Page 25
Will looked at her, his blue eyes quizzical, his mouth just beginning to quirk up in a grin. "I must be more amusing than I thought. Which would make me very amusing indeed. "
"Im not laughing at you," she told him in between giggles. "Just-Oh! The look on Gabriels face when Sophie slapped him. My goodness. " She pushed her hair out of her face and said, "I really shouldnt be laughing. Half the reason he was so awful was your goading him. I should be angry with you. "
"Oh, should," said Will, spinning away to drop into a chair near the fire, and stretching out his long legs toward the flames. Like every room in England, Tessa thought, it was chil y in here except just in front of the fire. One roasted in the front and froze in the back, like a badly cooked turkey. "No good sentences ever include the word should. I should have paid the tavern bil ; now theyre coming to break my legs. I should never have run off with my best friends wife; now she devils me constantly. I should-"
"You should," Tessa said softly, "think about the way the things you do affect Jem. "
Will rol ed his head back against the leather of the chair and regarded her.
He looked drowsy and tired and beautiful. He could have been some Pre- Raphaelite Apol o. "Is this a serious conversation now, Tess?" His voice stil held humor but was edged, like a gold blade edged in razored steel.
Tessa came and sat down in the armchair across from his. "Arent you worried that hes cross with you? Hes your parabatai. And hes Jem. Hes never cross. "
"Perhaps its better that hes cross with me," said Will. "So much saintlike patience cannot be good for anyone. "
"Do not mock him. " Tessas tone was sharp.
"Nothing is beyond mockery, Tess. "
"Jem is. He has always been good to you. He is nothing but goodness.
That he hit you last night, that only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness. "
"Jem hit me?" Will, fingering his cheek, looked amazed. "I must confess, I remember very little of last night. Only that the two of you woke me, though I very much wanted to stay asleep. I remember Jem shouting at me, and you holding me. I knew it was you. You always smel of lavender. "
Tessa ignored this. "Well, Jem hit you. And you deserved it. "
"You do look scornful-rather like Raziel in all those paintings, as if he were looking down on us. So tell me, scornful angel, what did I do to deserve being hit in the face by James?"
Tessa reached for the words, but they eluded her; she turned to the language she and Will shared-poetry. "You know, in that essay of Donnes, what he says-"
"License my roving hands, and let them go?" quoted Will, eyeing her.
"I meant the essay about how no man is an island. Everything you do touches others. Yet you never think about it. You behave as if you live on some sort of-of Will island, and none of your actions can have any consequences. Yet they do. "
"How does my going to a warlock den affect Jem?" Will inquired. "I suppose he had to come and haul me out, but hes done more dangerous things in the past for me. We protect each other-"
"No, you dont," Tessa cried in frustration. "Do you think he cares about the danger? Do you? His whole life has been destroyed by this drug, this yin fen, and there you go off to a warlock den and drug yourself up as if it doesnt even matter, as if its just a game to you. He has to take this foul stuff every day just so he can live, but in the meantime its kil ing him. He hates to be dependent on it. He cant even bring himself to buy it; he has you do that. "
Will made a sound of protest, but Tessa held up a hand. "And then you swan down to Whitechapel and throw your money at the people who make these drugs and addict other people to them, as if it were some sort of holiday on the Continent for you. What were you thinking?"
"But it had nothing to do with Jem at all -"
"You didnt think about him," said Tessa. "But perhaps you should have.
Dont you understand he thinks you made a mockery out of whats kil ing him? And youre supposed to be his brother. "
Will had whitened. "He cant think that. "
"He does," she said. "He understands you dont care what other people think about you. But I believe he always expected youd care what he thought.
What he felt. "
Will leaned forward. The firelight made odd patterns against his skin, darkening the bruise on his cheek to black. "I do care what other people think," he said with a surprising intensity, staring into the flames. "Its all I think about-what others think, what they feel about me, and I about them; it drives me mad. I wanted escape-"
"You cant mean that. Will Herondale, minding what others think of him?"
Tessa tried to make her voice as light as possible. The look on his face startled her. It was not closed but open, as if he were caught half-entangled in a thought he desperately wanted to share, but could not bear to. This is the boy who took my private letters and hid them in his room, she thought, but she could work up no anger about it. She had thought she would be furious when she saw him again, but she was not, only puzzled and wondering.
Surely it showed a curiosity about other people that was quite un-Wil -like, to want to read them in the first place?
There was something raw in his face, his voice. "Tess," he said. "That is all I think about. I never look at you without thinking about what you feel about me and fearing-"
He broke off as the drawing room door opened and Charlotte came in, fol owed by a tal man whose bright blond hair shone like a sunflower in the dim light. Will turned away quickly, his face working. Tessa stared at him.
What had he been going to say?
"Oh!" Charlotte was clearly startled to see them both. "Tessa, Will -I didnt realize you were in here. "
Will s hands were in fists at his sides, his face in shadow, but his voice was level when he replied: "We saw the fire going. Its as chil as ice in the rest of the house. "
Tessa stood up. "Wel just be on our way-"
"Wil Herondale, excel ent to see you looking well. And Tessa Gray!" The blond man broke away from Charlotte and came toward Tessa, beaming as if he knew her. "The shape-changer, correct? Enchanted to meet you. What a curiosity. "
Charlotte sighed. "Mr. Woolsey Scott, this is Miss Tessa Gray. Tessa, this is Mr. Woolsey Scott, head of the London werewolf pack, and an old friend of the Clave. "
"Very well, then," said Gideon as the door shut behind Tessa and Will. He turned toward Sophie, who was suddenly acutely aware of the largeness of the room, and how smal she felt inside it. "Shal we continue with the training?"
He held out a knife to her, shining like a silver wand in the rooms dimness.
His green eyes were steady. Everything about Gideon was steady-his gaze, his voice, the way he held himself. She remembered what it felt like to have those steady arms around her, and shivered involuntarily. She had never been alone with him before, and it frightened her. "I dont think my heart would be in it, Mr. Lightwood," she said. "I appreciate the offer all the same, but . . . "
He lowered his arm slowly. "You think that I dont take training you seriously?"
"I think youre being very generous. But I ought to face facts, oughtnt I? This training was never about me or Tessa. It was about your father and the Institute. And now that Ive slapped your brother-" She felt her throat tighten.
"Mrs. Branwel would be so disappointed in me if she knew. "
"Nonsense. He deserved it. And the little matter of the blood feud between our families does come to mind. " Gideon spun the silver knife carelessly about his finger and thrust it through his belt. "Charlotte would probably give you a rise in salary if she knew. "
Sophie shook her head. They were only a few steps from a bench; she sank down onto it, feeling exhausted. "You dont know Charlotte. Shed feel honor-bound to discipline me. "
Gideon settled himself on the bench-not beside her, but against the far side of it, as distant from her as he could get. Sophie couldnt decide whether she was pleased about that or not. "Mis
s Col ins," he said. "There is something you ought to know. "
She laced her fingers together. "What is that?"
He leaned forward a little, his broad shoulders hunched. She could see the flecks of gray in his green eyes. "When my father called me back from Madrid," he said, "I did not want to come. I had never been happy in London.
Our house has been a miserable place since my mother died. "
Sophie just stared at him. She could think of no words. He was a Shadowhunter and a gentleman, and yet he seemed to be unburdening his soul to her. Even Jem, for all his gentle kindness, had never done that.
"When I heard about these lessons, I thought they would be a dreadful waste of my time. I pictured two very sil y girls uninterested in any sort of instruction. But that describes neither Miss Gray nor yourself. I should tell you, I used to train younger Shadowhunters in Madrid. And there were quite a few of them who didnt have the same native ability that you do. Youre a talented student, and its a pleasure to teach you. "
Sophie felt herself flush scarlet. "You cant be serious. "
"I am. I was pleasantly surprised the first time I came here, and again so the next time and the next. I found that I was looking forward to it. In fact, it would be fair to say that since my return home, I have hated everything in London except these hours here, with you. "
"But you said ay Dios mio every time I dropped my dagger-"
He grinned. It lit up his face, changed it. Sophie stared at him. He was not beautiful like Jem was, but he was very handsome, especial y when he smiled. The smile seemed to reach out and touch her heart, speeding its pace. He is a Shadowhunter, she thought. A nd a gentleman. This is not the way to think about him. Stop it. But she could not stop, any more than she had been able to put Jem out of her mind. Though, where with Jem she had felt safe, with Gideon she felt an excitement like lightning that coursed up and down her veins, shocking her. And yet she did not want to let it go.
"I speak Spanish when Im in a good mood," he said. "You might as well know that about me. "
"So it wasnt that you were so weary of my ineptitude that you were wishing to hurl yourself off the roof?"
"Just the opposite. " He leaned closer to her. His eyes were the green-gray of a stormy sea. "Sophie? Might I ask you something?"
She knew she should correct him, ask him to call her Miss Col ins, but she didnt. "I-yes?"
"Whatever happens with the lessons-might I see you again?"
Will had risen to his feet, but Woolsey Scott was still examining Tessa, his hand under his chin, studying her as if she were something under glass in a natural history exhibit. He was not at all what she would have thought the leader of a pack of werewolves would look like. He was probably in his early twenties, tal but slender to the point of slightness, with blond hair nearly to his shoulders, dressed in a velvet jacket, knee breeches, and a trailing scarf with a paisley print. A tinted monocle obscured one pale green eye. He looked like drawings shed seen in Punch of those who called themselves "aesthetes. "
"Adorable," he pronounced final y. "Charlotte, I insist they stay while we talk. What a charming couple they make. See how his dark hair sets off her pale skin-"
"Thank you," said Tessa, her voice shooting several octaves higher than usual, "Mr. Scott, thats very gracious, but there is no attachment between Will and myself. I dont know what youve heard-"
"Nothing!" he declared, throwing himself into a chair and arranging his scarf around him. "Nothing at all, I assure you, though your blushing belies your words. Come along now, everyone, sit down. Theres no need to be intimidated by me. Charlotte, ring for some tea. Im parched. "
Tessa looked to Charlotte, who shrugged as if to say there was nothing to be done about it. Slowly Tessa sat back down. Will sat as well. She didnt look at him; she couldnt, with Woolsey Scott grinning at them both as if he knew something she didnt know.
"And wheres young Mr. Carstairs?" he inquired. "Adorable boy. Such interesting coloring. And so talented on the violin. Of course, Ive heard Garcin himself play at the Paris Opera, and after that, well, everything simply sounds like coal dust scraping the eardrums. Pity about his il ness. "
Charlotte, who had gone across the room to ring for Bridget, returned and sat down, smoothing her skirts. "In a way, thats what I wanted to speak to you about-"
"Oh, no, no, no. " From nowhere Scott had produced a majolica box, which he waved in Charlottes direction. "No serious discussion, please, until Ive had my tea and a smoke. Egyptian cigar?" He offered her the box. "Theyre the finest available. "
"No, thank you. " Charlotte looked mildly horrified at the idea of smoking a cigar; indeed, it was hard to picture, and Tessa felt Will, beside her, laugh silently. Scott shrugged and went back to his smoking preparations. The majolica box was a clever little thing with compartments for the cigars, tied in a bundle with a silk ribbon, new matches and old, and a place to tap ones ashes. They watched as the werewolf lit his cigar with evident relish, and the sweet scent of tobacco fil ed the room.
"Now," he said. "Tel me how youve been, Charlotte, darling. And that abstracted husband of yours. still wandering around the crypt inventing things that blow up?"
"Sometimes," said Will, "theyre even supposed to blow up. "
There was a rattle, and Bridget arrived with a tea tray, sparing Charlotte the need to answer. She set the tea things down on the inlaid table between the chairs, glancing back and forth anxiously. "Im sorry, Mrs. Branwell. I thought there was only going to be two for tea-"
"Its quite all right, Bridget," said Charlotte, her tone firmly dismissive. "I Will ring for you if we need anything else. "