“I like being outside,” Claire whispered back. “It’s less suffocating.” She turned away from Sam and checked out Scotty. He had his traditional mushy-about-Thea look. The very sight of him made Claire smile. With Thea around, this was definitely a Christmas to make things interesting.
CHAPTER TWO
“I wish Sam would get here,” Evvie grumbled as she stared out the window of the apartment she shared with Sam.
“Relax,” Thea said. “He’ll be here on time.”
“I know,” Evvie said. “But he’s going to forget to buy the bread. I keep telling him to make a list and take it with him, but he claims he doesn’t need to, that he can remember what has to be bought. And then he always forgets.”
Claire laughed. “You sound like an old married couple,” she said.
“Nicky and Megs don’t sound that way,” Thea declared.
“They don’t have to,” Claire replied. “There’s not enough grocery money for either of them to forget.”
“How bad are things?” Evvie asked. “I always get the feeling Megs is telling me half-truths, and Nicky, well, he isn’t even that close.”
“Nicky and Megs don’t lie,” Thea said. “They just don’t want us to worry.”
“They lie,” Evvie said. “Claire, what’s it like, really?”
Claire shrugged. “It’s okay,” she said. “We’re not starving.”
“I didn’t think you were,” Evvie replied. “But I’d still like to know just how things are.”
Claire thought about it. Her family had had times when they were very rich, mostly when Claire was too young to appreciate it. They’d had times when they were one step away from disaster, with last-minute moves from state to state. They’d had times when Nicky’s deals were just starting to go through, and everything was full of promise, and they’d had times when Nicky’s deals fell through and everything was full of despair. From birth to age fourteen, Claire figured, she’d survived every financial situation imaginable. But the past two years were beyond any nightmare she could have imagined.
“Look,” she said. “Things are bad. You know that. You’ve seen the place we’re living in now. You saw what we had for Thanksgiving dinner. The money Clark and Aunt Grace send me for Christmas and my birthday goes to clothes, because otherwise I wouldn’t get anything new. I like clothes. I miss buying new shoes. I don’t remember the last time Megs got anything for herself, and even Nicky’s looking a little ratty. But it’s okay. It’s for Sybil.”
“That doesn’t sound like you,” Thea said. “Why aren’t you complaining, or blaming Nicky?”
“There’s no point in complaining,” Claire replied. “Besides, I don’t intend to be poor a minute longer than I have to. And sure, some of it is Nicky’s fault. He keeps pushing Sybil, moving us around the country, going from rehab center to rehab center, trying to find the one with the miracle cures. If he’d just pick one, so we could settle down, he might start making deals again, and maybe all of this would end. But none of them is good enough for him, so he keeps on hunting. Sybil hates it, but he’s doing it because he loves her. Even I know that. Sybil’s always been his favorite, and he wants her walking again, no crutches, no canes, no limps. So does Megs. So do I. So does Sybil. And maybe one of the places will be the miracle place, and it’ll all be worth it. What do you care? You have your scholarship, you have your life. What difference does it make to you?”
“I care because I love Sybil,” Thea said. “And Nicky and Megs, and I worry about them.”
“We worry about you, too, Claire,” Evvie said. “I know how bad it is for you to be stuck there. I know how obsessed Nicky can get. I wish I were older. I wish I were through with school, so I could do something more to help.”
“It’s okay,” Claire said, already regretting having told them so much. It didn’t matter with Thea, who never understood, anyway. But Evvie had a way of seeing through her, a way of caring about her, that Claire wasn’t especially comfortable with. The way Sam had connected the night before. They couldn’t do anything to improve matters, so who cared what they felt. “Actually, it’s better than that. Sybil is getting stronger, and Nicky and Megs have less time to make gaga eyes at each other. You know, Megs is almost bearable nowadays. We all take turns doing the physical therapy with Sybil, and Megs is the best at it. I like her for that.” She felt again as though she had revealed too much, but she didn’t know what else to say. Evvie and Thea were Sybil’s sisters, too, after all, and they loved her and worried about her almost as much as Claire did.
“I wish I had the money for another visit,” Evvie said. “I wanted to go while Sam’s visiting his grandparents, but I couldn’t take the time off from work. And who can afford the airfare to Oregon. So I’ll be stuck here, while Sam’s on Long Island. I can’t tell you how much I’m going to miss him.”
“Why don’t you go to Long Island with him?” Thea asked. “At least for the weekend.”
“No thank you,” Evvie said. “Sam isn’t looking forward to going home, either. The Greenes have never been crazy about me, and things have gotten worse since I began the conversion lessons.”
“I’d think that would make things better,” Thea said. “Do you want me to start cutting up the vegetables for salad?”
“Yes, please,” Evvie replied. “If the Greenes were sane, that might improve things. But they’re so protective of Sam, worse than Nicky is with Sybil, if you can believe it. They kept hoping we weren’t really serious, that it was just puppy love. We’ve been together for four years, and they still keep hoping we don’t mean it. But with me converting, it makes things official. I become Jewish, we get engaged, and then the minute I graduate, we get married. Sam wants us to get married this year, after he graduates, and I’d like to, too, but his grandparents are insisting we wait until I have my degree. They worry that I’m just with Sam for his money, that he’ll be stuck with my debts the minute we get married. And they’re also hoping that he won’t be able to get a job in Boston, so we’ll have to spend next year apart. I know it’s nothing like what Nicky and Megs went through, but sometimes I just want to scream. Only I can’t. It isn’t like Sam has any other family. They’re what he’s stuck with and Nicky and Megs are what I’m stuck with, and in a minute I’ll start crying, and I just know he won’t remember to buy the bread.”
“So we’ll bake some,” Thea said. “You know, the way Megs always seems to bake a loaf just when you really want one.”
“She doesn’t anymore,” Claire said. “She baked for Thanksgiving, but that’s been it. We buy day-old at the supermarket. She says it’s cheaper.”
“Now I really am going to cry,” Evvie declared. “Merry Christmas, everybody.”
“Claire’s exaggerating,” Thea said. “Aren’t you, Claire? You know how Claire loves to complain.”
“I’m not exaggerating and I’m not complaining,” Claire replied. If Thea hadn’t been armed with a vegetable knife, Claire might have gone after her. “I don’t mind store-bought bread. I never understood why Megs went around baking all the time. All I’m saying is between tutoring Sybil, and doing her exercises, and living off the trust fund checks, we buy day-old bread. Big deal. Do you want me to set the table?”
“Please,” Evvie said. “Don’t forget a setting for Scotty.”
“I won’t,” Claire said. It had been her idea to invite Scotty over for supper. She still had to decide whether to sit next to him, so they could talk more easily, or across the table from him, so he’d have to look at her. Next to him, she thought. He already knew what she looked like. It was about time he got to know her.
Of course Thea would probably sit on his other side, and Scotty, fool that he was, would want to talk with her. But knowing Thea, all she’d talk about was Kip and his problems. Not a topic Scotty would want to discuss over dinner or anywhere else.
“I hope spaghetti with meat sauce isn’t too much of a cliché,” Evvie said, stirring the pot. “It’s the only thing I know how
to cook, and with Sam out all day, working on the school paper, I figured I’d better make something safe.”
“It’s a feast,” Thea said. “Sometimes I go to Kip’s apartment and make it for him and his roommates.”
“How many roommates does he have?” Evvie asked.
“There are four altogether,” Thea said, “sharing three rooms in a neighborhood that Nicky would kill me for walking in. But sometimes I think if I don’t take care of Kip, he won’t take care of himself.”
“He isn’t drinking that heavily, is he?” Evvie asked.
“No,” Thea said. “He just gets involved with his art, and school, and his job. He doesn’t have time for anything else. He doesn’t have time for me, either, or so he keeps telling me, but I don’t mind. I’d rather grab a few minutes with him than worry about how he is all the time.”
Evvie rolled her eyes, and Claire tried not to laugh.
“I know,” Thea said. “You think I’m crazy. But Kip needs me. At least, he needs someone, and I’m the one who’s there.”
“You should be dating other boys,” Evvie said.
“You’re a fine one to talk,” Thea replied. “You met Sam and ten seconds later, you were engaged.”
“Twenty seconds,” Evvie said. “The first ten seconds, I was checking Schyler out.”
“I’d like to meet Schyler someday,” Claire said. “Does he look anything like Scotty?”
“Not really,” Evvie said. “About as much as you and I look alike. You know, that vague family resemblance you can’t really explain. Schyler has more your kind of look, Claire. Dark coloring, high cheekbones. He’s much handsomer than Scotty.”
“Handsomer than Sam?” Claire asked.
“Infinitely,” Evvie replied. “As I frequently remind Sam.”
“I think it’s terrible the way you tease him,” Thea said. “I never tease Kip. And Megs never teases Nicky. And don’t say she does now, Claire, because we’ll know you’re lying.”
“I wasn’t going to say a thing,” Claire said.
“You are sniping a lot, Thea,” Evvie said. “Any particular reason?”
“I’m just worried,” Thea said. “About Nicky and Megs and Sybil out there in Oregon. And about Kip. I never should have left him alone yesterday.”
“It sounds like he wanted to be alone,” Claire said.
“Oh shut up, Claire,” Thea said. “What do you know about things, anyway?”
“I know enough not to waste my time with cold, hostile rejecting drunks,” Claire replied. “Or with cold, hostile rejecting sisters.”
“Stop it, both of you,” Evvie said. “I wish Sam would show up.”
“Sam isn’t the answer to everything,” Thea said.
“No, but without him there’s no garlic bread,” Evvie replied.
Claire laughed, and as she did, the buzzer sounded. “I’ll get it,” she said, and ran to the door to buzz Scotty in.
She could hear his footsteps, and then a second pair raced to join him. Scotty and Sam ended up coming through the living room door together.
“Sam,” Evvie said. “Did you remember the bread?”
“No, dammit, I didn’t,” Sam admitted. “I thought you were going to call to remind me.”
“You said you wouldn’t need reminding,” Evvie said. “Honestly, Sam, you do this all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Look, I’ll go around the corner and get a loaf.”
“Don’t bother,” Claire said. “I could use the air. Come with me, Scotty. I’ll get my coat right now.”
“All right,” Scotty said. “Where’s Thea?”
“In the kitchen, moping about Kip,” Claire said. “You’re better off with me.”
“Claire,” Evvie said, but then she grinned. “Who knows, maybe you’re right. Get a loaf of Italian bread, and maybe you should buy some butter as well.”
“Fine,” Claire said. She put her coat on, and slipped her arm through Scotty’s. “We’ll be back in a minute.”
“Maybe two,” Scotty said. He smiled at Claire, which she decided was a good sign, and the two of them left the apartment.
“I had to escape,” Claire told him, as they walked outside. “Thea was going on and on about Kip. You know how she does.”
“Believe me, I know,” Scotty said. “I can’t figure out what she sees in him.”
Claire couldn’t figure out what Scotty saw in Thea, but knew better than to ask. “How long will you be staying with Clark?” she asked instead.
“Until Wednesday,” Scotty said. “My parents and Schyler will both be arriving then, and we’ll spend the long weekend together, before Schyler and I have to go back to school.”
“That must be so strange,” Claire said. “Seeing as little of your parents as you do.”
“I’m used to it,” Scotty said. “Dad’s always traveled on business, and Mom likes to go with him. I started boarding school when I was nine, the same as Schyler. Same school for that matter, so he was around, if I really needed someone.”
“Are you close?” Claire asked.
“Not especially,” Scotty said. “I’ve never been really close to anybody until I started college. Now I have friends. As a matter of fact, one of them called me today. She’s home from school, and she’s having a terrible time with her parents, so she called me at Clark’s, sobbing and moaning. I even gave her Evvie’s number, in case she has to talk to me tonight.”
“That’s really nice of you,” Claire said. “I wish I had a friend like that.”
“You have your sisters,” Scotty said. “You always know you can turn to them.”
“But friends are good, too,” Claire replied. “When I was younger, we lived in the same towns sometimes for more than a year and then I’d make friends. I’d lose them as soon as we left, but at least for a while I’d have some. But since Sybil’s accident, we haven’t stayed anywhere very long, and all my spare time goes to Sybil, anyway. I miss having friends, the way you must miss having your family around.”
“I’m your friend,” Scotty said. “You can count on me, Claire.”
“Thank you,” Claire said. “Oh, here’s the grocery.” She led Scotty in, and soon they’d purchased the bread and butter. Scotty insisted on paying for them, and Claire didn’t protest. False pride was not an issue.
“You’re different from Thea,” Scotty said as they left the store.
“I know,” Claire replied. “I’m the bad sister.”
“I don’t think that at all,” Scotty said. “On the contrary. Thea’s always thinking about herself, her world. It’s always her sisters, her parents, her relationship with Kip. I think I told you more about me in the past five minutes than I’ve told Thea in two full years.”
“Thea has no idea how special you are,” Claire said. At best, if they walked very slowly, they’d be back at the apartment within three minutes. She wondered if she should fake twisting her ankle, but decided against it. Not subtle enough. Scotty would be sure to see through it.
“You’re so beautiful,” Scotty said. “I told Thea once I thought you were too beautiful, the way Schyler is. He’s full of himself because of his looks, but you’re not that way at all. You don’t put on airs or force people to admire you. Of course, neither does Thea, and she’s very pretty. But you’re something special. How old are you now, Claire?”
“Sixteen,” Claire said. “Going on twenty-nine.”
“I’ll bet,” Scotty said. “You must have a lot of guys chasing after you.”
“I don’t want them,” Claire said. “I don’t want a man who can’t see past my looks. I want someone who really knows me, and understands me, and cares about me. You must feel that way sometimes, Scotty. You have such a wonderful facade, money and sophistication. But underneath, you’re sweet and caring, and I think you’re lonely too.”
“And cold,” Scotty said. “Very cold.”
“I’m sorry,” Claire said. “I must sound awfully silly. It’s just, it drives me cr
azy the way Thea treats you. She’s a fool not to see you for who you are.”
“And I’m a fool for sticking with her?” Scotty asked.
Claire had the feeling she was the fool for trying to accomplish so much in a block and a half. Time and distance were definitely winning over beauty and ambition.
“No,” she said. “You’re very sweet and dear.” It seemed to her she’d heard Katharine Hepburn say that in a movie once. If it worked on Cary Grant, it might work on Scotty Hughes.
It did. “Claire,” he murmured, and she found herself being kissed by him under the streetlight that illuminated Sam’s building. Another thirty seconds and she would have lost.
“Oh, Scotty,” she said. “Scotty, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he said, breaking away. “Sorry for what?”
“I never meant …” Claire said. “I mean, I know how you feel about Thea. I never wanted …”
“We both know how Thea feels about me,” Scotty said. “Maybe it’s about time she learned she doesn’t own me.”
“Oh, no,” Claire said. “Scotty, I won’t be a pawn in some game you’re playing. And I refuse to hurt Thea. She’s the one you love, not me.” That should throw him, she thought contentedly.
“You can’t love someone forever who doesn’t love you back,” Scotty declared.
“Thea can,” Claire said. “She loves Kip that way.”
“Then she’s the fool,” Scotty said. “But I’m not. Claire, I never meant to hurt you. I kissed you because you’re beautiful under the night sky. And besides, I thought I saw some mistletoe hanging from that lamppost.” He pointed up at it, and when Claire looked up as well, he kissed her again.
Two points for Scotty! Claire thought. “Oh, Scotty, I’m half in love with you, you know,” she whispered.
“Only half?” he asked.
“That’s all I ever dared be,” Claire replied. “I guess I’m just a coward.”
“That’s all right,” Scotty said. “Because it took all my courage to kiss you.”