****
It was 6:25 when the cab Tim was riding in pulled up in front of Lydia’s restaurant. Tim struggled with his mother’s present, the flowers he picked up at the last minute and his enormous hangover, as he exited the taxi. If anyone had seen Tim two hours ago, they would have been pleasantly surprised by his transformation into his slicked back usual self. He knew his mother was very exacting about dress and decorum for occasions and it would have been an egregious transgression to arrive dressed in anything less than formal attire. So he wore his best black Armani over coat over his custom made dark-grey wool birds-eye suit, with his straight collared pink shirt (his mother’s favorite color) and a red silk tie, and black wingtips. It was raining out, but it wasn’t heavy rain, so Tim hustled under the awning of the restaurant for shelter before entering.
Lydia’s was a small but very expensive Italian restaurant. The décor was old world Italian and very cosy. The place was semi-crowded, but still, Tim was able to spot his mother and sister with relative ease. They were talking animatedly as he approached. The candles on the table highlighted his mother’s deep-amber colored complexion. She was absolutely radiant and it was easy to see how any man could have been enticed by her beauty. Eleanor Russell didn’t look anything near the 50 years she was celebrating tonight. With her slender frame, that looked like it was poured into her one-shoulder deep-pink evening dress and her long black weave parted down the middle, she looked as if she could be the sister to the young woman sitting next to her. Allyson Russell was just as beautiful with her curly sandy blond hair and complexion that was even fairer than Tim’s. Tim knew he was not in his mom’s good graces right now, and his sister, if she was aware of it, was probably trying to add fuel to his mother’s burning resentment. It all made Tim more than a little apprehensive as he approached. He was definitely hoping the night would pass quickly and bring as little conflict as possible.
“Good evening, mom! Happy Birthday!” He said straining to be cheerful while bending over to kiss her on the cheek.
“Hello, Tim.” Eleanor said cordially, if a bit stiffly. However her face began to brighten as she spotted the presents. Presents always had this affect on her. “Are those for me?” she inquired.
“Of course.” he said handing her the flowers and the beautifully wrapped box.
“How lovely. Thank you”, she said as she placed the presents on a cart next to their table “I look forward to opening them after dinner.”
“Hello, Tim”, he heard Allyson snarl at him.
“Hello, Allyson. How are you?” Tim asked without the least trace of emotion.
“Fine, thank you. And you? You look a little thinner than we’re used to”, observed Allyson.
“Yes, Ally. In fact, I’m noticing that now myself. You know he told me earlier that he was sick and I thought he was making an excuse to get out of dinner, but now that I see you I am concerned. I went ahead and ordered the consume for you as I promised.”
“It’s just things have been a little stressful for me lately, that’s all”, explained Tim trying to keep away from the topic of work “But enough about me. How are you, mom?”
“Oh, everything is going so well. And that’s no small thing given everything that’s been going on in the business world these days. I’m not saying that I haven’t had to engage in layoffs to save money, but overall my customer base is stable because the services my firm offers are even more necessary now. And despite the fall of the Dow, Sherman was able to rescue the majority of our financial holdings. I tell you Tim, that man is a more than a genius.”
“I guess that means I still have my trust fund”, joked Allyson.
“At least the modest one that I have for you. The one that your father has been keeping is another story altogether. Thank Goodness Tim was able to get hold of his already.”
“Have you heard from him lately?” asked Tim eagerly.
“Yes. But we’ll talk more about that later. Right now, I want to talk about my trip to Belize”, continued Eleanor bubbling over with child-like excitement.
“Belize?!” questioned Allyson in surprise.
“Yes. Since my firm is doing so well, I thought I would take some time to go on a short vacation. Of all the places I’ve never been, I’ve been hearing from my AKA sisters that it’s the new place to be, especially during the winter. I’m planning to hop down there for the holiday season with Terrence. It will be a wonderful break from the usual cold and dreary New York winter.
“And what about us?” asked Tim.
“What do you mean?” was Eleanor’s reply.
“Did you ever think that maybe you should spend Christmas with your family? After all it is a special day.”
“Well, of course we will be spending Christmas Day together as we always do, just not the days afterward.”
“Fine. Best wishes to you in Belize with your boyfriend”, Tim said in resignation. He realized that it would have been better off this way. Too much time with his family would put him over the edge anyway.
“Mom is allowed to have her own life, Tim”, said Allyson peevishly. Tim knew she didn’t care about their mom one way, or the other. She just didn’t want her own vacation plans interrupted.
“Thank You, Allyson. I’ve spent the past 24 years putting my all into my children. Is it too much, to want to do something for myself now?” said Eleanor almost whining.
“Is dad aware of your plans?” asked Tim. He knew his mother would occasionally have other boyfriends, unbeknownst to his dad. However, she had never been so very public about her dalliances with any of them until now, which made Tim curious.
“That man is no longer a necessary consideration in my life”, Eleanor snapped. “I have tolerated him long enough for your sakes, and now that you are both adults, he has outlived his usefulness. I just hope they have a Four Seasons in Belize.”
“If it’s a civilized place, they should”, commented Allyson.
The waiter appeared with their food. Eleanor had the gnocchi with spinach salad, while Allyson had the spinach lasagna and artichokes. Tim was served his consume as promised. The aroma from the food exacerbated his nausea. It took all his will and then some to keep from heaving at the table. He was also a little unsettled by his mother’s sudden independent spirit concerning his father. It wasn’t long ago that his mother was trying to impress upon him the importance of doing things to please his dad. Most times it seemed that everything he did was to gain the favor of someone who could have cared less. However now she seemed as if she didn’t care one way or the other. The whole thing made him curious as to what had happened to precipitate his mother’s sudden change in attitude.
“You are getting pale, Tim. Eat your soup. It will make you feel better”, Eleanor urged in an attempt to be maternal.
“No, I’d rather have some seltzer water.”
Eleanor waved the waiter over to their table and had him bring Tim some seltzer water.
“You know mom, I’m reporting for the Columbia Spectrum now”, Allyson remarked.
“How nice for you dear. And I was wondering how things were going with rush week. Have you been tapped to pledge AKA?”
“I don’t know if I want to be an AKA.”
“How could you not want to be an AKA! It is an honor that can open many doors!” exclaimed Eleanor in concern.
“Mom, in certain circles… I’ve been hearing that the AKA’s have become very lower class. Nowadays they let in any black girl who has a few dollars and some humanitarian dream. You should have seen them at pledge week. All these burnt ashy looking girls who are likely from the projects. I’m sorry to inform you mother dear, but I think the AKA’s are becoming the laughing stock of our people”, moaned Allyson petulantly.
“I find that extremely hard to believe!” exclaimed Eleanor who felt affronted by her daughter’s claim. “It just may be that particular chapter at your school. I warned you about Columbia. Too many radicals, too many liberals
, and nothing but the riffraff of our race there. It’s the absolute ghetto of all the Ivies.”
“I thought U Penn was supposed to be the ghetto of all the Ivies”, said Tim.
“It is. And Columbia is none other than it’s profligate sister.”
“Why can’t I join one of the other sororities?” Allyson continued to whine.
“You can’t possibly mean Delta? Why on earth would you want to join that sorority?”
“I wasn’t talking about Delta.”
“Well, what other sorority could you be talking about? There are only two African-American sororities at Columbia.”
“What about Kappa Alpha Theta?” appealed Allyson sheepishly.
“Allyson Eleanor Russell, have you lost your mind!” exploded Eleanor suddenly.
“They’ve already contacted me and…”
“So tell them you’re not interested!”
Allyson’s lovely cream-colored complexion turned bright crimson. She bit her lip and looked away from her mother. Then Allyson started picking sesame seeds off the complimentary bread sticks on the table.
“Honestly, I am completely appalled by what I’ve just heard. I can’t believe that you would rather consort with beer-swilling, trailer-trash than with quality people of your own kind! Next thing you know you’ll end up like your brother. Hanging out with plebeian types who are good for nothing except trouble”, Eleanor ranted.
Allyson remained silent, but Tim couldn’t help but be offended.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe people who don’t have a lot of money can still be decent people?” asked Tim defensively.
“Not really as it’s highly unlikely”, his mother replied scornfully.
There was quiet at the table for a few moments. Soon Eleanor’s rage dissipated as quickly as it had materialized and it wasn’t long before she was chatting congenially with Allyson once again about less controversial matters. They spent a good deal of time chatting about procuring tickets for fashion week, and social circle gossip. Tim barely entered into the conversation at all except when asked the brief rhetorical question or to weigh in on some shallow observation. Then the waiter cleared their places and brought in his mother’s birthday cake. It was a seven-layer raspberry filled white cake with white icing, with a Roman numeral birthday candle. Allyson picked out a fruity, Sauternes wine to go with it.
Everyone had some cake, except Tim who had his serving wrapped to take home, and then it was time for Eleanor to open her gifts.
“Let’s see what my wonderful children have gotten me for my birthday.”
“Open mine first, mom” said Allyson practically shoving her gift in her mother’s face.
It was a small box covered with silver wrapping paper and tied with a metallic ribbon. Eleanor opened it to find an exquisite gold heart pendant. Allyson carefully studied her mother’s countenance.
“Oh, it’s lovely Allyson”, Eleanor gasped as her daughter beamed and let out a quiet sigh of relief.
“I got it at Tiffany, of course. They say these necklaces are only to be made for a limited run.”
“It will go well with most of my dresses. It’s beautiful. In fact, help me with it. I’ll put it on right now.”
Eleanor held up her hair while her daughter fastened the clasp of the necklace. Then she turned her attention to the other gift left on the cart.
“Now let’s see what my son bought me. I hope you got a gift receipt, Tim.”
“It’s in the box, mom.”
Eleanor opened the medium sized box wrapped in pink and black wrapping paper and tied with a pink bow. She took out a beaded black silk evening bag with jeweled accents and matching belt.
“Tim, is this from the new Hermes evening collection?” Eleanor asked awestruck.
“Yes. Is there something wrong?” asked Tim.
“For the first time you actually got it right! I love it! It’s a far cry from that awful wrap sweater you got me last year. It’s as if you and Allyson knew what I would be wearing tonight and you got me the perfect accents to my outfit. It’s like a psychic phenomenon. Oh, thank you both!”
She leaned over and gave each one of them a peck on the cheek.
“Oh, it’s getting late! I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cut our dinner short. My Terrence is throwing a surprise party for me over at the grill on 7th. It started at 8:00 and they’ll be expecting me around 9:30.”
“How do you know about it, if it’s a surprise party?” asked Tim skeptically.
“I make it my business to know about everything that involves me”, Eleanor chuckled.
“Before you rush off, can you tell us what’s going on with dad?” He couldn’t let his mother go without finding out what was going on with his father.
“Oh, yes. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I must warn you for your own good. Your father is in a lot of trouble. It seems he’s been fingered in some type of securities fraud scheme and he’s been arrested”, Eleanor stated in a matter of fact way.
“What?!” exclaimed Allyson.
“I- I can’t believe this!” stammered Tim “How could this happen?”
“I don’t know all the details, but it’s bound to hit the papers soon. You should be able to read all about it by tomorrow.”
“When was he arrested?” asked Allyson.
“Yesterday, I believe. He’s out of jail now, but his assets have been frozen. He’s trying to raise capital for his defense, or so he says. I think he may be trying to get money to leave the country”, explained Eleanor in a more hushed tone.
“So what are we going to do?” asked Tim, still in shock.
“Absolutely nothing, of course. My children I warn you because he may try to contact you to see if he can get some money. If he does, hang up. Do not get involved under any circumstances. He’ll suck you under with him. He’s a pariah in his own circles now. He’s lost all credibility with his associates, his friends, and his family.”
“So you’re not going to help him at all?! Even after everything he’s done for us?!” exclaimed Tim in disbelief.
“And what has he done for us that we didn’t deserve anyway! We don’t owe him anything!” retorted his mother who was annoyed almost to anger.
“I’ll say. We were never good enough to be in his world before, and finally, the tide has changed”, Allyson spat out bitterly.
“Besides, I think I have finally found my soul mate with Terrence. A handsome, rich, African-American man who is more liberal and giving than your father ever was or could be. I only wish I had met him 25 years ago. Then you two would have had the father you deserved. Anyway, I must be going or I’ll be late”, gushed Eleanor changing moods like a chameleon changes colors.
“Yes, and I better be getting back. I have an art history paper to write”, remarked Allyson.
“It was good seeing you both again. We have to do this more often”, chirped Eleanor as she rose from the table.
Tim paid the bill for both ladies and escorted them to the front where the valets had their cars waiting for them. He gave each of them the prerequisite kiss on the cheek before wishing them a good evening. Then he walked to the corner to hail a cab. It wasn’t raining anymore but it was still cold and damp, and even a little foggy. Luckily for Tim, he didn’t have to wait long. Tim almost never had trouble hailing a cab anyway, at least when he was alone. He was so fair skinned that many of the cab drivers either thought he was Puerto Rican or white, so he never got passed over. As Tim settled back for the ride, he couldn’t help but think about his dad.
He had always been a very enigmatic figure in Tim’s life. Tim’s dad was often spoken of around his house in hushed tones, no one every really uttering his name. He was often referred to as either “the father” or “certain persons” or simply a masculine pronoun. When Tim was very young, he had no idea that this person was connected to him in any way at all. Oftentimes it seemed the adults were speaking of some strange
, creepy, and dangerous person, like a boogey man or a werewolf.
Whenever ‘he’ was mentioned, countenances clouded over, and a palpable tension filled the room. He remembered this particularly one time when he heard his grandfather talk to his mother about his dad.
“He’s coming to see Tim”, Eleanor insisted.
“He’s said that before”, said her father dismissively.
“He really is coming this time. I have a date and a time.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it. If you ask me, I think the boy would be better off if that sorry excuse for a man would just stay where ever he is.”
Tim remembered being absolutely terrified when he heard the exchange, and he secretly hoped in his heart that the meeting would never happen. It eventually did happen when Tim was about five years old. Until then he had always assumed his grandfather was his dad because everyone he was around always called him ‘Poppa’. Tim would never forget that day. His nanny had gotten him all dressed up, while his mother was constantly going back and forth between the nursery and her office phone. His mother had told him that he was going to meet someone very special, and that he needed to be a good boy. But Tim knew from all the conversations he had listened to when he was supposed to be asleep, that it was none other than “him”. Tim was actually terrified that “he” would come and take him away to a bad place. He was hoping Brenda, his nanny, would not allow “him” anywhere near the nursery. However unbeknownst to himself, his mother had sent Brenda out on an all day errand while he was playing with his toys.
Then the doorbell rang, and Tim could hear his mother’s high, shrill tone mixing with a more masculine one. Tim stopped his play for a moment and peered around the door of the nursery. It was not long before, he saw his mother walking toward him down the corridor of their condo. She smiled at him, and bent down to face him.
“Tim, my love, guess who is here to see you?”
Through a mass of long, curly, blond bangs, Tim cast an apprehensive glance toward his mother, his forefinger planted firmly in his mouth.
“Take your finger out of your mouth dear”, his mother reprimanded softly. “I’ve told you that’s a nasty habit. It will make you sick and it’s going to ruin the shape of your mouth.”
Tim silently obeyed his mother’s request, but he didn’t move from the spot where he was standing.
“Come on, sweetheart. It’s that special guest that mommy’s been telling you about.”
Tim eyes welled up with tears and he stepped back from his mother into the nursery.
“I don’t want to”, he said feebly.
“Now, Tim. Remember, you promised you’d be a nice boy today.” said his mother already growing impatient with him.
“Come now, he’s even brought you a present”, his mother continued holding out her thin golden-brown hand.
It was not without much trepidation that Tim took her hand and went down the hallway to the living room where ‘he’ was sitting.
‘He’ was a tall blond white man whose imposing build made it seem as if he was taking up all the space and air in the room. He was impeccably dressed in the dark suit and flashy tie typical of the business people that Tim’s mother was acquainted with. When Tim came in, ‘he’ flashed a weird looking grin, and at once it reminded Tim of those weird clowns he often saw at birthday parties that scared him.
“Hey, little fella!” he said to Tim.
Tim grabbed his mother’s leg and buried his face her dress.
“Say hello to your father, Tim.” Eleanor demanded.
There was something that seemed very wrong with what his mother said. This man clearly wasn’t Poppa.
“That’s not Poppa!” exclaimed Tim to his mother before thrusting his head back into the skirt of her dress.
“He’s talking about his grandfather”, explained Eleanor to the man on the couch. “No this is not Poppa. Poppa is my father and this is your father. I’ve told you about your father”, she said to Tim.
Tim was not satisfied with the explanation and in fact it made him very angry and very hurt. When she spoke of his father, Tim had always thought she had been talking about Poppa. He didn’t know she really meant ‘him’. How could his mother be telling him that ‘he’ was his father. Tim did not want the boogey man to be his father. It couldn’t be true. His mother was just being mean. Or maybe ‘he’ had taken hold of her mind and made her believe it.
“No!” he whimpered, his voice muffled within the fabric of his mother’s dress where he had buried his face.
“I’m so sorry about this”, pleaded Eleanor.
“I wouldn’t have expected anything less”, the stranger said warmly. “He’s a child Eleanor, and I’m a stranger to him.”
“Look, sweetheart! He has something for you!”
Tim peeked over and saw the blue and yellow gift-wrapped box sitting on the coffee table. It piqued his interest, to the point that he could now face the man. Like most children his age, he never could turn down a present, even if he was not really sure of the person giving it. He looked up at his mother and then again at the stranger sitting in front of him.
“Here you go, little guy”, he said taking the gift off the coffee table and holding it out to Tim. Slowly, Tim took the package and moved back over to his mother. Eleanor then guided her son over to the love seat opposite the couch to sit down.
“Go ahead and open it”, he suggested to him.
Tim began to open it, with some assistance from his mother. It was none other than the five, ten-inch ranger soldiers he had wanted. His mother had promised to get him one for Christmas, but claimed she couldn’t find any. Now he had a full set.
“Cool!” was all Tim said. The strange man smiled.
“What do you say, now?” Eleanor reminded him.
“Thank you, Mr….” Tim was thinking even the Boogey man would have better sense than to go around telling people who he was. He knew he had to have some alias that he used when he was running around in the daylight pretending to be normal. So he looked to his mother to supply the “name” of this being.
“Mr. Hurst, dear.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hurst.”
“Your welcome, kid.”
Then Tim played with his new toys while his parents talked in front
of him.
“He’s certainly a beautiful child, Eleanor.”
“I know. He’s very bright, too. He’s gifted you know.”
“Is he?”
“He’s only started school and he can read almost anything. He’s
practically a prodigy in math, especially when it comes to money. I guess like father, like son.”
“Oh, really? Let’s see”, Mr. Hurst said sounding a little skeptical.
The man took a few bills out of his wallet, and some change from his pocket.
“Hey, Tommy…”
“His name is Timothy, but we all call him Tim.”
“Sure”, said the man a little embarrassed before returning his attention to Tim. “Hey, Timmy. Come here for a minute.”
Tim stopped playing with his new toys and looked at his mother before casting a wary eye on Mr. Hurst.
“Go ahead, Tim”, his mother urged him, smiling.
Tim slowly walked over to this Mr. Hurst and stopped within two feet of the man.
“Look, kid, I’ll make a deal with you. If you can count this, you can keep it”, he said handing the money to Tim.
Tim took the money clumsily in his tiny hands and sat down on the floor. He spread the bills out by denomination, from the largest to the smallest. Then he did the same with the change. After he had finished going over it, he stood up and faced the man.
“So how much have you got there?” asked the man, who seemed to smirk at him.
“Seventy-Seven dollars and eighty three cents”, Tim declared confidently.
Hurst startled at the child’s accuracy. Eleanor smiled proudly at her son’s accompli
shment.
“Hell, you are smart”, Hurst breathed. Then to Eleanor he said, “Where does he go to school?”
“Trevor day school.”
“Put him in Bankstreet.”
“So I can take it, right?” asked Tim.
“What?” said Mr. Hurst absentmindedly.
“The money. You said I could have it if I could count it. We had a deal remember?” Tim reminded him.
“Oh, sure, kid. It’s all yours”, smiled Hurst.
“I’m going to put it in my cash register. I’ll be right back”, said Tim tottering off to the nursery with his fortune.
“I tried to get him into Bankstreet, but they said they didn’t have any space at the moment.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know people.”
“And who’s going to pay for it. I’m not exactly at the poverty line, but Bankstreet is still out of my league.”
“I told you. Any thing he needs, he’ll have it. You said he could read anything.”
“Almost anything. He’s still only five you know.”
“Hey, Timmy. Come over here and read this for me.” Hurst said to Tim who had just come back into the room. Tim was starting to become more comfortable with this stranger. So far he had given him a gift and a whole lot of money and called him smart. As such, little Tim’s apprehensions began to fade. Hurst held out a newspaper to him and Tim read the front matter easily.
“You’re a really bright kid, you know that?”
“Are you going to take me away?” asked Tim with some concern.
“No, no. I think you’re better off here with your mother. But I promise you I will do my best to make sure you have everything you need.” As precocious as he was, Tim had only a very indistinct idea of what this meant.
Then Mr. Hurst looked at his watch.
“I have to go now. But I’m going to talk to one of my associates at Bankstreet later this afternoon. I’ll let you know when you can take him down and I’ll stop by in a couple of weeks when I can to see how he’s getting on”, Hurst stated as he rose to leave.
“Thank you. I just want to let you know that I really appreciate everything you’re doing for us”, smiled Eleanor.
“It’s no problem. You’re doing a really good job with him Eleanor. He’s going to have a good future. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Thank you.”
When Hurst left, Eleanor ran over and hugged and kissed her son.
“Oh Tim, I am so lucky to have a little boy like you”, she gushed over him.
“I was good, wasn’t I mommy. I won almost 78 dollars”, smiled Tim.
“Yes, you were very good. I was so proud of you when you showed your father how smart you were. And he was proud of you, too.”
“Is he going to come back tomorrow?”
“Maybe not tomorrow, but he will definitely be back.”
When he left, Tim had not learned much about the man other than his name. What he did learn was that if he was a good boy and did things the man liked, his mother was happy and there was a better chance that he would come back. Some how it seemed very important that the man keep coming back. Maybe if Tim were really good, the man would think about staying and being a family with them. Then he wouldn’t be a boogey man and he would be a real daddy, just like in a Disney movie. So he suffered through violin and guitar lessons, dance classes, academic competitions, soccer, swimming, and lacrosse competitions. He always had to be the best, earn the prize or the trophy. By the time he was 18 years old Tim (and by then, his sister as well) had a trail of accomplishments longer than an epic tome, but the stranger never came to stay. It was never enough.
But still Mr. Hurst had done a lot for Tim throughout the years. It was Hurst’s money that paid for all the fancy day schools, boarding school, and Harvard. It was Hurst that paid for all the trips and vacations cross-country as well as across the world. It was his influence that kept Tim out of trouble at times in his wayward adolescence, and it was Hurst who helped Tim get a job at Herns and Marshall. And now all that was gone. In fact, now his dad needed help, and given the things that had just transpired in his life, Tim was in no position to provide assistance even if he wanted to. What if his father did reach out to him? The one moment when Tim should have been able to be a good son and step in to help his dad out, he couldn’t. It made him feel worthless.
As Tim’s despondent reverie came to a conclusion, the cab pulled up to the front door of his building. Tim paid the driver and got out. As he stepped out onto the curb, a full day of not eating, the shock of bad news, and the remnants of his hangover began to take their toll and he began to feel light-headed. He decided to sit down on one of the stone benches outside until he felt better. The last thing he wanted to do was go back into the empty apartment. There was so much inside him and he felt like he wanted to talk to someone about it. He looked at his watch. It was 9:45pm. There was a chance that Tamiko was still up. After all it wasn’t that late. She would understand. Tamiko always seemed to understand him somehow. And she always had this grace about her that captivated him. He always wanted to know the source of it. Secretly he hoped it some of it would rub off on himself.
“Hello.”
“Hey”
“Tim?”
“None other.”
“Do you know what time it is?”
“It’s not ten yet.”
“But it’s almost.”
“O.K. it’s a little late, but I just needed someone to talk to right now.”
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“Try the beginning.”
“You know what, Tamiko? It’s really complicated. How about I meet
you tomorrow after school? Just promise me you’ll see me tomorrow.”
Tim reconsidered the timing of his call. He knew Tamiko would probably stay up the whole night and into the morning talking to him, but he knew that she had to get up early to go to work tomorrow and would have felt guilty about tiring her out.
“Of course. You can pick me up at school. I get out at 6:30 because
of parent teacher conferences. It’s the Great Expectations school P.S. 34.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
Now Tim felt like he could go into the empty apartment, knowing
that there was someone out there that would listen.
Thirty-Two