LETTER X
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
Well, but now my plots thicken; and my employment of writing to thee onthis subject will soon come to a conclusion. For now, having got thelicense; and Mrs. Townsend with her tars, being to come to Hampstead nextWednesday or Thursday; and another letter possibly, or message from MissHowe, to inquire how Miss Harlowe does, upon the rustic's report of herill health, and to express her wonder that she has not heard form her inanswer to her's on her escape; I must soon blow up the lady, or be blownup myself. And so I am preparing, with Lady Betty and my cousinMontague, to wait upon my beloved with a coach-and-four, or a sett; forLady Betty will not stir out with a pair for the world; though but fortwo or three miles. And this is a well-known part of her character.
But as to the arms and crest upon the coach and trappings?
Dost thou not know that a Blunt's must supply her, while her own is newlining and repairing? An opportunity she is willing to take now she isin town. Nothing of this kind can be done to her mind in the country.Liveries nearly Lady Betty's.
Thou hast seen Lady Betty Lawrance several times--hast thou not, Belford?
No, never in my life.
But thou hast--and lain with her too; or fame does thee more credit thanthou deservest--Why, Jack, knowest thou not Lady Betty's other name?
Other name!--Has she two?
She has. And what thinkest thou of Lady Bab. Wallis?
O the devil!
Now thou hast it. Lady Barbara thou knowest, lifted up in circumstances,and by pride, never appears or produces herself, but on occasions special--to pass to men of quality or price, for a duchess, or countess, atleast. She has always been admired for a grandeur in her air, that fewwomen of quality can come up to; and never was supposed to be other thanwhat she passed for; though often and often a paramour for lords.
And who, thinkest thou, is my cousin Montague?
Nay, how should I know?
How indeed! Why, my little Johanetta Golding, a lively, yetmodest-looking girl, is my cousin Montague.
There, Belford, is an aunt!--There's a cousin!--Both have wit at will.Both are accustomed to ape quality.--Both are genteelly descended.Mistresses of themselves, and well educated--yet past pity.--True Spartandames; ashamed of nothing but detection--always, therefore, upon theirguard against that. And in their own conceit, when assuming top parts,the very quality they ape.
And how dost think I dress them out?--I'll tell thee.
Lady Betty in a rich gold tissue, adorned with jewels of high price.
My cousin Montague in a pale pink, standing on end with silver flowers ofher own working. Charlotte as well as my beloved is admirable at herneedle. Not quite so richly jewell'd out as Lady Betty; but ear-ringsand solitaire very valuable, and infinitely becoming.
Johanetta, thou knowest, has a good complexion, a fine neck, and earsremarkably fine--so has Charlotte. She is nearly of Charlotte's staturetoo.
Laces both, the richest that could be procured.
Thou canst not imagine what a sum the loan of the jewels cost me, thoughbut for three days.
This sweet girl will half ruin me. But seest thou not, by this time,that her reign is short!--It must be so. And Mrs. Sinclair has alreadyprepared every thing for her reception once more.
***
Here come the ladies--attended by Susan Morrison, a tenant-farmer'sdaughter, as Lady Betty's woman; with her hands before her, andthoroughly instructed.
How dress advantages women!--especially those who have naturally agenteel air and turn, and have had education.
Hadst thou seen how they paraded it--Cousin, and Cousin, and Nephew, atevery word; Lady Betty bridling and looking haughtily-condescending.--Charlotte galanting her fan, and swimming over the floor without touchingit.
How I long to see my niece-elect! cries one--for they are told that weare not married; and are pleased that I have not put the slight upon themthat they had apprehended from me.
How I long to see my dear cousin that is to be, the other!
Your La'ship, and your La'ship, and an awkward courtesy at every address--prim Susan Morrison.
Top your parts, ye villains!--You know how nicely I distinguish. Therewill be no passion in this case to blind the judgment, and to help onmeditated delusion, as when you engage with titled sinners. My charmeris as cool and as distinguishing, though not quite so learned in her ownsex, as I am. Your commonly-assumed dignity won't do for me now. Airsof superiority, as if born to rank.--But no over-do!--Doubting nothing.Let not your faces arraign your hearts.
Easy and unaffected!--Your very dresses will give you pride enough.
A little graver, Lady Betty.--More significance, less bridling in yourdignity.
That's the air! Charmingly hit----Again----You have it.
Devil take you!--Less arrogance. You are got into airs of young quality.Be less sensible of your new condition. People born to dignity commandrespect without needing to require it.
Now for your part, Cousin Charlotte!--
Pretty well. But a little too frolicky that air.--Yet have I prepared mybeloved to expect in you both great vivacity and quality-freedom.
Curse those eyes!--Those glancings will never do. A down-cast bashfulturn, if you can command it. Look upon me. Suppose me now to be mybeloved.
Devil take that leer. Too significantly arch!--Once I knew you the girlI would now have you to be.
Sprightly, but not confident, cousin Charlotte!--Be sure forget not tolook down, or aside, when looked at. When eyes meet eyes, be your's theretreating ones. Your face will bear examination.
O Lord! Lord! that so young a creature can so soon forget the innocentappearance she first charmed by; and which I thought born with you all!--Five years to ruin what twenty had been building up! How natural thelatter lesson! How difficult to regain the former!
A stranger, as I hope to be saved, to the principal arts of your sex!--Once more, what a devil has your heart to do in your eyes?
Have I not told you, that my beloved is a great observer of the eyes?She once quoted upon me a text,* which showed me how she came by herknowledge--Dorcas's were found guilty of treason the first moment shesaw her.
* Eccles. xxvi. The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughtylooks and eye-lids. Watch over an impudent eye, and marvel not if ittrespass against thee.
Once more, suppose me to be my charmer.--Now you are to encounter myexamining eye, and my doubting heart--
That's my dear!
Study that air in the pier-glass!--
Charmingly!--Perfectly right!
Your honours, now, devils!--
Pretty well, Cousin Charlotte, for a young country lady! Till formyields to familiarity, you may courtesy low. You must not be supposedto have forgot your boarding-school airs.
But too low, too low Lady Betty, for your years and your quality. Thecommon fault of your sex will be your danger: aiming to be young toolong!--The devil's in you all, when you judge of yourselves by yourwishes, and by your vanity! Fifty, in that case, is never more thanfifteen.
Graceful ease, conscious dignity, like that of my charmer, Oh! how hardto hit!
Both together now--
Charming!--That's the air, Lady Betty!--That's the cue, Cousin Charlotte,suited to the character of each!--But, once more, be sure to have a guardupon your eyes.
Never fear, Nephew!--
Never fear, Cousin.
A dram of Barbadoes each--
And now we are gone--