LETTER XXXII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWETUESDAY NIGHT, MAY 16.
Mr. Lovelace has sent me, by Dorcas, his proposals, as follow:
'To spare a delicacy so extreme, and to obey you, I write: and the ratherthat you may communicate this paper to Miss Howe, who may consult any ofher friends you shall think proper to have intrusted on this occasion. Isay intrusted; because, as you know, I have given it out to severalpersons, that we are actually married.
'In the first place, Madam, I offer to settle upon you, by way ofjointure, your whole estate: and moreover to vest in trustees such a partof mine in Lancashire, as shall produce a clear four hundred pounds ayear, to be paid to your sole and separate use quarterly.
'My own estate is a clear not nominnal 2000l. per annum. Lord M.proposes to give me possession either of that which he has in Lancashire,[to which, by the way, I think I have a better title than he hashimself,] or that we call The Lawn, in Hertfordshire, upon my nuptialswith a lady whom he so greatly admires; and to make that I shall choose aclear 1000l. per annum.
'My too great contempt of censure has subjected me to much slander. Itmay not therefore be improper to assure you, on the word of a gentleman,that no part of my estate was ever mortgaged: and that although I livedvery expensively abroad, and made large draughts, yet that Midsummer-daynext will discharge all that I owe in the world. My notions are not allbad ones. I have been thought, in pecuniary cases, generous. It wouldhave deserved another name, had I not first been just.
'If, as your own estate is at present in your father's hands, you ratherchoose that I should make a jointure out of mine, tantamount to yours, beit what it will, it shall be done. I will engage Lord M. to write toyou, what he proposes to do on the happy occasion: not as your desire orexpectation, but to demonstrate, that no advantage is intended to betaken of the situation you are in with your own family.
'To shew the beloved daughter the consideration I have for her, I willconsent that she shall prescribe the terms of agreement in relation tothe large sums, which must be in her father's hands, arising from hergrandfather's estate. I have no doubt, but he will be put upon makinglarge demands upon you. All those it shall be in your power to complywith, for the sake of your own peace. And the remainder shall be paidinto your hands, and be entirely at your disposal, as a fund to supportthose charitable donations, which I have heard you so famed for out ofyour family, and for which you have been so greatly reflected upon in it.
'As to clothes, jewels, and the like, against the time you shall chooseto make your appearance, it will be my pride that you shall not bebeholden for such of these, as shall be answerable to the rank of both,to those who have had the stupid folly to renounce a daughter theydeserved not. You must excuse me, Madam: you would mistrust my sincerityin the rest, could I speak of these people without asperity, though sonearly related to you.
'These, Madam, are my proposals. They are such as I always designed tomake, whenever you would permit me to enter into the delightful subject.But you have been so determined to try every method for reconcilingyourself to your relations, even by giving me absolutely up for ever,that you seemed to think it but justice to keep me at a distance, tillthe event of that your predominant hope could be seen. It is now seen!--and although I have been, and perhaps still am, ready to regret thewant of that preference I wished for from you as Miss Clarissa Harlowe,yet I am sure, as the husband of Mrs. Lovelace, I shall be more readyto adore than to blame you for the pangs you have given to a heart, thegenerosity, or rather, the justice of which, my implacable enemies havetaught you to doubt: and this still the readier, as I am persuaded thatthose pangs never would have been given by a mind so noble, had not thedoubt been entertained (perhaps with too great an appearance of reason);and as I hope I shall have it to reflect, that the moment the doubt shallbe overcome, the indifference will cease.
'I will only add, that if I have omitted any thing, that would have givenyou farther satisfaction; or if the above terms be short of what youwould wish; you will be pleased to supply them as you think fit. Andwhen I know your pleasure, I will instantly order articles to be drawn upcomformably, that nothing in my power may be wanting to make you happy.
'You will now, dearest Madam, judge, how far all the rest depends uponyourself.'
You see, my dear, what he offers. You see it is all my fault, that hehas not made these offers before. I am a strange creature!--to be toblame in every thing, and to every body; yet neither intend the ill atthe time, nor know it to be the ill too late, or so nearly too late, thatI must give up all the delicacy he talks of, to compound for my fault!
I shall now judge how far the rest depends upon myself! So coldlyconcludes he such warm, and, in the main, unobjectionably proposals:Would you not, as you read, have supposed, that the paper would concludewith the most earnest demand of a day?--I own, I had that expectation sostrong, resulting naturally, as I may say, from the premises, thatwithout studying for dissatisfaction, I could not help being dissatisfiedwhen I came to the conclusion.
But you say there is no help. I must perhaps make further sacrifices.All delicacy it seems is to be at an end with me!--but, if so, this manknows not what every wise man knows, that prudence, and virtue, anddelicacy of mind in a wife, do the husband more real honour in the eye ofthe world, than the same qualities (were she destitute of them) inhimself, do him: as the want of them in her does him more dishonour: Forare not the wife's errors the husband's reproach? how justly hisreproach, is another thing.
I will consider this paper; and write to it, if I am able: for it seemsnow, all the rest depends upon myself.