Read Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 9 Page 15
LETTER XV
TO THE EVER-HONOURED MRS. HARLOWE
HONOURED MADAM,
The last time I had the boldness to write to you, it was with all theconsciousness of a self-convicted criminal, supplicating her offendedjudge for mercy and pardon. I now, by these lines, approach you withmore assurance; but nevertheless with the highest degree of reverence,gratitude, and duty. The reason of my assurance, my letter to my papawill give; and as I humbly on my knees implored his pardon, so now, inthe same dutiful manner, do I supplicate your's, for the grief andtrouble I have given you.
Every vein of my heart has bled for an unhappy rashness; which, (althoughinvoluntary as to the act,) from the moment it was committed, carriedwith it its own punishment; and was accompanied with a true and sincerepenitence.
God, who has been a witness of my distresses, knows that, great as theyhave been, the greatest of all was the distress that I knew I must havegiven to you, Madam, and to my father, by a step that had so very ugly anappearance in your eyes and his; and indeed in the eyes of all my family;a step so unworthy of your daughter, and of the education you had givenher.
But HE, I presume to hope, has forgiven me; and, at the instant this willreach your hands, I humbly trust, I shall be rejoicing in the blessedfruits of his forgiveness. And be this your comfort, my ever-honouredMamma, that the principal end of your pious care for me is attained,though not in the way so much hoped for.
May the grief which my fatal error has given to you both, be the onlygrief that shall ever annoy you in this world!--May you, Madam, long liveto sweeten the cares, and heighten the comforts, of my papa!--May mysister's continued, and, if possible, augmented duty, happily make up toyou the loss you have sustained in me! And whenever my brother and shechange their single state, may it be with such satisfaction to you bothas may make you forget my offence; and remember me only in those days inwhich you took pleasure in me! And, at last, may a happy meeting withyour forgiven penitent, in the eternal mansions, augment the bliss ofher, who, purified by sufferings already, when this salutes your hands,presumes she shall be