Fastening his lap belt, Ben wondered why she hadn't done that. Was it because she hadn't wanted him to get hurt? He shoved down the hope that flared to life within him. No, she would have had to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions about Calvin if she had called the police. This wasn't about protecting him. It was about protecting herself and preventing a scandal.
But even as he thought that, he had a hard time believing it.
"Earlier today, she sent me four cars to settle up what she owes with us. Zec will like them. They should be easy to move." Besian gestured that he was ready to go. "That garage her father built is amazing. Did you know she does all the maintenance herself? She's handy with a wrench and quite a mechanic."
"I didn't know that." His fingers tightened around the wheel as he pulled away from the curb. He didn't know, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know all of her secrets and quirks. He wanted to be the one she whispered her dreams to in the dark and the one she turned to for help. To hear Besian recounting the small and intimate details about the woman he couldn't forget was like a knife to the heart. Of course, a knife would have been kinder and quicker than the torment he now suffered.
"You look like shit. When was the last time you slept?"
Ben shrugged and kept his gaze fixed on the windshield. "A couple of days."
"Four, I would guess," the boss said knowingly. "Not since you left that girl of yours."
"She's not mine." He hated the sullen tone that invaded his voice.
"So I take it you're not planning to pull a Sergei on me and leave me high and dry over some woman?" The story of the Russian enforcer and prize fighter leaving the mob after his woman bought his debt to the family was still the buzz of Houston's underworld. That Nikolai had given his blessing was even more of a shock.
He cast an incredulous look Besian's way. "How could you ask me that? Haven't I always been loyal to you? Haven't I proven that I'll do anything for the family?"
"I've never doubted you." Besian said as they approached a red light. "Not once. Never."
"But?"
"This family," he gestured between them, "can't be a real family to you. We can't give you comfort at night. We can't offer you unconditional love. We can't give you children."
At the mention of children, Ben felt shame. Unable to stop himself, he blurted out, "I wasn't careful with her."
Besian's shocked expression didn't match his cool reply. "I see."
"It just…it happened. I couldn't stop it, and she didn't want to stop it. She looked…happy. She smiled at me, and I could tell that she didn't smile like that for everyone." Rubbing the back of his neck, Ben growled with anger. "I shouldn't have been so irresponsible. Look at me! I know better. I've been that kid."
"Have you talked to her? If she's in trouble—"
"It's too soon to know, but if she is, I'll take care of her." He didn't give a shit about the rules. If Aston was pregnant, he wasn't walking away from her and the baby. Devil would probably maim him if he was forced to fight his way out of the family, but he would survive the beating.
"She can take care of herself, Ben. She's rich. She's powerful. She'll be a CEO soon."
She doesn't need you. The boss wasn't going to come right out and say it, but that's what he meant.
"What do you want, Ben?"
"I don't know," he grumbled. "I thought I had it all figured out, but I don't know anymore." He glanced at Besian. "What do you want?"
"I want it all."
"You can't have it all."
Besian laughed as they glided through the intersection. "Let me guess. Zec?"
"He's right. There are rules in this life."
"And where's the rule that says you have to be miserable and unhappy?" Besian shook his head. "This is my family now. I make the rules. If you want this girl, take her. But," he added with emphasis, "you'll have to give up the shop. I can't risk having you there. On that score, Zec is right. She is too high-profile. We don't need the extra attention on our operation there."
Ben took a moment to really consider it. He could have Aston, if she still wanted him, but he would lose everything he had worked for and built since Besian had put him in the shop at twenty-one. Six years down the drain—for her.
There wasn't even a choice. "I want her."
"Then go fucking get her!"
But what if she doesn't want me? He didn't have the balls to voice that thought aloud. There was only one way to find out and that was to man-up and ask her.
"There aren't any guarantees in life, Arben." The boss didn't often use his full name, but when he did, it was serious so Ben listened carefully. "You hear that shit all the time, you know? No guarantees. Life is too short. But you don't know what that really means until you have a fucking hole in your chest, and you're watching your blood pour out of your body onto the dirt. When you're so weak taking a fucking breath is impossible? When you close your eyes and there's no white light? When all you see is the darkness? You know."
Ben tried to breathe quietly as Besian got whatever the hell this was off his chest.
"I've done things…" His voice trailed off, and he shook his head. "I've hurt people. I've made mistakes, and I've sinned." He rubbed his chest. "I'll pay for all of that someday."
Exhaling roughly, Besian caught and held his gaze. "Don't be me, Arben. Don't wake up at thirty-six and discover how fucking empty your life is. Yes, I have money. I have power. I can snap my fingers and have twelve strippers on their knees if I want them, but that's not what I want."
Ben suspected what the boss really wanted was a certain auburn-haired pawn broker with bright blue eyes and a tangled mess of a family.
"Listen, Ben, if you like this girl, if she makes you happy, if you think she might be something special, claim her. Show her that you can be the man she needs. Be good to her and do right by her."
Signaling the end of the discussion, Besian turned his gaze toward his window. Ben drove the rest of the way in silent contemplation. When they reached the private drive that winded toward Aston's white stone mansion with the slate blue roof, he grew nervous. He touched his cheek and remembered the way she had walloped him in his office. Would she hit him again for running away and not calling her? He deserved it and would gladly accept the sting of a good smack if it meant she would touch him again.
The front door opened as he slowed the car to a stop and Aston walked out of her house with Marley at her side. They were laughing and didn't notice him at first. Aston's smile faded at the sight of her beloved Baby. At the sight of me.
Realizing this wasn't going to be easy, he killed the engine and inhaled a steadying breath before stepping out of the car. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't have anything to offer Aston.
But he had to try.
*
My heart leapt for joy at the sight of Baby rolling to a stop. The sight of Ben, however, crushed me. He hadn't called or visited. He had just…left. After everything we had gone through that night, he had just walked away from me.
"Do you want me to stay?" Marley must have sensed my reluctance to be alone with Ben.
"No, I need to do this. I'll be okay."
She nodded with understanding. "Well, call me if you need to talk. I'll be working late at the shop tonight."
"Alone?" I was scared for her to work alone after she had been kidnapped from the shop.
"I'll be fine." She squeezed my hand. "We have new security." She glanced at Besian. "And other protection."
I hugged her close. "Be careful."
"I will." She stepped back and dug for her keys in her purse. "Let me know if you still want to go see a movie tomorrow night." Her gaze skipped to Ben. "If you change your mind, I'll understand."
"We'll see."
Keys in hand, she headed toward her compact hybrid. She sized up the situation with Ben and Besian and stopped walking. Gesturing toward the mob boss, she asked, "Do you need a ride?"
He seemed surprised by her offer. I could tell h
e wanted to say yes. His body language screamed for her, but he shook his head and declined. "I'll call one of my men to come get me."
"I'm headed to Abby's. I pass by a couple of your clubs on the way. It's no trouble to drop you off at one of them if that's where you're headed." She hesitated. "It's really the least I could do."
The mob boss finally nodded. "I appreciate it."
She smiled nervously and gave him a wide berth on her way to the driver's side. Watching the fearsome man slide into the passenger seat of the shiny little hybrid made me smile. What would his associates say when he was dropped off at one of his strip clubs in that thing?
As Besian and Marley pulled away from the house, I turned my attention to Ben. He stood awkwardly near Baby, the keys clenched in his fist, and gazed at me with such longing that I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around his neck.
Refusing to forgive and forget that easily, I remained cold and aloof as I closed the distance between us. I held out my hand and arched an eyebrow. Ben gently placed the keys on my palm. The touch of his skin against mine sent a delicious arc up my arm and into my chest, but I ignored my body's reaction.
Closing my fingers around the keys, I rather haughtily remarked, "Well, I suppose four days late is better than never."
"I'm sorry." He blew out a noisy breath. "I am sorry, Aston."
"For the car or for running away from me and leaving me with nothing but a note?"
"All of it," he said. "I'm a criminal asshole who doesn't deserve you."
My irritation with him lessened. "After the rough start you had in life, the odds of you ending up on the right side of the law weren't high."
"I could have done better. I should have done better."
"You can change."
He didn't lie to me. "I am what I am, Aston. Sure, maybe, I can get out of the shadiest shit the family does, but I'm in the family until I die. Besian might allow me to fight my way out of the real mobbed-up side of things, but I'll always be under his thumb. Always."
I understood what he was trying to tell me. Still, I needed to know what, exactly, he had done for his family. "Have you ever killed anyone?"
"No. I've never crossed that line. Not even with Calvin," he reminded me. "I haven't ever hit a woman or raped or trafficked. I've hurt people. A lot of people," he added sadly. "I've worked as a bouncer in strip clubs, and I've guarded escorts."
I winced at that revelation. "No more of that, Ben. I mean it."
He swept both hands out in front of him. "Done."
"Look, I'm not naïve. I know that your family comes with you as a packaged deal, but there are other ways for you to be useful to them without being a thief."
His brow furrowed. "How do you figure that?"
"I don't have it totally worked out yet, but I have some ideas. You'll have to trust me."
"I do trust you."
"Then tell me why you ran."
Ben swallowed nervously. He looked as if he wanted to do anything but talk about his feelings. I stood my ground and waited, forcing him to confront whatever it was that had caused him to flee. Finally, he confessed, "I ran because I was scared."
"Of what? Me?"
"I can't have you, but I want you. You're like way up here." His hand rose above his head. "And I'm down there." He scuffed the dirt with the toe of his boot. "I watched you sleep, and I tried to think about how I could be with you, but I didn't have the answer so I took off before it got awkward."
"I would have preferred awkward to the note."
"I know. I should have stayed. I shouldn't have been so afraid to face you, but you make me feel—"
"What?" I asked, anxious to hear the answer. "What do I make you feel?"
He interlaced our fingers and lifted my hand for a kiss. "Hope, Aston. You make me feel hope."
I wasn't silly or romantic enough to think that our future was going to be easy. There were going to be some huge obstacles in our path, but I figured that after surviving that crazy first night together, there wasn't much we couldn’t overcome if we tried.
"Aston?" Ben eyed me cautiously, almost as if he feared I would send him away with his tail tucked between his legs.
Squeezing his hand, I stepped closer and placed my hand on his chest. I enjoyed the feel of all that hard heat beneath my palm and breathed in the wonderful scent of him. "I still owe you six days and six nights as collateral."
Grinning, he slid his hand down the curve of my spine to settle on my backside. He gave me a playful swat. "Yes, you do."
"After that, we'll have to renegotiate our contract."
He let loose an exaggerated groan. "I don't know about that. Besian tells me you're tough."
"I think you're man enough to handle a tough woman."
He laughed and dipped his head to kiss me. "Yes, I am."
I made him work for that kiss, tugging back and evading his mouth until he finally resorted to clasping my nape in his huge hand and holding me still. I melted into his sensual kiss and slid my arms around his waist. When we separated a long time later, I glanced at Baby and smiled. Taking his hand, I tugged him toward her. "Come on. Let's go for a ride."
He planted his feet and shot me a warning look. "Let's try to keep the stunt driving to a minimum tonight."
I rolled my eyes. "Quit whining. Get in."
He smacked my bottom again, hard enough that I yelped. The promising look in his intense gaze sent a swarm of butterflies through my belly. When I slipped behind the wheel, I took a moment to simply enjoy Baby. I ran my hands over her dash and the wheel and tried to memorize the leather scent.
"You really love this car." Ben watched me intently, his expression gentle and understanding.
"Some of my best memories were made in this car. I learned to drive right here on this driveway with Daddy sitting in that seat. I took this car to my first drive-in movie over in Hockley and had my first kiss in it. Marley and I took Baby on our first road trip."
"Where did you go?"
"South Padre Island." I smiled at the memories of that trip. Glancing at Ben, I said, "The last time someone sat in the passenger seat with me was the morning Daddy told me he had pancreatic cancer and that it was too far gone. We sat in here and cried together."
The smile Ben had been mirroring as I told him about the good times deflated as I talked about that awful morning. He reached for my hand and dragged it onto his lap. He held it between both of his big paws. "I'm sorry, Aston. How long ago did he pass?"
"Seven months," I said, still feeling the gaping hole he had left behind in my life. "I miss him so much."
"It gets a little easier," he promised. "Mom has been gone for seven years, and I still choke up when I think about her. I'm not consumed by the grief anymore. It takes time."
"I don't want what Calvin did to ruin everything wonderful that's happened in this car. I don’t want to think about his stupid, mean face every time I slide behind the wheel."
"You won't."
"How can you know that?"
Ben leaned over and kissed me, pressing all the passion he held for me into the mating of our mouths. When he pulled back, he swept his fingers down my face. "Because you and I are going to make so many new memories," he swore. "You, me and Baby? We're going places." That sinful, sexy grin of his made my tummy flutter. His hand cupped my knee and moved slowly up my thigh. "I can think of a few memories I'd like to make tonight."
Swallowing hard, I turned the key in the ignition and smiled when Ben fastened my seat belt for me. As I rolled down the driveway, his rough fingers slipped under my skirt and headed for my panties. I let my thighs fall open and inhaled a shaky breath when his fingers dipped under the sheer lace.
Idling at that first stop sign, I turned into his seeking kiss. His fingertips finally found their mark, and I whimpered. Ben nibbled my lower lip before pulling back to gaze at me with such tenderness. "Where are you taking me?"
"I have no idea," I admitted with a laugh.
He kissed my
neck. "That's okay. As long as we're together, I'm happy."
Infected by Ben's hope for our future, I smiled at him and eased on the gas. I really didn't have any idea where we would end up, but I suspected we were going to enjoy every second of our journey.
***
Aston and Ben's story will continue in COLLATERAL II coming this fall.
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Author's Note
Thanks so much for taking a chance on Aston and Ben's tale! You can catch up with this couple in COLLATERAL II coming Fall 2014.
I get a lot of questions about Besian and Marley, especially after IN JACK'S ARMS where both characters had some interesting interactions. Their story will be told in the upcoming novel PAST DUE coming in Fall 2014. Devil, Zec and the "big" boss out of Tirana will all have books in 2015.
Debt Collection is a spinoff trilogy of my bestselling Her Russian Protector and Fighting Connollys series.
About the Author
I am a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. When I’m not chasing after my wild preschooler, I like to write super sexy romances and scorching hot erotica. I live in Texas with a husband who could easily snag a job as an extra on the History Channel’s new Viking series and a sweet but rowdy four-year-old.
I also have another dirty-book writing alter ego, Lolita Lopez, who writes deliciously steamy scifi and paranormal erotic romance tales for Ellora’s Cave, Forever Yours/Grand Central, Mischief/Harper Collins UK, Siren Publishing and Cleis Press.
You can find me online at www.roxierivera.com.
Backlist
Her Russian Protector Series
Ivan (Her Russian Protector #1)
Dimitri (Her Russian Protector #2)
Yuri (Her Russian Protector #3)
A Very Russian Christmas (Her Russian Protector #3.5)
Nikolai (Her Russian Protector #4)
Sergei (Her Russian Protector #5)
Sergei, Volume 2 (Her Russian Protector #5.5)