LETTER X
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWEWEDN. MAY 3.
I am astonished that my mother should take such a step--purely toexercise an unreasonable act of authority; and to oblige the mostremorseless hearts in the world. If I find that I can be of use to you,either by advice or information, do you think I will not give it!--Wereit to any other person, much less dear to me than you are, do you think,in such a case, I would forbear giving it?
Mr. Hickman, who pretends to a little casuistry in such nice matters, isof opinion that I ought not to decline such a correspondence thuscircumstanced. And it is well he is; for my mother having set me up, Imust have somebody to quarrel with.
This I will come into if it will make you easy--I will forbear to writeto you for a few days, if nothing extraordinary happen, and till therigour of her prohibition is abated. But be assured that I will notdispense with your writing to me. My heart, my conscience, my honour,will not permit it.
But how will I help myself?--How!--easily enough. For I do assure youthat I want but very little farther provocation to fly privately toLondon. And if I do, I will not leave you till I see you eitherhonourably married, or absolutely quit of the wretch: and, in this lastcase, I will take you down with me, in defiance of the whole world: or,if you refuse to go with me, stay with you, and accompany you as yourshadow whithersoever you go.
Don't be frightened at this declaration. There is but one consideration,and but one hope, that withhold me, watched as I am in all myretirements; obliged to read to her without a voice; to work in herpresence without fingers; and to lie with her every night against mywill. The consideration is, lest you should apprehend that a step ofthis nature would look like a doubling of your fault, in the eyes of suchas think your going away a fault. The hope is, that things will stillend happily, and that some people will have reason to take shame tothemselves for the sorry part they have acted. Nevertheless I am oftenbalancing--but your resolving to give up the correspondence at thiscrisis will turn the scale. Write, therefore, or take the consequence.
A few words upon the subject of your last letters. I know not whetheryour brother's wise project be given up or not. A dead silence reigns inyour family. Your brother was absent three days; then at home one; andis now absent: but whether with Singleton, or not, I cannot find out.
By your account of your wretch's companions, I see not but they are a setof infernals, and he the Beelzebub. What could he mean, as you say, byhis earnestness to bring you into such company, and to give you such anopportunity to make him and them reflecting-glasses to one another? Theman's a fool, to be sure, my dear--a silly fellow, at least--the wretchesmust put on their best before you, no doubt--Lords of the creation!--noble fellows these!--Yet who knows how many poor despicable souls of oursex the worst of them has had to whine after him!
You have brought an inconvenience upon yourself, as you observe, by yourrefusal of Miss Partington for your bedfellow. Pity you had not admittedher! watchful as you are, what could have happened? If violence wereintended, he would not stay for the night. You might have sat up afterher, or not gone to bed. Mrs. Sinclair pressed it too far. You wasover-scrupulous.
If any thing happen to delay your nuptials, I would advise you to remove:but, if you marry, perhaps you may think it no great matter to stay whereyou are till you take possession of your own estate. The knot once tied,and with so resolute a man, it is my opinion your relations will soonresign what they cannot legally hold: and, were even a litigation tofollow, you will not be able, nor ought you to be willing, to help it:for your estate will then be his right; and it will be unjust to wish itto be withheld from him.
One thing I would advise you to think of; and that is, of propersettlements: it will be to the credit of your prudence and of his justice(and the more as matters stand) that something of this should be donebefore you marry. Bad as he is, nobody accounts him a sordid man. And Iwonder he has been hitherto silent on that subject.
I am not displeased with his proposal about the widow lady's house. Ithink it will do very well. But if it must be three weeks before you canbe certain about it, surely you need not put off his day for that space:and he may bespeak his equipages. Surprising to me, as well as to you,that he could be so acquiescent!
I repeat--continue to write to me. I insist upon it; and that asminutely as possible: or, take the consequence. I send this by aparticular hand. I am, and ever will be,
Your most affectionate,ANNA HOWE.