“He will be,” he said in a confident tone.
“And you know the future now?”
He flinched as if I’d slapped him. Then he leaned back in his chair. “Something like that.” He checked his watch. “Why don’t you finish outlining that last page the way I showed you. I have… a client.”
“Oh.” I pasted on a smile, but I wasn’t feeling it. My cheeks tightened with the need to keep it firmly in place. “Okay, thanks again.”
He stared at me for a few brief seconds before grabbing his bag and walking out the door without a backward glance.
Something was definitely off, but I didn’t have time to process. I had work to do. I kept working on the outline and was about two paragraphs in when I heard the whispers, felt the stares and points.
I looked up.
People were taking pictures of me on their phones.
Others were whispering and laughing.
What had I missed?
As calmly as possible, I grabbed my stuff, shoved it in my backpack, and made my way out of the library.
Leo was in front. “Ready?”
“Huh?”
He shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans. “Knox said you had a few more things to write down, so I was waiting.”
“For what?”
He frowned. “To drive you back to the dorms.”
“But why?”
“Because you shouldn’t have to walk when you have three chivalrous gentlemen willing to give you a ride.” He winked.
“I bet you’ve been waiting all day to use that double entendre.”
“Two days.” He held up two fingers. “Now get in the car, Shower Girl. It’s time to go back to the dorm and cheer up your grumpy roommate.”
“Don’t you mean yours?” I snorted.
“Knox is always grumpy. What else is new?”
But why?
I would also peg him as tortured, confused, and a bit too confident in his sexual abilities.
It bothered me.
I hated that I wanted to figure him out, and I wondered if that was all part of the plan with Knox. Did he tie everyone up in knots? Is that how he got people sucked in to his vortex of moaning and orgasms?
I shivered.
“Chilled?” Leo grinned. “You know a nice hot shower might be in order…”
“Alone,” I clarified. “And maybe.”
“What if you trip?” He pulled down the street and parked in front of our dorm. “I don’t think I could live with myself if anything—” His face paled then he wiped a hand down it as if he’d just said something stupid, like he’d just messed up or committed a crime.
I reached out and touched his arm. “Hey, everything all right?”
His smile was forced. It was the first time I’d noticed that he looked older, more mature than a junior in college, like life had knocked him around a bit.
“Yeah, it has to be, right?”
“Right.” My eyes narrowed. “You know, you don’t have to do the thing around me.”
He cut the engine and turned his full attention to me. “The thing?”
“Yeah.” I unbuckled my seatbelt. “The ‘hey, I’m so sexy it’s hard to keep clothes on, oh, let me touch you just once and stare through you like I’m making love to your soul’ thing.” I shrugged then yawned. I was too tired to help my bad manners. “It’s just me. I’m not a client. You don’t have to do it.”
His expression sobered.
And he looked away from me like I had just offended him.
I reached for him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, you did. You meant every word. Do you think this is an act? Some sort of practiced sexual persona that I have to put on each day like my fucking pants?”
“Uh…” I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. “…no?”
He leaned in until our faces were about a half inch apart; his gaze pinned mine. “What would you say if I told you it took me two hundred and six days to figure out just the right amount of pressure to use against a woman’s mouth?” He tilted his head. “Or the precise moment when a body begs to be touched? Would you believe me? Or say I was full of shit?”
“Both.” I grinned.
He returned my smile. “Thanks for the offer, but honestly, Shower Girl, I don’t know how to be that guy anymore.”
“What guy?”
“The one before her,” he whispered then kissed me on the cheek. “But thank you for believing I could be.”
“I never said—”
“You didn’t have to. It’s in your eyes… I like it, you know. I like the faith you have in me, Finn, especially in Knox. I like that you see past the shit. The problem with that is we’re so deep in it, the only one who doesn’t realize it isn’t real is Knox, and that’s because he’s too busy punishing himself.”
“Why would he do that?”
Leo opened his car door and said over his shoulder, “We all deal with pain in different ways. Some of us walk through it, some let it consume them, and others? They let it play on repeat. It’s called eternal punishment. Hell.”
Chapter Twenty
Knox
I couldn’t sit next to her and not touch her. It had never been a problem before, and now? Now it just made me that much more eager to touch her. But Slater’s eyes… his face…
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Leo had brought her back to the dorm, but she’d left a few hours after that with a friend I didn’t recognize, which made me even more paranoid.
And that was how I ended up across the street from the club.
Sipping fucking green tea and watching the red door like someone who should have a restraining order strapped to his chest.
She’d been in there for two hours.
Hadn’t left yet.
But also wasn’t answering her phone.
As her TA, I had her number.
As her friend, she’d never given it to me.
Probably smart.
I had a thing about seeing my name on girls’ phones. I shuddered and tried to push the memory away as my stomach clenched, but it was too strong.
“Your name!” Slater shouted. “It was your name on that screen! YOU DID THIS!” he roared, throwing the first punch as the police tried to separate us.
As the sound of the coroner zipping up the body bag filled the universe around us.
As my first tear fell.
I tried to shake the memory away. Rein it in. I gritted my teeth and called her cell again. It was close to midnight, a school night. She should be back at the dorm, studying, watching movies, not out partying with God-knew-who from her team.
Finn said he’d only seen blond hair.
Leo had been in the bathroom.
One job. Protect her.
I tossed my tea in the trash then slowly made my way across the street and toward the mocking red door as techno pumped out into the night air. I showed my ID. The burly security guard nodded to me and unhooked the rope. I stepped in, my eyes instantly squinting against the haze of smoke and stage lights. The smell of sweat and nicotine filled the air as bodies ground in a massive wave of soon-to-be one-night stands.
The club was on the small side; it used to be a coffee shop.
The bar stretched out across the left side of the place and had barstools in a semi-circle around it.
It was two steps up from the rest of the floor, giving a good view of the place. I walked over and sat then started surveying all the drunk people dancing.
Where the hell was she?
Damn it, I needed to put a tracker in her shoe or something.
Yeah, that was just what she needed to find, a tracker in her shoe from the guy she’d never even given her number to, the same guy who had her address and GPA. Great. Awesome.
My eyes were starting to water from the smoke when I saw a flash of mocha skin and breasts.
I tried to pry my eyes away from the breasts.
And failed miserably.
A white dress that looked more like athletic tape barely covered them, and it looked like it was missing a good foot from the bottom. If she tripped, she was going to get arrested for public nudity.
“Hey there,” a familiar female voice came from my right.
I barely held my groan in as I slowly turned and eyed Jessica up and down. She was wearing a tight black tank top and black skirt. It was just enough leather to cover tits and ass, but that was it. “Can I help you?”
“Ohh…” She ran a finger lightly down my arm.
I shuddered from the need to brush her off and run.
“I think you have several times already, haven’t you?”
“Jessica…” I said her name smoothly, like I was in control when my heart was hammering against my chest with this need to find Shawn and make sure she was safe. “…this isn’t the time. Besides, you aren’t a client anymore.”
“Your kiss said otherwise,” she teased with a little lick of her cherry-red lips.
Had I really thought she was passably attractive?
Yeah, she had a banging body, but she was possessive, needy.
All the things she’d reported her ex had said to her before he dumped her ass.
Color me fucking shocked.
“Come on, Knox…” She grinned and walked into my personal bubble, which just pissed me off more. “Let’s get out of here.”
“I’ll tell you what.” I eyed the bartender and ordered a beer. Within seconds, I was shoving it in Jessica’s hands. “Drink this, and I’ll try to make it back before you’re finished.”
Her eyes lit up.
It was a lie.
But I figured the two guys checking out her ass, flanking either side of her trying to be incognito, would be more than happy to take my place. I gave one of them a wink and tipped her into his arms before saying my goodbye and bolting toward the dance floor.
He was probably sainting me in his head right about now.
And another life changed—or ruined — however you wanted to look at it, since it was Jessica I was giving him, but whatever.
I eyed the dance floor as women started bumping and grinding around me. Somehow, my bun was grabbed, my hair pulled. I was almost stripped out of my leather jacket by the time I made it to Shawn, who was dizzily holding her head in place as if it was going to fall off while people danced around her.
“Hey!” I yelled.
She didn’t look up.
I tapped her on the shoulder.
Her pupils were pinpoints.
My body felt weak.
Too similar.
Damn Slater for putting it in my head, for feeding my paranoia in such a horrible way.
Pain sliced through my chest as I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into the protection of my body, yelling in her ear, “We should get you home.”
She nodded, her breath coming out slow as she slurred, “I don’t know what happened. I had two drinks, just two…” She was heavy against me.
“You sure?” I heaved her into my arms and walked her to the outskirts of the dance floor. “Did anyone give you a drink?”
She giggled a bit. “Well, yeah, but that’s the point… I had a hard day, you know? Because of the texts…”
“Texts?” I repeated. “What texts?”
“About you… and me…”
I smirked. “You and me? What about us?”
“And Leo and Finn.” She yawned and patted my chest. “They said I was the new slutty transfer, and there was a picture of us kissing at the frat party then somehow, one of me in Leo’s car and—”
Rage filled me, hot and quick. I’d always wondered when it would happen, when someone would get so resentful of us befriending another girl that they’d start shit again.
It’s why we kept our SHIT off campus.
Hell.
This was all Leo’s and Finn’s fault.
And mine.
We’d been so starved for something… anything… maybe even redemption… that we’d taken one look at the challenge in front of us and accepted, without even realizing how hard it would be for her.
“Let’s get you in bed first.” I carried her to my car amidst her giggles of being taken to bed then being tickled. By the time we were back on campus, she was crying and telling me a story about her favorite cartoon characters.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
“It’s why I like cheese pizza.” She yawned when we got back to the room.
Leo and Finn were already in bed, the lights down low. With a grunt, I picked her up over my shoulder and knocked on her door.
The door jerked open.
Slater took one look at her and cursed. “Really? What part of ‘stay away’ don’t you understand?”
“She was alone at a club with God-knows-who, and I think she was roofied. Want to keep yelling at me or help?”
Slater’s face paled. He stumbled backward, the memory obviously too much.
I knew that feeling. I was currently battling it like a fucking demon in my own chest.
“I’ve got this,” I said in a low voice. “Go take my bed. I’ll stay up if she needs anything.”
“That’s not your job.” He crossed his arms.
“It isn’t yours either,” I fired back.
We stared each other down for a few more seconds then he was grabbing that damn unicorn, which I still refused to touch, and stomping across the room. He didn’t even knock, just opened up my door while Finn and Leo started cussing for being woken up.
He yelled right back.
They yelled at him some more.
So much yelling.
Then… silence.
I kicked the door shut behind me just as Shawn opened her eyes wide and stumbled to the trash can, puking every part of her insides into the outside.
“What happened?” she asked between heaving. “Two drinks, just two.”
“Drugs,” I guessed. “Who were you with?”
“A friend—” She heaved again. “Can we talk later when I’m not halfway in the trash can with my ass showing?”
Naturally, I looked right at her ass and had to smile at the fact that she wasn’t hysterical, which was what I would have expected, what I was prepared for.
“Yeah, let me grab you some Ibuprofen and Gatorade. You’ll need it. Roofies make you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck.”
She groaned louder.
And for some reason, I liked it.
I hated that she was suffering.
But this feeling? The one where I finally got to play hero instead of villain?
Yeah, a starved man could get used to that sort of feasting.
Chapter Twenty-One
Shawn
I’d been dreaming I was being chased by Slater’s stupid unicorn. At one point, it had caught me and tried to bite down on my ankle, only to stop when I told it I had Skittles.
My heart pounded as I jolted awake.
A heavy arm was draped over me.
I knew that arm.
I traced my fingers down the firm muscle toward the massive shoulder it belonged to then ran my hand through dirty blond hair. It should be a crime to have tresses like that and have a penis. His hair was silky and smooth while still being thick.
I stopped moving my hand, but he grabbed it again and placed it against his head as if he wanted more.
“Please…” he murmured.
I sighed and scratched his head then ran my fingers down his neck. His lips parted. I touched them too, because I was curious, because when his eyes were closed, I could almost believe that he didn’t realize I was touching every inch of his body out of curiosity, but also out of disbelief. This guy here was too much of all the right things to be real.
“How’d you sleep?” Knox’s eyes were still closed as he asked the question.
I sighed against him, not ready to wake up and face the music of last night. “I dreamed that a unicorn was chasing me, and I remember puking out ten pounds of food last night.”
/>
“More like twenty,” he said in a dry tone.
I smacked him on the chest.
He grabbed my hand and held it tight. This time his eyes were open when he whispered, “Never again.”
Shame hit me hard and fast as I ducked my head and licked my lips. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally drink, and after the whole social media shitstorm…”
“You think I’m pissed because you drank?” He frowned.
I nodded, feeling worse.
“Drink, party, explore whatever weird sexual fantasies you have with unicorns.” His lips twitched, his perfect pout was almost irritating. “Just make sure you have a sober buddy with you, all right? And for the record, I’m more than happy to volunteer for the job.”
I scrunched up my nose. “That sounds like the worst job ever for my new friend.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why not me?”
“Well, let’s see… have my TA follow me around while I explore my sexuality with some random stranger…”
His fists clenched.
“…or do it on my own?”
“Not on your own.” He glared. “And I changed my mind. You aren’t exploring anything with anyone, ever.”
“Oh?” I smirked. “Gonna lock me in my room or just order a chastity belt from Amazon? Get it Primed right on over?”
His expression clouded. “You think they have one on Amazon Prime?”
I hit him with one of the pillows, which sent me reeling backward onto the ground in a huff.
He grinned down at me. “I think I’d like to see you all suited up… Think of it as an adventure. The day you find the key you can unlock the treasure.”
I gave him the finger while he howled with laughter.
“You’re impossible,” I grumbled. “And I’ll find another buddy, maybe Leo or Finn wouldn’t mind.”
His expression contorted, and he went ape-shit. “The hell you are! If anyone is going with you, it’s me!”
“But—” Heat rushed into my cheeks. “—it would be weird.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends,” I said in a hollow voice.
Or maybe just because he still intimidates me, and I still taste him on my tongue. Yeah, those reasons too.
Knox sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like you’re hell-bent on exploring your sexuality. You just had a bad day. Won’t happen again.”