to give me a kiss goodbye?” There was a flicker of bitter amusement in his golden eyes. “No, I guess you don’t. Too bad.” Leaning down, he took her lips in a rough yet tender kiss that took Liv’s breath away. She opened her mouth to protest and he invaded her with his tongue, probing gently but firmly, as though it was his right to explore and claim her. As though he owned her already.
Liv moaned in mingled frustration and desire as she found she was kissing back. As always when she was close to him, in contact with him, her senses were flooded with his warm, spicy scent and her determination to resist him seemed to fly out the window. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her pussy getting hot and wet as Baird twined his fingers through her hair and held her close for the long, leisurely time it took him to explore her completely.
At last he broke away, leaving Liv gasping for air and trembling with need.
“What…why…that really…really wasn’t necessary,” she finally managed to gasp.
“Oh, yes it was. I want you to think of that kiss while I’m gone. Because tonight when I come back, that’s exactly how I’m going to taste you.” His eyes were burning now, molten gold, and Liv couldn’t stop a shiver of lust from running through her.
Down there. He’s talking about tasting me down there, between my thighs. She couldn’t bring herself to think of it more graphically than that without blushing. She’d been with a few other guys—none of them as long as Mitch—but a few. And none of them had been very interested in that particular act. With Mitch, especially, it was as though he thought of it as a distasteful chore he had to get out of the way before he could get to the good part of sex. His attitude had given Liv something of a hang-up about the whole thing and to tell the truth, she really preferred not to go there at all. Or let a man go there, as it were.
So going down was out. When Liv had stopped asking for it, Mitch had been more than happy to leave it out of their admittedly limited sexual repertoire. She’d been a little disappointed but a lot less uncomfortable in the bedroom—it seemed like a fair trade and she’d pretty much decided that no guy really wanted to go there, no matter what they said.
But the look in Baird’s eyes told her differently. The burning need she saw in their golden depths said he wanted to taste her—no, needed to taste her. The hunger in his face, the hard bulge against her thigh as he held her close…He wants to do this almost as much as he wants to make love to me, Liv realized watching the emotions play out on his sharp features. But why?
“Because,” Baird answered and she realized she’d spoken aloud. “I want to make you feel good, Lilenta. Want to taste your pleasure on my tongue as I push you over the edge. Want to feel you pulling my hair and scratching my shoulders as I take you higher and make you come harder than you ever have before.”
Liv tried to keep her cool. “And I suppose this is another Kindred ritual? Some kind of ceremony handed down for generations like the bathing thing?”
He flashed her a grin. “Not really. We just love to do it. Hell, I could go down on you for hours—and I will too, as soon as I get back.” He pulled her forward and gave her another searing kiss before looking her in the eyes. “When I get finished with you, Lilenta, every male within a fifty mile radius will know you’re mine.”
“So that’s what it’s about.” Liv felt a small surge of triumph despite the fact that her heart was still pounding with desire from being so close to him. “You just want to scent mark me—that’s all.”
He frowned. “No, that’s not all. It’s just part of it. Mostly I want to bring you pleasure while I taste your sweet juices. Want to see you spread open for me and hear you call my name while I put my tongue deep in your sweet little pussy.”
Liv bit her lip. There was no denying that his words painted a vivid mental image in her head. Her stomach felt like a flock of butterflies had just taken off inside it. But still…
“I…I think you should know it’s not something I like very much,” she said softly, lo
oking down. “I mean it just doesn’t…do much of anything for me.”
“That’s because you’ve never had a male who knew what he was doing between your thighs before,” Baird said confidently.
Liv frowned. “You’re arrogant, aren’t you?”
“No—I just know what I’m doing.” He gave her a half-lidded glance that made her stomach do flip-flops again. “And I know what I’m talking about. We dream-shared for months, remember? I’ve seen your memories of how other males treated you.”
“You saw me with Mitch?” She felt a sudden flare of embarrassment. “That’s an invasion of my privacy.”
He shrugged. “Can’t help it—when two minds align you see what the dreams show you. You think I would’ve wanted to let you see me where I was? Chained in the belly of the Scourge Fathership with wires comin’ out of me? I wasn’t exactly at my best, Lilenta.” He spoke lightly enough but Liv could see the pain in his eyes when he mentioned his own personal season in Hell.
“I felt sorry for you,” she said softly. “I wanted…wished I could help you in some way. Heal you.”
Baird cupped her cheek gently. “And you did. You were my lifeline when I was down in that pit.”
“I’m glad.” Liv frowned. “But I still don’t like the idea of you watching what Mitch and I did.”
“Or didn’t do.” He gave her a level glance. “I saw how he treated you, Lilenta. He didn’t worship you properly with his body or with his tongue. A male who really knows what he’s doing and who wants to pleasure you will spend hours between your thighs, making you come over and over as he drinks your sweet juices. That’s exactly what I want to do to you.”
Liv felt the familiar wire of sexual tension tightening in her belly and had to look away. “I…it just makes me feel…uncomfortable.”