He’d spent every night in her bed for the past two weeks, but she knew she was living on borrowed time. Tamara knew who she was. All it would take was one visit from the woman and Connor would know the truth too.
Hudson had to tell him herself. She’d already decided to, the night he’d told her about his wife’s death, but every time she thought she’d worked up the courage, the words refused to leave her mouth and —
Oh fuck, that felt good. His mouth was on her nipple. Hot suction and the slightest scrape of teeth, rough enough to bring a sting of pain, but he soothed it rapidly with his tongue, a long lick that distracted her from her thoughts and summoned a happy little sigh.
His chuckle warmed her nipple. “Was wondering when you’d wake up.”
The cabin was bathed in darkness, so all she could see was his head between her breasts. “How long have you been at it?” she teased.
“Playing with your tits? A couple minutes.”
“Pervert.”
It was too dark to see his face, but she felt him smiling, the curve of his mouth tickling her breast. “You love it.”
She certainly did.
She loved it even more when his hand traveled toward her stomach, circling her belly button before stroking a path down to her pussy. Rough fingertips grazed her clit in a sweet caress that made her suck in a breath.
“My favorite sound in the world,” he told her.
“What is?”
“That breathy little noise you make when I do this.” He rubbed her clit with the pad of his thumb, and sure enough, a breathy whimper was his reward.
Connor’s lips traveled to her neck, planting slow, torturous kisses in time to the slow torturous strokes of his thumb on her clit. His erection was heavy against her hip, and he moved in a slow grind, branding her skin with the hot evidence of his arousal.
She never knew what to expect from him. Whether it would be hard and fast. Filthy and demanding. Languid and teasing. But one factor remained unchanged – the hunger. He was always as hungry for her as she was for him. It didn’t matter if Rylan was there. It didn’t matter if they were alone, or being watched by every person in Lennox’s playroom. Connor could fuck her in front of five hundred people and he’d still be the only one she’d see. Just him, with his rough voice and his wicked touch, and the way he looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met.
She grasped his chin as his lips teased her jaw, tugging his head up and molding their lips together, and the only thought in her mind was perfection. Their mouths, their bodies, everything. They fit so perfectly that emotion clogged her chest and her hands became frantic, reaching for his cock to guide him between her legs.
“Hold on, baby. We need —” He let out a husky groan as she stroked his erection. “Condom,” he choked out.
He leaned over her and fumbled for the night table, and then he was back where she wanted him, the blunt head of his cock nudging her opening.
She was so wet and ready for him that his entire length slid inside her with ease. Filling her, stretching her, and the sense of completion that washed over her extended far past the delicious way his body completed hers. He completed her. He was intense and fierce and beautiful, and there was no one else she wanted to be in this bed with. No, in this world with.
“Don’t hold back,” she murmured when he tried to go slow. “I need… all of you. I need to feel every inch of you.”
Her hips moved in a frantic upward thrust, and he hissed in surprise before quickening the pace.
“Harder,” she begged.
“Jesus.” His features went taut. “No, I’m going to hurt you.”
The same words she’d thrown at him on the side of the road. You’re going to hurt me. But he wouldn’t, not anymore, not now that she knew what he’d gone through, what had shaped him into the man he was. He wasn’t heartless. He was just a little bit damaged. But he was hers, damn it.
“More, Connor. I need you.”
Groaning, he rose to his knees as he set a hard, relentless rhythm that had his cock slamming into her without mercy. She felt each deep stroke between her legs, in her fingers and toes and the tips of her breasts. When she came, it was in an explosion of white-hot pleasure that blinded her, seared her from head to toe. Her entire world was reduced to Connor, and the heat in his eyes, and the way he groaned her name as he sagged on top of her and shuddered in climax.
“Christ.” He was breathing as hard as she was, his sweat-slickened chest plastered to hers as they both recovered.
Watching him dispose of the condom stole the lingering pleasure from her body and replaced it with prickly unease, because it reminded her of the birth control she’d requested before Tamara had stolen the one piece of insurance Hudson had counted on for her survival – that nobody but her knew who she really was.
Not many people have ever actually seen Dominik…
Tamara’s words suddenly came to mind, solidifying the idea Hudson had been toying with for days now. What if the man Connor had seen leaving his camp hadn’t been Dominik? That would mean Dominik hadn’t been responsible for his wife’s death. It would mean that she could tell Connor who she was, and he might not hate her.
But she wasn’t ready to tell him yet. She wasn’t ready to lose this – his heavy body against hers, his lips trailing kisses on her neck as he came back to bed and settled beside her.
She rested her head on his chest, the even beating of his heart tickling her ear. “Was it like this with your wife?”
The question popped out before she could stop it, and Connor instantly tensed, his pectoral muscles tightening beneath her cheek. His chest rose on an inhale, then fell as the air seeped out of his lungs. “What do you mean?”
“The way it is with us.” She paused, struggling to put it into words. “Intense. Frantic. It’s like… I can never get enough of you.”
Connor was silent for a moment. “No,” he admitted. “It wasn’t like this.”
“What was it like, then?”
“Different.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s very diplomatic of you. You can say better, if that’s what it was.” But the notion stabbed her heart.
“That’s what it was, though – different.” There was another beat, long and strained. “She didn’t like this side of me.”
Hudson frowned and rose onto her elbow. She could barely see his face in the darkness and it bothered her, so she hastily reached for the lighter on the bed table and lit the candle beside it. The yellow glow that filled the room emphasized Connor’s pained expression.
“What side?”
“When I was rough in bed.” He rested an arm over his forehead, not quite shielding his face from view, but casting a shadow over it, making it hard to read his expression. “Or when I was too intense. It scared her, I think.”
Hudson’s frown deepened. “But that’s who you are. You’re intense.”
His answering chuckle sounded sad. “I guess she didn’t like who I was, then.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I think she loved you.”
He nodded. “Yeah. She loved me.” His arm dropped to the mattress, long fingers tightening in the sheets. “But she didn’t know me, not completely, anyway. I learned pretty fast to hide certain parts of myself from her. I wanted her to be happy, and… well, that part of me didn’t make her happy.”
The admission drove slivers of displeasure into Hudson’s skin. Connor’s dominance, his intensity, his roughness… they were an important part of who he was. It was the reason he’d survived this long in such a primitive, unforgiving land. How could his own wife not understand that?
“You must have really loved her, if you were willing to change who you are,” Hudson whispered.
His voice shook slightly. “Maggie was… she was like a beacon of light in the midst of so much darkness. I’ve never met anyone who smiled so much. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I wanted it. I wanted to feel that light touch in my li
fe and find out how she did it – how she lived without fear.” Connor’s tone sharpened at the edges. “But that’s not possible, not in this world. It took me a year with Maggie before I realized what was really going on. It wasn’t that she’d found a way to bring light to the darkness – she genuinely didn’t recognize that the darkness was there. She was living in a fantasy.”
The notion made Hudson sad. “So are most of the people in the city.”
“Yeah, but at least they’re safe in the city, as long as they follow the GC’s rules. Out here you can’t afford to be that naive.”
“How long were you married?”
“Three years.” He tugged on her arm. “C’mere. I don’t like how far away you are.”
They were only a foot apart, but she humored him by nestling close to his side again. His fingers immediately slid through her hair, stroking it gently, and she couldn’t deny she liked this sweet, relaxed part of their relationship as much as she liked the raw passion of it.
Something had shifted between them since the night they’d driven back from Lennox’s. Connor was still as gruff and controlled as he’d always been, but he was also more tender. He laughed more. And he’d even warmed up to Hudson’s wolf. He no longer frowned when Hope scurried at his feet, and he never complained when the wolf pup slept at the foot of the bed on the nights that Hudson stole her away from Pike.
“Why didn’t you guys stay on the farm?”
“Hmmm?” he said absently, toying with her hair.
“You said that Maggie’s father raised her and her sisters on a farm, right?”
“Yeah. I came across it after my mother died. I split from my other group, handed leadership over to one of the other men, and hit the open road. That’s where I met Maggie.”
“So why didn’t you stay there?”
He sighed. “Because it burned down.”
“Oh shit. How?”
“Maggie’s father had a heart attack. We were asleep upstairs and didn’t hear him get up, but I guess he woke up in pain and went downstairs. He lit a candle, and then he must have dropped it when he passed out. The fire spread to the drapes and it all went to shit from there. The smoke woke me up, and I got Maggie and her sisters out of there. Found Darren downstairs and hauled him out too, but he died on the front lawn while we watched the house burn.”
As an ache shuddered through her heart, Hudson reached for Connor’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I think that’s why Maggie was so insistent on staying in that last camp. The house reminded her of the one she’d grown up in. It reminded her of home.” His chest rose sharply again. “And, well, you know the rest. I made the wrong call, and my people paid the price for it.”
Trepidation scurried up her spine, but she forced herself to continue on the course she hadn’t even realized she’d set. “Connor… I have to ask you something.”
He gave her hair a gentle tug, tilting her head so he could see her eyes. “What is it?”
“The day that Maggie died… You said you saw Dominik leaving your camp and talking to his men.”
“Yeah…” Wariness creased his forehead.
She took a breath. “What did he look like?”
“Why are you asking me this?”
“Please. Just humor me and tell me what he looked like. Hair color, eye color, all the details you can remember.”
Connor sat up and rubbed his jaw, looking unsettled by the request. “Dark hair,” he muttered. “In a buzz cut. Dark eyes, more black than brown.”
Her heart sped up. “Any facial hair?”
“Goatee, but it was more scruffy than groomed. Why?”
A sick feeling crawled up to her throat. “What else? Was he tall? Short?”
“Average height, I guess. Definitely shorter than me, but taller than you. Stocky build, barrel chest…” Looking suspicious, he repeated himself. “Why?”
“Because…” She exhaled slowly. “I don’t think the man you saw was Dominik.”
“Bullshit. It was him.”
She shook her head. “Dominik has blond hair and light eyes. And he’s tall, even taller than you. Six foot five.”
Connor was stricken for a moment before responding with the firm shake of his head. “It was him, Hudson.”
“Did his men call him Dominik?”
“Well… no,” he admitted with a frown. “They called him ‘boss.’ And ‘sir.’”
“But nobody ever called him by his name?”
“Where are you going with this?”
“The man you described…” She choked down her nausea. “That’s Knox.”
Connor’s alarmed gaze flew to hers.
“You described Knox, Con. The hair, the eyes, the goatee. And he’s Dominik’s second-in-command – the men always address him as ‘sir’ in the field.” Hudson’s heart continued to race. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the relief in confirming that her brother hadn’t killed Connor’s wife, or the rage of knowing that Knox had.
“No,” Connor said stiffly. “You’re wrong.”
“I’ve seen Dominik. I know what he looks like, and that’s not it. I’ve also seen Knox, and trust me, that is it.” She met his mistrustful gaze. “This means… you’ve been after the wrong man.”
The accusation turned his features to stone. “No. It just means I need to add another man’s name to that list. Because even if Knox is the one who pulled the trigger, who the fuck do you think gave the orders, Hudson?”
Panic shot through her. “Knox could have acted on his own.”
“Jesus. When did you become naive? Knox acts under Dominik’s orders. Dominik sent him out into the colony to hunt outlaws.” Connor jumped off the bed and strode naked to the chair where he’d left his pants. He dug in the pockets until he found what he was looking for – a pack of cigarettes, which he almost crushed in his hand as he stalked to the door. “I need a smoke.”
Hudson bit her lip. “Do you want me to come out with you?”
“No,” he muttered. “I need to be alone for a minute.”
The door shut behind him, not quite a slam, but loud enough to make her jump, to bring a rush of helplessness to her chest and a chill to her bones.
She’d hoped that learning Knox was to blame for Maggie’s death might lessen some of Connor’s hatred for Dominik. That it might make it easier for her to tell him the truth.
But apparently that was hoping for too much.
By the time morning came, Connor was feeling centered again. The bomb Hudson had dropped on him had messed with his head and kept him up most of the night, analyzing and second-guessing every move he’d made these past two years. Raiding as many storage stations as he could in the hopes that Dominik might be there. Hitting up anyone he crossed paths with for information. He’d even swallowed his pride and asked Tamara for the location of the Enforcer compound – only to discover it was the one thing on the planet the bitch didn’t know.
All that time wasted, hunting Dominik, searching for a man who hadn’t even pulled that trigger. It was a disheartening notion… until he reminded himself that it didn’t matter who’d pulled the trigger. Dominik was still every much to blame for Maggie’s death as his lieutenant was. The council issued orders, and Dominik enforced them. He’d known damn well what he was asking of Knox.
Still, it was with a new sense of purpose that Connor walked to the lodge that morning. He wanted to check if Xan had made any progress with the communication program, but just as he reached the door, Xander burst out of it.
The other man halted. “Shit. I was coming to find you.”
Connor instantly went on the alert. “What’s wrong?”
“Lennox called on the sat phone. He was paying a visit to Foxworth and came across an Enforcer on his way back. A deserter.” Xander shrugged. “I guess Hudson was right – there really are deserters in the Enforcer camp.”
“Please tell me Lennox captured the bastard.”
Xander’s lips twitched. “Damn right he did.??
?
Connor didn’t believe in a higher power, but… fuck. He’d just renewed his mission to find the men who’d murdered his wife, and suddenly an Enforcer deserter was handed to him on a silver platter? If that wasn’t a sign from God, he didn’t know what was.
“Lennox took the deserter to the abandoned mill near the river,” Xander told him. “He called to see if you wanted to interrogate the kid.”
If Lennox had been standing in front of him right now, Connor would have kissed him square on the mouth. “Call him back and tell him I’m on my way.”