Read Compassion Be Damned Page 4


  I didn’t know a Sister who hadn’t hated that hood. “I’m just an ordinary girl, then? Who happens to simply have five really strong, powerful men watching her every move?”

  I sat where Jett indicated and waited for them to bring me something to eat. I’d never been lazy, and before I’d been locked up, the idea of being waited on would have made me uneasy. I still didn’t like it, but I supposed I understood the necessity of it from their perspective.

  Ryland and Jett sat down with me while Titus, Paden, and Zeke went for the food. I chewed on my fingernail. “I’m trying to think of how I can reciprocate what you are all doing for me. There has to be something I can do.”

  Jett looked at Ryland who reached across the table to squeeze my free hand. “Look, this started out as sort of a job. A way to get out of the Badlands and improve our circumstances. We took the oaths. Then it changed. When Katrina did what she did and we finally got away, we could remember this whole deal with the ravens. I can’t really explain it. But we knew there was this guy named Reed and that he was a raven. We’ve been looking for him. We need to make amends to Mika.”

  I jolted at the name. “Mika?”

  “Yes. Did you know her?”

  I nodded. “She was nice to me. I mean, none of us knew each other well, but I liked her. She was nice to everyone. Mid-level power but she never looked down on me for having none.”

  Jett wrinkled up his face. “I’d hardly say you have no power, Sister. You saved that child.”

  “I don’t have the right power. I don’t have the power Sisters should have.”

  Paden set down a plate of eggs and a glass of milk in front of me. “Not much of a choice. This looked better than whatever was supposed to be oatmeal.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure it’s delicious.”

  Paden sat next to Ryland on one side. Titus sat next to me on the other. It was almost like having a family to be with at breakfast, something I’d long imagined had to be a wonderful way to start the day. The eggs weren’t great, but they tasted happy. That was a strange thought and yet there it was.

  “You’re smiling.” Paden pointed at me with his fork. “Why are you smiling, Sister? The eggs aren’t that good.”

  I swallowed the food in my mouth. “I’m not locked in a room and these eggs taste happy.”

  “Happy?” Paden grinned. “I like that. Happy eggs.”

  Titus raised his glass. “To happy eggs.”

  “Hear, hear,” Ryland finished.

  Were they actually toasting the eggs? “Can I ask a question?”

  “Of course,” Zeke answered. “Anything. Go ahead.”

  A muscle ticked in Titus’ jaw. “If it’s about what happened with Mika, you should know we’re deeply sorry.”

  I did want to hear more about that, but if the way they all tensed up was any indication, then it wasn’t the moment to do so. We’d only just met. They didn’t have to bare their deepest, darkest secrets to me.

  “No, um, I was just going to ask what your number designations were.”

  “Oh.” Titus’ jaw lessoned. “I’m One.”

  So he was the one in charge. He’d told me that, so I wasn’t surprised and… I pointed at Paden. “Two?”

  He tapped his chest. “That’s right.”

  Zeke held up three fingers. “The one who gets it done.”

  Ryland snorted. “He tries. I clean up his mess. I’m Four.”

  Jett leaned his head to the side. “I’m Five. Last but not least. We all have our roles. It’s really not about getting things done.”

  I knew that. Or at least I understood a little bit of it. I had never had my own guards. “And you guys don’t like the Sisters, right?”

  Paden raised his eyebrows. “Us specifically?”

  “No, all guards.”

  Ryland shook his head. “I heard the Sisters thought that. We don’t dislike you guys, not as a rule.”

  I finished my food. “Thanks for explaining things. Um, maybe you could do me one favor? And not call me Sister. I’m not much of one. I’d be more comfortable if you could just call me Krystal. Could you do that?”

  They looked at each other and eventually Titus nodded. “It’s probably best anyway. If someone hears Sister, you could be at risk. Krystal it is.”

  There, that hadn’t been so hard. I’d asked for something and I’d gotten it. It was simple really. I…

  The food turned in my stomach a second before my hands burned, indicating my powers were going to rear to life. I gasped and around me the guards all shifted.

  “Did you feel that?” I didn’t know who Zeke addressed, but he received affirmative responses. They’d all felt something. That must have to do with being so close to me when my powers flew to life. What was happening? Who was sick?

  I looked around. Paden reached out to touch my cheek. “Keep your head down if you can, Krystal. The eyes.”

  There wasn’t much I was going to be able to do about my eyes. Not if someone needed me. Who, by Divinity, was sick or injured?

  “Krystal, when you locate the person who needs you, let’s try to get them out of here before you do anything, if you can.” Titus rose. “To our room, guys. Not hers. I don’t want people knowing where she is staying if we can avoid it.”

  Lots of if-thens. No one knew anything. Suddenly, I locked on the person, and I stopped breathing. There was no question what I looked at. The woman who stumbled into the room was possessed. I’d only ever seen the possessed in school, having never been taken out into the real world to work. She had the look, the not-really-present-in-her-eyes stare. How had she gotten on the train?

  And another big problem—my active ability didn’t involve exorcism.

  Her need called out to me, and as I rose, I realized I didn’t mean the human. I shuddered. My powers wanted me to heal the demon.

  How did this work? It had never happened at the Sisterhood.

  “Spread out.” Titus’ voice penetrated my fog.

  I looked at him. “This is going to be really… I don’t have the word for it. I have to heal the demon.”

  “No, you don’t have to do that.” Titus shook his head. “Guys, come on, something is wrong, we have to get her out of here.”

  Paden moved forward, and I wondered if he was going to pick me up to move me.

  “Stop,” I told them. “This has to happen. My powers aren’t going to allow otherwise. For some reason, Divinity wants me to heal that demon. I’m going to do it.”

  The room had gone quiet. I was making a scene, and if anyone on this train hadn’t known I was a Sister, they knew now.

  “Zeke,” Titus spoke low. “Grab the woman. Our quarters now. Whether she wants to go or not. She’s a demon. She’s alone. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

  Jett whistled. “With you. On your four, Zeke.”

  I was pulled away. The world started to blur out. I thought it was Ryland who had my hand but I wasn’t sure. The next thing I saw was the glow of a person needing me. Or in this case, the demon. The woman made a whimpering noise, like a wounded animal.

  “Krystal, we’re here.” Titus’ voice reached me. I was glad for the company. Truth was, I had no idea what to expect next.

  I touched her. This was exactly the same as when I’d cleared the child outside. The demon was hurt and needed help. How did I know she was female? I wasn’t at all sure. I just did. None of this made sense. I traveled inside and tried as best I could to infuse her with energy. I gave and I gave and I gave before I was thrust outward, back into my body.

  The demon floated in front of me, no longer in the woman. Instead, it just faded away. I reached the now demon-less woman and handed her whatever I had left. She’d been through an ordeal. She needed all the help she could get.

  The world went black.

  A horn blasted. It was loud and annoying, insistent. What was that?

  “See if you can make that stop.”

  A pause. “On it.”

  Whose were
those voices? The first was Titus and the next, Jett. Yes, I knew them. The pounding horn didn’t stop. I lifted my head. Paden lay next to me in a room I didn’t recognize. He rubbed my back. “I think she’s waking up.”

  “How could she not be? That horn would wake the dead.” Ryland passed back and forth. “She needs rest.”

  I cleared my throat. It was dry. “I could use some water. Where is the bathroom? I’ll grab it.”

  “Stay where you are.” Zeke jumped up from a window seat and rushed past me. “I got it.”

  I was really going to have to figure out something to give them despite their protests. “Did the train stop?”

  I sat up slowly, dizziness coming then quickly passing. I was steady by the time Zeke brought me the water. Paden answered my question. “Sure did. There’s something they have to move out of the way of the tracks. They’re working on it.”

  Well, that explained it. “What else happened? The demon left?”

  “That’s what happens when you exorcise them.” Ryland still paced. He was going to wear a hole in the floor.

  I grabbed his shirt when he passed, and he stopped to look at me. I cleared my throat. “Are you okay? I know it can be hard to be cooped up. You don’t have to be in here. You can walk around.”

  He scrunched his face. “I’ve never seen anything like what you just did. I thought it was going to kill you. I think it might have for a second.”

  “Ry—” Titus tried to interrupt him, but Ryland kept speaking.

  “I’ve never felt so completely ineffectual in my life, and I was controlled by a mad woman using dark magic for years.” He sank onto the bed next to me. “I’m so sick of not being able to really do anything.”

  Titus patted him on the back. “You did. You grabbed her before she hit the ground. If there aren’t hordes of possessed wandering around, we can’t do much but keep her from hurting herself. You remember the training. That’s what we learned.”

  Ryland leaned on his knees. “Sure.”

  I didn’t get the feeling he particularly accepted that. I rose, not gracefully, but I did it. “The demon left her body, but I didn’t take it out. I don’t have that power.”

  Jett came back. “The horn is going off for no good reason. They can’t seem to make it stop.”

  “I’m up.” I waved my hand. “Thanks for trying.”

  Titus moved into my line of vision. “And yet that’s just what you did. I mean, maybe not the traditional way I’ve heard other Sisters do it, but you got the demon out.”

  I shrugged. “I healed it. Maybe it got itself out.”

  “Why would it?”

  Just then the train tilted sideways. I was thrown straight into Titus. Metal groaned. I’d never realized it could do that before. Titus’ arms came around me hard and someone screamed. It might have been me. I wasn’t sure. Demons I could handle, maybe. Being crushed to death, not so much.

  “You’re okay?”

  We stood on the side of the mess that had been our train as madness roiled around us. It seemed everyone had managed to get out, despite the fact the train had turned on its side. No one could tell me why. It hadn’t been moving. It shouldn’t have tipped over.

  I asked again. “You’re okay?”

  The guys all nodded. If they were equally confused, they weren’t saying so. I squatted. There had to be an equilibrium somewhere that I could find. Nothing was making any sense.

  “Sister Krystal.”

  I looked up at Paden. “I asked you not to call me that.”

  “I know.” He scratched his head. “But I’m afraid it’s too apropos not to use it.”

  I didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

  He pointed toward the woods. “There’s a big demon there, right?”

  I twisted, and gazed where he indicated. Yes, indeed there was. A tall, ugly one. I stood straight. Some of them tried to disguise their appearances, but I remembered this one from school. It was designated a CRYM demon. That had a long designation when spelled out, but we mostly called it the CRIME demon. With its purple head and its eyes too far apart, no one would ever think it was anything but a monster.

  My powers shot back to life. “Do you suppose if you hadn’t shown it to me I’d not have turned on? Don’t answer that. They’re on. Obviously, the divine thinks I should either handle it or die trying.”

  I marched forward.

  At least I knew what had tipped over the train.

  Chapter 4

  I walked toward the beast of a demon and tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. I could speak the old language, I’d learned it along with the other Sisters and, actually, it had been easy for me to pick up. I tried to stand straight. My back hurt from the train toppling over, which meant that Titus had to hurt more.

  As though I’d summoned him with my thoughts, Titus appeared at my side, Paden on the other. They were taking their guard positions. I might never get used to it.

  Was I going to clear this demon of his pain like I’d done on the train? This felt significantly different. Maybe it shouldn’t. They were both creatures of evil, hurting human beings.

  Ravens circled over my head, and I stopped to look at them for a second. I didn’t see the white feathered one. Were these just ordinary? What did it matter? I needed to focus. Could I actually fight this?

  A raven dove down in front of me, shifting as it did. I gasped. Well, it wasn’t that Reed person but instead, was a very tall man with high cheekbones and dark brown eyes—so dark they might have been black.

  “Titus, don’t let your Sister near that demon. It will kill her.”

  I heard him, but the demand of my powers spurred me forward. I needed to…

  Titus yanked me back. He wrapped his arm around me as a physical restraint. I struggled to get loose, but it was no use. “Titus, you need to let me do this. Divinity wants it. My powers are on. I have to use them.”

  “You don’t, actually.” The unnamed bird stalked toward us. “It will hurt to not use them, and then it will pass. It won’t kill you. He will.”

  From behind me, Jett spoke. “Not that we’re not grateful, but whoever you are—you’re not Reed—and should you be interfering? Who are you to know whether or not she’s going to die?”

  Everything ached. I closed my eyes and tried to struggle again. Paden put his hand on my arm.

  “I’m not Reed, no. But I have as much a vested interest in this as he does. He’s not the only one working to get things where they need to be.” He looked away. “I know Reed quite well. He wouldn’t do this for you. He believes in interfering as little as possible. I don’t. Divinity and I are sometimes on the outs. That’s fine. In the end, we’re on the same side. Krystal, I don’t know if you’re going to remember this or not but if you do, the next time you see Aspen tell her that Alexander… well, I don’t know. Never mind. Don’t tell her anything.”

  Just for a second, I saw visible pain cross the man’s face before he shifted back into his bird form and flew off, leaving the birds he’d been with to circle above us. The demon roared. It hadn’t moved during the whole time we’d spoken with Alexander, as though the raven had paused time. I shook my head. I needed to heal.

  Titus hauled me like I was a baby, carrying me in his arms away from the demon. “You guys may have missed the part in training where it’s made very clear that Sisters don’t get carried away from fights before we get to do them. Maybe afterward.”

  “You heard what he said.” Zeke was next to Titus. “It’ll kill you.”

  “Then it’ll kill me.”

  As soon as I spoke the words, Titus shuddered. I felt bad if my words caused them pain, but we hardly knew each other. I’d been called by Divinity to deal with that demon. I wasn’t flippant with my life, but the calling often meant death. Katrina may have destroyed something fundamental about the Sisterhood. I still wasn’t sure everything she had done, but I knew there were basic truths that remained the same. I had a calling.

  I e
xpected the demon to chase us, but he didn’t. In fact, the last thing I saw was the beast grinning at me. Why had he done that? I didn’t know. The farther away we traveled, the worse the pain became. I struggled, but it was to no end. These guards had apparently decided it was their job to listen to some random bird-man and that’s what they were going to do.

  I gave up struggling when the pain got too bad.

  At some point they found a wagon. I didn’t even care. I burned from the inside out. That bird guy had said this wouldn’t kill me, but I didn’t think he knew what in the hell he was talking about anymore. This was going to kill me. I lifted my head then let it fall back down. If I could have, I’d have crawled back to that demon.

  I was supposed to kill it. I knew it.

  Jett was the closest to me. They kept rotating spots but currently it was Jett. I stared at him through the slits that let wicked light into my eyes. “Maybe the bird man just wanted to kill me. Maybe he was a demon, too. And this whole thing was a trick.”

  His hand rubbed the back of my head. “No. There was something about him. Hard to explain. A kinship. He was the real deal.”

  “Well, I’m certainly thrilled for you that you are so damned certain.”

  I closed my eyes again. If I was going to die, let sweet sleep take me there.

  When I woke next, drenched in sweat, it occurred to me that one, I was out of pain, and two, I wasn’t in a wagon but a carriage. Why had I thought it was a wagon? Well, it was open aired. Maybe that was why. My brain was muddled and I groaned. This time it was Ryland who sat next to me. Perhaps I had scared off Jett with my nasty mouth.

  Ryland shifted his head, looking down at me. “You up?”

  “Sort of.” I tried to sit and with a little help from Ryland got there. “I don’t hurt as much, anymore.”

  He whistled through his teeth. “Only took ten hours. Those are some strong powers you have. Kept trying to get back to that monster demon.”

  The other four were up front, sitting near two horses that pulled us. Where had they come across this carriage? Had they bought it or stolen it? I rubbed at my eyes. “Maybe you should have let me handle the demon.”