He didn’t bring up the subject again on Sunday. Monday came and went, they spent time together but he didn’t bring up her request. Tuesday was Emily’s birthday. He could sense Claire’s impatience. Her self-control since Sunday was impressive. He wondered if she would just abandon the idea if he didn’t bring it up.
Claire wasn’t sure if Tony thought that by avoiding the subject she would forget her own sister’s birthday, but she didn’t. She’d been good and hadn’t pushed. She rationalized he’s busy, maybe he forgot. Deciding to wait through dinner, if he didn’t mention it, she would bring it up.
They ate on the back patio with a slight breeze blowing her hair. The evenings were becoming increasingly cool and Claire regretted not bringing a sweater or light jacket to dinner. When they’d finished eating Tony began to stand, Claire bit her lip and spoke. “Tony, today is Emily’s birthday.” She’d created an illusion of equality in her mind and didn’t want to beg.
He resumed sitting and leaned into Claire, his voice slow and deliberate. “So you have decided that this is a subject worth risking reprimand? I believe that my last answer had been I would think about it.”
Claire swallowed, held her head high, and looked directly into his dark eyes. “Yes, I feel talking to Emily on her birthday is worth the penalty you believe I deserve for pursuing the subject.” Tony didn’t speak but intently watched her. She waited for his response. Finally, she spoke again, “Tony, may I please call my sister for her birthday?”
“I have her telephone number in my office. You may call her from there.” Claire’s heart jumped and her eyes sparkled. She started to stand but he indicated for her to sit. “You will speak to her on a speaker phone, with me present. Before you call, we will discuss the limitations of your discussion.” She hated his tone, the one he used when he felt the need to show his authority, but his words were saying that she could talk to Emily. The rest didn’t matter.
Claire nodded her head as Anthony spoke. “I understand. Thank you, Tony.”
Walking down the marble corridor toward Tony’s office Claire thought about her sister. They hadn’t spoken in over five months. She fought the incredible urge to run the length of the corridor and grab his telephone. Once in his office, Tony instructed her to sit near his desk. She could see the phone, the anticipation was agony. First he proclaimed the guidelines she must follow: do not tell Emily or John that she had been or is living in Tony’s house, only that she lived and worked in Iowa, near the Quad Cities. Claire should keep the conversation focused on Emily, avoid discussion of her. If pressed, she could admit to accompanying him to various events. But this was not to be initiated by Claire. If the subject of getting together came up, Claire was to be evasive. The shorter the conversation the better chance she wouldn’t make a mistake. To emphasize her obedience, he added, “Disobeying these rules is not an option, the consequence will not be pleasant.” He then asked if she had any questions, understood his rules, and was ready to call.
“I don’t have any questions, Tony. I promise I understand the rules, and oh yes, I am ready.”
He removed a piece of paper from the top drawer of his desk and dialed the phone. Then as if just occurring to him, he added, “There is a block on this line. My number will not appear on their caller ID.” He hit the speaker button and Claire could hear Emily’s line ring.
It rang and rang. Then she heard John’s voice, but it wasn’t really him, it was their voice mail. Her heart sank. She looked to Tony, “May I leave a message?” He nodded yes. John was still talking on the voice mail. “May I tell her I will try to reach her again?” The recording beeped. Finally, Tony nodded yes.
Keeping her tone as light as possible, considering the disappointment of reaching their voice mail, “Hi Emily and John, it’s Claire. I wanted to call and wish Emily a happy birthday. I’m sorry I missed you. I hope you’re having a great day. Things are very busy, but I’ll try to reach you again. Happy birthday!” Tony hit the disconnect button. Claire didn’t want to stop talking. She lowered her head and felt the tears fill her eyes. Resolved to accept the outcome, she looked up into Tony’s eyes. “Thank you for allowing me to make that call. Do you need me right now or may I go to my room?”
“You may leave.” Dejected, she rose to leave. “I will be up to join you later. I have some work to complete first.” Claire verbally acknowledged his plans and continued to walk toward the grand double doors. As she reached for the handle, he continued, his initial authoritative tone now more mellow. “Claire, New York is an hour later than Iowa. Perhaps they went out to dinner and a movie. You can try again later.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t turn back around. She didn’t want him to see the tears cascading down her cheeks. The disappointment was staggering. Yet she did appreciate the offer of another chance.
About nine in Iowa, they went back to his office to try it again. To expedite the process, Claire looked to Tony and proclaimed she remembered the rules and wouldn’t fail. The phone began to ring on the speaker. It only rang once, when the voice of a woman on the other end answered, “Claire, is that you?”
Claire’s heart soared, “Yes, Emily, it’s me. Happy birthday, sis!”
Emily’s voice hadn’t changed. Claire could hear the excitement of their reunion coming through the speaker. “Thank you. Hearing from you is the best birthday gift I could get. Where are you? Are you all right? Why haven’t you called us?”
Claire looked from the phone to Tony and then back to the phone. Tony’s eyes spoke volumes. “Hey, slow down. I have a new job that keeps me very busy, but I couldn’t miss talking to you on your special day. How are you doing? How is John? How is his law firm?” She’d done it. She succeeded in getting Emily to talk about them.
Emily said she was fine. School had recently started, and she thought this was going to be a good class. John was fine, just very busy. The law firm was good, he’s an associate now and the more hours he billed the better chance he had of making partner. Claire could have spoken with her for hours. They had so much catching up to do. Instead, Claire apologized and told her she needed to run. She loved her and please give John her love. Emily said she would, but that John was right there and would like to talk to her. Claire looked at Tony. His eyes darkened and he shook his head no. Claire said she would like to, but another time, she really needed to run. “Have a great birthday. Bye.” Tony pressed the disconnect button.
Claire stared at the telephone for the longest time. This was one of those junctures. She could be sad that the conversation was short or she could chose to be happy that there had been a conversation. She decided to pick B.
Standing to leave Tony’s office, she looked up to see him leaning back in his chair. He watched her as he unbuckled his belt. She realized that in his mind he’d shown a kindness, now he expected gratitude, quid pro quo.
If life were predictable it would cease to be life,
and be without flavor.
—Eleanor Roosevelt
Chapter 15
“We have been invited to a Labor Day barbeque tomorrow.”
Sitting on the sunporch, reading her new novel, and enjoying the Sunday afternoon, Tony’s casual announcement surprised Claire. The warm gentle breeze and faint smell of cut grass gave way to a rush of anxiety and disbelief. “We? Who would invite me?”
“Courtney, Brent Simmons’ wife,” Tony said while lounging on the loveseat with his laptop on his outstretched legs. His light brown eyes gazed at Claire as she questioned him.
“Why? What does she know about me?”
“Well, Brent met you when I brought you to New York, and Courtney knows I have been seen with the same woman on multiple occasions. Since they are probably my closest friends, she wants to meet you and invited both of us to tomorrow’s barbeque.”
Despite her sudden rush of anxiety at meeting his closest friends, Claire knew her fate wasn’t in her hands. “Are we going?”
“Yes. It starts at noon, and we will leave here by e
leven thirty.”
“I guess it sounds like fun.” Her tone was tentative. She wondered what these friends would think of her, if they would know him well enough to know the truth about her. If they didn’t, how should she act? Her stomach began to knot with unanswered concerns. “Please let me know if there are different instructions for an intimate barbeque versus a public event.”
Tony set his laptop on the table and contemplated Claire’s honest question. His words sounded instructive, but his tone wasn’t authoritative, just matter-of-fact as they looked at one another. The late summer breeze caused strands of her long golden brown hair to float around her beautiful face. Her green eyes saw only him as her expression reflected her sincere interest in his advice. “You have done well at public events, this will be different. I believe there will be four or five couples present. You met Brent. His wife is Courtney. They have two children who are grown and live away. Brent’s law partner Thomas Miller will be there. His wife is Beverly. She owns a renowned design firm in Bettendorf. Brent is a few years my senior. Thomas and Beverly are closer to my age, they have no children. Another guest will be Elijah Summer and his long-time companion MaryAnn. Elijah is another client of Brent and Tom’s. He has made a fortune in the entertainment business. He enjoys telling stories about some of his more famous clients. Personally I believe he enjoys hearing himself talk,” Tony paused and smiled, “much more than I like to hear him talk. And the last couple will be Timothy Bronson and his wife Sue. Tim is a junior vice president at my local office. He is young, but has proven himself. I asked Brent to invite him, make him feel involved.”
That was all helpful information, Claire desperately tried to remember names: Brent and Courtney, Thomas and Beverly, Elijah and Sue . . . no, Elijah and Mary Ann, Timothy and Sue. But that really didn’t answer her question. Claire thought to herself there were wives and long-time companions, what did that make her? “Tony, who am I?”
“You are a rumor.” Perhaps it was the calm setting of the sunporch or their recent understanding, whatever the reason, Tony spoke thoughtfully. He explained that he had spent his entire life working, accomplishing goals, and fulfilling self-made agendas. He’d been in relationships, but most were very short-lived. He believed strongly in appearances and had not been willing to risk the perception that people have of him on a woman. Claire thought about his words and his honesty, and right or wrong believed him. “You told me that you would not betray my confidence.”
“I did, and I still mean that.”
“I believe you know what could happen if you did.” Feeling the prickling sensation that accompanies chills along your arms and legs, Claire believed she did know, but she didn’t confirm that verbally. She allowed Tony to continue talking. “And therefore I have allowed you to become part of my life.” She thought that he honestly meant that as a compliment and she should be flattered; however, the feeling felt more ominous. She wondered and worried about her release. This quiet peaceful setting wasn’t the time or place to voice her concerns. Instead, she decided to put it away and deal with it later. “Since you have been seen with me at various events and I am rarely seen with the same woman over time, you are a rumor. There have been countless speculations about you. Everyone, like the man at the benefit, wants to know who you are and what you are to me.”
Claire admitted to herself that she too would like the answer to those questions. “I saw our picture in a People Magazine that was in your library.”
He said that their picture had appeared in many publications. His publicist had kept information limited to the basics: her name and that she lived in Atlanta. The people at this barbeque were part of his inner circle and won’t betray his trust. Other than Elijah Summer, their jobs and livelihood depended on Tony. Elijah was a more public person, but he respected Tony and wouldn’t compromise their mutual relationship.
She tried one more time, “And I am . . .”
“Persistent.” His eyes were milk chocolate with a contented expression. He spoke as he moved from the loveseat to the floor of the sunporch. “Well, I would say more than an acquaintance.” Kneeling in front of her and gently spreading her knees, he moved his hand under the hem of her skirt. Their eyes met as the sides of his mouth turned upward into a devilish grin. “Shall we say companion?”
If that was a question, she didn’t answer. Her attentions were turned to his actions. His touch eventually directed her from the chair to the rug. The windows and doors were open and they were exposed to the world. It was his house, he didn’t care. His movements were calm like his tone. The staff didn’t return until they were done.
Late Sunday night Shelby on the Weather Channel said a cold front would pass over Iowa. Claire awoke and opened the drapes to find condensation on the windows with crystal clear skies beyond. She stepped onto her balcony, looked at the trees, and smelled the fresh autumn air. The cool concrete beneath her bare feet and the goose bumps on her arms and legs confirmed the decrease in temperature. Wrapping her arms and her thick cashmere robe around her, she entertained fleeting memories of autumns past. She always loved summers but autumns were special too with cookouts and football games. Today the change of season saddened her, another reminder of time slipping away.
While in the shower, she contemplated the impending barbeque. It was a new situation, a new test and made her anxious. She hadn’t received a direct answer to her question, so Claire decided to approach the people like she was told to approach Emily. She would try to turn conversation away from her and divulge as little information as possible. Evasive answers would be best. There was a time she had loved parties, getting together with people, laughing, talking, and sharing. Now she was petrified of saying or doing something wrong.
Stepping from the shower Claire discovered her clothes laid on her bed. Sometimes that upset her, other times like today it was reassuring—one less decision to mess up. She did her hair, makeup, and dressed. At ten thirty she was ready, an hour before they were to leave.
The balcony held two chairs. She sat plaintively and watched the trees through sunglassed eyes. The bright sunshine caused a rapid increase in temperature. The trees rustled in the gentle breeze. Vibrant hues of yellow and orange were beginning to emerge from the green canvas. Her mind wandered through the woods to her lake. She hadn’t been back since Tony’s return. That is to say, physically. Mentally she would be sitting on the shore, watching the minnows or listening to the water rhythmically lap at the shore. As a matter of fact she was sitting on the shore in her mind when Tony materialized behind her. “Oh, good morning, Tony, I didn’t hear you enter.” He sat in the other chair.
“Good morning, where were you?”
“I’ve been here. I have nowhere else to go.”
“You seemed to be reflecting thoughtfully.”
“I was thinking about the trees,” being partially honest. “Their leaves are changing already.”
It was as if he never really looked at them, so he did. “I guess they are. That happens.” He didn’t concern himself with matters that he couldn’t influence. “Are you ready for our outing?” She said she was and they proceeded down the grand stairs. “I have a car out front, we can go.”
When Tony opened the door she saw a small Lexus SC 10 convertible, but no Eric. Tony opened the passenger door and she got in. He went around to the driver’s seat. She couldn’t help but smile at him. He wore jeans that accentuated his trim waist, a button-down shirt, white, which showed his tan and his powerful chest and shoulders. His hair was perfect, and as she beheld his profile she saw the “red-hot sexy” that People Magazine mentioned. He glanced at her as he started the car, her smile seemed different. “What?”
“I guess I forgot you drive, without Eric I mean.”
Tony smiled. “I love to drive. It is just more advantageous to be driven and accomplish work during my commutes.” The convertible felt liberating with the wind and air invigorating their senses. Thankfully, Claire had decided to wear her hair in a side br
aid. She laid her head on the headrest and watched the road twist and turn, the vibrant sapphire blue of the sky and the autumn colors made for picture-perfect views as Tony drove the narrow country roads. The aroma of autumn was in the air. Claire inhaled and memories of pumpkins and leaves filled her subconscious.
The car slowed to a stop along a quiet side road. Tony gently touched Claire’s braid. “Good choice of style.” He smiled “I am needed in Chicago for a couple of days next week.” He continued to play with the end of her braid. Claire thought about her lake. “I have made you an appointment at a very exclusive spa near my apartment.” Her attention was refocused on him and his words. “Your hair needs trimming and you can have a manicure, pedicure, full body message, sauna, whatever you desire.”
She started to respond, “Thanks, but no thanks.” He stopped her and went on, “I just trust that it will not need to be canceled.”
Confused, Claire asked, “Why would it need to be canceled?” As the words escaped her lips she wondered why she cared, she actually didn’t want to go to a spa. She wanted time alone to go to the lake.
His hand moved from her braid, gently removed her sunglasses, and lifted her chin, holding her eyes to his. She watched as the dark deepened. “If today doesn’t go as I believe it should, a massage may not be possible. We wouldn’t want appearances to be questioned.” There was no ambiguity to his statement. Claire received his meaning loud and clear. She suddenly felt chilled.