LETTER XVIII
TO JOHN AND ANTONY HARLOWE, ESQRS.
HONOURED SIRS,
When these lines reach your hands, your late unhappy niece will haveknown the end of all her troubles; and, as she humbly hopes, will berejoicing in the mercies of a gracious God, who has declared, that hewill forgive the truly penitent of heart.
I write, therefore, my dear uncles, and to you both in one letter (sinceyour fraternal love has made you both but as one person) to give youcomfort, and not distress; for, however sharp my afflictions have been,they have been but of short duration; and I am betimes (happily as Ihope) arrived at the end of a painful journey.
At the same time I write to thank you both for all your kind indulgenceto me, and to beg your forgiveness of my last, my only great fault toyou and to my family.
The ways of Providence are unsearchable. Various are the means made useof by it, to bring poor sinners to a sense of their duty. Some are drawnby love, others are driven by terrors, to their divine refuge. I had foreighteen years out of nineteen, rejoiced in the favour and affection ofevery one. No trouble came near to my heart, I seemed to be one of thosedesigned to be drawn by the silken cords of love.--But, perhaps, I wastoo apt to value myself upon the love and favour of every one: the meritof the good I delighted to do, and of the inclinations which were givenme, and which I could not help having, I was, perhaps, too ready toattribute to myself; and now, being led to account for the cause of mytemporary calamities, find I had a secret pride to be punished for, whichI had not fathomed: and it was necessary, perhaps, that some sore andterrible misfortunes should befall me, in order to mortify that my pride,and that my vanity.
Temptations were accordingly sent. I shrunk in the day of trial. Mydiscretion, which had been so cried up, was found wanting when it came tobe weighed in an equal balance. I was betrayed, fell, and became theby-word of my companions, and a disgrace to my family, which had prideditself in me perhaps too much. But as my fault was not that of aculpable will, when my pride was sufficiently mortified, I was notsuffered (although surrounded by dangers, and entangled in snares) to betotally lost: but, purified by sufferings, I was fitted for the change Ihave NOW, at the time you will receive this, so newly, and, as I humblyhope, so happily experienced.
Rejoice with me, then, dear Sirs, that I have weathered so great a storm.Nor let it be matter of concern, that I am cut off in the bloom of youth.'There is no inquisition in the grave,' says the wise man, 'whether welived ten or a hundred years; and the day of death is better than the dayof our birth.'
Once more, dear Sirs, accept my grateful thanks for all your goodness tome, from my early childhood to the day, the unhappy day, of my error!Forgive that error!--And God give us a happy meeting in a blessedeternity; prays
Your most dutiful and obliged kinswoman,CLARISSA HARLOWE.
Mr. Belford gives the Lady's posthumous letters to Mrs. Hervey, Miss Howe, and Mrs. Norton, at length likewise: but, although every letter varies in style as well as matter from the others; yet, as they are written on the same subject, and are pretty long, it is thought proper to abstract them.
That to her aunt Hervey is written in the same pious and generous strainwith those preceding, seeking to give comfort rather than distress. 'TheAlmighty, I hope,' says she, 'has received and blessed my penitence, andI am happy. Could I have been more than so at the end of what is calleda happy life of twenty, or thirty, or forty years to come? And what aretwenty, or thirty, or forty years to look back upon? In half of any ofthese periods, what friends might not I have mourned for? whattemptations from worldly prosperity might I not have encountered with?And in such a case, immersed in earthly pleasures, how little likelihood,that, in my last stage, I should have been blessed with such apreparation and resignation as I have now been blessed with?'
She proceeds as follows: 'Thus much, Madam, of comfort to you and tomyself from this dispensation. As to my dear parents, I hope they willconsole themselves that they have still many blessings left, which oughtto balance the troubles my error has given them: that, unhappy as I havebeen to be the interrupter of their felicities, they never, till this myfault, know any heavy evil: that afflictions patiently borne may beturned into blessings: that uninterrupted happiness is not to be expectedin this life: that, after all, they have not, as I humbly presume tohope, the probability of the everlasting perdition of their child todeplore: and that, in short, when my story comes to be fully known, theywill have the comfort to find that my sufferings redound more to myhonour than to my disgrace.
'These considerations will, I hope, make their temporary loss of but onechild out of three (unhappily circumstances too as she was) matter ofgreater consolation than affliction. And the rather, as we may hope fora happy meeting once more, never to be separated either by time oroffences.'
She concludes this letter with an address to her cousin Dolly Hervey,whom she calls her amiable cousin; and thankfully remembers for the partshe took in her afflictions.--'O my dear Cousin, let your worthy heart beguarded against those delusions which have been fatal to my worldlyhappiness!--That pity, which you bestowed upon me, demonstrates agentleness of nature, which may possibly subject you to misfortunes, ifyour eye be permitted to mislead your judgment.--But a strict observanceof your filial duty, my dearest Cousin, and the precepts of so prudent amother as you have the happiness to have (enforced by so sad an examplein your own family as I have set) will, I make no doubt, with the Divineassistance, be your guard and security.'
The posthumous letter to Miss Howe is extremely tender and affectionate.She pathetically calls upon her 'to rejoice that all her Clarissa'stroubles are now at an end; that the state of temptation and trial, ofdoubt and uncertainty, is now over with her; and that she has happilyescaped the snares that were laid for her soul; the rather to rejoice,as that her misfortunes were of such a nature, that it was impossibleshe could be tolerably happy in this life.'
She 'thankfully acknowledges the favours she had received from Mrs. Howeand Mr. Hickman; and expresses her concern for the trouble she hasoccasioned to the former, as well as to her; and prays that all theearthly blessings they used to wish to each other, may singly devolveupon her.'
She beseeches her, 'that she will not suspend the day which shall supplyto herself the friend she will have lost in her, and give to herself astill nearer and dearer relation.'
She tells her, 'That her choice (a choice made with the approbation ofall her friends) has fallen upon a sincere, an honest, a virtuous, and,what is more than all, a pious man; a man who, although he admires herperson, is still more in love with the graces of her mind. And as thosegraces are improvable with every added year of life, which will impairthe transitory ones of person, what a firm basis, infers she, has Mr.Hickman chosen to build his love upon!'
She prays, 'That God will bless them together; and that the remembranceof her, and of what she has suffered, may not interrupt their mutualhappiness; she desires them to think of nothing but what she now is; andthat a time will come when they shall meet again, never to be divided.
'To the Divine protection, mean time, she commits her; and charges her,by the love that has always subsisted between them, that she will notmourn too heavily for her; and again calls upon her, after a gentle tear,which she will allow her to let fall in memory of their uninterruptedfriendship, to rejoice that she is so early released; and that she ispurified by her sufferings, and is made, as she assuredly trusts, byGod's goodness, eternally happy.'
The posthumous letters to Mr. LOVELACE and Mr. MORDEN will be inserted hereafter: as will also the substance of that written to Mrs. Norton.