It’s only fitting that our #1 excuse for not praying should have a chapter all to itself. And while I still contend that laziness is at the root of this excuse as well, I also believe our lifestyles morph this particular strain of laziness into a generally accepted excuse in today’s culture. Somehow we’ve equated “busyness” with accomplishment and success. I’ve had many friends over the years who routinely call and list all they’ve done by eight in the morning. I’m sure I’m supposed to be impressed, but usually I just roll over and go back to sleep. Makes me yawn just thinking about it.
What is behind this frantic pace of our everyday lives? It seems to be the inescapable way of life in twenty-first century America. Unfortunately, I think Christians are among the worst offenders. In addition to being a husband or wife, parent, student, employee or employer, friend, volunteer, relative, neighbor, and all those other hats we keep piled on our heads, there’s all that busyness of church. Services, classes, choir practices, team/committee meetings, church suppers, Sunday school lessons, potlucks, Bible studies—hold on a sec, I’ve got to catch my breath here—mission weeks, revivals, vacation Bible schools, the annual church picnic, Christmas cantatas, Easter pageants, mission trips abroad, Sunday school socials, food drives, clothing drives, Angel Trees . . . Have I missed anything?
In Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller addresses this subject from a startling perspective.
I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.1
Bingo! How better to sell us a counterfeit faith than to load up our calendars with a thousand church-focused obligations? A sly one, that devil. And churches all over the world fall for it. You’ve gotta love churches that stress the tremendous importance of the family, but expect members to be at the church five out of seven nights a week. What’s wrong with that equation? And where do we get off thinking we’re some kind of saint just because we never miss?
We seem to be a nation and a people who rarely slow down. It’s as if we don’t know how—unless the stress catches up with us, causing any number of maladies like ulcers, heart attacks, hernias, emotional meltdowns (been there, done that), or sheer exhaustion. Who has time for spiritual matters like prayer? In an ideal world, we’d gladly spend half an hour—oh, let’s dream big—maybe even an entire hour— reading our Bibles and praying every single day of our lives. Really? A whole hour? Shoot, if that’s the case, let’s try to see if we can find those sixty minutes that seem to be MIA and UFMP (Missing in Action and Unavailable for Meaningful Prayer).
Granted, much of your daily routine depends on your age and marital status. As a single, your time at home is primarily your own. Now don’t get your knickers in a knot—I know there are exceptions. Perhaps you’re a single parent with children in the home. Maybe you’re caring for an aging parent, spending all your free time with them. Those situations drastically change the home dynamic. Your time is rarely your own! And if you’re married, particularly if children are in the picture, your time must be allocated between your spouse and your children and all the other demands of your life.
No matter what your home life may look like—Norman Rockwell or otherwise—let me ask you a few questions. This morning when you got up, did you spend time reading your favorite blogs? Did you answer e-mails while your coffee was brewing? Did you read the paper while eating your Cocoa Puffs? If you’re a guy, did you watch SportsCenter on TV while you shaved and got dressed? If you’re a woman, did you think through your to do list while you showered this morning, made a pot of coffee before blow-drying your hair, put on your makeup, dressed for work, woke up the kids for school, let the dog out, made breakfast for the family, packed lunches for the kids, and made sure everyone got out the door in time? (Is it just me, or do the guys have the shorter list here? That is so not fair.)
Whoa. I’m worn out just thinking about your mornings. I need a nap.
A word of warning is in order. Unless you’re a member of the clergy, I wouldn’t recommend having your prayer time once you get to work. Your employer doesn’t pay you to spend time with the Lord on the clock. I knew of a woman back in Oklahoma who made quite a show of reading her Bible and praying in the break room after clocking in at work each morning. I’m sure she meant well, but what a terrible witness to her co-workers. Needless to say, her boss eventually showed her the door, and rightly so.
So the morning is gone, you barely have time to grab a bite for lunch, then you’re back at work for the afternoon. When you finally head home, you’re mentally and/or physically exhausted so you listen to talk radio or a few of your favorite CDs on your homeward commute.
It’s now seven in the evening. Regardless if you’re single, married, with or without children, you probably have a routine most weeknights. Before you try to assure me you spend your evenings constructively, I should warn you I’ve done some research. The latest official TV rating stats tell us the average American television viewer is logging more than 153 hours of TV each month. That breaks down to somewhere in the vicinity of five hours per day. And that doesn’t even count the additional amount of viewership via the Internet and mobile phones. This tells me there’s a pretty good chance you’re parked on the couch for hours upon hours of television viewing on a fairly regular basis.
“Yes,” you say, “but I’m watching news programming. It’s important to know what’s happening in the world around us.” Yes, my dear news wonk, it is indeed important. Or perhaps you say, “I watch educational stations like the Discovery Channel. Ever watch that show on meerkats? They’re fascinating. Practically human!” No kidding. I think I spotted one of my inlaws in last week’s episode . . . Personally, the Food Network is my TV drug of choice. Not good for someone who’s lived most of her life on a perpetual diet; know what I mean?
But let’s face it—whether it’s news or educational programming or a string of reality shows or a marathon of sporting events—you’re most likely racking up some hefty TV time. Which might explain some of those extra pounds you’re totin’ around these days. Not that I’m pointing fingers or anything.
By now, it’s time for bed. Maybe, upon realizing you haven’t had a single blip on your day’s radar concerning the Lord, you utter a couple of quick ones as your head hits the pillow. “Lord, forgive me for neglecting You today. Thank You for . . . for . . .” And that about does it. Soon, the snoring commences as you drift off into a blissful sleep, dreaming of meerkats auditioning for American Idol.
If I came anywhere close to describing your average day, then chances are you need help. Carving out time to pray doesn’t come easy. If you’re serious about making your one-on-one time with God a priority, you’ve got to be willing to tackle that ugly D word: discipline. When I think of physical exercise, I can safely say I hate—nay, loathe—the discipline it requires. (Which might explain some of the aforementioned excess pounds I’m carrying around.) But discipline is such a necessary part of life. Without it, we waste massive amounts of our time and energy. Likewise, discipline is an integral part of being committed to some form of daily, routine encounter with God.
One of the best books I’ve read in years is Second Calling: Finding Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life. Author Dale Hanson Bourke addresses this matter of our hectic lifestyles: “If I turn up the music of busyness, I will miss the whispers of God’s call.”2 Isn’t that profound? Over the course of your life, how many of God’s whispers have you missed? Does the thought of it break your heart?
Ever hear of the Wesleys? This remarkable eighteenth-century English family played a vital role in the early Christian movement here in America. John Wesley was an Anglican theologian who helped launch the Methodist denomination. His brother Charles, also a leader of that movement, is remembered for penning more than 6,000 hymns, many of the most famous hymns we know today.
John and Charles were just two of the nineteen children born to Samuel and Susannah Wesley, though nine of their brothers and sisters died as infants, and another was accidentally smothered by a maid. Samuel left Susannah for more than a year after they had an argument over a quite trivial difference of opinion. It must have been one whopper of a fight because he left her alone to care for their ten remaining children with no means of support. But through the many hardships Susannah experienced, she continually grew stronger and more determined to educate her children and raise them to honor God.3
Why am I telling you about Susannah Wesley? Because it would have been so easy for her to throw up her hands and cry why me? Instead, this intelligent and strong-willed woman instilled discipline and order in her home. And she did that by maintaining a relentless practice of daily prayer with the Lord. The story is told of many occasions when, unable to find a quiet room for her prayer time, she would flip her apron over her head and pray. Not just for a few minutes, but for two hours. She had arranged a system so that the older children would take care of the younger ones during this time. In doing so, they learned first-hand by their mother’s example, the importance of a personal prayer life.4
It’s all about priorities, isn’t it? Susannah Wesley had hers in order, that’s for sure. Now bear in mind all of the obstacles in her life, then listen to her perspective on the importance of setting aside time to pray each day.
I will tell you what rule I observed when I was young . . . never to spend more time in mere recreation in one day than I spent in private religious devotions.5
Ol’ Susannah doesn’t beat around the bush, does she? And to think, she didn’t even have the temptation to watch a weekend marathon of Law and Order or play eighteen holes at Augusta. I wonder what kind of mere recreation was available to her back then. Needlepoint? Playing the lute?
It’s definitely a matter of priorities, but I’d even go a step further and suggest it’s a matter of devotion and adoration. Let’s put it in twenty-first century terms. Imagine this:
You have been summoned by the president of the United States. (If you don’t like the current occupant, make it the last one you did like.) He has asked you to join him for breakfast at the White House. His personal secretary called to extend the invitation to you and give you the details of where to go and when to be there. The morning arrives. Your alarm clock buzzes incessantly. As your mind awakens, you think over your options. Do you—
(A) Throw the alarm clock across the room. As you begin to drift back to sleep, you vaguely recall that today is the day you go to the White House. But you decide it’s not that big a deal, so you blow off the president, snuggle back under the covers and go back to sleep. Or do you—
(B) Hit the snooze button eight more times then call his secretary and tell her you’re just too tired and you’ll have to take a rain check. She says the next available date is two years from next week, which suits you fine. Or do you—
(C) Fly out of bed, grab a shower and get dressed, catch up on your correspondence, play a couple rounds of solitaire on your computer, pay some bills, take a long call from a friend while you put dinner in the crockpot—then look at the clock and realize it’s already half an hour past the time you were supposed to be at the White House. You shrug it off and decide you’ll get to it another time. Or do you—
(D) Set your alarm clock the night before to wake you earlier than usual. When it goes off, you jump out of bed, shower and dress, then leave the house with plenty of time to spare as you drive to the White House. Graciously and with much anticipation and excitement, you meet the most important person in the world over coffee and croissants. As you and the president began to chat, you think—I wouldn’t have missed this for the world!
Let me guess. You picked D, didn’t you? I know. Maybe I’m psychic after all. I’m also impressed because you certainly know how to respond when summoned by someone important!
Now let’s put that scenario in terms of your spiritual life. Your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has extended a personal invitation for you to join him for a chat—not just today, but every day of your life. So what’s it going to be? Will you willingly ignore His invitation, throwing your alarm clock across the room, opting for more sleep? Will your good intentions get lost in a flurry of other important tasks? Or will you plan ahead, making sure you don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime—make that eternity—and give your appointed time with your Heavenly Father the priority it deserves?
My goal on these pages is to help you scratch out any response except that last one above. To help you find the joy of meeting God every single day, one-on-one, heart-to-heart, until you reach a point where you can’t even imagine starting your day without Him.
How will you make that happen? You already know. That dirty word we discussed a page or so back: discipline. Without it, you’ll never succeed at much of anything, let alone the habit of spending time with your God.
By now you’re saying, “Okay, okay! Prayer requires discipline. I get it! But tell me how do I learn that kind of discipline? Tell me!”
I will. I promise. But first, there’s one more thing I need to ask you.
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.
–DEUTERONOMY 4:29