CHAPTER II.
"Composure is my only chance." What chance have I of composure until Iknow the meaning of what I saw last night? Blind though I am, one faceis ever before me. No thickening of the membrane can exclude that face.Inspector Cutting is still below; I will send for him at once.
Mrs. Shelfer remonstrates. "It will excite you so, my good friend. Thedoctor said perfect quiet."
"Just so. I can have none, until I have spoken to your Uncle John. Lethim stay in my sitting-room, open the folding-door a little, and then,Mrs. Shelfer, please to go down stairs."
I hear the Inspector's step, not so heavy this time. He asks how I am,and expresses his sorrow. I feel obliged to him for not reminding methat the fault was all my own. Then I implore him, if he wishes me everto see again, to tell me all he knows about the men I saw last night.
Thus entreated, he cannot refuse me, but first looks up and down thestairs, as I know by the sound of his steps; then he shuts the door ofthe sitting-room. All he knows is not very much. They are refugees,Italian refugees; two political and two criminal exiles, leaders now ofa conspiracy to revolutionize their country.
"But why does he not arrest them?'
"Simply because he has no right. As for the political refugees, ofcourse, we never meddle with them; as for the two criminals, they havenot been demanded by their Government. Wonderful now, isn't it? Thetwo fellows who have committed murder their Government would not givesixpence for them; but the two men who have only spouted a little, itwould give a thousand pounds for either of them. He can't understandsuch a system."
And Inspector Cutting sucks his lips--I know it by the sound--he alwaysdoes it when he is in a puzzle. Being a true Englishman, he knows nomore of serfdom, than of the dark half of the moon. I mean, of course,political serfdom. Of social slavery we have enough to last tengenerations more.
"Would he be afraid to arrest them? He said they were desperate men."
"He should rather hope he wouldn't. They had got their knives, andpistols, and all that humbug. But it was more show than fight. Theywere desperate men in a private quarrel, particular when they could comeround a corner, and when women were concerned; but as for showing honestfight, he would sooner come across three of them, than one good Irishmurderer."
"What was his proof against my enemy? I need not ask him which it was."
The excitement of this question sent needles through my eyes. And Icould not see him, to probe his pupils.
"Well, his proof was very little. In fact it was no proof at all asyet. But he was not like a juryman. He was quite convinced; and hiseyes should never be off that man, until he had him under warrant, andthe whole case clear. Would that satisfy me?"
He spoke with such hearty professional pride, that I could not helpbelieving him. But as for being satisfied--why should his evidence be amystery to me? "Catch him at once," was my idea; but a hot and foolishone. "Get up the evidence first," was Inspector Cutting's, "I can catchhim at any time." That was the whole gist of it. Could he always catchhim?
He scorned the idea of there being any difficulty about it. The mancould leave for no part of the Continent; he was a political refugee.America was his only bourne beyond the Inspector's jurisdiction. Andthither he could not try to go without the Police being down upon him atonce.
By this time I was worn out, though my reasons were not exhausted. In aword, I was only half satisfied, but I could not help myself. If, in myhelpless blindness, I offended Inspector Cutting, the whole chancedisappeared. Only one question remained. "Why did he take me thither?"
"For excellent reasons. As to the one, it was most important that Ishould always know him again. Moreover, it saved my energies from waste.As to the other three, he had his own reasons for requiring anintelligent witness about their proceedings."
I thought of the thousand pounds, and said no more. Inspector Cuttingwas an Englishman, and proud, in his way, of English freedom. But, likenine-tenths of us, he thought that we alone understand what freedom is.What good was it to such fellows as those? They would only be free ofone another's throats. And like all of us, with most rare exception,next to freedom, he valued money. For our love of this, many foreignersjeer us. All we can say is, that with us it is second, with them it isfirst. But we are of such staple, our second is stronger than theirfirst.
When the Inspector was gone, I formed a very sensible resolve. Sincethere was nothing more to be done or learned at present, my only careshould be the recovery of my sight. If I were to be blind till death,the purpose of my life was lost, and I might as well die at once. Butnow the first blind agony, the sudden shock, was over; and I had toomuch of what the Inspector denominated "pluck," to knock under so.
In the afternoon, when all was quiet, lovely Isola came. Strict ordershad been given that no one should be admitted. But Mrs. Shelfer was notproof against the wiles of Isola.
"She smiled so bootiful, when I opened the door, Miss, it fetched outall my hair pins; and when I told her you was ill in bed, and struckstone blind along of some chemical stuff, two big tears came out of herlong blue eyes, same as the wet out of a pennorth of violets, Miss; andas for stopping her, she threw her muff at me, and told me to stop thatif I liked, and to run and tell you that she was coming, quick, quick!
"To be sure, and here I am!" cried the cheery voice I loved so well."Oh, Clara dear, dear Clara!" The little darling flung her soft warmarms around me, utterly forgetful of her dress, forgetful of all theworld, but that little bit of it she held. Her delicious breath cameover my fevered cheek, her cool satin flesh was on my burning eyelids.What lotion could be compared to this? How long she stayed, I cannottell; I only know that while I heard her voice, and felt her touch,blindness seemed no loss to me. She pronounced herself head nurse; andas for doctors, what were they, compared to her own father? If shecould coax him, he should come next day, and deliver his opinion, andthen the doctor might betake himself to things he understood, if indeedhe understood anything, which she did not believe he did, because he hadsaid she was not to come. My drawings too she admired, much more thanthey deserved, and her brother Conrad must come and see them, he was sofond of drawing, and there was nothing he could not do. She was sosorry she must go now, but old Cora must be tired of patroling, and sheherself had a lecture to attend upon the chemical affinity of bodies.What it meant she had no idea, but that would not matter the least; someof the clever girls said they did, but she would not believe them; ittook a man, she was sure, to understand such subjects. She would bringher work the next day, such as it was, and the nicest bit of sponge thatwas ever seen, it could not be bought in London; and she would answerfor it I should be able to paint her likeness in a week; and she wouldnot go till it was dark; and then the Professor should come for her whenhis lectures were over, and examine me; he knew all about optics, andretinas, and pencils of light, and refraction and aberration, and shecould not remember any more names; but she felt quite certain this was acase of optical delusion, and nothing else.
How I wished I could have seen her, when she pronounced this opinion,with no little solemnity. She must have looked such a sage! Thethought of that made me laugh, as well as the absurdity of the idea. ButI only asked how the Professor was to examine my eyes, if he did notcome till dark.
To be sure! She never thought of that. What a little goose she was!But she would make him come in the morning, before his work began; andthen old Cora would fetch her home to tea. And she had very greathopes, that if she could only persuade her papa to deliver a lecture inmy room, it would have such an effect on my optic nerves, that theywould come all right directly, at any rate I should know how to treatthem.
Delighted with this idea, she kissed me, and hugged me, and off she ran,after telling me to be sure to keep my spirits up, and the bandage nottoo tight.
The latter injunction was much easier to obey than the former. She hadenlivened me wonderfully, as well as nursed me most
delicately; but nowthat she was gone, the usual reaction commenced. Moreover, although asthe saying is, the sight of her would have been good for sore eyes, theeffort at seeing her, which I could not control, when she was present,was, I already felt, anything but good for them. And the loss, when shewas gone, was like a second loss of light.
Light! What million thoughts flash through me at that little word!Swiftest thing the mind has met, too like itself to understand. Is itsteed or wing of mind? Nay, not swift enough for that. Is it then thefood of life, prepared betimes ere life appeared, the food the blindreceive but cannot taste? If so, far better to be blind from birth.Well I know the taste from memory; shall I never taste it else? Hasbeauty lost its way to me? The many golden folds of air, the lustrousdance of sunny morn, the soft reclining of the moon, the grandperspective of the stars (long avenue to God's own home), are these allblank to me, and night made one with day?
Oh God, whose first approach was light, replenisher of sun and stars,whence dart anew thy gushing floods (solid or liquid we know not), whosesubtle volume has no bourne or track; light, the dayside half of life,leaping, flashing, beaming; glistening, twinkling, stealing; light! OhGod, if live I must, grudge me not a ray!