~*~*~*~
At first, I was standing next to Yami and waiting for Luna to start her kata. Surely she knows what kata is, Yami seemed worried that she didn't. I know we've only been at the Kitsune Clan for a month, but Akira wouldn't have told Luna to do it if she didn't know otherwise. Right?
Before I could watch the little girl's performance, I felt my wrist being tugged and the next thing I knew, I was away from the rings and towards the corner of the large room. The noise from the crowd muffled, and it was just me and the person who decided to drag me across the room.
“Nigaru-San,” I said.
Hanran towered over me with his superior height; 6'1” compared to my 5'6”. He crossed his arms and leaned his side against the wall. “Cassie-Chan.”
It was more than surprising for a guy like Hanran Nigaru to pull me off to the side. He intimidates me, although I've never admitted this to anyone else. He acts very cold at times; days will pass and he'll say nothing to me or the others, let alone look in our direction.
However, when he did talk, he would usually say something to me and not our other four teammates. Why he decides to speak to me, I have no clue. I usually end up sounding like a big dork.
Like right now. Here I am, shaking with nerves to the point where my knees may buckle. Hanran just went out there and performed in front the judges like it was nothing. He must think I'm ridiculous for being so hung up and not doing the same as him.
Hanran stared at me while relaxed against the wall. He was so polar opposite of me, so kept together and relaxed. “How do you do it?” I asked him with an exasperated breath.
Thankfully, he didn't need to ask me 'do what', he knew what I was referring to. “Never let your enemy see your weakness,” he answered.
Did Hanran pull me away from the crowd just to tell me that?
“They're not my enemies,” I objected in a very low tone of voice.
Hanran smirked. It wasn't a nice one. “Everyone is your enemy.”
I bowed my head low, that way my messy bangs could cover my eyes. I don't know how Hanran knew so much about the shinobi clans, I don't know why he's so skilled in his art, and I have absolutely no clue about his life before coming to the Kitsune Clan. He was a dangerous guy, even if he was my teammate. It was almost strange to think that someone who was just a year older than me at seventeen could be so mysterious. What kind of past does Hanran Nigaru have?
“You're not my enemy,” I finally said, “Yami-San isn't my enemy. Luna isn't my enemy. Tabby-Chan, Kaze-San, Sensei Akira, Sensei Shinichi... they're not my enemies.”
Hanran's narrowed gaze never lost composure. “Not in a game like this.”
I caught on to the choice of words he used. “Game?”
“Yes. That's what all of this is, Cassie-Chan. A game. Competing, performing, judges, scoring... it's all a game.” Hanran spoke very gravely. His body language matched his words, too. His arms remained crossed and his jaw was tightly set.
Well, if this is all a game, then surely Hanran must think I'm a ridiculous fool. Because that means I'm letting myself get worked up all over a game, or so he puts it.
“So that's why you've been so reserved today,” I guessed aloud.
Hanran shrugged. “I'm in a room full of people I don't know and I don't trust. They're all capable of something, especially this bunch.”
“What do you think will happen?”
“Anything,” he deadpanned.
His answer didn't satisfy anything I asked. I let out another sigh. The anxiety was still there inside of me. How is it that Hanran thinks all of this as a game? We traveled all the way to the Black-Sho Clan for Battle Month! This has to be more than a game.
“Cassie-Chan, lean against the wall,” Hanran ordered me out-of-the-blue. He did more than that, he reached forward, grabbed both my shoulders, and placed me against the wall to lean on. That was even more surprising than him wanting to talk to me. Hanran was not a guy who liked to be touched or invaded upon. He not only liked his space, he demanded it. No one got close to him. No one.
Yet, here we were, both of us side-by-side against the wall.
“Thanks,” I told him. I felt more and more like a dork with each passing second. As mean as this sounds, I sort of wish Hanran would go away. I don't want him to see me so wound up. Those bright green eyes of his wouldn't stop staring at me. “Okay!” I then exclaimed, “why is it just a game? How did you conclude that?”
Hanran smirked. I think he was pleased that I finally cracked and asked him the question. “Well it's not real, is it?” he retorted.
“Huh?”
Now the older boy had amusement in his eyes. “This isn't real, Cassie-Chan. You're performing for a score. You're not out to defend yourself. That's the whole point of Ninjutsu, isn't it? Self-defense, fighting for your life, being able to handle yourself in battle. That's what makes a true shinobi. You think a score of 9.9 means anything in a real battle?”
His words cut me deep, like a knife slicing into softened butter. I didn't know what to say and those eyes of his only magnified his point. “Not really,” I mumbled. I steadied myself against the wall so I could face him better. “I mean, I guess this whole thing is a game... when you put it that way.”
Hanran's smirk returned. “That's how I look at it.”
“So that's why you were so cool about using your kusari-gama? That's why you're so cool about sparring? You know, just cool?”
It occurred to me that I just called Hanran “cool” in the dorkiest way possible. Way to go, I grumbled to myself.
He nodded. “All fun and games, Cassie-Chan.”
“This is fun?” I asked him. I had a small quivering smile on my face. It was a genuine smile, however, the first one I've meant to do this whole day.
At that, Hanran chuckled once. “Personally, this is a waste of time to me. I would rather spend my Saturday training at the clan, working on things I'd use in real life, for real battles. I don't want to be here, either.”
Today must be the day that Hanran has decided he'll speak consecutively to me. This was the first time that he's opened up and told me what his opinions were. And here's the kicker, he did it on his own. I didn't ask him to tug me off to the sidelines!
Dreaded heat flushed to my cheeks. I was blushing. Surely Hanran noticed, he notices everything. “Er, well, thanks,” I mumbled to him. I made sure to look down at my feet. “If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to talk to me to begin with? I didn't take you for a motivator.”
Hanran chuckled a second time. “What was your first clue?” he asked rhetorically. He answered my question. “Truthfully, Cassie-Chan, I'm interested to see you perform.”
I wasn't expecting that answer from him!
“Really?” I asked. My blushing probably deepened in color, I felt my cheeks burn hotter.
“Yup.” That was all he said.
“Why?” I pressed.
Hanran shook his head. “I think you'll do well. Now I'm interested to see if I'm right.” He stopped leaning against the wall and uncrossed his arms. “I'm usually right.”
After saying that, Hanran walked away, leaving me against the wall and alone with my thoughts.