LETTER XLIX
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.TUESDAY, MAY 23.
Well did I, and but just in time to conclude to have done with Mrs.Fretchville and the house: for here Mennell has declared, that he cannotin conscience and honour go any farther.--He would not for the world beaccessory to the deceiving of such a lady!--I was a fool to let eitheryou or him see her; for ever since ye have both had scruples, whichneither would have had, were a woman to have been in the question.
Well, I can't help it!
Mennell has, however, though with some reluctance, consented to write mea letter, provided I will allow it to be the last step he shall take inthis affair.
I presumed, I told him, that if I could cause Mrs. Fretchville's woman tosupply his place, he would have no objection to that.
None, he says--But is it not pity--
A pitiful fellow! Such a ridiculous kind of pity his, as those sillysouls have, who would not kill an innocent chicken for the world; butwhen killed to their hands, are always the most greedy devourers of it.
Now this letter gives the servant the small-pox: and she has given it toher unhappy vapourish lady. Vapourish people are perpetual subjects fordiseases to work upon. Name but the malady, and it is theirs in amoment. Ever fitted for inoculation.--The physical tribe's milch-cows.--A vapourish or splenetic patient is a fiddle for the doctors; and theyare eternally playing upon it. Sweet music does it make them. All theirdifficulty, except a case extraordinary happens, (as poor Mrs.Fretchville's, who has realized her apprehensions,) is but to hold theircountenance, while their patient is drawing up a bill of indictmentagainst himself;--and when they have heard it, proceed to punish--theright word for prescribe. Why should they not, when the criminal hasconfessed his guilt?--And punish they generally do with a vengeance.
Yet, silly toads too, now I think of it. For why, when they know theycannot do good, may they not as well endeavour to gratify, as tonauseate, the patient's palate?
Were I a physician, I'd get all the trade to myself: for Malmsey, andCyprus, and the generous product of the Cape, a little disguised, shouldbe my principal doses: as these would create new spirits, how would therevived patient covet the physic, and adore the doctor!
Give all the paraders of the faculty whom thou knowest this hint.--Therecould but one inconvenience arise from it. The APOTHECARIES would findtheir medicines cost them something: but the demand for quantities wouldanswer that: since the honest NURSE would be the patient's taster;perpetually requiring repetitions of the last cordial julap.
Well, but to the letter--Yet what need of further explanation after thehints in my former? The widow can't be removed; and that's enough: andMennell's work is over; and his conscience left to plague him for his ownsins, and not another man's: and, very possibly, plague enough will givehim for those.
This letter is directed, To Robert Lovelace, Esq. or, in his absence, tohis Lady. She has refused dining with me, or seeing me: and I was outwhen it came. She opened it: so is my lady by her own consent, proud andsaucy as she is.
I am glad at my heart that it came before we entirely make up. She wouldelse perhaps have concluded it to be contrived for a delay: and now,moreover, we can accommodate our old and new quarrels together; andthat's contrivance, you know. But how is her dear haughty heart humbledto what it was when I knew her first, that she can apprehend any delaysfrom me; and have nothing to do but to vex at them!
I came in to dinner. She sent me down the letter, desiring my excuse foropening it.--Did it before she was aware. Lady-pride, Belford!recollection, then retrogradation!
I requested to see her upon it that moment.--But she desires to suspendour interview till morning. I will bring her to own, before I have donewith her, that she can't see me too often.
My impatience was so great, on an occasion so unexpected, that I couldnot help writing to tell her, 'how much vexed I was at the accident: butthat it need not delay my happy day, as that did not depend upon thehouse. [She knew that before, she'll think; and so did I.] And as Mrs.Fretchville, by Mr. Mennell, so handsomely expressed her concern upon it,and her wishes that it could suit us to bear with the unavoidable delay,I hoped, that going down to The Lawn for two or three of the summer-months, when I was made the happiest of men, would be favourable to allround.'
The dear creature takes this incident to heart, I believe: She has sentword to my repeated request to see her notwithstanding her denial, thatshe cannot till the morning: it shall be then at six o'clock, if Iplease!
To be sure I do please!
Can see her but once a day now, Jack!
Did I tell thee, that I wrote a letter to my cousin Montague, wonderingthat I heard not from Lord M. as the subject was so very interesting! Init I acquainted her with the house I was about taking; and with Mrs.Fretchville's vapourish delays.
I was very loth to engage my own family, either man or woman, in thisaffair; but I must take my measures securely: and already they all thinkas bad of me as they well can. You observe by my Lord M.'s letter toyourself, that the well-manner'd peer is afraid I should play thisadmirable creature one of my usual dog's tricks.
I have received just now an answer from Charlotte.
Charlot i'n't well. A stomach disorder!
No wonder a girl's stomach should plague her. A single woman; that's it.When she has a man to plague, it will have something besides itself toprey upon. Knowest thou not moreover, that man is the woman's sun; womanis the man's earth?--How dreary, how desolate, the earth, that the sunsshines not upon!
Poor Charlotte! But I heard she was not well: that encouraged me towrite to her; and to express myself a little concerned, that she had not,of her own accord, thought of a visit in town to my charmer.
Here follows a copy of her letter. Thou wilt see by it that every littlemonkey is to catechise me. They all depend upon my good-nature.
M. HALL, MAY 22.
DEAR COUSIN,
We have been in daily hope for a long time, I must call it, of hearingthat the happy knot was tied. My Lord has been very much out of order:and yet nothing would serve him, but he would himself write an answer toyour letter. It was the only opportunity he should ever have, perhaps,to throw in a little good advice to you, with the hope of its being ofany signification; and he has been several hours in a day, as his goutwould let him, busied in it. It wants now only his last revisal. Hehopes it will have the greater weight with you, as it appear all in hisown hand-writing.
Indeed, Mr. Lovelace, his worthy heart is wrapt up in you. I wish youloved yourself but half as well. But I believe too, that if all thefamily loved you less, you would love yourself more.
His Lordship has been very busy, at the times he could not write, inconsulting Pritchard about those estates which he proposes to transfer toyou on the happy occasion, that he may answer your letter in the mostacceptable manner; and show, by effects, how kindly he takes yourinvitation. I assure you he is mighty proud of it.
As for myself, I am not at all well, and have not been for some weekspast, with my old stomach-disorder. I had certainly else before now havedone myself the honour you wonder I have not done myself. Lady Betty,who would have accompanied me, (for we have laid it all out,) has beenexceedingly busy in her law-affair; her antagonist, who is actually onthe spot, having been making proposals for an accommodation. But you mayassure yourself, that when our dear relation-elect shall be entered uponthe new habitation you tell me of, we will do ourselves the honour ofvisiting her; and if any delay arises from the dear lady's want ofcourage, (which considering her man, let me tell you, may very well be,)we will endeavour to inspire her with it, and be sponsors for you;--for,cousin, I believe you have need to be christened over again before youare entitled to so great a blessing. What think you?
Just now, my Lord tells me, he will dispatch a man on purpose with hisletter to-morrow: so I needed not to have written. But now I have, letit go; and by Empson, who sets out directly on his return to town.
My best compliments, and sister's, to the most deserving lady in theworld [you will need no other direction to the person meant] conclude me
Your affectionate cousin and servant,CHARL. MONTAGUE.
***
Thou seest how seasonably this letter comes. I hope my Lord will writenothing but what I may show to my beloved. I have actually sent her upthis letter of Charlotte's, and hope for happy effects from it.
R.L.
***
[The Lady, in her next letter, gives Miss Howe an account of what passed between Mr. Lovelace and herself. She resents his behaviour with her usual dignity. But when she comes to mention Mr. Mennell's letter, she re-urges Miss Howe to perfect her scheme for her deliverance; being resolved to leave him. But, dating again, on his sending up to her Miss Montague's letter, she alters her mind, and desires her to suspend for the present her application to Mrs. Townsend.]
I had begun, says she, to suspect all he had said of Mrs. Fretchville andher house; and even Mr. Mennell himself, though so well-appearing a man.But now that I find Mr. Lovelace has apprized his relations of his intentto take it, and had engaged some of the ladies to visit me there, I couldhardly forbear blaming myself for censuring him as capable of so vile animposture. But may he not thank himself for acting so veryunaccountably, and taking such needlessly-awry steps, as he had done,embarrassing, as I told him, his own meanings, if they were good?