LETTER XXX
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
A man is just now arrived from M. Hall, who tells me, that my Lord is ina very dangerous way. The gout in his stomach to an extreme degree,occasioned by drinking a great quantity of lemonade.
A man of 8000L. a year to prefer his appetite to his health!--He deservesto die!--But we have all of us our inordinate passions to gratify: andthey generally bring their punishment along with them--sowitnesses the nephew, as well as the uncle.
The fellow was sent upon other business; but stretched his orders alittle, to make his court to a successor.
I am glad I was not at M. Hall, at the time my Lord took the gratefuldose: [it was certainly grateful to him at the time:] there are peoplein the world, who would have had the wickedness to say, that I hadpersuaded him to drink.
The man says, that his Lordship was so bad when he came away, that thefamily began to talk of sending for me in post haste. As I know theold peer has a good deal of cash by him, of which he seldom keepsaccount, it behoves me to go down as soon as I can. But what shall Ido with this dear creature the while?--To-morrow over, I shall, perhaps,be able to answer my own question. I am afraid she will makeme desperate.
For here have I sent to implore her company, and am denied with scorn.
***
I have been so happy as to receive, this moment, a third letter fromthe dear correspondent Miss Howe. A little severe devil!--It wouldhave broken the heart of my beloved, had it fallen into her hands. Iwill enclose a copy of it. Read it here.
TUESDAY, JUNE 20.
MY DEAREST MISS HARLOWE,
Again I venture to you, (almost against inclination;) and that by yourformer conveyance, little as I like it.
I know not how it is with you. It may be bad; and then it would be hardto upbraid you, for a silence you may not be able to help. But if not,what shall I say severe enough, that you have not answered either of mylast letters? the first* of which [and I think it imported you too muchto be silent upon it] you owned the receipt of. The other which wasdelivered into your own hands,** was so pressing for the favour of a linefrom you, that I am amazed I could not be obliged; and still more, that Ihave not heard from you since.
* See Vol. V. Letter XX.** See Vol. VI. Letter VII.
The fellow made so strange a story of the condition he saw you in, andof your speech to him, that I know not what to conclude from it: only,that he is a simple, blundering, and yet conceited fellow, who, aimingat description, and the rustic wonderful, gives an air of bumkinlyromance to all he tells. That this is his character, you will believe,when you are informed that he described you in grief excessive,* yet soimproved in your person and features, and so rosy, that was his word,in your face, and so flush-coloured, and so plump in your arms, thatone would conclude you were labouring under the operation of somemalignant poison; and so much the rather, as he was introduced to you,when you were upon a couch, from which you offered not to rise, or situp.
* See Vol. VI. Letter VI.
Upon my word, Miss Harlowe, I am greatly distressed upon your account;for I must be so free as to say, that in your ready return with yourdeceiver, you have not at all answered my expectations, nor acted up toyour own character; for Mrs. Townsend tells me, from the women atHampstead, how cheerfully you put yourself into his hands again: yet, atthe time, it was impossible you should be married!--
Lord, my dear, what pity it is, that you took much pains to get fromthe man!--But you know best!--Sometimes I think it could not be you towhom the rustic delivered my letter. But it must too: yet, it is strangeI could not have one line by him:--not one:--and you so soon well enoughto go with the wretch back again!
I am not sure that the letter I am now writing will come to your hands:so shall not say half that I have upon my mind to say. But, if youthink it worth your while to write to me, pray let me know what fineladies his relations those were who visited you at Hampstead, and carriedyou back again so joyfully to a place that I had so fully warned you.--But I will say no more: at least till I know more: for I can do nothingbut wonder and stand amazed.
Notwithstanding all the man's baseness, 'tis plain there was more thana lurking love--Good Heaven!--But I have done!--Yet I know not how tohave done neither!--Yet I must--I will.
Only account to me, my dear, for what I cannot at all account for: andinform me, whether you are really married, or not.--And then I shallknow whether there must or must not, be a period shorter than that ofone of our lives, to a friendship which has hitherto been the pride andboast of
YourANNA HOWE.
***
Dorcas tells me, that she has just now had a searching conversation, asshe calls it, with her lady. She is willing, she tells the wench, stillto place her confidence in her. Dorcas hopes she has re-assured her: butwishes me not to depend upon it. Yet Captain Tomlinson's letter mustassuredly weigh with her.
I sent it in just now by Dorcas, desiring her to re-peruse it. And itwas not returned me, as I feared it would be. And that's a good sign,I think.
I say I think, and I think; for this charming creature, entangled as Iam in my own inventions, puzzles me ten thousand times more than I her.