Her eyes widened. “You would spare his life… for me?”
“I would. But you would have to give yourself to me completely. Not in half measures. Not as a bargaining tool but because it is what you want more than anything. I want you to want me more than anything.”
“Why? You have so many others willing to be yours. Craving your attention. Why do you need me?”
“I’m not entirely sure I know the answer to that question. There is something about you. Something that has gotten beneath my skin. I should not be telling you this… I should hold myself apart from you. To tell you this gives you a certain measure of power. Power I am not sure you can use judiciously.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you might try to use it against me. You would fail, of course, but it would damage our relationship badly. Perhaps so badly that we could never trust one another again. I would not wish for that. It would make for a very sad life for you.”
“How so?”
“I would never call you to me again. You would spend the rest of your days with only the women of the harem for company. You would have no hope of children to fill your life.”
“I have no hope of that now. Not while your brother has no heirs.”
“That will change soon. Within days, perhaps.”
“And if he never has an heir? You will accept being submissive to him and childless?” She frowned.
“He is emperor,” Valerian said softly. But he dropped eye contact with her. She reached to touch his chin, making him look at her again.
“If you do not agree with his dictates, why don’t you do something about it?”
“What would you have me do?” he asked sharply. “Unseat the emperor?”
“Why not?” she demanded. “We both know he goes too far in his hunger for world domination. Lives are needlessly lost in his wars. He is cruel and unforgiving. He slaughters people by the thousands. There are no redeeming qualities in him!”
Valerian disentangled himself from her and got to his feet. He began to pace beside the bed. “You shouldn’t speak of things you don’t understand!” he barked.
“You’re damn right I don’t understand them!” she cried, sitting up and watching him walk his hard circuit. “I don’t understand how a man like you… a man who thrives on domination… could ever be content to live under the bootheel of a twisted monster like your brother!”
“I have no choice! He is firstborn. Emperor by right of blood. I am second born. My lot in life is to see to his security and comfort. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of all I believe in.”
“Doing nothing is a betrayal of all you believe in,” she countered, reaching out to stop his pacing by pressing her hands to his chest. “I am learning about you. I am learning you are a man of honor. Your brother has no honor. You surely must see that.”
“I do,” he admitted. But then said hurriedly, “But it would be dishonorable to betray him.”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps by following his dictates you are betraying the people who died at his hand and in his wars. Did you ever think of that?” She could tell that he had, that this wasn’t the first time he had struggled with his conscience and his position in life.
“What would you have me do? Start a war with my brother? Plunge our people into civil war? Ask them to choose a side?”
“Why not, if you’re the better man? Is it better to have civil war or better to let a dictator kill others at whim? Is it better to lose thousands of soldiers to wars he shouldn’t be fighting? Not to mention the thousands of civilians who will die in the process. Your logic does not stand!”
She knew he knew she was right, she could see him struggling with it in his mind and in his heart. Then she realized that this was perhaps the first time he had talked about this with another person. A man like Valerian would keep his thoughts close to the vest. Close to himself lest wind of his doubts and feelings reach his brother. Yet here he was, discussing it with her.
She didn’t know why, but it made her feel special. Made her feel like she mattered to this man. He was not just using her for his blasé enjoyment… he wanted a woman of equal mind to him. He wanted somewhere to rest his head when his worries became too troubling. He wanted a place where he could express himself without fear of reprisals.
She tested her theory by cupping his face in her hands. “You are safe with me,” she told him. “I have no love or loyalty to your brother. I will not turn on you and tell him what secrets lie in your heart.”
“Loyalty must be tested before trust can be given,” he said. “You are not loyal to me.”
She gave a curt nod. “This is true. I am not loyal to you… yet. But I could learn to be if you show me you are worth my loyalty.”
“Your loyalty is to yourself. To your family. If my brother promised to free you and your entire family, you would turn on me in an instant.”
The accusation stung her for some reason. The feeling of hurt confused her, but she pushed it aside. “I would not. Because I know your brother would not honor any agreement he entered into. With you… I am hoping it is different. Prove to me you will see my sisters safe and happy, and you will have my loyalty.”
“I must find them first. That might take a great deal of time,” he warned her.
“I realize this. Knowing you are making the effort is enough for now. Only show me you are making progress, and I will be satisfied.”
“You will submit to me? You will allow me to use you as I will?” he asked. His gaze swept down the length of her body like a fierce, hot caress. It sent a chill down her spine. An excited chill. “I… will try.”
He laughed at that. A soft, fond sort of laugh as he reached to cup the side of her face in his hand. “Good. It would be no fun if you were too easy about it.”
“You think this is fun? Hurting me?”
“Am I? Am I really hurting you? Or is it your preconceived notions on how a man should behave toward a woman? What have I done to you that is so heinous? I have given you a home of safety and comfort. I touch you with love and reverence. I give you pleasure unlike anything you’ve experienced before. Is it all so bad?”
“You beat me,” she whispered, looking away from him. But he used his hold on her face to direct her eyes back to him.
“And none of it gave you pleasure?”
She wanted to lie to him. She wanted to tell him she was not that perverse. But it would indeed be a lie. She was perverse, she thought in dismay. She had to be, didn’t she?
“Ah I see. It frightens you to admit it to yourself. You think it makes you a bad person.”
“Doesn’t it?” she asked helplessly.
“Not at all. It only proves you can function on a higher level than most others. You can achieve pleasure in a higher state.”
He released his hold on her face, letting his fingers trail down off her cheek and onto her neck and throat. He caressed her body in one long stroke, his finger traveling from neck to shoulder to breast to belly. Then he reached the cleft between her legs and slid searching fingers into her. She gasped softly, rising up on her toes as if she could escape him. But he wasn’t about to let her go.
“You are wet,” he stated huskily. “As I knew you would be.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, knowing she was proving to him how inexperienced she was.
“It means you are ready for any pleasures that may come your way. It means you have not been untouched by what has gone on before this. It means I was right about you. You are very, very special.”
He dipped his head down and caught her mouth with his. He kissed her deeply, his tongue sliding past her lips so he could devour her. She felt overwhelmed as he drew response from her as a man dying of thirst might draw from a well. She moved closer to him out of instinct, her body aligning with his, her skin stimulated by the feel of his clothing. She was naked and he was not. It seemed both unfair and titillating at the same time. To date she had made no assertive moves in their relationship
. She had never initiated an action. For the first time she felt compelled to do so. She tried to tell herself she wanted to do it because it would ensure he would look for her sisters, but deep inside she knew that wasn’t the case. She wanted to do it because she wanted to do it. Because he stirred her to do it.
She reached for the hem of his tunic and pulled it up. She placed her hands against the warm skin beneath, against the intimidating musculature of his abdomen. He was solid and strong, and she could feel it in every inch of him that surrounded her.
She touched him only briefly, her senses overwhelmed by that feeling of strength he exuded. She continued to lift his tunic until she was pulling it over his head as he ducked down to make it possible.
She kissed him again, then broke from his mouth to take him in, drinking in the power and strength of him. And all the while his fingers toyed between her legs, stimulating her, making her heart race madly. His free arm ringed her waist, and he dragged her up against himself, bare skin connecting to bare skin. She gasped at the contact. All that vital, heated flesh and muscle holding her, surrounding her. She reached to wrap her arms around him, and he lifted her up into his embrace. It came naturally to her to wrap her legs around his waist, opening herself up to the further penetration of his fingers. She felt one slide into her body, and she drew in a sharp breath.
“Easy,” he soothed her. “Let it come easy.”
She did as he said and relaxed, letting him have his way. His fingers were thick and callused, and it felt as though he were filling her up entirely. As he stroked her from the inside out, he was stroking her from the outside in. He had found a spot, an oh-so-sensitive spot between her legs that sent swirls of pleasure swimming through her. She was dizzy with it. Overwhelmed by it. She abandoned herself to it.
And just like the night before he caused her to explode in a sudden wash of passion, unlike anything she had ever known. More so even than that experience of the night before, for this time she was fully welcoming his touch. It made all the difference in the world.
Her head swam dizzily as she went limp in his arms. He kissed her down the side of her neck and chuckled softly in her ear.
“Don’t leave me yet. We’ve only just begun.”
Her eyes flew open. There was more? How much more? Would she be able to stand more?
“You see? It’s not such a bad thing to give yourself completely over to me,” he said.
“No. Not at all,” she agreed shyly.
“Come with me.”
She laughed because she was still wrapped around him. “How can I go anywhere else but with you?”
“True. But put your legs down and walk with me. I want you to walk willingly to my bed.”
She dropped to her feet, sliding along the front of his body. She noticed how tense he was, how every muscle seemed to be flexed, whereas she was loose and relaxed. Usually it seemed to be the other way around. She would be the one walking about in a constant state of tension and he would seem at ease.
She followed him as he guided her to the bed. He urged her onto it, following her down, laying her out across it, and stretching his tall body along the length of hers. He made a hungry sound in the back of his throat as he nuzzled her neck.
“You smell so good,” he said heatedly. “I can smell the scent of your arousal on you. It makes my head swim with all the things I want to do to you.”
“Like what?” she dared to ask.
“You’ll find out. Over time. For right now, I only want to make love to you.” He rose up on an elbow, looking down over her. He let his gaze trip down the entire length of her figure. She squirmed under his regard, wondering what he was going to do next. Would she like it? Would he continue to make her feel as she had felt only moments ago? Or would he bring back the pain of his other methods?
She was shocked to realize she was open to whatever he offered next. He had opened an entirely new world for her, unlike anything she would have ever hoped to experience had she remained a simple farm girl. There the most exciting thing she could have hoped for was perhaps the birth of a child. But the way her life had been going, she had been spending more time taking care of her family than she had starting a new family of her own.
Now everything was different. Her entire world was different. Her entire world centered around this man. This strange, enigmatic, oddly tender man. A man who seemed strict one minute, but then giving the next. She couldn’t figure him out. Not yet anyway. But she felt given time she would come to better understand him.
He rolled away from her briefly, and she watched as he began to remove his boots. He let them drop over the side of the bed, and each thunk made her jump a little. It made her hyper aware that this was really happening. That he was getting naked, and this time there would be no holding back.
He unbuttoned his pants, and she held her breath. He was watching the expressions on her face. She tried to control them, but she knew she was giving everything away when he chuckled at her.
“Come,” he said. “Undress your master.”
He lay back against the bedding, tucking his hands behind his head. She sat up hesitantly and reached out to touch him. She smoothed her hands across his belly, feeling the hard muscles there, then dropped her touch lower to the waistband of his pants. The material fit him snuggly and would not be so easy to remove unless he helped her. But it was clear he had no intention of helping her any further than he already had.
She grabbed hold of his waistband and tugged down, her heart racing. She had once undressed her brother when he had taken ill with a fever, so it wasn’t that she was entirely unfamiliar with the naked male form. But that had been her brother. This man was the furthest thing from her brother she could get. This man wanted things from her. More things than she thought she might be able to give.
She pulled downward, peeling back the material as one might peel a piece of heavy fruit. He wore nothing beneath the pants, so he was quickly exposed to her. She flushed when she saw how erect he was. She had never seen a man in a state of excitement before. Oh, she knew how these things worked, but to actually see it…
She finished stripping away his pants and let them fall over the side of the bed. She tried to look anywhere but at him.
“Look at me,” he commanded her.
She did. At his face.
“Look at my body. Look at what my desire for you has wrought.”
She did as he instructed, less because he had told her to and more because for all her shyness she was incredibly curious.
She looked at the way his cock stood out from the nest of dark curls, the soft sac beneath also furred. She found it funny that he did not mind body hair on himself, and yet required it be removed from his women. She wondered why that was.
“Touch me,” he instructed, his voice rasping a little.
She reached out and touched him along the length of his shaft. She was tentative at first, wondering if she might somehow do it wrong or hurt him. She didn’t want to do anything to upset him. They seemed to be reaching a place of peace between them. And understanding. She didn’t want to ruin that.
“You won’t hurt me,” he said softly.
Encouraged, she wrapped her hand around his girth and felt his weight in her hand. She ran her lightly closed fist along the length of him, toward the tip. He hissed out a breath, and she froze.
“No. It feels good,” he assured her. “Far too good. I am quickly becoming lost to the idea of throwing you beneath me and plowing your virgin sheath. But I do not wish to harm you so I must will patience onto myself. It is a good test of my fortitude and self-discipline. But I will say you test me thoroughly.”
She smiled a little at that. It pleased her to know she had some power in all this. Although she wasn’t quite certain if it was a power she wanted to have. She stroked the length of him again, marveling at how silky soft he felt all around his rigid hardness.
“Come and kiss me,” he said hoarsely.
She immediately obeyed, s
liding up his body and reaching for his lips. He kissed her briefly and said, “I did not mean on my mouth.”
“What other way is there to kiss you?” she asked, confused.
“Just like I did your breasts you can kiss me all over my body. I want to feel your sweet mouth on me. Especially on my cock.”
She blushed at the bald suggestion and shied away, but he caught her chin and made her look at him. “I have given you pleasure, now it is time you return the favor.”
“But… I don’t know how!”
“You do. You are a natural at passion. I can feel it in you. Do whatever comes naturally to you.”
“It is not natural to kiss your cock,” she argued.
He laughed. “It is quite natural, I assure you. Go on. Try it. You cannot pass judgment on something you have not tried.”
“I know being stabbed is bad for me without needing to be stabbed,” she argued.
“Clever girl. I suppose you’ll just have to trust me and take my word for it.”
“You are asking a great deal,” she pointed out.
“Just try it. If you do not like it then we can revisit the issue at a later time.”
“You could simply command it of me,” she pointed out.
“I could… and I will. But I would rather you be willing than forced.”
She considered this. She considered that he did not want to force her. For some reason it made her more amenable to what he was asking of her. Then again, it was taking control for herself if she did this thing without waiting for his command. She would much rather be in control of the situation than not.
She slid down his body once more and eyed her opponent. There was a soft aroma lifting from him, musky and appealing. He kept himself clean, she understood. The women of his people seemed to bathe almost religiously, the women’s main living quarters taken up by a large bath. The women played in or lounged about the water for the better part of the day. They were surrounded by soft, sweet-smelling soaps and lotions, the combined scents of which filled the large area like a posy of flowers of all different kinds.