CHAPTER II.
I must have been at this time about five years old. It will strike youperhaps as strange, Sahib, that I should remember so many particularsof the event I have described; but when I was imprisoned some yearsago at Dehlie, I used to endeavour, in my solitude, to recollect andarrange the past adventures of my life; one circumstance led me tothe remembrance of another--for in solitude, if the mind seeks theoccupation, it readily takes up the clue to past events, howeverdistant, and thought brings them one by one before the imagination asvividly fresh as the occurrences of yesterday; and from an old Thug'sadventures, which I heard during that imprisonment, I found my memoryto serve me well. I was in possession of the whole of the facts, as Ihave related them to you, and I have only perhaps supplied the minorpoints from my own mind. I particularly recollect the scene withGunesha, which he has since related to me, and told me, that such washis rage at the abuse I poured on him, that had it not been for thedread of Ismail's vengeance, and of his power, he would have sacrificedme in his fury. But to return to my story, if you are not tired of it.
No, indeed, said I; I am becoming more and more interested in it.
Well, resumed Ameer Ali, I was kindly nursed and tended by Ismailand his wife. The curiosity of the villagers was a good deal excitedby my appearance, and I have since suspected Ismail thought I mightone day reveal what I knew of my origin; and for this reason I wasnever allowed out of his or his wife's sight. I must then, however,have speedily forgotten all about it, or at least have retained soconfused and indistinct a recollection of the circumstances, that hadI endeavoured to relate them to any one, I could not have made themintelligible, and should have been disregarded.
Ismail, in his village, carried on the trade of a cloth-merchant--atleast, when he was at home. He daily sat in his shop, with differentkinds of cloths before him for sale; but it was plain, even to me, tosee that he was restless and uneasy. He would very often be absent fordays together, without his family knowing where he had gone; and hewould suddenly return with large quantities of cloth and other goods,which were always exposed for sale. I continued to be the object of hisgreatest care, and I reciprocated his affection; for, indeed, I wasmore kindly treated by him than I ever had been by my father, who was aproud and ill-tempered man. My new mother, too, never gave me reason tobe displeased with her; for, having no child of her own, I was her pet,and she lavished on me all the means in her power. I was always welldressed, and had every indulgence that a child could wish for.
I was about nine years old, I think, when my kind protectress died ofa fever, while Ismail was on one of his excursions, and I was taken bya neighbour to his house, until he returned. I shall never forget hisdespair when he found his home desolate. Young as I was, I could do butlittle to console him; but he used to go and deck her tomb with flowersevery Friday, and bitter were his lamentations over her grave.
Poor Miriam! for that was her name--it was well for you that you died;had you lived, what would now have been your condition! As the wife ofa noted Thug, your reputation would have been blasted, and you wouldhave become an outcast! Sahib! she never knew what Ismail was. Hewas to her a man in prosperous circumstances. She had everything shecould desire, and not a want remained unsatisfied; and so deeply andwell-laid were his plans, that she would never have known, till the dayof his capture, that she was the wife of a professed murderer!
I pass over the next four or five years of my life, as I can rememberno incident in them worth relating. Ismail, soon after the death ofhis wife, removed from the village where he had hitherto resided, andtook up his abode in the town of Murnae, which was then in Sindia'spossession, and I was put to school with an old man, who taught me toread and write Persian. As I grew older, I observed that Ismail usedvery frequently to have a number of men at his house by night, and Iwas naturally curious to know who they were, and why they assembled.One evening that I knew they were expected, I feigned to lie down andgo to sleep as usual; but when they had all come, I got up cautiously,and hid myself behind a purdah or screen, at the further end of theroom where they sat. After they had eaten what was prepared forthem, they all drew together, and began conversing in a language Ionly partially understood, and I thought this strange, as I knewHindoostanee and the common dialect myself, having picked up the latterby associating with the boys of the town. By-and-by Ismail went to acloset very near where I lay, and his movement alarmed me greatly,as I was fearful of being discovered; he took from it a box, whichhe placed in the circle, and opened it. Rich as I had always thoughthim, I had no idea of the wealth it contained; there were quantitiesof gold and silver ornaments of all kinds, with strings of pearls andother valuables; they seemed all parcelled out into lots, as equally aspossible, and to each man he gave one, reserving a considerable sharefor himself.
At last they began to speak in Hindoostanee, a language I understood.One of them, an elderly man with a venerable beard, said to Ismail,--
"What do you intend doing with Ameer? He is almost a young man; and ifhe is to be one of us, it is high time he should be taught what to do.It is very dangerous to have him about the house; he might discoversomething, and be off before you knew anything of the matter."
"Oh, I have no fear of him," said Ismail, "he is too fond of me;besides, he has no other protector in the world but myself. He was theson of ----"
And here the conversation was carried on by Ismail again in thelanguage I did not understand.
"It does not matter," said another man, whose name was Hoosein, andwhom I knew very well, as he was employed by Ismail, to all appearance,as an agent for selling his cloth; "the lad is a smart, active fellow,and a great deal too knowing for you to let him go about everywherewith so little restraint; he will find out all one of these days, if heis not fairly brought among us. Besides, he is old enough to be of usein many ways, and he ought to be instructed in our profession, if he beever to learn; depend upon it, the sooner he eats the Goor, the morerelish he will have for it. I brought up a lad myself; and when oncehe got his hand in, he was a perfect tiger at the work, and became soexpert, that our oldest hands could hardly compete with him."
"Well," said Ismail, "I believe you are right, and I foretell greatdoings from this boy. He is brave and stout beyond his years, andthere are but few who can excel him in his qusrut, which I havetaught him ever since he was a child; but he is of so kind and gentlea disposition, that I do not know how to break the matter to him. Ialmost fear he will never consent."
"Pooh!" said a third man, whom I had never seen before; "these verykind-hearted boys are the best we could have; they are the more easilyled and won over, and one has more dependence upon them. Put the matterin the proper light; talk to him of the glory of the business, and ofour surety of Heaven. Describe to him all about the houris which ourblessed prophet--may his name be honoured!--has promised us; and tellhim, too, of the heaven of Indur, all of which you know we are sure of;the one by our faith as Moslims, and the other by our profession. Hewill soon be won over, I am certain."
"I think," said Ismail, "you have hit on the right way; the lad goesto the old foolish Moola of the Mosque whenever he can get a moment'sleisure, who has so filled his head with stories about Paradise, whichhe reads to him out of the blessed Koran, that he is at times halfbeside himself, and this is the only point on which he is assailable. Iwill talk him over, and have no doubt he will soon belong to us."
"The sooner the better," said Hoosein, laughing; "I like to see thefirst attempt of a beginner: he always looks so confoundedly innocentwhen the cloth is put into his hand, and he is told----"
"Silence!" cried the old man; "suppose he were now to hear you (andyou were going on with a relation of the whole matter), he might takea different view of the subject, and be off, as I said before."
"No; there is no fear of that," said Ismail; "but are you not tiredwith your march? remember, we have far to travel to-morrow, and, byAlla! it is for some good too."
"Ay!" said all, getting up; "let us go to sleep;
it is too hot to resthere; we shall be cooler in the open air;" and they left the room.
You may believe, Sahib, that my curiosity was at the highest pitch:who was Ismail? who were the rest? what was it I was to know, or to betaught? My mind was in a whirl. I could not sleep that night; I neverclosed my eyes; I seemed to be in a fever, so intense was my curiosity,and, I may say, my desire to know everything, and to become a partnerwith Ismail in whatever he was. Hitherto I had been looked upon,treated as a child: now that was to be cast aside. I was, like a snake,to throw off my old skin, and to appear in a new and brighter form.Who could my parents be? I had gathered enough from the conversation,that Ismail was not my father, and I taxed my memory to recollect suchportions of my previous existence as might throw some light on thesubject; but all was dark within me. I could remember nothing but poorMiriam, my mother as I used to call her; beyond this, though hard did Iendeavour, I could recollect nothing. It was only in after-times, as Ihave told you, and during a long imprisonment of twelve years, that mymemory aided me.
The old Moola of the Mosque had hitherto appeared in my eyes the mostlearned of men; he had stored my mind with passages from the Koran,which had made me an enthusiast. When he spoke to me of the gloriesof heaven, of the thousands of houris who would be at the commandof every true believer, described their beautiful forms, their eyeslike sapphires, their teeth of pearls, their lips like rubies, andtheir breath like the perfume of musk; the palaces of jewels, and thefountain of immortality and never-ending youth;--I believed that Iwas destined to enjoy all. They had inflamed my imagination; and as Iused to repeat them to Ismail, he too appeared as delighted as I was,and used to regret that he had never studied the blessed book, that hemight enjoy its beautiful descriptions; yet the Moola was called a foolby Hoosein, and I understood from him that theirs was a higher calling,their rewards more splendid than even those of the Moslim! What couldthey be? I burned to know; and resolved, that if Ismail did not breakthe matter to me, I would, of my own accord, lead him to the subject.
I said, I think, that my eyes never closed that night; when I rosein the morning, I found that Ismail and the others were gone. He didnot return for some days. This was nothing uncommon, certainly; buthis proceedings had become mysterious to me for a long time before,and I could not help connecting his frequent and long absences withhis true profession, whatever that might be. He could not be _only_ acloth-merchant: there was nothing in that plodding business to hold outto him or to me the splendid hopes which Hoosein and the rest evidentlyentertained, and with which I had no doubt he was familiar. It must besomething beyond this, which I could not compass; and to see whether Icould get any clue to it, I betook myself to the old Moola.
Azeezoola, for that was his name, received me with his usual kindness,but remarked that I must be ill, as my face, he said, was full ofanxiety, and as though I was suffering from fever. I said I had hadague, but that I was better, and that it would soon pass from me.I took my usual lessons in the forms, positions, and words of aMahomedan's daily prayers; and when these were ended, I begged him toopen the Koran, and explain again to me my favourite passages. The oldman put on his spectacles, and rocking himself to and fro, read to mepassage by passage of the book in Arabic, explaining the meaning to meas he read. It was the same I had heard often before: and when he hadfinished, I asked him whether there were not other portions of the bookwhich he had concealed from me.
"No, my son," said he; "I have concealed from you nothing. My knowledgeof this blessed book is indeed very limited; but oh! that you couldhave seen and heard the commentaries which my revered preceptor,peace be to his memory! had written upon it. In them so deep was hisknowledge, that every sentence of some chapters, in which the truemeaning is purposely hidden from the uninspired, formed a separatetreatise; nay, in some passages every word, and indeed every letter,was commented upon. But he is gone, and is now enjoying the delights ofthe paradise I have revealed to you. All I can do is to read to you,and I will do it again and again, till you have by heart the partswhich most interest you, and which are the cream of the book."
"But," said I, "have you never heard of anything beyond what youhave told me, in all your long experience? You are surely concealingsomething from me, which you fear to tell me, on account of my youth."
"No, indeed," said the old man, "it is true that some professors of ourreligion, Sofees and others, whose creeds are accursed, have from timeto time promulgated heterodox doctrines, which are plausible enough,and entrap the unwary; but they lead to ultimate perdition, and I thinkyou are now too well grounded in your belief to be led away by them,young as you are."
"Thanks to your kindness, I am," said I, "and it was only to trywhether I had more to learn, that I have now questioned you as I have,"for I saw he either could not, or would not reveal to me more. "Buttell me, father, what profession ought I to adopt to carry your wiseinstructions into the best effect?"
"Become a Moola," said he; "you will have to undergo much painfulstudy, but in the course of time this obstacle will be overcome; anddepend upon it, there is no station or profession so acceptable to Godas that of one of his ministers. I will instruct you in the rudimentsof Arabic, and your father when he sees your mind bent upon it will notoppose you; nay, he will send you to Delhie to complete the education Ishall have begun."
"Well, I will think of it," said I. But it was very far from myintention to become a Moola. I could not disguise from myself thatAzeezoola was miserably poor, and was dependent upon contributions hewith difficulty collected for his maintenance. Besides Ismail was nota Moola, nor Hoosein, nor any of their set and I must become one ofthem, be they what they might, before my mind could be at rest. I wentno more to him. I had got from him his little store of knowledge, andif once I had broken the subject of my future life to him, I shouldonly be subjected to continual arguments in support of his view of whatwould tend to my benefit; and as I did not like them, I thought itbetter to stay away.
Would to God I had become a Moola! Anything would be preferable to mystate at present, which must now for ever remain as it is. It is myfate, however, and I ought not to murmur at the decrees of Providence.If it had not been written, would my father have been murdered? If ithad not been written, should I have ever become a Thug? Assuredly not!Who can oppose fate? who can avert its decrees? Yet would you not,Sahib, release me, and provide for me, if after many years you found mefaithful?
Never! said I; you Thugs are too dangerous ever to be let loose againupon the world; your fingers would itch to strangle the first man youmet, and before long we should hear of Ameer Ali Jemadar, with a gangof forty or fifty fellows, who would give us infinite trouble to catch.Would it not be so?
I believe you are right, said Ameer Ali, laughing: in spite of myremorse at times, the opportunities would be too tempting for me to letthem pass. And you know I have eaten the Goor, and cannot change. I ambetter as I am, for if you caught me again you would hang me.
I have not the least doubt we should, Ameer Ali: but go on with yourstory; you will forget what your train of thought was, if you digressin this manner. He resumed.
Nearly a month elapsed, and after this weary time to me, Ismailreturned, accompanied by Hoosein. My father, for so I shall call him,remarked a change in my appearance, which I accounted for as I haddone to the Moola, and he seemed satisfied. But was I? Oh, no! I wasconsumed by my burning curiosity to know all that was hidden from me.I could not sleep at nights, and became sullen, and oppressed withthoughts which led me to no conclusions. At one time I had formedthe determination to leave my father, and seek my fortune; and hadactually packed up a few of my clothes, and a little money I had, andresolved to leave the town in the night, little caring where my fateshould lead me; but when the time came, the sense of my desolation sopressed upon me, that I abandoned the idea, and remained. I trusted totime for clearing up the mystery that hung over me, but at the sametime determined that I would be more watchful over my father and hiscompanions than I had ever been before. And m
any were the resolutionsI made to speak to him on the subject nearest my heart; yet even whenopportunities occurred, I could not bring myself to the task. It wasnot that I was timid--naturally I was brave--it was a mysteriousconsciousness that I should hear something (whenever I should hear it)that was strange, nay, fearful, that deterred me; but why this feelingshould have so possessed me I cannot now tell, yet so it was.
One evening, Ismail sent for me to his sleeping-room. I had been rarelyadmitted to it, and my heart beat fearfully, with a presentimentthat I was upon the crisis of my fate.--Ismail too seemed to me tobe disturbed; he bade me sit down, and we sat silently for some timegazing on one another. There was only one small oil light burning ina recess of the wall, which made the apartment very gloomy, and thistrifling circumstance contributed still more to increase the morbidfeeling within me. I believe I almost gasped for breath; I could bearit no longer. I arose, threw myself at his feet, and burst into apassionate fit of weeping.
"Why, Ameer, my child, my son," said he, kindly and caressingly, "whatis this? what has troubled you? has some fair one bewitched you? haveyou got into any difficulty while I have been away? Tell me, my boy;you know you have no one in the world so fond of you as your father,and, alas! you have now no mother."
When my feelings gave me power of utterance, fearfully I repeated tohim what I had heard from him and the rest, on the memorable nightI have before related. When I had finished, I rose up, and with athrobbing heart said, "I have erred, my father; my curiosity, a boy'scuriosity, overcame me, but since then my feelings have changed, why Iknow not; I am no longer a boy, for I feel that I can do anything, andonly implore you to put me to the proof;"--and I folded my hands on mybreast, and stood silently. He was evidently much moved; dusk as itwas, I could see his face working with emotions, and under expressionsnew to me.
At last he broke the silence, which had become to me insupportable:"My son," he said, "you know more than I had ever intended you should.I have now no alternative but to make you such as I am myself, and myknowledge of your character leads me to anticipate much from you."
"Trust me, only trust me!" I passionately exclaimed; "you shall neverhave cause to regret it!"
"I believe you," said he; "and now attend well to what I shall say,for upon it your future existence depends. There can be no hesitation,no falling back on the world, when once you know all. You will have toundergo a trial which will stretch your courage to its utmost: will yougo through with it? dare you to brave it?"
"I dare," cried I, for I was reckless.
He seemed to be absorbed in thought for a few moments, and then said,"Not to-night, but I swear to you that in three days at the farthest, Iwill conceal nothing from you."
I was disappointed, yet full of hope, and he dismissed me to my repose.Ismail performed his promise; but I can hardly describe to you, Sahib,the effect it then had on my mind: shall I endeavour to relate what histale was? I only hesitate, as it began by his giving me a sketch ofhis life, which I fear would lead me from my own story--yet it wouldinterest you greatly.
I doubt not that it would, Ameer Ali, said I; and when you havefinished your own adventures you can return to it.
You are right, Sahib, I will omit it at present, all except hisconcluding words; which, with his tale of wrong, endured and revenged,made me hate the world, and cleave to Thuggee as the only professionand brotherhood in which I could hope to find good faith existing. Theywere these, and they have ever been indelibly impressed on my memory.
"Thus far, my son, have I related some events of my life for yourinstruction, and I have little more to add. I need hardly now mentionthat I am a Thug, a member of that glorious profession which has beentransmitted from the remotest periods, to the few selected by Alla forhis unerring purposes. In it, the Hindoo and the Moslim both uniteas brothers: among them bad faith is never known: a sure proof, thatour calling is blessed and sanctioned by the divine authority. Forwhere on this earth, my son, will you find true faith to exist, exceptamong us? I see none in all my dealings with the world; in it, eachman is incessantly striving to outwit and deceive his neighbour: andI turn from its heartlessness to our truth, which it is refreshing tomy soul to contemplate. From the lowest to the highest among us, allare animated with the same zeal; go where we will we find the samebrotherhood; and though differing perhaps, in many parts, in customsand points of practice, yet their hearts are the same, and all pursuethe great aim and end of Thuggee with the same spirit. Go where wewill, we find homes open to us, and a welcome greeting among tribeseven of whose language we of Hindostan are ignorant; yet their signsof recognition are the same as ours, and you need but to be thrownamong them as I have been, to experience the truth of my assertions.Could this be without the aid of God? So clashing are human interestsand so depraved is the social state of our country, that I own nosuch feeling could exist without the Divine will. Some repugnance youwill feel at the practice of the profession at first, but it is soonovercome, for the rewards held out are too glorious, to allow us todwell for a moment on the means we use to attain them. Besides, it isFate,--the decree of the blessed Alla! and who can withstand it? Ifhe leads us into the undertaking, he gives us firm and brave hearts,a determination which no opposition can overcome, and a perseverancewhich never yet failed to accomplish its object. Such, my son, is whatI would make you; you will enter on your calling at once in a highgrade, under my auspices, a grade which others spend years of exertionto attain; you will never know want, for all my wealth shall be sharedwith you. Be firm, be courageous, be subtle, be faithful; more you neednot. These are the highest qualifications of a Thug, and those whichensure honour and respect among our fraternity, and lead to certainsuccess and high rank. As for me, I look but to see you at the headof a band of your own, to retire, and in quiet, pass the remainder ofthe years allotted to me, content with hearing the praise which willbe bestowed upon Ameer Ali, the daring and enterprising son of Ismail!Till then I shall be your guardian and instructor."