LETTER IX
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.TUESDAY, MAY 30.
I have a letter from Lord M. Such a one as I would wish for, if Iintended matrimony. But as matters are circumstanced, I cannot think ofshowing it to my beloved.
My Lord regrets, 'that he is not to be the Lady's nuptial father. Heseems apprehensive that I have still, specious as my reasons are, somemischief in my head.'
He graciously consents, 'that I may marry when I please; and offers oneor both of my cousins to assist my bride, and to support her spirits onthe occasion; since, as he understands, she is so much afraid to venturewith me.
'Pritchard, he tells me, has his final orders to draw up deeds forassigning over to me, in perpetuity, 1000L. per annum: which he willexecute the same hour that the lady in person owns her marriage.'
He consents, 'that the jointure be made from my own estate.'
He wishes, 'that the Lady would have accepted of his draught; andcommends me for tendering it to her. But reproaches me for my pride innot keeping it myself. What the right side gives up, the left, he says,may be the better for.'
The girls, the left-sided girls, he means.
With all my heart. If I can have my Clarissa, the devil take every thingelse.
A good deal of other stuff writes the stupid peer; scribbling in severalplaces half a dozen lines, apparently for no other reason but to bring inas many musty words in an old saw.
If thou sawest, 'How I can manage, since my beloved will wonder that Ihave not an answer from my Lord to such a letter as I wrote to him; andif I own I have one, will expect that I should shew it to her, as I didmy letter?--This I answer--'That I can be informed by Pritchard, that myLord has the gout in his right-hand; and has ordered him to attend me inform, for my particular orders about the transfer:' And I can seePritchard, thou knowest, at the King's Arms, or wherever I please, at anhour's warning; though he be at M. Hall, I in town; and he, by word ofmouth, can acquaint me with every thing in my Lord's letter that isnecessary for my charmer to know.
Whenever it suits me, I can resolve the old peer to his right hand, andthen can make him write a much more sensible letter than this that he hasnow sent me.
Thou knowest, that an adroitness in the art of manual imitation, was oneof my earliest attainments. It has been said, on this occasion, that hadI been a bad man in meum and tuum matters, I should not have been fit tolive. As to the girls, we hold it no sin to cheat them. And are we nottold, that in being well deceived consists the whole of human happiness?
WEDNESDAY, MAY 31.
All still happier and happier. A very high honour done me: a chariot,instead of a coach, permitted, purposely to indulge me in the subject ofsubjects.
Our discourse in this sweet airing turned upon our future manner of life.The day is bashfully promised me. Soon was the answer to my repeatedurgency. Our equipage, our servants, our liveries, were parts of thedelightful subject. A desire that the wretch who had given meintelligence out of the family (honest Joseph Leman) might not be one ofour menials; and her resolution to have her faithful Hannah, whetherrecovered or not; were signified; and both as readily assented to.
Her wishes, from my attentive behaviour, when with her at St. Paul's,*that I would often accompany her to the Divine Service, were greatlyintimated, and as readily engaged for. I assured her, that I ever hadrespected the clergy in a body; and some individuals of them (her Dr.Lewen for one) highly: and that were not going to church an act ofreligion, I thought it [as I told thee once] a most agreeable sight tosee rich and poor, all of a company, as I might say, assembled once aweek in one place, and each in his or her best attire, to worship the Godthat made them. Nor could it be a hardship upon a man liberallyeducated, to make one on so solemn an occasion, and to hear the harangueof a man of letters, (though far from being the principal part of theservice, as it is too generally looked upon to be,) whose studies havingtaken a different turn from his own, he must always have something new tosay.
* See Vol. IV. Letter V.** Ibid.
She shook her head, and repeated the word new: but looked as if willingto be satisfied for the present with this answer. To be sure, Jack, shemeans to do great despight to his Satanic majesty in her hopes ofreforming me. No wonder, therefore, if he exerts himself to prevent her,and to be revenged. But how came this in!--I am ever of party againstmyself.--One day, I fancy, I shall hate myself on recollecting what I amabout at this instant. But I must stay till then. We must all of us dosomething to repent of.
The reconciliation-prospect was enlarged upon. If her uncle Harlowe willbut pave the way to it, and if it can be brought about, she shall behappy.--Happy, with a sigh, as it is now possible she can be!
She won't forbear, Jack!
I told her, that I had heard from Pritchard, just before we set out onour airing, and expected him in town to-morrow from Lord M. to take mydirections. I spoke with gratitude of my Lord's kindness to me; and withpleasure of Lady Sarah's, Lady Betty's, and my two cousins Montague'sveneration for her: as also of his Lordship's concern that his gouthindered him from writing a reply with his own hand to my last.
She pitied my Lord. She pitied poor Mrs. Fretchville too; for she hadthe goodness to inquire after her. The dear creature pitied every bodythat seemed to want pity. Happy in her own prospects, she had leisure tolook abroad, and wishes every body equally happy.
It is likely to go very hard with Mrs. Fretchville. Her face, which shehad valued herself upon, will be utterly ruined. 'This good, however, asI could not but observe, she may reap from so great an evil--as thegreater malady generally swallows up the less, she may have a grief onthis occasion, that may diminish the other grief, and make it tolerable.'
I had a gentle reprimand for this light turn on so heavy an evil--'Forwhat was the loss of beauty to the loss of a good husband?'--Excellentcreature!
Her hopes (and her pleasure upon those hopes) that Miss Howe's motherwould be reconciled to her, were also mentioned. Good Mrs. Howe was herword, for a woman so covetous, and so remorseless in her covetousness,that no one else will call her good. But this dear creature has such anextension in her love, as to be capable of valuing the most insignificantanimal related to those whom she respects. Love me, and love my dog, Ihave heard Lord M. say.--Who knows, but that I may in time, in complimentto myself, bring her to think well of thee, Jack?
But what am I about? Am I not all this time arraigning my own heart?--Iknow I am, by the remorse I feel in it, while my pen bears testimony toher excellence. But yet I must add (for no selfish consideration shallhinder me from doing justice to this admirable creature) that in thisconversation she demonstrated so much prudent knowledge in every thingthat relates to that part of the domestic management which falls underthe care of a mistress of a family, that I believe she has no equal ofher years in the world.
But, indeed, I know not the subject on which she does not talk withadmirable distinction; insomuch that could I but get over my prejudicesagainst matrimony, and resolve to walk in the dull beaten path of myancestors, I should be the happiest of men--and if I cannot, I may be tentimes more to be pitied than she.
My heart, my heart, Belford, is not to be trusted--I break off, tore-peruse some of Miss Howe's virulence.
***
Cursed letters, these of Miss Howe, Jack!--Do thou turn back to those ofmine, where I take notice of them--I proceed--
Upon the whole, my charmer was all gentleness, all ease, all serenity,throughout this sweet excursion. Nor had she reason to be otherwise: forit being the first time that I had the honour of her company alone, I wasresolved to encourage her, by my respectfulness, to repeat the favour.
On our return, I found the counsellor's clerk waiting for me, with adraught of the marriage-settlements.
They are drawn, with only the necessary variations, from those made formy mother. The original of which (now returned by the counsellor) aswell as the new draughts, I have put into my beloved's hands.
; These settlements of my mother made the lawyer's work easy; nor can shehave a better precedent; the great Lord S. having settled them, at therequest of my mother's relations; all the difference, my charmer's are100l. per annum more than my mother's.
I offered to read to her the old deed, while she looked over the draught;for she had refused her presence at the examination with the clerk: butthis she also declined.
I suppose she did not care to hear of so many children, first, second,third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh sons, and as many daughters, tobe begotten upon the body of the said Clarissa Harlowe.
Charming matrimonial recitativoes!--though it is always said lawfullybegotten too--as if a man could beget children unlawfully upon the bodyof his own wife.--But thinkest thou not that these arch rogues thelawyers hereby intimate, that a man may have children by his wife beforemarriage?--This must be what they mean. Why will these sly fellows putan honest man in minds of such rogueries?--but hence, as in numberlessother instances, we see, that law and gospel are two very differentthings.
Dorcas, in our absence, tried to get at the wainscot-box in the darkcloset. But it cannot be done without violence. And to run a risk ofconsequence now, for mere curiosity-sake, would be inexcusable.
Mrs. Sinclair and the nymphs are all of opinion, that I am now so much afavourite, and have such a visible share in her confidence, and even inher affections, that I may do what I will, and plead for excuse violenceof passion; which, they will have it, makes violence of action pardonablewith their sex; as well as allowed extenuation with the unconcerned ofboth sexes; and they all offer their helping hands. Why not? they say:Has she not passed for my wife before them all?--And is she not in a fineway of being reconciled to her friends?--And was not the want of thatreconciliation the pretence for postponing the consummation?
They again urge me, since it is so difficult to make night my friend, toan attempt in the day. They remind me, that the situation of their houseis such, that no noises can be heard out of it; and ridicule me formaking it necessary for a lady to be undressed. It was not always sowith me, poor old man! Sally told me; saucily flinging her handkerchiefin my face.