LETTER XLVI
COLONEL MORDEN, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.TUESDAY, SEPT. 26.
DEAR SIR,
I cannot help congratulating myself as well as you that we have alreadygot through with the family every article of the will where they have anyconcern.
You left me a discretional power in many instances; and, in pursuance ofit, I have had my dear cousin's personal jewels, and will account to youfor them, at the highest price, when I come to town, as well as for othermatters that you were pleased to intrust to my management.
These jewels I have presented to my cousin Dolly Hervey, inacknowledgement of her love to the dear departed. I have told Miss Howeof this; and she is as well pleased with what I have done as if she hadbeen the purchaser of them herself. As that young lady has jewels of herown, she could only have wished to purchase these because they were herbeloved friend's.--The grandmother's jewels are also valued; and themoney will be paid me for you, to be carried to the uses of the will.
Mrs. Norton is preparing, by general consent, to enter upon her office ashousekeeper at The Grove. But it is my opinion that she will not be longon this side Heaven.
I waited upon Miss Howe myself, as I told you I would, with what wasbequeathed to her and her mother. You will not be displeased, perhaps,if I make a few observations with regard to that young lady, so dear tomy beloved cousin, as you have not a personal acquaintance with her.
There never was a firmer or nobler friendship in women, than between mydear cousin and Miss Howe, to which this wretched man had given a period.
Friendship, generally speaking, Mr. Belford, is too fervent a flame forfemale minds to manage: a light that but in few of their hands burnssteady, and often hurries the sex into flight and absurdity. Like otherextremes, it is hardly ever durable. Marriage, which is the higheststate of friendship, generally absorbs the most vehement friendships offemale to female; and that whether the wedlock be happy, or not.
What female mind is capable of two fervent female friendships at the sametime?--This I mention as a general observation; but the friendship thatsubsisted between these two ladies affords a remarkable exception to it:which I account for from those qualities and attainments in both, which,were they more common, would furnish more exceptions still in favour ofthe sex.
Both had an enlarged, and even a liberal education: both had mindsthirsting after virtuous knowledge; great readers both; great writers--[and early familiar writing I take to be one of the greatest openers andimprovers of the mind that man or woman can be employed in.] Bothgenerous. High in fortune, therefore above that dependence each on theother that frequently destroys that familiarity which is the cement offriendship. Both excelling in different ways, in which neither soughtto envy the other. Both blessed with clear and distinguishing faculties;with solid sense; and, from their first intimacy, [I have many of mylights, Sir, from Mrs. Norton,] each seeing something in the other tofear, as well as to love; yet making it an indispensable condition oftheir friendship, each to tell the other of her failings; and to bethankful for the freedom taken. One by nature gentle; the other made soby her love and admiration of her exalted friend--impossible that therecould be a friendship better calculated for duration.
I must, however, take the liberty to blame Miss Howe for her behaviourto Mr. Hickman. And I infer from it, that even women of sense are notto be trusted with power.
By the way, I am sure I need not desire you not to communicate to thisfervent young lady the liberties I have taken with her character.
I dare say my cousin could not approve of Miss Howe's behaviour to thisgentleman; a behaviour which is talked of by as many as know Mr. Hickmanand her. Can a wise young lady be easy under such censure? She mustknow it.
Mr. Hickman is really a very worthy man. Every body speaks well of him.But he is gentle-dispositioned, and he adores Miss Howe; and love admitsnot of an air of even due dignity to the object of it. Yet will Mr.Hickman hardly ever get back the reins he has yielded up; unless she, bycarrying too far the power of which she seems at present too sensible,should, when she has no favours to confer which he has not a right todemand, provoke him to throw off the too-heavy yoke. And should he doso, and then treat her with negligence, Miss Howe, of all the women Iknow, will be the least able to support herself under it. She will thenbe more unhappy than she ever made him; for a man who is uneasy at home,can divert himself abroad; which a woman cannot so easily do, withoutscandal.--Permit me to take farther notice, as to Miss Howe, that it isvery obvious to me, that she has, by her haughty behaviour to this worthyman, involved herself in one difficulty, from which she knows not how toextricate herself with that grace which accompanies all her actions. Sheintends to have Mr. Hickman. I believe she does not dislike him. And itwill cost her no small pains to descend from the elevation she hasclimbed to.
Another inconvenience she will suffer from her having taught every body(for she is above disguise) to think, by her treatment of Mr. Hickman,much more meanly of him than he deserves to be thought of. And must shenot suffer dishonour in his dishonour?
Mrs. Howe is much disturbed at her daughter's behaviour to the gentleman.He is very deservedly a favourite of her's. But [another failing in MissHowe] her mother has not all the authority with her that a mother oughtto have. Miss Howe is indeed a woman of fine sense; but it requires ahigh degree of good understanding, as well as a sweet and gentledisposition of mind, and great discretion, in a child, when grown up, tolet it be seen, that she mingles reverence with her love, to a parent,who has talents visibly inferior to her own.
Miss Howe is open, generous, noble. The mother has not any of her finequalities. Parents, in order to preserve their children's veneration forthem, should take great care not to let them see any thing in theirconduct, or behaviour, or principles, which they themselves would notapprove of in others.
Mr. Hickman has, however, this consideration to comfort himself with,that the same vivacity by which he suffers, makes Miss Howe's own mother,at times, equally sensible. And as he sees enough of this beforehand, hewill have more reason to blame himself than the lady, should she prove aslively a wife as she was a mistress, for having continued his addresses,and married her, against such threatening appearances.
There is also another circumstance which good-natured men, who engagewith even lively women, may look forward to with pleasure; a circumstancewhich generally lowers the spirits of the ladies, and domesticates them,as I may call it; and which, as it will bring those of Mr. Hickman andMiss Howe nearer to a par, that worthy gentleman will have double reason,when it happens, to congratulate himself upon it.
But after all, I see that there is something so charmingly brilliant andfrank in Miss Howe's disposition, although at present visibly overcloudedby grief, that it is impossible not to love her, even for her failings.She may, and I hope she will, make Mr. Hickman an obliging wife. And ifshe does, she will have additional merit with me; since she cannot beapprehensive of check or controul; and may therefore, by her generosityand prudence, lay an obligation upon her husband, by the performance ofwhat is no more than her duty.
Her mother both loves and fears her. Yet is Mrs. Howe also a woman ofvivacity, and ready enough, I dare say, to cry out when she is pained.But, alas! she has, as I hinted above, weakened her authority by thenarrowness of her mind.
Yet once she praised her daughter to me with so much warmth for thegenerosity of her spirit, that had I not known the old lady's character,I should have thought her generous herself. And yet I have alwaysobserved, that people of narrow tempers are ready to praise generousones:--and thus have I accounted for it--that such persons generally findit to their purpose, that all the world should be open-minded butthemselves.
The old lady applied herself to me, to urge to the young one the contentsof the will, in order to hasten her to fix a day for her marriage; butdesired that I would not let Miss Howe know that she did.
I took the liberty upon it to tell Miss Howe that I hoped that her partof a
will, so soon, and so punctually, in almost all its other articles,fulfilled, would not be the only one that would be slighted.
Her answer was, she would consider of it: and made me a courtesy withsuch an air, as showed me that she thought me more out of my sphere, thanI could allow her to think me, had I been permitted to argue the pointwith her.
I found Miss Howe and her own servant-maid in deep mourning. This, itseems, had occasioned a great debate at first between her mother and her.Her mother had the words of the will on her side; and Mr. Hickman'sinterest in her view; her daughter having said that she would wear it forsix months at least. But the young lady carried her point--'Strange,'said she, 'if I, who shall mourn the heavy, the irreparable loss to thelast hour of my life, should not show my concern to the world for a fewmonths!'
Mr. Hickman, for his part, was so far from uttering an opposing word onthis occasion, that, on the very day that Miss Howe put on her's, hewaited on her in a new suit of mourning, as for a near relation. Hisservants and equipage made the same respectful appearance.
Whether the mother was consulted by him in it, I cannot say; but thedaughter knew nothing of it, till she saw him in it; she looked at himwith surprise, and asked him for whom he mourned?
The dear, and ever-dear Miss Harlowe, he said.
She was at a loss, it seems. At last--All the world ought to mourn formy Clarissa, said she; But whom, man, [that was her whimsical address tohim,] thinkest thou to oblige by this appearance?
It is more than appearance, Madam. I love not my own sister, worthy asshe is, better than I loved Miss Clarissa Harlowe. I oblige myself byit. And if I disoblige not you, that is all I wish.
She surveyed him, I am told, from head to foot. She knew not, at first,whether to be angry or pleased.--At length, 'I thought at first,' saidshe, 'that you might have a bolder and freer motive--but (as my Mammasays) you may be a well-meaning man, though generally a littlewrong-headed--however, as the world is censorious, and may think usnearer of kin than I would have it supposed, I must take care that I amnot seen abroad in your company.'
But let me add, Mr. Belford, that if this compliment of Mr. Hickman (orthis more than compliment, as I may call it, since the worthy man speaksnot of my dear cousin without emotion) does not produce a short day, Ishall think Miss Howe has less generosity in her temper than I am willingto allow her.
You will excuse me, Mr. Belford, for the particularities which youinvited and encouraged. Having now seen every thing that relates to thewill of my dear cousin brought to a desirable issue, I will set aboutmaking my own. I shall follow the dear creature's example, and give myreasons for every article, that there may be no room forafter-contention.
What but a fear of death, a fear unworthy of a creature who knows that hemust one day as surely die as he was born, can hinder any one from makingsuch a disposition?
I hope soon to pay my respects to you in town. Mean time, I am, withgreat respect, dear Sir,
Your faithful and affectionate humble servant,WM. MORDEN.