I looked around us at the Circle, still filled with Mr. Williams’s loyal followers, each white-haired descendant just as bent on killing anyone who stood in their way as their leader had been. Mr. Williams had created this scene of destruction and death with his hatred and desperate need for power. How many lives had he hurt or ended indirectly by starting this war?
I wasn’t the only one who deserved the right to end Mr. Williams’s life. We’d all lost because of him. Was any one of our losses greater or more valuable than another’s?
“You monster!” Mr. Williams snarled, his voice stronger now that my hand had relaxed slightly at his throat. “You can’t even manage to do this right, can you? This is why the Colemans never deserved to lead. You don’t have the guts to do what has to be done.”
Be still, I thought, pushing out the willpower with it, staring at him until the spell hit him and he froze.
“You’re right, Mr. Williams. I am a Coleman. And I may be a vampire, too. But that doesn’t make me a monster.” I stared down at the worthless waste of a life now lying helpless at my feet, hearing again everything Savannah had tried so hard to tell me, and finally, truly understanding. “What makes us monsters are the choices we make. And that makes you the monster, not me. I’m a Coleman, and there’s a reason my family’s led this Clann for four generations. We’re not more powerful than you. We’re just better people because we have the guts to make the right choices, even if they’re not the easy ones. Killing you right now would be easy, and it might feel good for a while. But it would also be something you would do, because you’re so messed up by hatred and fear that you can’t even think or see straight anymore. I choose not to let hatred and fear twist me into something I’m not. I’m not going to kill you and let you turn me into someone like you.”
“Tristan, he deserves to die,” Mac said. At some point he’d found his way across the clearing to join us. “For my parents. For yours. For everyone he’s hurt.”
“Yeah, he does deserve to die.” I stood up. “But not at my hands, or Dylan’s, or even yours. Everyone in the Clann has been hurt by his hatred. Everyone has equal right to decide his punishment.”
I looked around at the Circle. There were a few of Mr. Williams’s diehard loyalists gathered at the base of a large pine at the edge of the clearing trying to fight their way out. But the descendants and Keepers surrounding them looked equally determined not to allow their freedom. Speaking of people who could handle themselves…
I looked around for Savannah, shocked to realize I hadn’t been worried about her at all for a change. After everything she’d been through without me around to protect her, apparently I’d learned to trust her skills. She was every bit as strong and smart and fast as me, maybe even smarter since she’d figured out the whole slippery slope of choice thing way before I did. Knowing her, she’d probably taken out half the loyalists here plus already freed her friends and— “Tristan, look out!” Dylan shouted from behind me.
I turned in time to see Mr. Williams sit up and thrust his hands, palms-out, in my direction…and a huge red orb burst out of Mac’s hands. The orb slammed into Mr. Williams’s chest, knocking him back to the ground so hard his body actually bounced twice.
“He was going to kill you!” Mac whispered, his eyes round with horror as he stared at Mr. Williams. “His mind was wide-open. He didn’t even care if I heard him think it.”
I checked Mr. Williams’s mind. But this time there was no invisible wall shielding his thoughts from the world around him. There was no thought at all, in fact.
He was dead.
Just to be sure, I checked his neck for a pulse. Nothing, not even a faint stutter out of rhythm.
I stood up, walked over to Mac and stared at him. When we’d found him earlier tonight, I’d thought of him as a kid. But I was wrong. It wasn’t our age that determined whether we were kids or adults. It was what each of us went through, the terrors and trials we faced and survived, that made us grow up slower or, in Mac’s and my cases, faster.
And Mac had definitely become a man tonight. A man who had just saved my life.
I held out my hand.
He glanced at it with a frown, not understanding at first. Finally his eyes widened and he reached out to shake it.
“Thanks, Griffin,” I said. “Thanks for having my back.”
He nodded.
Then I heard Savannah’s scream.
A blur of red hair caught my eye. Then Savannah reappeared hunched over a body on the ground.
Her mother.
Cursing, I ran to her, kneeling at her side.
“Mom!” she kept crying out over and over, cradling her mother’s head, rocking back and forth. Her face was dry, her eyes wild and round but slate-gray, her fangs nowhere to be seen.
A memory of seeing her like this before, with her Nanna, hit me hard enough to knock me to my knees. I reached past her, trying to find her mother’s pulse. Nothing. I reached out with my mind, blocking out the world around us, seeking her mother’s thoughts. Though I’d never had trouble hearing Ms. Evans’s every thought before, this time I couldn’t hear her at all.
Mr. Colbert appeared at the edge of the clearing, maybe having heard his daughter’s scream. He saw us gathered on the ground, blurred over, then froze before crumpling to his knees at his ex-wife’s other side, grabbing her arm and gently tapping her cheek. “Joan, honey. Do not do this to me. Joan!”
The scent of blood hit me hard and fast, swamping my nose as Savannah ripped into her own wrist with her teeth then thrust that wrist against her mother’s mouth. “Come on, Mom. You’ve got to drink.”
But the blood only spilled out of the corners of Ms. Evans’s mouth.
“It’s too late,” I whispered.
“No!” Savannah pressed her palms to the ground.
I grabbed one wrist. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to over-ground so I can cross to the other side and bring her back.”
“Are you insane?” I stared at her, hoping to see some hint of reality return to Savannah’s eyes.
“I know what I’m doing. I’ve crossed over before and come back.”
“You’re talking about killing yourself!” I wouldn’t let her do it. I didn’t care how much it hurt her to lose her mother. I couldn’t let her do this.
“I’ll be fine. Let me go.”
“No.” I looked at Mr. Colbert, hoping he’d supply some backup against his daughter and help me make her see reason. But he only sobbed and rocked his dead ex-wife, his mind shut down to anything beyond the breaking of his heart.
“You’ve got to let her go,” I told Savannah.
She jerked her wrist free. “I’m doing this, Tristan. Whether you like it or not.”
I stared at her, thinking fast. Short of knocking her out, I had no idea how to stop her, magical or otherwise. “I can’t stop you, can I?”
She shook her head, her mouth a thin line. “Just hold me till I get back.” She pressed her palms to the ground, hesitated, then reached up with one hand and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me to her for a fierce kiss that ended too soon. “I will come back to you. I promise.”
Her hand dropped to press against the ground one more time. Then she closed her eyes and a shock wave of energy burst out of her and into the ground so hard it actually rolled the earth in a wave that rippled out to knock everyone still standing off their feet.
The life f led out of Savannah, and her empty shell of a body began to fall.
I caught her, letting her weight take us both to the ground, where I sat and held her against me, making sure her palms kept touching the ground so she could draw enough energy to come back.
And then I prayed like I never had before to a God I wasn’t even sure still heard vamps.
CHAPTER 31
SAVANNAH
The sounds of descendants and Keepers battling Mr. Williams’s loyalists faded away, only to be replaced by the voices of two angry women deep into an argument.
My soul rose out of the shell of my body, the two parts that made me who I was staying tethered by a thin silver cord that stretched between my soul’s navel and my body’s. Here in the between world, the Circle was peaceful and quiet, the sounds of all the living muff led as if heard underwater.
I looked around and spotted my mother’s soul hovering several yards away from her body, the silver cord that connected them thinned out almost to the point of breaking.
The only thing apparently stopping her from continuing on to the other side was Nanna’s spirit, who had gotten right into her daughter’s soul’s face and was jabbing a finger at her. Mom’s soul f linched every time the tip of Nanna’s finger poked through her.
“Mom!” I cried out as I pushed my soul to f loat over to them. Since my soul had no real physical presence, my feet had nothing to make contact with in order to make walking effective. It must have been the will that counted toward actually moving around.
“I am trying to talk some sense into my daughter,” Nanna hissed.
“Mom, you can’t go yet.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her. Joan, stop being so hardheaded and listen to me for a change. I’m not kidding around here. Take two more steps and that thing’s gonna break.” She waved a hand at the overstretched cord between Mom’s body and her soul. “Once it breaks, there’s no going back.”
Mom scowled. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want to go back!”
“Mom, you can’t mean that,” I whispered as too much emotion filled my chest. If I had been in my physical body, it would have been hard to breathe.
Mom turned to me with a sad smile. “I do, honey. I’m tired of living.”
Nanna growled out a sigh. “Everyone gets tired of living at some point. But I did not raise you to be a quitter. And that’s exactly what you’re trying to do here…you’re trying to give up on life just because it’s a little hard right now.”
“A little hard?” Mom turned to her mother with wide eyes that quickly narrowed. “I’ve lost everything! My job, my dog, my home. My life’s a freaking country song.”
“You’re going to get your life back now,” I said. “The war’s over. We won.”
“So what if we won for now? The Clann and the vamps hate each other too much for peace to really last. Vampires and descendants will never be able to safely live together for long.”
“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” Nanna said, her chin lifting. “You’re giving up because of a little heartbreak and lost love.”
Mom closed her eyes and shook her head, her shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world had just been dropped onto her back. “I’m so tired, Mom. I just want to be done with it all. Can’t you see? It is time for me to go. What do I have to go back for? A failed marriage? My stellar parenting of my daughter?”
“Mom, we all make mistakes,” I said. “Look at how my sneaking around with Tristan ended up costing Nanna her life.”
“Oh, child,” Nanna murmured, her eyes soft with love. “You know I forgave you for that a long time ago.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “Still, it was a choice with some huge consequences for others, consequences I didn’t even take the time to consider, and I should have. And I’m sorry.”
Mom’s eyebrows pinched together as she looked from me to Nanna and back. “That was one mistake, Savannah. I’ve made hundreds as your mother. I’ve been a horrible parent, and everyone knows it. I practically walked out on my own daughter just when you needed me the most.”
“No, you tried to save me,” I said. “If you’d been around, it might have triggered the bloodlust—”
“That’s a copout and we all know it. You were fine around your Nanna, weren’t you?” Mom took a deep breath. “The truth is, I was running away from my past, from my thousand and one screw-ups. I’ve been a coward, and you deserve a lot better. If not for your father—”
“He helped me with the vamp stuff, sure,” I said. “But what does he know about being a girl or a teen or dating or boys? You were the one who helped me with all of that.”
“From a hundred miles away while constantly on the road?”
“Sure. I always knew you were only a phone call away. And besides, when you left, you didn’t just walk away. You made sure to leave me with the best person who could help me at the time.” I smiled at Nanna, who gave me a small smile in return. “I always knew you loved me, Mom. And that’s way more than a lot of people can say about even parents who are around all the time. What’s more important… having a parent be physically there but who never bothers to say ‘I love you’ to their kid? Or one who always takes time to listen, really listen, and always makes sure I know I’m loved?”
Mom slowly shook her head. “Even still, no child should have to call or text her mother just to talk to her every day. I should have been there for you, but I wasn’t.”
“Fine, so you ran away,” Nanna snapped. “So why don’t you do something new and try not running away for a change? Or are you so selfish that you don’t even care about the heartbreak you’d be leaving behind?”
Mom winced and looked away. “It’s too late. I can’t change anything I’ve done. I deserve to lose everything.”
I had to speak up on that one. “Mom, what are you talking about? You haven’t lost me.”
“Yes, I have. You’ve got your dad and Tristan now. Neither will ever get sick or old and die on you. What more do you need? Certainly not a pathetic excuse for a mother like me who’s never around and can’t even help you learn to do magic.”
“I don’t want you around to help me with the magic,” I said. “I can figure that out on my own, and Tristan can help. I want you there to be my mom, because I love you.”
“I don’t think you’ve quite lost your love, either.” Nanna pointedly looked past us at something.
We all turned and looked at Dad as he continued to rock Mom’s body, his eyes closed, tears slipping down his cheeks. He’d never looked less like a vampire or more like a regular guy.
Mom’s eyes rounded. “But…how could he possibly still love me when I drive him nuts all the time? We fight constantly. And there’s the whole bloodlust problem. Not to mention the tiny fact that I’m getting older and more wrinkly and gray-haired by the second. Pretty soon I’ll look old enough to be his grandmother. And look at him. He could have anyone!”
“You two only argue so much because of that infernal pride of yours,” Nanna said. “Girl, how many times do I have to tell you you’ve got to let it go? What does it matter who pays for what as long as you’re together?”
Mom sighed. “Well, maybe I could ease up about some of that stuff. But he just drives me so insane all the time! Why can’t he ever, just once, let me pay for something?”
I thought about what Tristan said earlier tonight. “You know, maybe he can’t help it. Maybe it was just how he was raised. Maybe somebody taught him that being a real man meant taking care of the woman he loved in every way possible, including financially.”
One of Mom’s eyebrows arched. “That is so incredibly old-fashioned.”
“True.” I fought a smile. “But it also comes from a place of love.”
“Hmm.”
I couldn’t tell whether the sound she made was a thoughtful one or an irritated, dismissive one. She kept staring and frowning at Dad, rocking her empty body, and on this side of the afterlife I had no ability to read her mind.
She also wasn’t making any move to get back into her body and return to life.
I blew out a long, slow breath. Maybe Dad was right. Was I being selfish by begging my mother to live when she didn’t want to? “You know what? If you really don’t want to come back, then—” I took a deep breath and made myself say it “—then maybe you shouldn’t.”
“What?” Nanna croaked.
“No. We’re being selfish, Nanna. Mom should make up her own mind. It’s her life and her choice to make, not ours. If Dad and I aren’
t good enough reasons for her to want to live, if she’ll be happier here than back there, then we should love her enough to let her go.”
Mom’s eyes widened as she stared at me.
I walked over to my mother. “I wish I could at least hug you goodbye.” I thought of all the things I would miss about her…the smell of her Wind Song perfume and her frizzy blond curls tickling my face when we hugged, the sound of her voice as she rambled on about her day, the way she could make me laugh just by telling me some workplace gossip. “You do what you think is right for you, and I’ll love you either way, okay?”
Then I made myself turn and walk back to my body, carefully sitting down into it.
Just as I started to lie back, Mom sighed. “When did she get so dang grown up on us?”
Nanna just chuckled.
“All right, I’m coming back with you.” Mom started to hug her mother goodbye, but her arms passed right through her. She gave Nanna a rueful smile. “See you later?”
“In your dreams, kiddo.”
I smiled, knowing Nanna meant that literally since she’d shown up in Mom’s dreams before to boss her around.
Mom walked over to her body. “So I just sit down in it?”
“Yep,” I said. “It’s easy. Just sit down in your body, then lay back and relax and when you wake up you’ll be alive again.”
“As easy as dying,” Nanna joked.
Mom sat down in her body and frowned. “It feels weird. Kind of…tingly.” She started to lie back, then hesitated and her face lit up with a huge grin. “Hey, at least I get my dog and my job and my house back to myself now, right? It’ll be like playing a country song backward!”
“Right,” I said with a laugh that came from more than a little relief. Everything would be fine now. Maybe even better than fine.
Mom lay back in her body. Then her real eyes f luttered open on the other side. Dad froze, whispered her name, then hugged her even harder.
And that’s when I remembered what I’d forgotten to warn Mom about. “Uh-oh.”
“You didn’t tell her you gave her your blood, did you?” Nanna snickered. “Well, there’s more than one way to die as a vampire.”