LETTER XXIV
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWETHURSDAY MORN. JUNE* 20.
* Text error: should be JULY.
What, my dearest creature, have been your sufferings!--What must havebeen your anguish on so disgraceful an insult, committed in the openstreets, and in the broad day!
No end, I think, of the undeserved calamities of a dear soul, who hadbeen so unhappily driven and betrayed into the hands of a vile libertine!--How was I shocked at the receiving of your letter written by anotherhand, and only dictated by you!--You must be very ill. Nor is it to bewondered at. But I hope it is rather from hurry, and surprise, andlowness, which may be overcome, than from a grief given way to, which maybe attended with effects I cannot bear to think of.
But whatever you do, my dear, you must not despond! Indeed you must notdespond! Hitherto you have been in no fault: but despair would be allyour own: and the worst fault you can be guilty of.
I cannot bear to look upon another hand instead of your's. My dearcreature, send me a few lines, though ever so few, in your own hand, ifpossible.--For they will revive my heart; especially if they can acquaintme of your amended health.
I expect your answer to my letter of the 13th. We all expect it withimpatience.
His relations are persons of so much honour--they are so very earnest torank you among them--the wretch is so very penitent: every one of hisfamily says he is--your own are so implacable--your last distress, thoughthe consequence of his former villany, yet neither brought on by hisdirection nor with his knowledge; and so much resented by him--that mymother is absolutely of opinion that you should be his--especially if,yielding to my wishes, as expressed in my letter, and those of all hisfriends, you would have complied, had it not been for this horrid arrest.
I will enclose the copy of the letter I wrote to Miss Montague lastTuesday, on hearing that nobody knew what was become of you; and theanswer to it, underwritten and signed by Lord M., Lady Sarah Sadleir, andLady Betty Lawrance, as well as by the young Ladies; and also by thewretch himself.
I own, that I like not the turn of what he has written to me; and, beforeI will further interest myself in his favour, I have determined to informmyself, by a friend, from his own mouth, of his sincerity, and whetherhis whole inclination be, in his request to me, exclusive of the wishesof his relations. Yet my heart rises against him, on the suppositionthat there is the shadow of a reason for such a question, the woman MissClarissa Harlowe. But I think, with my mother, that marriage is now theonly means left to make your future life tolerably easy--happy there isno saying.--His disgraces, in that case, in the eye of the world itself,will be more than your's: and, to those who know you, glorious will beyour triumph.
I am obliged to accompany my mother soon to the Isle of Wight. My auntHarman is in a declining way, and insists upon seeing us both--and Mr.Hickman too, I think.
His sister, of whom we had heard so much, with her lord, were broughtt'other day to visit us. She strangely likes me, or says she does.
I can't say but that I think she answers the excellent character we heardof her.
It would be death to me to set out for the little island, and not see youfirst: and yet my mother (fond of exerting an authority that she herself,by that exertion, often brings into question) insists, that my next visitto you must be a congratulatory one as Mrs. Lovelace.
When I know what will be the result of the questions to be put in my nameto that wretch, and what is your mind on my letter of the 13th, I shalltell you more of mine.
The bearer promises to make so much dispatch as to attend you this veryafternoon. May he return with good tidings to
Your ever affectionateANNA HOWE.