Read Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 3 Page 6
LETTER V
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. ST. ALBAN'S, MONDAY NIGHT.
I snatch a few moments while my beloved is retired, [as I hope, torest,] to perform my promise. No pursuit--nor have I apprehensions ofany; though I must make my charmer dread that there will be one.
And now, let me tell thee, that never was joy so complete as mine!--Butlet me inquire, is not the angel flown away?
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O no! She is in the next apartment!--Securely mine!--Mine for ever!
O ecstasy!--My heart will burst my breast, To leap into her bosom!
I knew that the whole stupid family were in a combination to do mybusiness for me. I told thee that they were all working for me, like somany ground moles; and still more blind than the moles are said to be,unknowing that they did so. I myself, the director of their principalmotions; which falling in with the malice of their little hearts, theytook to be all their own.
But did I say my joy was perfect?--O no!--It receives some abatementfrom my disgusted bride. For how can I endure to think that I owe moreto her relations' precautions than to her favour for me?--Or even, asfar as I know, to her preference of me to another man?
But let me not indulge this thought. Were I to do so, it might cost mycharmer dear. Let me rejoice, that she has passed the rubicon: that shecannot return: that, as I have ordered it, the flight will appear to theimplacables to be altogether with her own consent: and that if I doubther love, I can put her to trials as mortifying to her niceness, asglorious to my pride.--For, let me tell thee, dearly as I love her, ifI thought there was but the shadow of a doubt in her mind whether shepreferred me to any man living, I would shew her no mercy.
TUESDAY, DAY-DAWN.
But, on the wings of love, I fly to my charmer, who perhaps by this timeis rising to encourage the tardy dawn. I have not slept a wink of thehour and half I lay down to invite sleep. It seems to me, that I am notso much body, as to require such a vulgar renovation.
But why, as in the chariot, as in the inn, at alighting, allheart-bursting grief, my dearest creature? SO persecuted as thou wertpersecuted!--So much in danger of the most abhorred compulsion!--Yetgrief so unsuspectedly sincere for an escape so critical!--Take care,take care, O beloved of my soul! for jealous is the heart in which lovehas erected a temple to thee.
Yet, it must be allowed, that such a sudden transition must affect her;must ice her over. When a little more used to her new situation; whenher hurries are at an end; when she sees how religiously I shallobserve all her INJUNCTIONS; she will undoubtedly have the gratitudeto distinguish between the confinement she has escaped from, and theliberty she has reason to rejoice in.
She comes! She comes! And the sun is just rising to attend her! Adieu!Be half as happy as I am (for all diffidencies, like night-fogs beforethe sun, disperse at her approach) and, next myself, thou wilt be thehappiest man in the world.